[Entertainment] Naked Asari Matriarch Causes Chaos at Intersection

Naked Asari Matriarch Causes Chaos at Intersection

Erolyn, SANVESS - An elderly asari was arrested after leaving her residence nude, walking into traffic, and overthrowing every vehicle in a ten-yard radius.

Aunitha T’Rovisan, 1182, has been a Matriarch for the past four centuries. Once a formidable biotic commander, time has quietly been taking its toll on her, as she has been shrinking out of the political eye for the past 32 years. Since the end of the Reaper War, she has been taking up residence in an assisted living home. This changed, however, in a matter of minutes last night.

“I don’t understand how she did it,” said 216-year-old Sheen Lohersweil, who has been caring for the old Matriarch since she arrived at the home. “For the past week, she’s been meditating quietly in her room, and she’s required assistance for moving from room to room for quite some time. How she managed to undress is beyond me, let alone leaving.”

The Matriarch’s outburst has caused several thousand credits’ worth of damage, not including the hospitalization of three asari with cracked ribs and head injuries. She was subdued after two huntresses were deployed, incapacitating the woman through their combined biotics. She is being treated for her injuries at an undisclosed location.

Damn. Tits, man.

Weaponize that shit, blues. Full-on official and stuff, I mean.

We won't mind.