None of us know who we are anymore

It's insane. I want to know if I'm the only one, because this is starting to bother me, and I need to ask. I just saw the latest feeds from Sur'Kesh. I don't know if anyone here follows them. But the council is talking about some sort of "citizenship first" thing they've appropriated from the turians - some sort of public service morale-building curriculum for the young - and they want to try an adapted version in our education facilities on the outer colonies. They're trying to get the Dalatrasses to go through with it. They say it's to help us appreciate the mindsets of our alien partners, make integration and exchange easier and all that, but it's obvious that they want to...I don't know, to *politicize* these kids. And they seem to think the Dalatrasses should support it because enough people are clamouring for it, but they're only clamouring for it because that new leader on Farish Vey's been making a fuss about it! Whoever makes the loudest noise wins, you know, but who's telling them to make that noise? It isn't supposed to happen like that. It's like there aren't rules anymore, like something's missing. You can see it in every piece of news coming out of there. I mean, Farish Vey's been important because of the trade between the Union and the Hierarchy, in particular, and I really thought they'd have gotten a more influential clan entrenched there now. But the Capsatus are still running the place. It's like it's not even Union anymore, like they're just leaving them to run their own lives, and that's just not what my people do, you know?

I mean, I left. I left the Union because they kept trying to make my affairs *their* affairs. They meddle. Constantly. So why is this being allowed to happen?

Farlon was talking about citizenship just this morning, and I'm trying to work this through in my mind - he's turian, so it's a big thing to him. I was thinking that turian, salarian, human, they're all different. Citizenship is a concept that sort of embodies our innate, abstract sense of membership in a community, right, the expectations we place on ourselves and on others? It places it all in a more objective framework, a system of recognized responsibility in payment for being made to belong. Or something. Anyway, Farlon said that ideally it's a means of pursuing benefit to ourselves and contribution to the betterment of the rest of the group, with the former defined by the latter, 'cause he's turian, like I said. It all sort of tucks back in to servicing the group, like that's how they find their sense of pride, you know? But the thing is, we salarians never needed that, because we imprint. We know where our loyalties lie, we don't need too much on top of it. Does that make sense? I mean, I'm part of a clan. Technically. And that's a concept that builds on those social considerations, I think, like turian citizenship; it creates a system of responsibilities that define our getting to belong. But the problem is it's all too easy for us. The Dalatrasses expect it, and so don't have to work at it. Work at us. We just fall into it naturally. It's sort of like the drell and the Compact, we were talking about it here the other week. About it seeming like a mutual agreement on the surface, but there's the *expectation* in there, underneath, and that makes it less than honest? It's a bit like that. There's something rotten under there. The Union, it's so hollow. You know that old metaphor about a hypothetical religion that's in service to a god, but over time it becomes so draped in ritual and ceremony, and such, that the god just dies and no-one notices? Well that's what happened to me, you know? My loyalty to the clan. It died because there wasn't anything to sustain it, just the rituals and the expectations. Because it's just taken for granted, because it's natural. That's the salarian ugliness.

Now, Humans, though, humans don't imprint. They have to earn their influence, right? By promising, and manipulating, and changing things all the time. That's their ugliness. They don't control like salarians do, but they have other ways. They have to buy people's citizenship harder than turians or salarians, because they get voted up to power, right? So they're great at that sort of manipulative charisma, so people will pledge to them. Not out of loyalty and social virtue like turians, or biology like salarians, but because they tricked you, right?

I've said it before: salarians are really quite predictable when you get to know them. People think they aren't because they're innovative, because they're constantly trying new angles on things, but there's a real consistency to them. It's why they do all that innovating, why they're so obsessed with knowledge and discovery. It's all control. We imprint, you know that. I, er, keep saying it. And our memories are, not to put too fine a point on it, better than any of yours, except Capice or that doctor or the albino (where is he anyway? Did he die?). And so we just think we can handle everything. And that's why the clan leaders meddle, but now I see what's happening on Farish Vey, and I'm thinking - they're not controlling it. They're letting it happen. Why? And then I thought, it's because they're becoming more human. They are. They're trying human means of control now, because they've lost that innate influence, like they already did with me. You see that, right? I came here, among humans, to get away from the clan and now they're coming after me by turning the Union into something *like* the humans. I'll be one of them again, because they're shifting the Union to be like the place where I am now. Is this making sense? They're the humans now, and I'm going to die here and no-one will get the point because over there will be just like over here anyway!

And now I look at these people on Farish Vey. They keep talking about "rights" like it's shorthand for "something I’ve decided I want", oh, they're subtle about it, but it's there, and I'm looking and I see the humans over there. But human ugliness mixed with salarian ugliness. It's this democracy idea isn't it? But salarians imprint. They've combined the two. If it looks like the democracy people are winning, co-opt them. Most of those democracy types are just repeating what they've been told. They'll just do what salarians always do and go right back to doing what the dalatrasses want! That's why the Union's not trying to control Farish Vey, I think. The Capsatus are going to push through this citizenship thing, and they'll have the kids learning about loyalty to the Cause, but because they're salarians the Cause will be the clan, not the hierarchy. And the clan is the Dalatrass. You see? The democrats will win and get what they want, they won't even realize they've been led right into reaffirming the things they thought they were leaving. Because the Union isn't acting like salarians do. They're acting like humans. I know, I live among humans.

Does anyone else see this? Is it just me?

Welcome to radical politics. Here's your tinfoil hat and your bullhorn. Prepare to be ignored. :P

I don't know Salarians well enough to know if you're on to something. But you seem to be clinging pretty hard to an essentialist view of different species? And I don't want to deny the differences-turians do have a group instinct, humans can be really dominance-oriented, you guys are twitchy, blah blah blah.

But every species has had like 200 cultures. I don't know what you mean when you say people are acting 'like humans'. I know really intense, deliberately provocative independents and very restrained compactees, and one is not 'more drell' than the other (and when we act like one is, dear gods does the conversation get stupid). If I'm clanny and race-proud I am not 'acting like a turian'. And humans have both social and biological loyalties.

Of course people are trying to manipulate you. That's kind of a given. I just wonder if you're missing something here.

It's different though, for us. That imprinting thing isn't just a social construct we can choose to ignore; it's an almost ingrained, automatic response. It takes a lot of effort to ignore it, if one can do it at all. I left too, made my own way out of University, but if the clan ever called me back, particularly if Mother (to use the human phrasing here) did it in person, I'm not sure I'd be able to say no. No other species has an automatic, biological connection like that. At least, not right out of the starting gate.

I honestly haven't been keeping up with news from the home front. Too many other things to worry about, and I've done just fine on my own anyway. Out of sight, out of mind, and all that. But from what you're saying, it sounds like the Dalatress' are just trying out a different form of control. The leash takes a different color, changes the way it looks, but it's still a leash. Good, bad, or indifferent, I'm not really sure I'm qualified to judge. I can say that rule by popular opinion works, but only with certain mindsets and structures. Neither of which my species really has. Makes me worry a bit though. The other problem with rule by popular opinion is that it's vulnerable to both fracturing and over-centralization. Meaning, too many factions and nothing gets done, or a small number of very very large factions that most people don't really associate with but have to join anyway because it's the only way -to- get things done. Makes me worry a bit.

Goddess, I haven't thought about home in nearly nine years. Nine years! And now this comes out... I think I need a drink. Or several.