[Fashion] Phoenix Foundation spokesman denounces ‘Illusive’ logo brand

Phoenix Foundation spokesman denounces ‘Illusive’ logo brand

Gustav Hilarius, Alliance News Network

Amidst a smattering of interest-group protests, one official voice spoke out during this week’s launch of Visionary’s new ‘Illusive’ brand apparel. Randolph Grideaux, spokesman for the Phoenix Foundation for Cerberus Defectors and Ex-Cerberus Assets, vehemently denounced the Illusive line in a prepared statement Monday. “No matter the intent, any kind of statement that could be construed as glorifying Cerberus is dangerous and morally wrong,” said Grideaux, who served as a high-ranking operative prior to his defection from Cerberus. “There are millions of victims barely cold in the grave, and already Visionary’s seeking to profit off them. We can’t forget what happened, least of all by being flippant about it.”

At the moment, the Illusive line consists entirely of male human apparel, all of it branded with a monochrome headshot that supposedly depicts the ‘Illusive Man’, ostensible leader of the original Cerberus organization until its dissolution in 2187. (At least four similar organizations calling themselves 'Cerberus' have since displayed a presence on the extranet, although it is currently unclear whether they are doing so ironically.) Sales figures suggest the line is most popular with men between the ages of seventeen and twenty-eight with a smaller following among the asari demographic. Over six hundred images are currently hosted on I Just Blue Myself, the popular asari image macro site, depicting its users wearing Illusive clothing and holoshopped into popular Cerberus-related memetic pictures such as This Is Humanity and Skeleton With Magic Sword.

Visionary was undeterred by the Phoenix Foundation’s condemnation. “We’re very sorry that Mr. Grideaux feels we aren’t giving his employers the respect they deserve,” replied Visionary spokesman Idril Selon. “Unfortunately for him, the only way Cerberus and their kind deserve to live on is as punchlines, and considering the sales figures, the public agrees with us. Then again, Randy’s been in the extreme minority of public opinion before. I’m sure he can handle it.”

Oh, the Phoenix Foundation. What a bunch of [Redacted].

Pheonix Foundation, those are responsible for the cerberus biotics some N7s had in their units during the war.
I know they have been pardoned, but I expected that project they came from would have been disbanded by know.
Does anyone know what their current "mission" is?

With that sentiment I wholeheartedly agree!

You people are bloody lucky you haven't all been strung up for treason. Be thankful for the Alliance uniform so many of you wear, and for the fact that SATAE is a regime friendly to criminals- it is the only thing that has saved you thus far from the people's justice.

I hate Illusive clothing. I do. I usually love political shirts, but no. These ones are not clever. They do not put you out there as believing in something, they just show that you are capable of being snide.

Fucking hipsters these days.

Not the only thing. If the Alliance still had it out of for us, the last brand of justice I'd expect to be captured by would be the People's Federation. After all, while there is certain pleasurable irony in being punished by your fellow criminal, your incompetence would just make it unfeasible. Sorry.

The supreme irony is in any Cerberus-affiliate informing others of their incompetence. Your spiritual predecessor on these boards- Thanatos the Magic Sword Boy, I believe his name was? - could have written a treatise on it. We, on the other hand, accomplished with nothing more than what humanity's self-anointed "finest" could with all the embezzled resources at their disposal. I wouldn't rate your former organization on the same plane of capability as the government of Swaziland. It would be no great difficulty in disposing of the remnants were they not coddled so close to the Alliance's bosom.

Nope.

Also loving the fact that that jackass Thanatos has ended up as an extranet meme. I might just get one of those t-shirts.

For someone so elusive he still has been photographed and identified as TIM. Guess that tells you all you need to know about Cerberus' headman

You know, I'd love to get into a shouting match over individual brands of incompetence (Corruption, bloody crackdowns, still thinking Mao is relevant vs mass indoctrination, abuse of power, betrayal) but it played out in my mind and well, you get the drift.

If I'm perfectly honest, I wasn't even really one of the guys who separated from Cerberus en masse once people figured out was going on. I was just stuck on Earth for the duration and likely would have volunteered for the implanations, because I believed in the cause. Now, in the aftermath of history, I can see that I was misled. On paper, the idea isn't so bad, defending humanity, and doing our best to become a primary power in the galaxy.

Of course, paper didn't match reality, as events have proven. So, any flak you throw at me or the others, go right ahead. I'll just do what I can in the meantime.

I can guess well enough: all prognostications end in your inevitable bloody defeat, which explains your reluctance to continue. I, on the other hand, shall endeavor to go through the motions anyway because I am not merely content with your stupidity being exposed in just one thread.

Contrary to your attempt at false equivalence, an objective measure of competence does exist. It is called "success" and Cerberus has always enjoyed conspicuously little of it. As for Mao's relevance- whatever socio-economic theories of his that have been discredited, the facts of human history speak to every successful guerrilla movement of the past century and a half having operated on principles codified by him. Perhaps if Cerberus had paid more attention to them, instead of farting about with their swords and fancy codenames, they might have tasted some success instead of none. Do you think Jack Harper, the man and his ideas, will still be remembered two centuries from now? They will not, because he- or more accurately, you, his underlings- failed.


And there is the ultimate conceit. "Doing our best to become a primary power?" Since when did humanity require a bunch of sword-slinging clowns to achieve that? We either are a power or aren't; whether or not we are realized as one is a different matter. No amount of agitation will turn a species that doesn't have the requisite ingredients into a power of any kind. Population, economics- these are the determinants. Humanity on that basis alone had everything it already needed, with or without your intervention. In fact accelerating what would have been a natural progression into that status anyway is what caused most of our prewar problems. We overextended ourselves and incurred unnecessary ire that might have been avoided with a more cautious approach. All because of people like you with your pathological need to be recognized as a "primary power." Why, are you that lacking in other areas? You say the idea on paper isn't so bad- it's not. It's downright idiotic and unnecessary, another example of the shortsightedness, insecurity and hysteria that gave Cerberus its raison d'être and motivated so many to join its ranks.

"Doing our best to become a primary power"- the sheer arrogance one needs to convince themselves of their ability to effect this. We would have arrived at that point, Cerberus or not. Thanks to their actions in the war we were very nearly denied it, to say nothing of almost becoming extinct. You people weren't just morally repugnant- you're redundant. A postal worker has more use to the species.

I will say this much- whatever the wisdom of having come out to denounce the commercialization of Cerberus imagery, in doing so the Phoenix Foundation has demonstrated a good deal more remorse and moral fortitude than all of our resident ex-Cerberus members and a few of our Alliance ones, who have thus far shown themselves to be completely devoid of either. The fact that there were actually attempts to resuscitate the organization here, while its ideals continue to be exalted by aforementioned individuals, should be a good indication of how contrite they really are.

This is a deficiency shared by SATAE at large, since it, of course, is the reason why these delightful personalities are still walking around free among us while their victims roam the galaxy as hungry ghosts, forever denied justice. Amazingly no one has any problem with this, even to the extent of greeting these people as old friends- such is the character of the new humanity the Alliance is building.

Oh my God stop sucking your own dick you communist buffoon, you're like a more elegant magic sword guy. Seriously, you just replied to yourself, what the fuck.

You know, maybe there would be a market in selling flaming Thanatos swords. Replicas, of course. That guy was certainly a comedic asshole.

You know what? I completely agree. The fact that SATAE hasn't even established an Amnesty Review Tribunal or the like is one of the biggest gripes I have about it. And it's not just Cerberus types who were given amnesties, of course. I served with war criminals, DD's and people who were just plain scum. Ex-Cerberus types shouldn't expect or receive any leniency, given their organisation's role in the war.

...I'd argue that the real impediment isn't so much SATAE's fault as a combination of realpolitik and an overtly-strict adherence to the old rule of law.

Speaking as a Reconstruction Corper, the last thing Earth and the colonies need is a guerilla army of disaffected terrorists with a grudge against the Alliance. For the near future, I guess it's better to keep an eye on them until we've resolved the 'separatist problem' and are in a position to seize them all in one fell swoop.

As for the 'letter of the law' argument, well, I can't say I'm too impressed. We're defaulting on our creditors, why shouldn't we default on wartime amnesty agreements?

Perhaps there is hope for the Alliance yet.


Good and well- but fails to take into account the linkages between the two. They cannot be treated with separately; in this case, the separatist problem is in some measure feeding directly off dissatisfaction with the way SATAE has sheltered Cerberus defectors and other criminals. Although ancillary to the major grievances like the suspension of civil liberties and reconstruction allocations, it supplies those opposing SATAE an extremely powerful moral argument with which to convince others. I think priorities have been woefully misplaced in this matter- most of the Cerberus defectors are accounted for, under close scrutiny, and can be picked up at any time, whereas the chance of anti-Alliance sentiment spiraling out of control if ignored is an immediate threat and will be more difficult to rein in once unleashed. Personally, I would take my chances with the small number of disaffected terrorists than the large disaffected mass of colonists.


I wouldn't call it a default so much as poetic justice- consider how these Cerberus defectors originally came to be on our side, after all. He who lives by the sword...


The conversation tends to be one-sided when one finds himself the sole voice of conscience in the room,

Goddamn, Gong. You keep flapping your teeth like that and something's going to fly in and mess up your dinner. Damn. Spit out the dictionary already.

Look, this whole Cerberus/Illusive t-shirt thing is tasteless. No other way to say it. Cerberus wasn't a freedom-fighting organization, they were a bunch of fuckheads who helped kill the galaxy and wanted us to thank them for it. Anyone who empathizes with them, stylizes them, idolizes them, or just plain old says 'well, they had some good ideas' is either fooling themselves or should be kicked hard in the balls by a krogan wearing a concrete boot.

And before you ask, there's already been ten stands in the market selling cheap batarian or salarian knockoffs - both "Ilusive" and "Illusie" brands, from what I can see. Man, those sweatshops work fast.