[IEN Presents] Bliss Festival 2188

Degenerates.

Quick check-in from the autograph desk - enthusiastic response from fans, great to see everyone again (and in costume too!), and only three people so far this afternoon have nitpicked me dual-wielding shotguns. (I know, but it looks cool.) So, the trilogy is finally complete! Maiden I'm glad they rewrote the ending, that original one was just... I don't want to think about it. Everyone's taking turns to entertain the crowd while they're in line for autographs and sales and whatnot - Seysa and Emmaga got together for a raunchy little dance earlier, nice reprise of Shadow Broker. Come on down and say hi, everyone! It's packed here, but well organised, nobody's being ignored. There'll be a trivia contest shortly, with one of the very few remaining Mountor life-size cuddle pillows up for grabs.

So what do you do after you're finished making the galaxy's most ambitious porn epic? Me, enjoy having more time to devote to other things, but some of the studio people here are cryptically murmuring about prequels and spin-offs. :)

He's signing his own name. Although in Kahje iconoscript, it's actually shorter that way. (He has been asked to sign as 'Lusto' by a handful of fans though - there are even some Blasto fans here just to see him and get him to mark their Blasto 6 re-release sets.)

I probably shouldn't have seen that.
Or, indeed, laughed quite so hard.

I'm a terrible parent.

DAY FOUR

Hello again fans of joy, and welcome to another day of Bliss. If you thought the show just couldn’t get any better after yesterday’s cinematic epic, come on down to the Vassigo Complex on levels 5 and 6 of the main festival grounds, and think again. That’s right folks, Omega has come to the Citadel at last. From today through to the end of the fortnight, you’ll find attractions, live shows, merchandise, seminars, and tourism information on the vibrant heart of the Terminus in the Omega Pavilion - all organised by Omegan businesses and entrepreneurs themselves, so you know it’s genuine. Watch strippers direct from Afterlife, sample cuisine from the Hungry Mile, dance to DJs from Prometheum and Backlash, and dare to venture into the Gauntlet. If you’ve never sampled life on the other side of the galaxy, now’s your chance.

And Bliss’s series of educational seminars continues today, with a special focus on quarian health. Rannoch’s ancient and vibrant culture is being rediscovered in all corners of the galaxy, so if you’re quarian, or enjoy the company of a quarian partner (and who wouldn’t?) visit the seminar wing for the latest in safety and leisure techniques and technology to be sure that you make incredible memories for all the right reasons. Sex Ed and lifestyle guru Ysel’Kan vas Rannoch will be there, so get in early to avoid the crowds!

This is Sally Silken, reporting from Bliss Festival for IEN.

Oh, way great! I didn't realize they had such an extensive quarian section. It's... hard to imagine there once was an adult entertainment industry. Somehow. Well, I'll go have a look what they have on display. Maybe even some dancers from Rannoch?
We will see!

People who don't want to sterilize their crotch before they bone. People who don't want their partner constantly getting sick after boning. People who don't want to be involved with a species that is ugly as sin. People who don't want a partner that redefines high maintenance. People who don't want to deal with quarian bullshit. People who don't want to deal with buying and maintaining a clean room.

I could go on.

Really, quarians are partners for people who want the 'glamor' of getting with something less common then three titted volus prostitutes.

Emphasis: Had. Clarification: Past tense. The Rannochian pleasure city of Requah [source and distribution center for twenty one point oh eight oh two of Creator-Remnant euphemism: "adult entertainment"] was leveled by plasma shelling during the Morning War.

It was regarded as an appreciable blow to opposing morale.

Sapients whose personal moral/physical/social standards preclude copulation with Creator-Remnants.

Heh, that recording they played of Aria to welcome everyone to the Omega Pavilion looked so adorably disinterested. Poor girl, the things she'll do for her station. :)

Let me know if you find any, there's a rumour around that Aera'Satal might be planning some kind of appearance, I don't want to miss that.

No, truly, you've already responded to a bit of throwaway pop journalism hyperbole in a manner that'd make the GalaxyTube commenter community proud. No reason to show off and risk earning their jealousy as well.

Quite. Well luckily, so long as the people survive, the inspiration for Requah will never be lost, even if it's now regrown in a different permutation.

(So is Requah being rebuilt, or what? I feel I should keep abreast of things like this.)

Surprisingly repulsive statements, really.

Well, I can imagine the prospect of being able to live without suits and helmet is as frightening for some quarians as it is liberating for others. Developing a new form of adult entertainment is just a natural thing that will happen.

DAY FIVE

Welcome once again! Day five sees some fascinating educational (and entertaining) presentations, starting with a peek into the secrets of the most devoted practitioners of the erotic arts as galaxy-famous talk show duo Laora Sazi and Zel Parror play hosts to a variety of special guests presenting the wonders of gene mods and body augmentations. You’ll never believe what’s possible when science teams up with desire, folks - don’t miss it. And later in the day, Palaven’s Arkadin Center for Health Research presents the latest in chirality-management learning, so all you dextro-levo couples, make a special note in your day planners, you’ll be grateful later.

Everyone’s looking forward to this evening though, as T’Kelu Concert Hall rocks out to grav-metal legends Antares Maelstrom. With Diji Hasre and Trent Miller reuniting on lead vocals for this show only, the Maelstrom will be performing with backup from Bliss Festival’s own Tayseri Asps dancers in what promises to be one of the defining live music events of the year. A handful of tickets remain to be sold to lucky music lovers at the gates, so if you haven't got a seat reserved already, hurry on over!

This is Sally Silken, reporting from Bliss Festival for IEN. Maelstrom!

Waitwaitwait.. you do mean the Aera'Satal? As in the Aera'Satal? The one? No WAY! Ohgawwwddddessss.
We just have to see her. Have. To.

Wait. Is that a rumor or true?

I for one am pleased to see our fine Tayseri ward was chosen as the venue for this, er, 'interesting' event out of all the wards on the Citadel! I'm sure it's already doing wonders for the economy, attracting more tourists from across the station and Citadel Space, and supporting our local businesses. While a festival on this particular topic may not have been my first choice, I certainly can't fault its effects!

Though, I sincerely hope in the future we'll have a far more traditional, family friendly event that can attract an even wider audience to come visit Tayseri. Like a good old fashioned arms bazaar, or a travelling zoo of exotic predators. Now that's the ticket!

Eighty nine point five three six oh one percent of the population of Requah was eradicated during the aforementioned plasma shelling.

The city has been rebuilt as per Consensus post-war caretaking protocols. Current projections indicate that Requah will remain largely uninhabited for no less than three successive quarian generations. Recreation of pre-Morning War economic climate is projected to take no less than two successive quarian generations following a inhabitation status of at least fifty percent plus one.

Course I'd be downrange when this is going on. I'll have snag the holos when they finally go up on the fuckin' 'net.

DAY SIX

Hello folks, Sally Silken here welcoming you to another day of Bliss, with a special announcement. I’m sure a number of you were already on your way to Caris Entertainment Plaza to see the unveiling of this season’s designs from Suana Artisans of Thessia, manufacturers of the galaxy’s finest, most imaginative, and (trust me on this) most effective sex toys, right? Well, not only will you see the latest in pleasure crafts shown off by some of the festival’s hottest models, but today only, the stars of Citadel XXX 3 will be joining them to personally launch their very own signature CX3 toys. Seysa Jannus’s ‘Eternity’, Reva’Jen’s ‘Pilgrim’, Vanity Fair’s ‘Perfection’, Daia T’Nara’s ‘Justice’, Vanessa Vansen’s ‘Psychotic’, Emmaga Juhana’s ‘Synthesis’, and the star of the show, Melody Jovia with ‘Paragon’ - they’ll all be there, in some cases the first time ever that these performers have appeared live on stage. This is an historic event, and there are no guarantees one like it will ever happen again - don’t miss out!

Just to show that even a stunning lineup of talent such as that isn’t enough for the organisers of Bliss to call it a day, after midday anyone with a passing interest in asari (and doesn’t everyone love the asari?) will want to join guest speaker Vira D’Lite for the latest in her series of presentations on the art of sensual melding. Vira will be joined by Reesa Narkomis, Paurria Seltna, and other exciting performers as she guides you through the only world that truly has no limits, the one inside the mind. Lucky volunteers from the audience will be involved, so get in early to apply for consideration.

And as if that wasn’t enough, whether you’re interested in creating visual art or just experiencing it, head over to the Goronak Ter Auditorium where star photographer Derrin Grahm will be presenting erotic photography lessons for amateurs of all kinds, from beginners to enthusiastic home visual artists. Learn the tricks that have got Grahm’s legendary photoshoots into Fornax, Headlights, Playbeing, FTOM, and many more high-profile interstellar publications. This is another event where volunteers will be accepted, so if you want to find out just how good you can look, now’s your chance.

This is Sally Silken, reporting from Bliss Festival for IEN.

This is a really terrible ideas, sir. Like, I will bet 100 credits that those animals somehow get out and wreck up the place.


Whose that.

'Justice' people - in stores now, buy it and never need another accessory ever again. (I'm kidding, variety is too good to pass up. But it is a great design. Artistic too, the aesthetic touches are modelled on designs from Justicar Order temples and battlegear, Suana's people did a really great job realising the half-formed idea I outlined when we got together to work on it.) Did anyone come see the Suana show? If you didn't, you missed what will probably be the only time ever Melody Jovia performs anywhere but on a closed set - and sorry everyone, there won't be any video releases (and they were very strict on nobody making any amateur recordings). Great day though, you'd never know she'd never performed before a live audience before.

Rumour so far, but you know what she's like with publicity, you only ever hear about if after it's all over. I'll let you know the instant I hear anything.

I think for all the 'discussion and deliberations' that went on, it was always going to be Tayseri. Rebuilding or not, different solar system or not, Tayseri's always been Bliss's home, I don't see that ever changing, no matter how much certain parties (I'm looking at you, Illium Entertainment) might lobby for a relocation.

DAY SEVEN

Hello again folks, and welcome back to Bliss! We’re half-way through the festival, and what a show it’s been so far! Get down to the main public stage for a special half-way celebration where, in the open for anyone who comes along, no ticket purchase required, the Illian Stars will be performing a special routine supported by biotic artists from Thessia’s Temple of the Ocean Sun. Again, no ticket required (just present your omni-tool credentials for proof-of-age, of course), so you’d have to be insane not to watch this, and with extra seating being set up around the stage, and the big screens all in action, there’ll be room for an estimated 100,000 audience members. Come along early for the second day of heats of the Bliss Festival Amateur Striptease Championships - today’s entrants had the confidence to sign up for a spot on the most public stage of the festival, so you know they’re brimming with confidence. Will we see the start of the next great career in erotic performance? Jesia T’Kando, troupe leader of the Stars, will be there early too to help in the judging, and if today’s entrants can impress her, they’re sure to go far.

This is Sally Silken, reporting live from Bliss Festival for IEN - one week almost over, and another spectacular seven days to follow!

Hey Daia, I'll be some judging later, may 'Justice' be done to those entrants and their talent. Goddess, I hope we don't see too many questionable stuff.

I have a list here and there some interesting species on them, granted, sixty percent asari, rest mostly humans and a handful turians but there's one highlight I am exceptionally curious about. I wonder why they didn't ask you to be a judge? Judge Justicar maybe?

Sixty credits that a batarian wins. I'm not even serious but I will laugh my [FRINGE/HORNS/CREST/EXTRA EYES/BLUE AND OR PURPLE SKIN] off if that happens.