[Nos Astra, Illium] Say Something

((Closed thread.))

"Hey, love."

Now that it came to it, Daia felt... 'nervous' wasn't the right word, really. Off-balance. For all her own soul-searching, and Matriarch Mirala's counsel, she knew this wasn't a topic she was prepared for.

But it was something she had to do - she and Ana both. Once upon a time being bonded to an escort had been, if not a non-issue, at least a non-starter in the crowded race of thoughts that made up two people's lives. That Daia shared her body with clients - and held genuine affection for them, too - was something she and Ana had put in its proper place in their relationship, and it had contently remained there. That had changed.

Ana hadn't said anything directly, but the signs were there, and Daia felt guilty for taking so long to see them - but, she reminded herself, she didn't want to make this about guilt, or blame, or who could take the krogan's share of the burden onto their shoulders to prove how committed they were. Or whether Daia could deluge her bondmate with enough optimism to steer her into believing everything would be okay, she reminded herself. She did believe everything would be okay, ultimately - but she knew that sort of thing took work, and this, now, was the work they faced.

Better get to it, then. It had been a routine day, she and Ana in their respective offices - Daia flitting back and forth between them whenever it wasn't interrupting anything, as she liked to do - and there had been no big conferences, no morning or afternoon ships at the Oasis this particular day, no early start or late night to tire either of them.

So when Ana appeared from the connecting office door, and they took the quick trip in the direct lift up to the penthouse - a little tradition, on the occasions when they were both finishing work at the same time - Daia gestured towards the lounge area, with a murmured "couch?", once they entered their home.

"There's something on my mind," she explained, holding Ana's hand. "Has been a while, but... It hasn't been the easiest thing to get my thoughts in order. If you don't mind indulging my rambling for a bit?"

She made light of it, but she knew her anxiety was showing in her voice. Off-balance. Odd, she had never worried about losing her balance dancing - it just meant you'd fall over, and every dancer did that sometimes. She just had to remember a misstep wasn't the end, and get back up and keep going.

Ana'Therion was a bundle of nervous energy, one big enough to rival her bondmate, and likewise had something she wanted to talk about. Odd how things tended to turn out that way.

Granted, it was completely different. Having been through a week of paperwork, conferencing, and making sure Cerastes was paid, Ana had finally managed to get a date for the procedure she'd wanted. It wasn't perfect, of course, and came with a number of concerns; not the least of which was that she had spent virtually all of her life savings on it, and had only managed to pay off the information broker and give herself a briefly livable stipend by borrowing against some out-of-cluster property she owned. And telling Daia that she'd exhausted her personal funds just for an operation at an extremely shady clinic, one that wouldn't even give her back her sight, was not something she could envision possibly going well, despite the potential benefits to her (and therefore their) life.

So it was that, as they entered the penthouse together, Ana saw her opportunity. "I actually have some news that--" she was in the middle of saying, and then, with considerable relief, she gave way to the asari: "Uh, but you go first. That's only fair, you brought it up first."

Still, as they moved to the couch, she found herself perhaps regretting that relief a bit. Something was off. Daia was clearly troubled, that much was obvious. In fact, it was impossible not to notice it; Ana was well-acquainted with her bondmate's eternal cheer, and the absence of it, let alone the light tremble in her voice, was enough to let the quarian catch on.

Her nervousness vanished, replaced with concern. Settling down on the sofa, she motioned to the cushion next to her, and then, when Daia sat, enveloped her in a hug. No barrage of questions, just a reassurance and an offer to cool down a little.

"Love?" she asked, gently holding the asari. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing terrible," Daia replied softly. She allowed the hug without hesitation, grateful for the reassurance. Without moving out of Ana's hold she shifted her body around, resting comfortably in her arms.

"I'm... worried about how it feels for you, when I go off to be an escort," she said, after a moment in which she let Ana's kindness help settle her thoughts, then continued quickly: "This isn't me trying to bring this up just to optimism-bomb it into submission, I know I've done that in the past. I want to... I want us to talk."

She lifted a hand to tenderly stroke the outline of Ana's faceplate, the hard edges of the chin frame.

"I'm not imagining it, am I?" she asked quietly - she had to ask, but she was sure enough. "You're not comfortable the way you used to be, with me seeing clients?" That was a hell of a question, she knew - Ana knew full well she was no it's-only-work escort, who switched off her feelings and did what the job demanded, and the implications of answering it could be far reaching. Daia hoped her manner - more composed, frankly, than she had thought she would be - would be some reassurance that she wouldn't overreact, even to the answer she feared was coming.

Ah. Well, she had to expect this was coming sooner or later. It was probably for the best; skirting around it for so long as part of why Ana was as unhappy as she'd been. Sitting down and having a conversation about it, like mature adults, was really what she should've opted for in the first place.

"...Not really, no," she confessed, shoulders slumping a little. "Listen, it's not your fault, Daia. It's nothing you did, nothing's changed about you. I mean, after all, it's the arrangement we've had since the beginning. It's just..." The quarian sighed. She had really hoped she'd never have to have this conversation, but then, thinking that was really kind of naive and harmful, wasn't it? "Daia, I'm not gonna lie here, I feel sort of worthless. It's like you're having to get all your satisfaction from work, being as I can't really do anything anymore."

She shifted uncomfortably. The sooner they got all this out, the better. Just had to keep going.

"And so, I mean, that's...I kinda resent that. You know? I don't really resent you, just myself." A pause, and the quarian shivered miserably. "Okay. That was a lie. Sometimes I'm...jealous. You know? That you can still enjoy yourself and I can't. It's not rational, and it's...I really feel ashamed about it, which makes things worse, but there it is. I really should be grateful that I'm alive at all, but I guess one effect of this whole thing has been that I learned I'm a petty, shallow, spiteful person that apparently can't be content with just your happiness."

The side of her head drooped against Daia's shoulder. "This whole last year...this whole thing hasn't been fair to you at all. I'm sorry about all of it, love. I should've said something sooner, but I was worried that you'd feel guilty or try to give up your job or...I don't know."

"Hasn't been fair to either of us," Daia said quietly, kissing Ana's faceplate on the 'forehead'. "And you're not the only one who could've spoken up sooner. I... It's something I've known for centuries, that if I was going to be truly in love, and not leave work behind - well," she gave a little chuckle, her voice trembling slightly, but not breaking, "even in a big galaxy, you start to feel the odds stacking up. So, when you find someone who can love you for who you are - I don't mean never a pang of jealousy, I mean at all - you feel very fortunate."

She smiled, and gave Ana another kiss, before sighing and settling against her, the hug Ana had first extended to her now entirely mutual. Holding onto each other against whatever might lurk in the dark.

"I let myself hold onto that," she admitted, "long after I should have recognised things had changed. It wasn't even that I was afraid that bringing it into the open would mean this, us, would be... over. You never let me fear that," she said, her voice warming, before she went on. "But I... You offered me this piece of life as it was before, before the war, all this. It was comfortable to think... nothing had changed, in this sense, anyway. I'm sorry I did that. Allowed myself to be comfortable with something that I... I knew, was hurting you."

She wove her fingers between Ana's and held their hands together in her lap.

"But here we are," she said quietly. "We should've had this talk a long time ago, but we're having it now, and the galaxy's not ending." She glanced out the window at the lights of Nos Astra. "Pretty sure we're safe on that, twice in the space of a local year would just be silly."

She took a breath, steadying herself. The specifics of Ana's unhappiness had shaken her, but on some level she had known it already, and if knowing and staying silent until now shamed her, at least it also let her hear what was said without disintegrating.

"So, where we stand," she said. "You mentioned giving up my job. I know why that'd be a... problematic option, for you - for us both, the thought of asking that much. We both know what it is to have a calling in life, and leave it behind." She embraced Ana a little more tightly - the loss of her chosen career was well in the past, but would never be easy to reflect upon. "I know this is difficult, love, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make this your choice, alone - it's ours, together. Is my leaving the Oasis an option? Not leaving it for you, leaving it for us. Would that be a step in the right direction, or would it really make things more difficult?"

"I'd really rather not consider it, if that's okay."

Daia was right; as far as they could tell, the world had not spontaneously ended in the last few minute. Apparently this long-overdue conversation wasn't nearly as bad as they'd mutually expected. Ana felt a little more ashamed - not just from the circumstances at hand, but from having totally failed to communicate properly in their relationship.

"I'm not going to take you away from your life's passion," she said firmly. It'd always been difficult, acknowledging that considering Daia's lifespan and the long-term perspectives that came naturally to asari, she'd always be sort of secondary to the career. There would be other lovers, probably other bondmates, long after she was in the grave, but Daia only had one life to spend on following her interests, and to take that away from her, even for a while... "There's been a lot of insecurity and, well, selfishness on my part. It...kinda sucks admitting that, but there we are. Anyway, that's part of why we're here, and if I do that to you now, it'll continue that cycle. It won't actually solve the problem, you know? We'll just both be miserable."

Ana shifted in place, tugging the asari up onto her lap. It wasn't the most comfortable way to go, being as Daia was somewhat bigger than she was - usually, they were the other way around - but Daia clearly needed some reassurance at the moment. Poor thing, she'd probably never had to do this before. In fact, they hadn't had a whole lot of Very Serious Married People Talks: the 'lifespan conversation', of course, some stuff on finances, a quick discussion on boundaries towards the very beginning of their relationship...that was it, really. It usually hadn't been necessary.

"Listen, what happened to me...I wouldn't wish that on anybody, least of all the asari I love. I'm not putting you through that, no matter what. This whole thing's stemmed from me being, well, bitter about a lot of things. Jealous. Resentful. If I destroyed your happiness because of that, I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

She squeezed one of Daia's hands, as gently as possible.

"Actually, I was going to wait until we were finished talking to bring up that thing I mentioned, but, well, as it turns out, it's relevant to our conversation. Um...that dermal regen procedure I was looking at getting. I did some aggressive shopping, and I found a place with some availabilities and a somewhat more affordable rate than the top-of-the-line ones. And as a result, I'm looking at getting it done very soon."

Hopefully it wouldn't seem like as much of a desperation move as it'd actually been.

"Okay."

Daia's voice was gentle, and didn't conceal any sense of victory - only gratitude, which she let show without a second thought. Perhaps she could have talked Ana round, but what she had said was true, and while it was within her to give up her career, she could never have convinced Ana to accept so great a sacrifice. Much as she longed to give her bondmate peace of mind by one simple action, there was no give in Ana's voice as she made her decision and stated her reasons. She couldn't put Ana first by refusing Ana permission to do the same for her when she truly wanted to.

She let Ana manoeuvre her into her lap, taking to the position surprisingly well; besides having not the slightest objection to being comforted, one of the array of minor talents she had developed professionally was how to position herself and rest her weight so as to be comfortable on virtually any lap she found herself sat on.

"Really?" she asked, as Ana outlined her revised treatment plan. She had been involved in their looking at options and planning of finances - and done some solo research on her own - but even their optimistic estimates had entailed a long wait. "Where abouts, local, offworld? How'd you find- Sorry," she stopped herself, with a wry chuckle. "I'm just... surprised. Delighted, even." The joy was seeping into her voice as she spoke, and the reality sunk in.

"The clinic's up to it?" she asked - no real doubt in her tone, Ana was diligent about her health, but the procedure was major enough that she had to ask, if only to hear it said. "We've got the home recuperation period covered, that's for certain, I'm sure we've got an environmental systems company tucked away somewhere."

She laughed lightly, then let out a sigh and smiled.

"You know," she said, squeezing Ana's hand in return, "I don't want to get ahead of ourselves, but afterwards... This could be a big help." She traced Ana's fingers with her own - not too suggestively (whatever the future held - even if it was suddenly a brighter, nearer future - she had no desire to get Ana worked up in a way that she couldn't act on now), but the idea was there. "I love you in so many ways - so many kinds of happiness that nobody else can give me, not the way you do - but, if we get back to... frequent reminders of the more, well, immediate ways..." She let her fingers fold around Ana's hand again. "Do you think? I don't want to sound superficial, but..." She let the sentence trail off, not quite sure how to put her thoughts into words. She firmly believed that, as the old saying went, it was what was inside that counted - but she couldn't really pretend she didn't think the physical realm could have an enormous influence on the more rarefied goings-on of the soul.

Well, here was the sticking point. Did she continue to be truthful, at the risk of making Daia worry, or fall back into the habit of...

...you know what, it wasn't even a question.

"It's a little sketchy," Ana admitted, truthfully. "Basically a tissue farm, in fact, based out of the Omega Nebula. With that said, I had Cerastes look into it - he's the one who compiled the list of options for me based on my price range - and it's technically legit. No major incidents, it's just that it's criminal-sponsored, which doesn't really bother me, and historically has some questionable means of getting its parts...which also doesn't bother me, since I'm not getting a transplant or anything. Honestly, it's nothing to worry about. And if it was, I'd tell you, because if there's one thing the past year's been consistently showing me, it's that ignoring this kind of thing and hoping it'll go away never works."

Ana interlaced her fingers with the asari's, resting her head on Daia's shoulder. She was a little more tired than usual today, but even that was tinged with a certain optimism. Once the procedure was done, there'd be less pain, which meant less painkillers, which meant less fatigue. Small favors, here and there. Also, she could afford to be a little grateful for the exhaustion because it meant she couldn't get quite as worked up about the implications of Daia's next suggestion.

"That's, uh..."

A blush burned in her cheeks. It was good-natured embarrassment, at least.

"That's why I'm getting it, yeah." She buried her faceplate in the asari's shoulder, barely suppressing a nervous laugh. "Daia, I'm not gonna lie. This is killing me. I have needs, and melding can't fulfill them. Beyond that, I have a responsibility to you, as your bondmate, and seeing you have to turn elsewhere for it makes me feel pretty worthless. It's miserable. It has to end. So even if it takes..." Okay, there was honesty and then there was too much information, so 'basically all of my credits' was not an acceptable way to end that phrase. "Uh, even if it takes drastic measures, I'm prepared to do what I have to in order to get us back to where we were."

Under the faceplate, she smiled. Hopefully it was audible in her voice.

"Plus you know nobody caters to you quite like me."

"Oh, I know it, love," Daia grinned; she had heard Ana's smile, and her own was unmistakable in return. She settled restfully in Ana's arms - partly to remind her own body not to get too worked up, as the prospect of resuming intimate relations and all that entailed ran through her mind - and tilted her head to rest against the helmet on her shoulder.

"If you're alright with the clinic, then okay," she mused. "I doubt Cerastes would've missed anything. I, uh," she chuckled, "the morning after he was here, I did a little research on him - Goddess, now I feel like a jealous spouse, snooping on your friends." She laughed and shook her head, but lightly, so as not to dislodge Ana from where she was. "More curiosity, really - you've seen how he comes across on the forum, all taciturn enigma." Her 'research' - which consisted of not much more than a few calls to old friends who were in a position to know who was who in the information business - had revealed virtually nothing about the man himself, which no doubt he had taken pains to ensure would be the case, even against far more determined and capable investigators, but she was quite satisfied as to his professional credentials.

And, tallying with some other offhand extranet comments he had made, that he was a dangerous man. But while Daia was extremely undangerous herself, she had known dangerous men and women before - enough to know that only a handful, best avoided, were always dangerous to everyone they encountered. She had no basis on which to assess him as a person, but the implied endorsement of Ana's friendship was enough for her.

"Actually, speaking of," she added, "next time you speak with him, apologise for me for interrupting that night? He seemed like he wasn't expecting company - I wouldn't want him to feel unwelcome here on my account. I sent him a little message the next morning, just a 'nice to meet you', but you know how it is, that sort of thing from a virtual stranger can come off like a rote courtesy."

She gave a little one-sided shrug, again, not shifting the shoulder Ana was leaning on, and gazed out at the darkening night sky. It was shaping up to be a clear night - without cloud cover, the controlled wavelengths of Nos Astra's light didn't scatter excessively, and the faint hue of the Crescent Nebula belt was showing behind the glimmering stars.

"You know I'm going with you, right? That's a given." Her tone was cheerful, not chastising. "The Belle's got all that fancy envirotech we put in, and it's been ages since I flew anything." She giggled at a thought. "Sasha could use a chance to stretch her legs." Apart from being lent to Eafina on a couple of occasions for short trips here and there, their ship had been rather idle since the end of the war and the blockade, seeing more use as a promotional asset - like the penthouse, she was technically a showroom, in her case for the company's ship-based hardware - than a transport.

"Cerastes? Oh, no. He's...kind of socially retarded, that's all it was. I don't think he'd perceive you as a threat or anything, don't worry."

It was meant playfully. Really, it was. After all, she was a little better disposed towards the drell, considering he'd helped her out with this particular venture.

"I'm sure he likes you as much as he likes anyone."

That...might've been a little more serious. He was clearly attracted to her, and Ana wondered, not for the first time, if giving him preferred-client status at the Oasis had really been a better choice than going into debt with the Illium loan sharks. It certainly wasn't something she was going to bring up with Daia unless asked about it - honesty and 'too much information' were not, after all, synonymous, and even though the asari had seemed more than happy to continue sleeping around as part of her job, there was no guarantee she'd feel the same way about Ana extending the occasional favor.

Speaking of which, she had some more apologies to make.

"Look, about all this...I really should've said something sooner," she confessed. "I was worried about shaking things up, so to speak, ruining the arrangement you had. But in hesitating, I let things become kind of toxic. If I'd just been up front about the problem, we could have just worked through it normally and wouldn't have gotten to the point where I felt like I had to..." Ana coughed, and then very quickly rushed through the next part. "...uh, spend most of my credits to remove it altogether but I digress of course you can come with me. I'm not really familiar with the place, and considering where it is I'm not totally sure how comfortable you'll be, but I know you'd be more worried if I tried to go it alone." She squeezed Daia's hand gently.

"Besides, trying to go it alone was how we ended up here in the first place. Once bitten, twice shy."

"Who does perceive me as a threat?" Daia giggled. "Well, so long as I'm not scaring him off. I wouldn't mind getting to know him a little... so long as it wouldn't be awkward. I'm fine with giving him space when he's around here, if that'd be more comfortable."

She relaxed in Ana's arms, mentally consigning The Mystery of the Pale Drell in the Night to be sorted out in its own time; Ana's apology pushed the matter from her mind entirely.

"Twice shy," she mused, nodding - omitting to mention certain occasions where biting hadn't resulted in shyness at all. "Lesson learned for both of us. It's not all on you to speak up, next time - Goddess forbid anything else this dire happen, of course - I won't stew in my worries so long, and need to consult with a Matriarch to get my thoughts in order. Uh, which, I kind of did, a few days ago," she admitted, caught between amusement - in hindsight - at her own haphazard path to simply having this conversation, and apprehension that Ana would feel awkward at their personal concerns having been shared. "Totally confidentially, of course. But I digress?" With luck Ana would let her off the hook on that one.

"Still," she resumed, "it's an ill current brings no bounty - however we stumbled into it, you're getting your treatment, that's what matters. We're in decent shape, financially - little bit above projection for the quarter." That was as close as she would come right now to reminding Ana that she had their combined savings, not just her own personal stock, to draw on if need be; she was sensitive about the notion of relying on 'Daia's' funds, understandably, and there was no need to make a point of it.

"I'll be fine coming along," she added. "I don't know about comfort, but the clinic can't be that bad. And heck, what isn't 'criminal sponsored' out there?" She chuckled. "I'll just wear something sensible - must have something in the wardrobe somewhere - and keep out of people's way."

A matriarch? Well, you could definitely find a worse source of counsel out there.

"It's all good," Ana said reassuringly, squeezing Daia again. "If we're confessing things, I had to talk to somebody about it first to figure out what I was going to do - again, confidentially." She chuckled weakly. There was a touch of nerves in the noise that she couldn't quite conceal. "I was just scared, I guess. I already drag you down enough as it is, I didn't want to bring this up and cause more problems. Which was...short sighted."

Silence hung over them for a few minutes, during which the quarian contented herself with letting her hands explore a little. It wasn't intended pruriently - as Daia had correctly observed, getting particularly worked up at the moment was just asking for (physically painful) disappointment - but with her sight gone and most of her senses dulled heavily by the suit, Ana found it increasingly difficult to construct a realistic mental image of her surroundings, and refreshing herself on their shapes and contoours always helped. It was odd how quickly her sense of reality had started to fluctuate. Barely a year and a half, and already her mental images of everything around her were...exaggerated, for lack of a better word. Stylized, colorful, almost cartoonish renditions of what they'd actually looked like back when she could see them.

She hadn't forgotten Daia, at least. Painstakingly familiar as she was with every inch of the asari, Ana'Therion was determined not to forget anything about her bondmate. The parts that really mattered - not the perks, but the reasons she loved Daia - weren't dependent on sight, at least. Small favors.

"Probably for the best if you try to look inconspicuous," she finally agreed. "You're, uh...very memorable, normally. And I don't really know any muscle on Omega anymore, so I think we're technically going without any kind of escort, unless you have any contacts. So yeah. Low key is the way to go."

Another pause went by.

"...Okay, I can't feel my toes. I was trying to comfort you and all, but I think this is why we're usually switched - you're slightly bigger than I am, not that that's much of an accomplishment. Can we shift?"

Daia shared Ana's chuckle at their (as it turned out) mutual advice-seeking. She wondered who Ana's confidant had been - she was close enough to Eafina and Skylar that Daia could imagine her bringing up the matter with either. Then again, both were her own friends as well; neither would have spoken to her behind Ana's back, but she could imagine Ana not wanting to put them in that position to begin with. She had made the same choice herself, after all. Vale? She and Ana got on well, but so far as Daia was aware they hadn't socialised a great deal outside of work - besides, odd though the thought of having 'subordinates' still was to her (probably always would be, she had concluded some time ago), Vale ultimately worked for her, Ana would almost certainly have ruled her out on the same grounds as 'Fina and Skylar, just professionally rather than personally. Cerastes? she wondered. She hadn't pried excessively for details about the two of them, but if Ana thought him close enough to share her worried with... then again, she wasn't the type to call someone 'friend' without meaning it.

"Well," she mused, putting the idle speculation aside, "next time we've got a bottle of something open," bottle for her, canister for Ana, but it was a shorthand they had come to use, "we'll have to have a toast to wise friends."

She responded to Ana's touch, but with warmth rather than fire - after a few such gentle explorations (so far as they went; Ana was careful never to appear to be teasing her) in relaxed moments, Daia had guessed what it was her hands were seeking, and was more than happy to oblige. They would have been in worse shape, she thought, if not for moments like this. Sex - beyond melding - had escaped them, but the touches sustained, in its way, the physical connection between them regardless. It was a precious gift.

"I can do inconspicuous," she agreed. Her office suits wouldn't really do - the brand-recognition benefits to the company of her 'sexy CEO' persona were enough that her businesswear wardrobe was still more eye-catching than most, but she had a handful of simple, practical outfits. She wondered idly if Prenv would be available to walk them to and fro wherever they needed to go - a small-goods importer was a far cry from a professional bodyguard, but he was a local, with all the tiny clues that told opportunistic assailants looking for easy marks among transients to steer clear. And he was krogan, on top of that.

"Hm? Oh! Sorry," Daia exclaimed, dragged out of her musing. "Yeah, of course..." A biotic field surrounded her, shedding effective weight - not dramatically, but enough to make it far easier for her, sprawled as she was, to remove herself from Ana's lap with a minimum of clambering and discomfort all around.

"Consider me very comforted, love," she purred, letting her mass-gravity relationship settle back to its usual self once Ana's legs were in the clear. She glanced at her bondmate's thighs, which had born the brunt of the cuddle, and gave them a warm pat.

"Are you hungry, or do you think maybe there's time for a quick massage before dinner?" she wondered. The suit muted her touch a little, but not so much that there was no benefit - physical, as well as psychological. The boots were another matter, but biotics were some help there. She chuckled. "My fault, after all - can't have your toes think I don't care for them."

"Nah, my legs are asleep. If anything, that'd probably hurt."

Stretching them out helped, at least. Ana twitched her legs from side to side, feeling the blood rush back into them. Augh. Not a great sensation, but better than the alternative, and in a few minutes she'd be able to stand up and walk without being all comically wobbly. She quietly resolved to be the top half of the cuddle equation next time.

"I was wondering," she said, testing to see if she could get up (and then failing, and plopping back onto the couch cushions), "if it'd be all right for me to start up at the Oasis again after a few weeks to recover. I mean, if you think Eafina'd have me back after all this. It's not like we parted on bad terms or anything, just...well, you know. The apocalypse and all that."

Although she wasn't quite as tired as usual, the quarian could feel the telltale throb of a headache coming on. Well, at least she wouldn't have to put up with these for much longer. Some of their problems would likely never be solved (she probably wouldn't, for example, ever get her eyes back), but life wasn't really about huge sweeping panaceas. It was like she told Taleeze, you had to take life one bite at a time. Little steps, like talking out this kind of issue, went a long way towards helping.

"I'll have to get in touch with her, I guess." Ana rose from the couch experimentally, and when she didn't wobble and fall over like a baby giraffe, decided it was safe to take a step or two. Although she was still on pins and needles, it was definitely a start.

She extended an arm to Daia.

"Dinner, then?"

"Another time," Daia conceded easily when Ana declined her offer; she had reached a similar conclusion regarding future cuddling, and had to stifle a giggle when the phrase 'Ana on top' occurred to her. Accordingly she 'caught' Ana with a measure of gravity when her attempt at standing didn't turn out so well - not so much as to be manhandling her (even with her suit sensors her mobility and physical acuity left something to be desired; Daia knew helping her, when unnecessary, would only rankle), but enough that her descent was more a return to a seated position than an undignified collapse. That she used to move as an excuse to get an arm around her shoulders, and torso nestled against her side, was a bonus.

"Really?" she said. "Of course, I'm sure she'd love to have you back. That'd be wonderful!" She gave Ana a squeeze - careful to avoid anywhere that may still have circulation returning - to emphasise her happiness. "That'll be great," she paraphrase-repeated herself, thinking ahead. "Wow... I know you've missed it - the job specifically, as well as obviously domination in general. It'll be, just..." She shook her head, smiling, then managed to rein in the elation in her voice to something more measured.

"She'll love to hear from you," she agreed, when Ana mentioned contacting Eafina. The two had remained on friendly terms, but she knew there had been a shift in their relationship compared to how it had used to be - for obvious reasons, not wanting to give painful reminders of the reasons for Ana's departure, Eafina tended to avoid the topic of work. Daia had shared some of their lunches and get-togethers; there had been plenty of other things to talk about, but there were some awkward pauses mixed in. Hopefully that would be a thing of the past soon, too.

Daia accepted Ana's arm and rose beside her.

"Dinner," she agreed. "But, first-"

She halted the two of them, and engulfed Ana in the warmest hug she knew how to give.

"I love you, my siame," she murmured happily. "More than the rest of the galaxy put together."

The prospect of returning to the Oasis was not unappealing in the slightest. Daia was correct that Ana'Therion had missed her old job quite a bit; it'd been both a healthy outlet for her aggression and remarkably enjoyable at points.

At the same time...

"Well, it's...it won't be the same, of course," the quarian admitted. She shifted from one leg to the other, partly from discomfort and partly from...well, discomfort, since feeling was returning to them. "Even being ambulatory, and having more energy than usual, there'll be a lot that I have to get used to, things that won't be like they were before. But hell, that's life."

Things were never going to be perfect; that much had always been obvious. When had they been, though? Ana knew that her current situation, steadily improving as it was, beat out what it could've been by miles. She wasn't particularly healthy, but that was getting better with time, and she had a stable home life, a secure job, the resources to get around all right despite her disability, and most importantly, Daia - whom she hugged tightly, a feeling of eminent gratitude welling up in her chest.

"I love you too," she answered. "Always. You kept me going through all of this. And I realize I haven't been the best bondmate, this past year, but I promise I'll make it up to you." Another quick squeeze, and then Ana released the asari and stepped back. "Starting with the procedure. I don't care what I have to spend - if we're happy, and things are working well, it's worth any cost."

Holding onto a hand, she minced towards the kitchen and led Daia along behind her.

"On that note, let's grab some paste and some...uh, not paste, for you. Traffic arrangements can wait until after dinner with my favorite person."

For the span of that evening, Ana'Therion was totally content. Her hope was that, in the future, that would be common enough to lose its noteworthiness.

Life was good.


end