[Citadel] Conspiracy Theorists Baffled by Lack of Criminal Activity at Blood Drive

Conspiracy Theorists Baffled by Lack of Criminal Activity at Blood Drive

Conspiracy theorists across the galaxy were stunned yesterday when, despite rumors and disinformation campaigns insisting that there would be otherwise, no massive attacks or otherwise criminal activity occurred at the Citadel's Reaper War Memorial Blood Drives. There were no Sovereign Nation incursions, assaults by Reaper holdouts, riots, terrorist bombings, tainted blood conspiracies or Terminus-created nanoplagues deployed through disinfection swabs.

Indeed, what was meant to be a massive display of galactic solidarity, goodwill and intent to assist those crippled by the Reaper War and its aftermath ended up being a massive display of galactic solidarity, goodwill and intent to assist those crippled by the Reaper War and its aftermath.

Even groups maligned and suspected of planning attacks on the drive joined in. Individuals identifying themselves as members of Sovereign Nation came out en masse to donate blood at Citadel Space consulates, and the Hierophant's Children used the event as a last public meeting, donating blood en masse before publicly stating that they were ending their insurgent campaign against the Ad'Thoro Pact, taking advantage of an amnesty offer provided last week.

Senator Hannid Vadarat, a member of the Orozvhadi consulate on the Citadel, has called the drive a stunning success and claims that he looks forward to next year.

Told you people were making a big deal over nothing.

Glad to see this turned out a success.

...what?

I'm... well, it's good that this was peaceful, but I don't see the news anywhere here.

That's mighty suspicious, if you ask me.

Well this isn't worrying at all. You'd expect at least some squabble but that everything went five by five? Yeah sure.

Huh.

Contrary to precedent and probability, everything went without any sort of hitch?

Either someone messed up their timing, or everyone spontaneously decided to play the long-term PR game.

Yeah, still not having anything sharp inserted in me and having my blood drained thank you very much

They just haven't waited long enough.

You'd put Clan leaders to shame with that paranoia.

It's not paranoia if you're right.

"Nothing bad happened at blood drive"

Seriously, this is the level the news have dropped to? Ugh.

"yet"

Oooooh, ho ho ho. Trust me. Something's happened, folks. Read between the lines. Everything you need to know has already happened. You just won't find out about it for a while.

My advice? Check the equipment.

THE SPACE WIZARD HAS SPOKEN.

says the one that just traded a shitload of (more or less) sharp objects from a dubious source to the galaxy. Maybe you're an essential part of the game and don't know it.
Yet.

Conspiracy theories are newsworthy?