Getting the Band back together (closed)

"Where. Did. De rest. Go."

Kirok's face leaned in dangerously close to Ana's, eyes like diseased egg yolks, like puddles of satan's piss.

Ana grinned, a horrifying visage of blue, yellow and green.

"In a hedge fund, silly!"

Having finally run out of breath, Jil'Korah went back to something approaching silence, so far as the room was concerned, sipping his bottle of turian spirits as he conversed with Ensemble.

So what exactly did you invest in?

I now possess several small villas on Rannoch, which are being repaired and refurbished by geth units in anticipation of tourism.

You're a landlord?

In essence.

The quarian was quiet(er) for a moment, quietly considering the possibilities and working out how much money he had left after upgrading basically every component of his envirosuit.

That's actually a pretty good idea. You uh, you're not looking for a partner, are you?

Not at the present time.

Oh. Okay.

"So now that we're uh, we're all here... I had kind of an idea on how we could invest our credits. Assuming you guys have some of them left... Long-term stuff, nothing that would be out of place or attract attention," there was a distinct pause, as if the next sentence wasn't quite so confident as the last, "just like Shirin recommended."

Okay, that last sentence was a huuuuuuuge gamble, but at the moment he was too busy trying to one-up a geth to care.

"Right, which brings me to my second point of interest."

Shirin was well ahead of this particular curve; nearly half of her considerable earnings during the Band's operation had ended up as venture capital for establishing Epiphany. Amazingly, even that hadn't been as much as she'd liked - it had been necessary to find a partner in order to open the house. In the end, that'd turned out to be the right move; while she was skilled and replete with ideas, the drell was very inexperienced in the mechanics of this kind of venture, and intense research was never a match for experience. (Plus having some extra creative input never hurt. Go without actual improvement-based feedback long enough, and you get stagnant. Tedious. Boring.)

The remainder had been spent furnishing her respectably well-to-do lifestyle - a process she was comfortable with, since Shirin tended to have her income washed a second time by a business associate - and funding a couple less-than-totally-legal side projects.

"Whatever it is you five are about to plan, do not make it traceable to me. I don't need renewed S&E interest, especially not right now. So be discreet, don't go back to the well too many times, don't use any of my fund-reroute channels, you get the idea." She folded her arms and the ruff and overcoat both swung freely in place, champagne on emerald. It was pretty. "And before you get the temptation to say something about it, consider that I gave all of you my absolute best, even when shit went completely south. I planned every job to minimize risk and liability on your parts as much as possible, I fought and bled and got wrecked right there alongside you, and when I finally headed out on my own I left you a thorough notice and a full set of guidelines on how to handle the transition."

A pause. "Even if you didn't get it." That sounded slightly exasperated, but who knew? "We've been professional about our arrangements whenever it mattered - all I'm asking you to do is keep that going and not roll on me when, or should I say if, you feel the heat around the corner."

"Well boss, I guess we should be thankful you didn't just kill us." The turian said with a shrug, "Anyway, guess we won't be seeing you again. Too bad, I liked the sanity you brought to the table."

Kirok gradually slid his eyes from Ana to Shirin, the scowl on his face speaking volumes.

"I dunno. I don't like it. Yer getting too much like yer pappy fer yer own good, kid," Kirok growled, lips curled thick and deep. "Last time I heard somethin' like dis from'a drell, th' drell done disappeared t'god knows where fer a year or so, then ended up dead. Not smart dead, either. Heroic dead, mebbe. But not smart dead."

Grabbing the Claymore - and giving one last warning look at Ana - the krogan reholstered it, yellow eyes narrowed suspiciously at Shirin.

"You sure this is what y'want? Ain't like y'can't change yer mind're ennything. Ain't nothin' cast in stone. Six centuries done told me ain't nothin' permanent but chaos, an' that shit's prone t'change onna toss of'a bottle. Y'can still make a heapin' of creds wiv us."

Shirin snorted. It was very unladylike. Par for the course, for the most part.

"I already made a 'heaping of credits'," she answered. "I've pretty much accomplished exactly what I set out to do - I wiped out the rest of my siblings, and I made enough money that I could invest in a legitimate business and do what I want to. Look, there's..." A pause. Shirin chose her words carefully - it was clear she didn't want to be misconstrued. "Crime is a good means to an end. It worked fine for me. But that's all it is - a means, not an end in itself. You do the whole 'career criminal' thing, and well...statistically speaking, get in enough gunfights and eventually you're going to die in one."

Egads, but they'd already come close a few times. Admittedly, she'd never come as close to getting splattered while working with the Band as she had in the Red Room, but that was a matter of comparative risk factor. Apples and...some other fruit that wasn't apples and was extremely lethal to eat. Probably from Tuchanka.

"Obviously I'm not giving orders or anything, this is basically just a suggestion, I guess. I can't stand some of you, but hell, you were my team, I put my life in your hands more than once - least I can do is try to look out for you in return. I'm not saying 'go legit right now' or anything, just try to plan ahead. Have a goal in mind and a plan to get to it."

Another pause.

"...Uh, if you're going to organize your own heists, that would also be good advice for doing that. Except replace 'a plan' with 'four or five plans'. Because the first one will always go wrong, trust me."

"Heh heh heh. Well, we'll see. 'Sides, y'fergit. Someuvus been doin' this fer longer n' some civilizations been around," Kirok said with a hearty grin. "At that point, why stop a good thing? Ennyways. Y'take care of yerself, Shirin. If'n y'ever need some muscle, tho', y'call ol' Kirok. Ain't gonna be th' same without ya."

Kirok turned and looked at the rest of the group.

"'Course, this means I'm gonna hafta keep these sorry bastards in line m'self, so things might git a mite innerestin'."

Quam raised his browplate, and looked towards Kirok"Kirok, you know I respect you, spirits know that I might even be prepared to say I like you."

"But, we both know you're not big on planning; I've never heard any of your plans evolve beyond, the 'blow shit up' and 'shoot at stuff' stage. I think it's obvious who should be in charge of this group and planning," and he looked towards Jil, "Geth, as far as I'm concerned you're the first in line for the job."

That, at least, was almost certainly going to be a drawn-out and complicated discussion, one that had considerable potential to end in violence.

So it was that, between the time Kirok looked to the group and the time he looked back to the bar, Shirin had simply vanished.

Someone looked at him, and said something about leadership. Leading a successful band of interstellar criminals, even being considered to lead a successful band of interstellar criminals! It was like whole new levels of badass were opening up before his eyes, like-

Please remind Aliquam of the practical difficulties that must be overcome to facilitate my leadership.

Wait. Geth was not a friendly nickname anybody had applied to Jil in the past... Ali couldn't seriously be suggesting that Ensemble take Shirin's place?

Please remind Aliquam of the practical difficulties that must be overcome to facilitate my leadership.

I'm not sure he's serious, maybe he's referring to me?

It would be illogical to refer to you as 'Geth'.

Nicknames are supposed to be illogical!

This would be an unusual time to apply a secondary designation.

Unusual but not unheard of! We hadn't seen each other in a while!

Please remind Aliquam of the practical difficulties that must be overcome to facilitate my leadership.

Well, they'd now been conversing in his head for what felt like days while the others just stared (except for Shirin, who disappeared through a side door in what would have been a very stealthy exit if not for the envirosuit's advanced sensors), so it was probably time to say something.

"Uh, Ali, Ensemble says thanks, but no-"

Assuming some portion of the band's remaining funds were allocated to appropriate upgrades, I would be a viable leadership candidate.

"Erm... That is, he has conditions? One of which is presumably to facilitate communications, since me relaying orders would be a pretty bad way to do things."

Right?

Correct. This is why I will retain your services.

Fucking geth.

Kirok's brow wrinkled even further as the krogan kicked his stoney brain cells into what he considered high gear.

"Did enny of ya see where Shi- okay, wait, what? Ya'll want th' geth t'be in charge? I've got six hunnert an' sixty-six years of survivin' on mah side!? Whut's th' calculator got dat I don't got?!"

"That's acceptable request, and one that makes sense." Quam rubbed his chin, "how much are we talking about?"

Then Kirok had caught oon to the conversation. "Kirok you know I respect you, but let's face facts, we need plans that go beyond 'shoot stuff'."

"But, those are the most funnest plans!"

Kirok pouted as he look to the members of the group. Nope. There would be no winning this one.

"Well, what's th' geth bring t'th'table? What makes a pocket calculator so damn good at bein' in charge, eh?"

“Welllll, there’s the hole ‘not forgetting the plan when someone calls you ‘kiddo’’ thing…big boy.”

The moment that Shirin got into stride, Ana had translated her whole attention onto her – not merely because it allowed her to watch the drell’s actions, but because there was a grain of truth to what she had been saying. Half the group had been at each other’s throats before they’d even begun working together; when they were in business, it took nothing short of a tactical genius to keep them going. It took talent to not just stifle their rage, but to harness it, nurture it – send it where it needed to go. After all, who would have thought to send their ugliest member into as Noverian meeting as a businesswoman?

Tides knew she didn’t have that ability. Maybe one for manipulation, maybe a touch of talent with her fingers (rolling the perfect joint was an art, after all), but when it came to long-term planning she was about as useful as a sack of wet cats.

Ah well, she thought, huffing the fumes from Kirok’s old mug as Shirin disappeared. Maybe in another life.

And in the meantime, while she was still (somewhat) lucid, she could do the responsible thing… and jeopardize Kirok’s bid.

“But really, why give the calculator, day planner, course corrector, emergency translatorrrrr, debugger, engineer, and overall guy what speaks at th’speed of light the job?” she said, ticking off the geth’s many disciplines with her fingers. “And besides, can you imagine the stuff we could do with Kirr-Kirr in charge?!”

She put a hand up to her mouth and leaned in conspiratorially. When she spoke, her voice somehow managed to drop an octave, putting in on par with a newborn krogan, and she let the right side on her face droop as though she'd suffered a stroke.

“AWRIGHT, BOYS AN’ BITCHES, OUR FIRS’ ASSIGNMENT: RAIDIN’ DA SUJIKAWA STEAKHOUSE! Dat’s right, Whitefang’s PECKISH an’ we gotta feed her NOW! WHO’S CLEANIN’ DA POOPS WHILE WE’RE GONE?!”

The giant krogan looked more wounded by the asari's comment than anything else.

"I... I don' sound like dat," was all he managed to say in response.

Ana's response was to lift the mug and and hold it behind Kirok's armored back, listening to the "pssh" of freshly-spurting blood as she cocked an eyeridge at Jil.

Min, for the most part, had chosen not to speak. This was a more personal conversation than she was comfortable in intruding upon - as much as she enjoyed the drell's company (despite herself, at times), she certainly couldn't attest to the same kind of history as the rest of the Band. A connection in her brain - the circuit between two little instruments in the box in her head, rather - reminded her of Noveria. Her cell.

The conversation moved on, and Shirin disappeared, as surely and as inexplicably as her arrival. Leadership. A dangerous question. And she couldn't imagine who, exactly, among the others that remained would be well-equipped enough to take on the rol--

"...wait, geth?"

No one told her about a geth.

"That's just Kirr-kirr's way of saying 'quarian,' kiddo," Ana replied, a simpering smile on her face. "He sometimes forgets the difference."

If anyone still needed a reason not to vote her Class President, there it was.

Oh, keelah. Zhang Mei hadn't known about the geth, and here Jil was talking about 'Ensemble' and 'he' in the third person and all that fun stuff that clearly indicates that there's another person involved. Amateur mistake, and one that not-coincidentally happened almost the second Shirin left... and then Ana came up with what would have been a perfectly reasonable explanation, if he hadn't already blabbed about 'conditions' and 'relaying orders'.

Please inform Zhang Mei of my existence. A certain degree of trust is required if this group is to continue functioning.

You sure? She might buy Ana's story.

(She wasn't going to buy Ana's story.)

If she were likely to accept Analina's fabrication, she would not be here.

...that was a good point. Even Kirok wouldn't buy Ana's story, and Zhang Mei was definitely smarter than Kirok.

"Uh, no, Ana, but thanks," Jil muttered, "might as well fill her in."

Turning to face Zhang Mei, Jil'Korah took a moment to think about how best to present this new information.

"Okay, sooooooo... You know I'm a really good technician? And a good hacker? Well only about half of that is actually me. Which is still more than enough to leave most people in the dust, but y'know, honesty and all. I have a suitrider, he chose the name 'Ensemble' after we'd assembled 'The Band' which I guess is geth humor, and we're in constant communication. He was actually one of the first ones installed at the end of the Evening War - I got blown out into space in the battle above Rannoch, a geth ship picked me up and installed him to help keep me alive while I recovered. Pretty simple stuff, obvious ending is he and I decided we worked well together and here we are."