Jeral Says Stuff: The Annual Annals of an Anal-Eloquent Frog.

First off, to get the linguistic issue out of the way:

Anal-Eloquent will hence-forth be defined as talking out of your butt, aka, blabbering on about stuff you are only semi-competent in.  And, yes, there will be a lot of that in this thread.



Sort of like this, but with less facial hair

So, hey everyone!  It's been a while.  I kind of disappeared there for a bit, but I'm finally back.  So, hey, hello, salutations, hugs all around, and yo.   Now, to business.

So, what is this thread?  For the next year, I'm going to be posting each day with a 500-word blurb about whatever random thoughts or events are tugging at my mind.  I'm also going to be doing my best not to edit or censor myself.  Just full, undiluted, Jeral.

The obvious question is, why?  

Well... I don't really know.  Partly I want to document who I am and how I change over a year.  I've come to realize that, no matter how sure or how certain a thing is, it can change in an instant.  Life is a chaotic mess.  So, I'm hoping to gain a bit of insight into me by forcing myself to do this everyday. 

Another reason is because I'm always wondering what life is like inside of other people's head.  Like, I'm fully convinced the universe I see and the universe others (for instance, someone like Pariah) see can't really be the same thing (yeah, I get that they actually ARE the same, but I mean on a philosophical and experiential level.  KEEP MOVING LITERALISTS.)   So, by not censoring myself and opening up this thing to comments I guess I hope to get a peek into what life as other people is like.

Lastly, it just sounds interesting.  Not everything needs an end goal.  Sometimes you set out on a journey without knowing whether it will be worth it or not. 

So, why should you care?  The answer:  I dunno, probably shouldn't.  It's more than a little narcissistic and self-involved to think that anyone should care about my random ramblings.  But, hey, if you feel like reading them, posting a reply and contributing to the discussion, or doing your own 500-word blurb, more power to ya.

Well, that's a bit it.  Imma going to get to posting

Whatever happened to things being "awesome"?

I mean, I get that part of it is growing up, but I remember when I was kid I would get so geeked out about stuff.  The first time I got to see a planet besides the one I grew up on, or my first view of microscopic life, stuff like that.  I remember being so elated and excited by these discoveries that I wouldn't just shut up.



Imagine this, but talking in a high pitch at about 500 words per second and going "ooooooooooooohhhhhh."

But, somewhere along the way, I kind of lost that.  And the funny thing is, I dont really remember when that happened.  Over the course of years, things my kid-self would have been amazed by now just pass by with little to no cares given.  And I guess, I just wonder, does it have to be like that?  

To be honest, I think the answer is no, it doesn't, but it's hard to avoid it.

After all, most species are creatures of habit.  Repetition and experience often increases skill and we repeat things because it helps us survive.  After all, our brains seem to crave routine, thriving in predictable patterns and rewarding us when we follow them.  So, maybe it's not suprising that eventually, we stop being amazed by things that surround us.  We quantify them and place them in their little box and allow them to become all part of the process.

What brought this up is I was watching  my best friend, Joe, while he slept the other day.  He has a habit of falling asleep in rather weird places, like sitting at the kitchen table.  The doctors use to be afraid it was from the head injure he got during the war, but it's always been a habit of his.  Dude can fall asleep anywhere.

Anyways, I was watching him sleep and it just hit me, the complexity of what was happening before my eyes. All the processes that his brain was just handling, the breathing, heart pumping, even keeping him balanced in his chair, all done automatically while he was zonked out.  And, a step further down, you have all these cells that, individually, are rather insignificant but together make the guy before me.  And the DNA behind that, the molecules behind that, the atoms behind that.  I don't know, isn't that something that is worthy of a sense of awe?

So, I kind of think that wonder is, like most everything else, a skill that one needs to train.  It takes effort to see the universe as a place of amazing discovery rather than a humdrum blur.  It's something that will probably be hard, but I think it might be worth it. 

Yeah.  That's about it for toady.  Let me know what you guys think. 

Why I make games.

So, if you know me or have payed any attention over the years to my postings, you probably know these two basic facts about me already. But, I case you somehow missed these facts, let me reiterate them here: I sometimes make holovid games and I grew up on a small agricultural colony named Nuvée. While these might seem like two independent facts about me, I think the latter actually informs the former.

It's... A bit weird to talk about, but my family is one of the more influential families on Nuvée. My mother is the Dalatrass in charge of the Bebel Farms, the largest producer of akan fur. For the non-salarians, its a really large, REALLY furry mammal that prefers to live in marshy lands, and it is disgusting. However, the fur is a luxury item used in certain circles for clothing, furniture, ect. Not exactly something necessary for everyday living, but very lucrative if you play your cards right.

The only problem was, I never really fit in with my family. For one thing, I kind of suck with animals. They have never liked me and, frankly, the feeling is mutual. And as far as my family goes... Well, they are a bit obsessed with "traditional salarian values", which is weird since for most salarains that would mean keeping up with the times. But, for my family, it's always been about preserving what they considered the best part of salarian culture. I guess it's a noble enough goal, but thinking that way has never been "me"

So, in the end, I spent a lot of my childhood by myself. I had friends and all that, but I preferred to be alone, off climbing trees and living in worlds only I could see. I would make up kingdoms and wars and entire histories as a kid. It was my way of escaping a life I didn't really fit into.

This kind of leads to the natural extension of me creating HV games. I wanted a way to express theae worlds, to give other people a way to escape, but I sucked at most forms of doing this. I couldn't write that well, I've never had a great talents for music, and my art has only ever been meh. Coding, however, was something I could do. Now, it took YEARS before I could start working on games of my own, but I found something I loved, and I kept at it until I could do it myself (with the help of some really good friends and a mentor of mine).

Yeah... It's not a very interesting story, but there it is. Something I wanted to throw out there for however wanted to read.

That's it for today, so I'll see you guys (you know, however actually reads this) tomorrow.

Goblin I reads it. Goblin I like reading thoughts and beginnings of Jeralfrog. Don't know what to say. Even after we help in war most peeple think all vorcha stupid, violent, pest. Goblin not stupid, not violent pest. Just want to learn. Jeralfrog share why he makes game. Maybe I share what makes Goblin, Goblin. No one want to read it maybe, but spirit of the thread is there.

My family owned by a doctorfrog. Was researching many things, many big words I do not know yet. But know he was looking at vorcha adaptability. Different environments different physical and mental stim..ulayshun. Most vorcha tend communicate with blows. vorcha adaptability in turn makes them strong, big, hard to hurt. Goblin kept away from that. Master had me help in house, help in lab. I was already small for vorcha. Maybe adaptation to the cages two generations were kept in, make me small so I have more room in cages? I don't know. Never kept in cage anyway except for sleepingtime. But then also not being beat on so hard or often as other vorcha keep me smaller? Read instead. Listen to Master, watch Master do science. But someone else not like Master and there was attack. Found way outside. Don't know what happen to Master, maybe he come back, find Goblin some day. Rather be outside, learning, not kicked so much.

So Gob I keep learning. Looking at new things. Being smart way to make vorcha whole race stronger. Better. Not just beating, shooting and eating faces. Those things fun, yes. But no... What did Master call it? Evolooshinary steps? No steps forward. Just same beating, shooting, eating faces. Never learn more, never do more. Stuck in cycle. Maybe I can start change. Vorcha life short I know.. Maybe not get whole step, but maybe start vorcha walking? That is a little about why Goblin is Goblin, and why I reads and learns.

Sorry for introoshun Jeralfrog. Can delete if no want vorchaposts here.