The Official Private Messages Thread.

Spammed to pretty much all of CDN

Hey all you fuckers:

I'm sitting at the bar of the Moon and Knight in Tayseri if anyone wants a piece of me (you're welcome to try!)

PM to Juhani
Spirits I ain't turnin' down food right now. Sandwich woulda been good if someone hadn't spilled dishwashing soap all over it.

Yeah, sure, come on by. But I do got some credits, so I'm buyin' my own ale.

Sundowner77 wrote:

PM from Jil'Korah vas DasegarWhy would I want a piece of you? Who are you? Why are random turians threatening me?!

Private message to user Sundowner77 Rest assured madam, I do not want any piece of you; I have suspicions of your personal hygiene.

Private Message to User: Sundowner77What the fuck did I do to you!? Did I bang your sister or some shit? Look I don't care what she's told you, I was a perfect fucking gentleman. Even gave her cab fare.

RE: Sundowner77Were you, like, that one crazy dude shouting YOU DON'T KNOW ME at the metro the other day?

Look, I'm sorry for pretending I didn't see you.

Sundowner77 wrote:

OFFICIAL RESPONSE OF JOHN SACKPRESIDENT DO NOT STEAL Friend Sickleave:

While I dub myself a most vehement aficionado of the Moon Knight's lantern jaw and hell of decapitations, let us detoxify the air around us and unveil some well-meaning facts. First of all, recapitating someone is a most rigid quest and I do not wish to undertake it.

Secondly, I am both in a (tempestuous) relationship and not particularly piqued to partake in pieces of the plated p...variety. Please still your loins, my grizzled and slightly stained jewel of the eastern whatshisface, and try to put a most cast-iron lid upon your disappointment. Also you should not proposition hell of dudes on the extranet, that is how batarian ladies get placed into work-relief Khar'shan immigration programs.

Yes, it is a dismay, but life will go on, and you must carry on, my sojourning sayyadina, for there will be a most premium naptime once all is disseminated and brought to the natural way of conclusions. So place your bird-shaped skull upon the pillow and chill your pill, and furthermore do not engage in any weeping and gnashing of teeth pursuant to this discussion.

Sincerely,
Mega Holovid Superstar John Sackpresident

PM to Jil'Korah vas Dasegar

Heh, newby. Sorry buddy, guess I don't mean you. I'm just drunk and want a fight.

Unless you, you know, want to take a crack at the board terrorist.

"Message to Sundowner77" Wow, did you know you can just forward things to C-Sec?

Private message to user: Sundowner77...godfuckingdamnit, this is Barry again isn't it?
If I find more cacti in my desk drawers I swear I'm calling security.

I get that you're pissed off about that whole thing with the rubber spider and the karaoke machine at the work night out, but I've told you over and over, it wasn't my idea!

PM to User: Sundowner77Okay...First, I don't know you at all, and second, I have no quarrel with you for whatever reason you sent this, and I'd rather not know why. Thank you.

-Raeta

PM to SicariaSica,

You're drunk, aren't you? I can't come to pick you up and take you home, and I'm not sure if anyone else out there is willing. Don't be stupid, you can't afford to be. Think of Kythera, if nothing else.

She's doing well, and Laelix loves her to death. I'm sure she'd like to see you, but if you're busy spamming the entire extranet threats that's not likely to happen.

Take care of yourself.

Love,
Harrad.

Spammed to pretty much all of CDN

Hey all you fuckers:

I'm sitting at the bar of the Moon and Knight in Tayseri if anyone wants a piece of me (you're welcome to try!)

PM to Sundowner77nah im good

[Pictured: Dwick, biting into a paper photo of Keros Mehedra]

PM to Harrad

I can't be drunk on three ales.

I'm just lonely is all. I'll...I'll try to come by in the next couple days to see Kythera.

...can I be drunk on three ales?

PM to Sundowner77Dear Sundowner77,

This is an automatic email acknowledging the receipt of your communication by the office of Janet Proctor, MEP for London South and Surrey East. Thank you for submitting your INQUIRY/SUPPORTIVE EMAIL/DEATH THREAT. We are afraid that Ms Proctor receives far too many INQUIRIES/SUPPORTIVE EMAILS/DEATH THREATS to respond to each of them individually. Nonetheless, I appreciate the effort you have undertaken to get involved.

If this is an INQUIRY, please await the next scheduled surgery in your constituency.
If this is a SUPPORTIVE EMAIL, thank you for your support; a complimentary gift basket should be on its way to you.*
If this is a DEATH THREAT, please fill out Form 51(a) on our constituency website; a retaliatory parcel bomb should be on its way to you.†
If this is the Fraud Squad, Ms Proctor has never heard of United Catron Corporation (defunct) and had no direct involvement in the day-to-day operations of SKC Corporation (defunct); all further enquiries must be referred to Carter-Ruck solicitors.

Thank you for taking the time to contact us.

With regards,

Janice Amelia Proctor
MEP for London South and Surrey East


*Not a legal guarantee.
†Ibid.

"Re: Fight" To Mrs. Bello,

Madam, if you wish to engage in honourable combat, then I will oblige you gladly, however, I wish to inquire as to the terms of our duel and what, precisely, I have done to offend you?

Sincerely,

Commander Davril Wilde.

"Reply to User: Sundowner 77"How did you even get this address? And what part of ten year exploration mission is so difficult to understand! I can't even get porn out here, fuck drinks and a fight or whatever the fuck it is you want.

"Private Message to Natalie King"

Natalie.

Talked it over with the SO today, we're both seriously considering having a kid, despite my reservations for it- I'm terrified.
But I know if we decide to go down this route I can do this. I don't know if we're going to have our own or adopt, but we've still got more to talk about. I've got books to read and alot of other things to get sorted out, and I don't know if it's good for my ca-


Fuck. I'm typing out my mental ramblings.

I'll talk to you soon.

Sarah

PM to Sarah ThompsonHey Sarah

Having a kid was one of my better choices. However it is tough-you're raising another person. But ultimately I've been finding it worth it. Being in the military is something you need to take into account, even if your deployments should be pretty stable and accompanied in your vocation. (You won't be bounced from ship to ship like I was when I was in Fleet.)

It's not something to be decided lightly. Read the books, talk to Chris about how you're feeling.

-Nat

"Reply to Sundowner77"

FLAK NO FIGHT STOPIDS!!!