[Technology] Neurotex Announces Mental Uploading Service for Pets

Neurotex Announces Mental Uploading Service for Pets

Illya T’lonak, Nos Astra Business Weekly

Neurotex Biotechnical announced that it would begin offering digital personality uploading to pet owners starting next month. “Few things bring a family more joy than the company of a beloved pet,” said Neurotex spokesperson Daia Velifex. “But the short lifespans of our four-legged friends brings tragedy with it. But what if our moxies, dogs, and neru didn’t have to die? Neurotex Biotechnical has the solution: uploading.” Under this new program, pet owners would be able to take sick or injured pets to the nearest participating veterinarian, where the animal’s neural connections would be scanned and digitized. The pet owners would then be provided with a complex VI simulation of their pet, which they could interact with via hologram or download into a suitable mech. “The virtual pet retains every aspect of its personality and doesn’t realize that anything has changed,” continued Velifex. “You can enjoy its company for as long as you like. Best of all, it won’t even need a litterbox.”

Neurotex’s future plans include downloading the pet’s VI into another animal. “We’ve been able to clone pets for ages, but the duplicates have never truly been the same. That is about to change. With Neurotex uploads, you’ll be sure that Fidex II is exactly like Fidex I. You’ll be able to keep the same pets forever.”

The new service has already been endorsed by several Nos Astra celebrities and media personalities. “Oh, I cannot wait to try this on my Lilo!” said Strange Bondmates star Liara Solaqin. “I’ve been so worried that she’s getting sick, and while the vets all said she’s doing fine, the said that about Tita and she DIED! But now that won’t ever have to happen again.”

Not everyone was so excited by the news, however.. Dr. Linia Nieli, Professor of Biology at the University of Serrice Nos Varda, criticized the ethics of the new procedure. “Despite Neurotex’s claims to the contrary, it is impossible to know how the uploaded animals will perceive their new state of being. The entire procedure could be horribly traumatic. Then there is the fate of the original animal – is it to be discarded once its owners have a ‘new and improved’ version? Not to mention this ridiculous talk of re-downloading into a cloned animal; either you would be dumping the virtual mind into the body of an infant clone, which would be psychologically scarring to the old ‘animal,’ or you would replace the mind of an adult clone, which would just be another way of killing it. Either option would unquestionably be a form of animal abuse.”

Genetidigm’s Hyat Kolus was more critical about the technological viability of the process. “Mental uploading is an expensive and poorly understood science. Even emulating basal brain processes, as in the case of UNAS President Huerta, is barely within our current capacity for cognitive computing, and it is certainly not financially viable. Anyone stupid enough to bring their pet in for such a process is likely to get nothing more than a crudely programmed virtual intelligence and a dead animal.”

Despite concerns from scientists, Neurotex’s stock rose 27 points after the announcement.