Memorandum from DDS Broadcasting

Dear faithful DDS subscribers -

Due to the sudden absence of our CEO and chief writer, Jorgal Dwick, DDS has been forced to adopt an alternate scheduling of programming to fill the massive void of his talent. As such, stay tuned to a whole new lineup of shows, designed to not only titillate, but educate!

This lineup of shows now includes:

* The Volus Financial Hour(s) - Har Morno and Cal Vindu discuss the latest financial trends that effect you during a daily ten-hour broadcast.
* Dude, where's my credit chit? - Hilarious sitcom starring volus comedian Xil Ripto and the daily problems his bank has.
* VolSquad Five - A daring, engaging show about five volus warcountants and the trials they go through to preserve Irune's financial status.
* Mor Ortlo's Night Terrors - A new broadcast series dedicated to the late Mor Ortlo's fascinating short fiction.
* Cooking with Coorus - Cooking the volus way with Coorus Marvo. Over 1000 ammonia-based dishes!
* Ziggurat 7 - Rerun episodes of syndicated terran science-fiction serial.
* Volus volus volus volus, yeah booooooy - Volus-themed music show following the exploits of 2Rich, Easy-V, Ventil-8, and other upcoming volus rappers.
* Irune 4040 - A unique view of a possible cyberpunk future on Irune, where corporations don't own everything and money isn't the most important thing around.
* Who Can Shoot Dwick? - Contestants vie to shoot as many holographic representations of Jorgal Dwick as possible in a terrifying jungle environment.

We apologize for any problems this may cause with you, and hope you enjoy the new lineup of broadcasting. If you have any complaints, feel free to mail them directly to the following address:

555 Up Your Own Ass, Planet Uranus, CII Code I-don't-give-a-shit

Sincerely,

"Terrorbyte," CFO and acting CEO of DDS.

How'd you kill him

Also these shows are shit. Too much volus and none of them are blowing up.

Die in a fire you sack of ammonia sodden shit.

Oh, Wheel, it's a coup...

I'm gone a few days and the guy on top gets toppled.

Typical.

I like the sound of Warcountant. It's martial on so many levels, like "I'm going to kill you" and "I'm going to clean out your bank account legally".

DDS STOCKS TUMBLE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT

By Eric Phillips, Galaxy One Entertainment

Dwick Dwickcast Syndykyt stocks plunged today as its CFO Ihaba “Terrorbyte” Naem laid out a possible roadmap for the network following the recent disappearance of its executive, Jorgal Dwick.

Syndykyt stocks (DDS, ISE) tumbled 12.9%, spooking many investors and bringing the network to its lowest value since The Life Egregious, Season Five’s airing two years ago.

Naem, age unknown, announced network changes following four consecutive days without Dwick’s presence, the longest period of time the network CEO has refrained from appearing on holovision since his acquisition thereof at the eve of the Reaper War’s end. Citing Dwick’s considerable role in the network’s creative department, Naem proceeded to outline a new, more Irune-friendly lineup, featuring prominent actors Xil Ripto and Cal Vindu as well as a flood of new shows that emphasize “volus” half of the krogan/volus juggernaut.

“Stay tuned for a whole new lineup,” Naem stated at a news bulletin on the official DDS Forums, while discussing a policy shift to “not only titillate, but educate.”

The market’s knee-jerk reaction, considering DDS’ large vorcha and krogan demographic, is already considerable, and many are criticizing Naem’s business plan – chief amongst them Abyssal Entertainment’s Chief Vidcast Correspondent Hoorjz, who calls the move “blind grabby-grabby at [censored] who don’t give a [censored].”

“Gasball dum[censored] ijitface,” he wrote on his syndicated blog. “Gbak2 counting chits.”

Senior Illium Communications Commission Correspondent Vijell Rovanofsk , however, calls the new listings to be “new and exciting.”

“We should be embracing the abdication of the Poop Joke,” he said. “This is truly a sign that the galaxy is finally moving on from the Reaper Wars.”

FUCK YOU HOORJZ

TRUST ME, I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING

Oh voids yeah! Where did you find this, I thought the episodes were impossible to get? I've only seen those two edited-together feature-length 'films' they did. That's classic Terran sci-fi, from the 2125-50 golden age.

So, alright, I guess it's time to swallow my pride and accept that I'll be funding... whatever it is you lunatics get up to at 1 Dwickcast Tower. Do you have the rights to sell it on OSD as well as broadcast, and what are you charging?

Delicious.

DIE IN A FIRE

Seriously, just blow some fucking volus up already

I can't believe I'm saying this, but after taking one look at the new lineup I already miss the old DDS.

I should check in and see a shrink. Years of seeing horrific shit in my line of work, and this is what finally makes me realize I'm off my rocker.

[Do you wish to sign this petition asking for the restoration of Jorgal Dwick as CEO of the Dwick Dwickcast Syndykt?]

[Y]

[Y] [Y] [Y] [Y] [Y] [Y] [Y] [Y] [Y] [Y] [Y] [Y] [Y] [Y] [Y] [Y] [Y] [Y] [Y] [Y]

[Y]

[Y]

[Y]

wasn't someone just looking into an orbital strike into an office tower with a volus in it?
Reinstating DWICK would be better than any orbital strike! Weapon of mass distraction.

[N]

Rot in hell

Seconded, either the new management runs the syndication into the ground which hopefully means that the DDS gets majorly restructured into a more educational network or it'll keep trucking along while blatantly pandering to lowest common denominator of Volus (instead of just the lowest common denominator of everybody). Either things improve, which I'm doubtful of occurring, but hey, optimism. One of the more petty things I hate that resulted from the war is how trashy television is at an all time high because it's just so easy to produce.

[N]

Let him run it into the ground, then both of them will be gone.

You guys should give a chance to "Dude, where's my credit chit?"! On the last episode Mar Tarla accidentally had her client sign a 783-Kpx file instead of a 666-MLU, which caused a net loss to his firm and resulted on a 0.23% down on stocks. The way she reacted was priceless! Well it's not like we could see her face, but you know, the way she breathed... Well you got to see it.

However I strongly recommend to avoid "Cooking with Coorus". He... well he's the kind of person who... Cooks naked. No suit, no clothes, no nothing.
For a cooking show it's pretty stomach churning ::/