Fears and Expectations

That something bad will happen to my remaining friends and family. Because I didn't see it coming, or because I wasn't able to warn them in a way that they'd listen to. What else is there to be afraid of?

Of course it affects my life. I'd probably be more peaceful if I wasn't scared. I end up like, raging at people if I think they're ignoring my advice. I'm scared to ever have kids because I know they could die.

My expectations? I have no idea what to expect. That I'll survive everything that they throw at me?

The Viy Tora (which my father got me interested in, the philosophy as well as the fighting style) teaches that trying to form expectations of the future generally only results in narrowing one's perspective on the present. Rather, the manuscript advises its reader to be aware of herself, and the world around her, in the present - that being something that can be known with a useful degree of certainty, unlike the unpredictable future, and in turn that knowledge is likely to be the best tool available to us to make best use of whatever said future throws at us.

I've always found it a persuasive argument. I suppose I form expectations in the day-to-day sense as much as anyone else, but looking at the broader picture, I try to focus more on hopes and goals, things I can work towards.

As for fears... well, the possibility of the giant murderbots having their mechanical brains once more throw out whatever loose cog the Crucible jammed back where it was supposed to be to begin with (I don't know anything more than anyone else with no security classification about the whole thing, but that theory strikes me as plausible) and coming back at us to finish the job notwithstanding, I don't lead a life that's especially prone to fear. I live on a civilised, well-guarded world, my life and work occur entirely in the civilian sector, I'm not really the type to 'make enemies' or so on, and if I seem the carefree optimist, it's not because I don't know the value of prudence. So I don't live in any specific fear. I have my moments of doubt and worry - the thought of losing a loved one, for instance - but anyone would; it's not something that plagues me unreasonably.

Something I fear, though, would be that I might one day, through some unforeseen circumstance, find myself in a situation where I could have prevented something awful, some tragedy - take your pick of hypotheticals - and didn't. I don't consider myself a coward, but in terms of 'everyday heroes', I'm nobody special. I like to think, if someone were trapped in a burning building say, I'd try to save them, but I'm not the kind of person who'll run into the flames even if they don't hear a cry, just to be sure. I've wound up, by chance, in a few tight scrapes over the centuries, and struggled through with no major regrets, but any situation like that - for someone like me, a regular civilian type - is something unknowable, until it's over and you can look back. I'd be very deeply troubled if, looking back on such an incident, I had hesitated or shied away when I should have done something to help. That possibility is something that's often a factor in my thoughts, when it comes to mind, which is what the original question seems to be getting at.

On to the effect those may have had on my livelihood - nothing surprising, I think. I wouldn't even go so far as to say greatly influential, I haven't been driven by a fear, or steered by some powerful expectation, in a way that I think has manoeuvred my life in a direction I wouldn't have gone otherwise. Being concerned at how I might react in a crisis tends to make me form contingency plans - nothing elaborate, just basic common-sense options - so that I'll have those to fall back on if worst comes to worst, rather than having to completely act on instinct. And similarly, the way I look to the future leads to seeing the value of education and taking prudent precautions, which are both things anyone in the sex industry ought to put great stock in.

It would appear that being buried alive is a common fear, as is darkness. In these cases, are you residing planet-side or in an environment in which soil is present?

This is not for purposes of "kidnapping" you into a "warehouse" filled with your fears. It is merely an attempt at observation and understanding.

Am I the only one starting to get concerned over this guy asking us what we're most afraid of?

I am also interested in your expectations in life and how you attain them.

Fear is a common and unifying factor. It is nothing to be afraid of, forgiving the pun.

Yeah...it's a little creapy. But he seems totally friendly.

I have a deep seated fear of pale drell on the extranet with cryptic yet unsettling sideblurbs compiling information on me.

I blame my mother.

Define "creepy" as it means to you, personally.

Screwing reapers.
DEAD reapers.

Huh...

I see.

My deepest fears are hot naked chicks, being presented with cold, free beer and suitcases full of money. Man, it would just be the worst day if all of those happened at once. I really hope I haven't tempted fate.

I would probably die of fear.

Thats a very common one. I also have that.

I have a crippling fear of being asked unnervingly personal questions by shady drell information brokers on the extranet... so I think I'll pass on this one.

well i'm afraid of zombies

you know the living dead

as i got older i did some thinking about it and think that maybe zombies represent everyone i killed in the war and now kind of feel both bad about killing them and hurting their families and also scared about the thing in me that made me able to kill them, if that makes any sense

and from another point of view there are so many real things to be afraid of in a war, and of course in a war you don't have time to freak out and be scared of stuff or you die, so, by being afraid of something imaginary, it lets me direct my fear towards something i will never actually have to deal with and express that fear while in real life i go ahead and get the job done

i mean, i shot an awful lot of husks last year

which are totally different from zombies

Najhil agrees. Hopes and Fears are a bit too personal for Najhil.

It used to be combat until the Reapers came.

Now it's fire.

Due to the weaponized beams they used, I presume.

I don't think it's possible to not be afraid of zombies.

I'm not afraid of zombies, and I'm not just saying that - they've been overused in fiction for so long that they're more annoying than anything else. I am afraid of husks, but husks are real.

Zombies are like husks, only they eat people. If you were the only living person in the galaxy (because everyone else is a zombie) wouldn't you be afraid? I know it's not possible, and not worth having nightmares over, but in a hypothetical zombie scenario, I'd be afraid.

Of course, husks are twenty times scarier. In the war... Well...

Thing is, the classical zombie outbreak doesn't make sense in a technologically advanced society unless the zombies have tech of their own backing them up. In fact, I think they were pretty much dead (no pun intended) as a horror archetype until humans showed up. The zombie story today is an artificially reanimated genre that should have died long ago (again, no pun intended). It's hard for me to find that scary.