[IEN Presents] Bliss Festival 2188

There's so much good erotic literature out there. The chore is just to dig through the heaps of dreadful smut to reach it. A book club would be great, pooling first hand info (heh... well) on books and all. I'd be in if you want to start something!

I have a few pretty sweet pre-Citadel books myself I should give you to read someday.

Contradiction re: redundancies.

Parsing.

Comment made by User: Taleeze is in reference to masturbation. Localized context indicates that said reference was made as part of a humorous statement.

On the objective scale of Relative Comedy as quantified by the Pan-Mannovaian College of the Performing Arts [where ten is equivalent to the final round of the 2180 Annual Tayseri Improvisation Tourney; where one is equivalent to fully developed and untreated unipolar depression as defined by the most recent edition of the Galactic Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders] the statement referenced met three out of the five criterion necessary to receive a classification of two point one seven five.

explaining a pun scores you a zero, Maniple.

DAY TWELVE

Three days to go folks, and no sign of slowing down. Today it’s Illium’s turn to put on a party, with the Las-O Arena transformed into a showcase of all the luxury and allure Nos Astra has to offer. Three of the planet’s brightest names in adult venues - Black Gaze, the Dusk Oasis, and the Azure Temple - have combined to create an Illian pleasure mega-centre, with dawn-to-dusk live shows, fine dining, impeccable surroundings, and hosts and hostesses from all three to keep all guests fully entertained.

And to top it all off, if you thought last night’s Biotic Bad Boys show was the hottest a live performance could be, think again! They’re chiselled. They’re toned. They move with a purpose, and if you’re lucky enough to score a ticket, you’ll be dreaming that that purpose is you. Appearing live, in their only show off Dekuuna this year, they’re the Malvuon Mountains, and they will rock your world in an exclusive six-hour strip show. The stage has been reinforced to accommodate all twenty members of the group at once, but nobody’s said anything about reinforcing the barriers keeping the audience from rushing them, so let’s just hope the crowds can keep themselves in check!

This is Sally Silken, reporting from Bliss Festival for IEN.

Phew! Busy day, those of you I know personally will hear all about it later (depending on what sort of details you want to hear, of course - but an event this big, there's something for everyone on the spectrum from 'amusing anecdote' to 'you won't believe this'). Anyone else catch the big show? Damn those boys can own a stage. I'm not ashamed to say I'm fuschia with envy for the lucky backup dancers they get to help out when they do mixed-species shows.

Also, long shot but you never know: has anyone seen a mech that looks kind of like a geth, only feminine and with... anatomical qualities geth normally don't have... anywhere? The 'stunt' model of Myria - our 'geth queen' - went missing from a storage facility overnight, and by all accounts it's got everyone baffled. A very definitely sealed storage area, so it's not just a case of an over-zealous fan (like that geth warrior that went missing from the original film publicity event), not unless it's an over-zealous fan who's also a master thief, and I mean legendary ability. And they're going to be disappointed, it's not the 'hero' model with working... well you know. Top theory is that a keeper got in and took 'her', but Gary's sure (don't ask me why) that it was some real geth borrowing her so they can upgrade her to self-awareness. Not sure where he got the idea that geth would be interested in that sort of thing. Anyway, keep a look out? Thanks.

wait wut?

someone stole a fem-geth sexbot that actually isn't a sexbot and you think either a keeper or a geth took it?
i am so happy that i'm on Omega, a safe and sane place in comparison.

DAY THIRTEEN

The penultimate day of Bliss has arrived, and with it the event all our hopefuls have been waiting for: the grand final of the Bliss Festival Amateur Striptease Championship. And what a show it’s set to be! Twenty-four lucky contestants remain, but only one will be crowned Bliss Champion. To get there, this year’s paragon of passion will have to survive fierce competition through three rounds today. First, a five-minute solo show, with music, choreography and costumes of their own choosing. Twelve will survive to go on to the seven-minute doubles round, where each will be partnered up with a professional striptease performer drawn from the finest talent in the galaxy. With each contender drawing on all that talent and experience to prepare their couples routine it’ll be a tough call for our judges, but they’ll step up and tell us who the final six will be. And then you, folks, will decide the winner: every audience member in T’Kelu Concert Hall will be eligible to vote, as they watch the finalists’ four-minute routines, with none other than Sajila Nemre overseeing the show, and High Lands providing live musical accompaniment. One will be crowned, people - choose wisely.

And as if that weren’t enough, in between shows it’s the perfect time to indulge in some last-minute shopping, as the traditional Bliss Bargains appear in the final day of shopping in the merchandise arenas. Bliss is the home of the best adult products in the galaxy, and nobody wants to pack up their stall with stock unsold, so get in now for those last-minute deals.

This is Sally Silken, reporting from Bliss Festival for IEN.

This is going to be exciting. And I can finally let people know, I got selected to be one of the professionals working with the competitors in the semi-final! Act number seven, Destiny True, from Earth - I only just got told, I'm watching her in the earlier competition now, I like what I see. Not that I'm trying to influence the voting or anything, but I'm sure she'd like to take her shot at the championship all the way, and I'd definitely like to dance today, so let's all hope she gets through the initial round and into the doubles, right? Right. :)

Gary thinks the geth took her. The keeper theory... honestly I have no clue what they'd want with the thing, but you know what they're like for being able to just stroll in and out of highly-secure areas as they please. After the last geth went missing they put this one under heavy security...

Right!:)

Now it's clear why I wasn't listed as judge beyond semis! She's very good and I have no doubt she goes through.
If I would have known you were listed in the pairings I would have tried to get in there as well. Another dance-off, a little revenge after that pildavi bet thing:P

I am rooting for DT and DT'N :)

Vote for the batarian

DAY FOURTEEN

Well folks, here we are at the end of fourteen days, and what a fortnight it’s been! We’ve had galactic premieres, we’ve had exclusive live acts, we’ve had the hottest stars from Thessia, Palaven, Tuchanka, Kahje, Earth, Illium, Rannoch, Omega, Dekuuna, and so many, many more, we’ve had thrills, we’ve had excitement, we’ve learned and shared and been joyful from morning to unconscionably late at night... And now it’s time for Bliss Festival 2188 to draw to a close.

But don’t pack your bags just yet, because this is a last day to remember. You, folks, not the stars but you, are the reason we’re all here, and today, all the guests and performers and artists you love are here once more to say thank you, with dawn-to-late live shows, absolutely free. That’s right, there will be no charge for entry to any Bliss event operating today. Just show your omni-tool for age qualification only and you can see all the glamour, the sensuality, the fun and the energy of fifteen stages worth of live performances without paying a single credit. And as if that wasn’t enough, the Illian Stars will take to the big stage at last for their traditional third and final show of the festival, entitled simply ‘Gratitude’. This will be the final event, including appearances (some of them very alluring appearances) by festival organisers and special guests, and again, all one hundred per cent free to attend.

This is Sally Silken, reporting from Bliss Festival 2188, the first of the new galactic era. A big thanks to all involved in the festival for putting on such an amazing show, and to IEN for sending us here to bring the greatest show in the galaxy back to the galaxy. Until next year, folks, be safe, be happy, and be loved!

Hahaha! I love it. Elcor at this event is just so absurd to my little brain and I just can't stop laughing whenever I think about it! Same with the hanar!

That sound you're hearing are the residents of that Ward celebrating not having to worry about running into asari in fucking bondage gear when they go out to get groceries.

Or on their morning jogs, as in my case.

Aaaand, that's another year of Bliss come and gone. Big thank yous to everyone who came by the various events and whatnot I managed to talk my way into - it's back to Illium for us (and various other parts of the galaxy for everyone else), but we're only a few relays away, and everyone will be back next year.

(Those of you who've been bunkered down elsewhere in Tayseri waiting for us all to go away, you can come out now.)

Ha, I didn't even realise that. Well, Destiny made it to the doubles round, and then to the final six - she's a great talent on stage, and had a lot to contribute when we were coming up with our doubles routine too. Fourth overall in the final vote count, which I think is very respectable given the tough field, and I got a message from her this morning saying she's been offered a spot at the Secret Garden club on Zakera. Congratulations of course to all the other finalists - Caste Aside, I heard, has got the attention of Heat Galactic, which is awesome. And (I only found this out today - didn't get the chance to speak to her during the contest, but one of Eafina's minions evidently did) Dreamer Lightning, who placed fifth, is a Nos Astra local, and will be performing at Apricity starting next month. :)

Take it from someone who's worked closely with both, the only 'laughter' going on is the giddy-with-delight sort. I believe Mountor's catalogue of work is available on ExtranetPlayground's site now - take a peek at one of the free previews, just for education's sake. (Same goes for Copulates As Would A Virtuoso.)

So it's over now. Time went so fast.

We've had some fun times, I'm sorry I couldn't catch you after the reading, Daia, but it was great to meet you in person finally the other day. Safe travels back home!

This is actually very true, at Leaving the Duct we shared a celebratory tea this morning. There are still some sleazbags running around Tayseri, but in a week's time it'll be like our ward never attracted the creepiest individuals of C-Space.
I have nothing against the artists themselves, but they do have the creepiest fanbase this side of the adult "My Little Moxie" slash fanfictions fans.

Yeah and those names are great too (or terrifying in MOUNTOR's case) lol!

Now that the festival's over, my sister-in-law says she plans on visiting with my nephew. She said she wanted to, but, well, it's hard to explain the Bliss Festival to an eight year old. I really think fifteen days was dragging it on for a festival like this, but this is the same station that had a week-long festival for cheese.

Honestly, it's a relief that this is over. I was sick of not being able to walk down the street without bumping into someone wearing a bizzare outfit. And that was on the backstreets too. There was a lot of foot traffic on some of the bigger streets. Worst part? They would fucking amble around like a geriatric funeral procession who did not have anywhere to be.

To be fair, I have no proof that they were here for the festival; just that they were slow and annoying.