[Citadel, Eighth Street Temple] Finding our Religion

"I don't think I could kick you out, I've started too many fights myself." She tilted her head back. "I understand. I think."

"I miss...all the weird things we do when we don't have to worry about aliens. Drell! We never label anything!" She laughed again, then sighed. "You will come to my protest, right?"

"Yeah I will, grifter's honor and all that."

a beat passed

"wait you started more fights in the temple... awesome."

"It made me look so stupid." She covered her eyes. "Like, this guy who likes to call people tentacle suckers found out that Irdanu and I had broken up, and he went on this long spiel, this long spiel about how it was good to see young drell repenting of their wicked ways and what a shame it was that others didn't follow a good example when it presented itself-in front of me, and this guy who's married to a hanar. Who has adopted two kids with his hanar. Who is not going to break up with said hanar, he's just going to quit Temple and not come back."

Her eyes rolled up to the celling. The next words were spoken without the slightest hint of actual remorse. "Still, I should not have punched him."

"Punching him was the right thing to do..." Hadas said with a crooked smile.

"Yeah, so satisfying. But it hardly makes me the kind of person you'd trust to teach martial arts to your kids." She sighed, leaning forward.

"I want to be a good person. I want repay Arashu for saving me. I want to make my parents proud of me. I want Rabbas to talk to me again, and I want it now."

Hadas ran a finger along her cheekbone and under her chin then softly lifted it so she could look straight into his face.

"Kay, you're a good person, you always were and I'm pretty sure you'll always will be. When we had our disagreement about your occupation... I was annoyed because I knew you were good and I couldn't get why a good person would do these things." There was a sad smile on his face as he leaned in.

"Your parents are proud of you I know that for sure, they're proud because you stood up for cause you knew was right even if others laughed at you, they're proud of you for your sense of commitment. They are proud of you because you didn't take the easy way out and let others fight the battles. They are proud because of how you turned out, sure you made some mistakes but who hasn't but it's how you handled it that's important and I'm sure they're proud of that. And as sure that I know they're proud of you I'm also sure you will keep making them proud."

He smirked, "Honestly I even think they're proud that you kicked the ass of that bigot. I don't know about Rabbas though, never met the guy but... I'm sure in time he'll come around. In the meantime you're going to be busy getting me presentable enough for him."

She blinked furiously, trying to clear the tears away, and laughed. "Stop being so nice, you're just making it worse."

Kayana was still laughing and half-crying as she threw an arm around him, hugging him close. "I mean it..."

And it was just then, with them a scales-width apart, that the priest behind them cleared his throat.

"Hello, Kayana." The moss green drell had the thickest South Kahje accent that Hadas had ever heard, almost adding a whole syllable to Kay's name. (Kai-yan-ya). He stood with his hands clasped behind his back and looked somewhat amused. "Kayana and..."

Hadas glanced towards the unknown man, then on seeing the priest he straightened up, "The name is Hadas sir. I'm a friend of Kay's ... trying to cheer her up, with some success I might add."

Kay had told him to be nice so he was trying to be nice he swallowed his pride, "sorry that we were ... I mean that I was a bid loud.... won't happen again."

"Kayana has spoken about you."

Kayana wanted to hide underneath a folding chair.

"The young man who recently returned from a pilgrimage? We are always looking for young men with passion."

"Has she now? I hope it wasn't all bad." Hadas said, he hopefully did Kayana a small favor by not looking at her and furthering her embarrassment.

"But yeah, I have returned from completing the ember path. I needed the focus, it gave me that it also gave much to ponder now that I've returned. Have you been to Rakhana?"

"Actually most of it was complimentary."

This was a polite lie: while Kayana had said some nice things, she had also instructed the priest to never give Hadas money. "Focus is a noble thing. What lessons do you ponder?"

"Not yet. Perhaps in a few years, when my last child is out of the house." He didn't seem embarrassed. "I served with the Primacy military for 20 years, we were hunters of pirates, and I was the unofficial chaplain to the Polytheist, those few of us there were."

"She's too kind." he looked at Kay and smiled, "the questions are mostly of a personal nature; what I should do with my life, how can I best contribute... I... hadn't really thought about these things before my pilgrimage. I was selfish and shortsighted, still am in many respects but I can see that now, and intend to better myself, not by words but deeds."

He placed his hands behind his back, "I'm also still trying to process the culture-shock I received..." he closed both eyelids, "before I went I would see this temple and accept it as what it is. The best we can do with the means at our disposal... but since I returned from Rakhana I also see it as how low we have fallen." He opened his outer lids and looked at the priest, "it angers me, not the compromises we had to make two-hundred years ago to survive but the ones we keep making now."

He sighed slightly, "it doesn't serve anyone if we keep playing small, if we're just satisfied with the best we can do."

"I don't blame you for your priorities or your life." he said coldly, his hand was in a fist and then relaxed, being on your best behavior could be very stressful.

Kayana placed a hand on Hadas' back, very calm. She was going to kill Hadas, but she didn't want to escalate things now.

But the priest smiled, not in the least bit concerned about the approval of a teenage con artist. "To live without compromise is a noble goal. Since I am married, I will never achieve it."

"There may be some merit in your words, but just as I am proud to serve the gods, I am also proud to serve those who worship here. These drell who have fought reapers and survived them. I would not have come if I did not believe they had glories ahead of them." He nodded slightly. "You are, of course, welcome to join us in achieving them."

"Compromise is not bad, it's how a society, a couple or any community can survive, but" he took a deep breath, "I'm sorry to say I believe you and your fellows have compromised enough." There it was out there, Kay could kill him now, but until then he would continue, "I've read the latest edition of the scripture that the Head Temple released, and what I noticed was entire verse, and sections missing from them. Someone who didn't know any better might think from reading it that we never sacrificed blood, our own or that of our enemies to the gods. That we never held the feasts of life, or any of that."

He shook his head, "and I've also read what the rational was for this censorship, which came down to 'not wanting to shock any-one'. It's one thing to limit how you show your devotion; it's another to just... Wipe away the past to better fit!"

"And what are you going to do about it?" He raised a brow.

"I can't speak for all Kahje." He tilted his head back. "But I didn't believe their rationale. One of the great problems facing the drell is that we think there must be something terribly wrong with us, in particular, for us to have failed so badly, though I've never found two drell who agreed on what it was."

"So we obfuscate and look outward, as if uplifts and the beneficiaries of Prothean largesse could tell us how to make sense of it."

"And speaking of Prothean largesse, Kayana, I want every protest flyer and petition that does not directly relate to the congregation off our bulletin board. Now."

"What am I going to do about it?" Hadas had heard that question before, he asked it to himself, "well I don't know yet, I'm hardly 17 so I'm still busy just getting the facts straight," he looks around, "which is a valid excuse, because we know if you go just off blind without a idea you'll probably end-up being seen as the new DLF or worse."

He crossed his arms, "what's your excuse mister 20 years in the Primacy military, but never taking the time to even do a flyby of Rakhana? Some pilgrimages take hours ya'know and aren't more dangerous than being on a military ship. Hell you've got seventy year-olds doing the one day at the central temple thing, I'm pretty sure you and your family could squeeze that in."

He shook his head, "but no, instead it's easier to stand before a 17 year old who just got back from pilgrimage and still working on coming to terms with everything and ask him how he will contribute to fix the situation, just like it is easier for you to say 'I didn't believe their rationale' instead of just giving people the option to see the original texts."

He sighed for a second time.

"I don't have the answers, and maybe I won't even recognize them even if I see them but at least I'm sure I won't use my family or soothing but ultimately meaningless words as excuses to deny and shy away from them."

He was suddenly aware he was glowing red, a biotic corona surrounding him, he took a deep breath and stowed it away... "sorry about that, it can flare up when I'm passionate about something."

"If you would like to borrow from my library, Hadas," His voice was calm. 20 years in the Primacy military and he was not particulary concerned about his ability to remove Hadas from the temple if he needed to. "That is completely possible. But that is a different conversation, and one you should attempt later."

"I don't need your library, nor your condescendence priest, I know the words, I've seen the original texts, and know the differences between what was once written and what is written and thought now." his eyes flicked towards Kayana, "I'm in here to meet-up with Kayana, not start a spirited discussion let alone a fight, but..."

He looked straight into the priest eyes with the strength born out of pure conviction, "while you probably win the fight, I can't after all top 20 years military experience, You wouldn't stand a chance with the former, a person does learn far more at those temples than how to blindly obey the priests. The question therefore becomes will you show how weak your convictions really are by lashing out on the innocent, by imposing sanctions on Kayana for what I said or did or do you at least have enough integrity left, and leave her out of this?"

And he laughed.

"I have nothing against Kayana-as long as she doesn't bleed on the carpet or poster the wall with AI petitions. Nobody would see the flyer for her class."

Kayana mock saluted, still holding on to Hadas's shirt.

Hadas smirked, so that's how the priest wanted to play it... He tried a different approach, "you're an annoying man, you know that don't you. How do you expect me to impress her if you don't give a little leeway, I mean I already got roped to go to her demonstrations."