[MHRP] I don't need your Civil War

Dramatis Personae

CLOD as STEVE "CAPTAIN AMERICA" ROGERS - leader of the Avengers, and requisite moral center whenever SHIELD comes around picking volunteers for less-than-legal operations.

KIROK as TONY "IRON MAN" STARK - a huge fan of Mythbusters. It's starting to impact his job performance, in fact. You'll see what I mean.

TECHOPTRYX as MARC "MOON KNIGHT" SPECTOR - former soldier of fortune, always ready to inflict trauma in the name of Khonshu and the almighty dollar.

DWICK as AGENT PHIL COULSON - agent of SHIELD, superhuman liaison specialist, possessor of the only Mandroid suit with its own set of sunglasses, and bringer of splash pages.

In a world ravaged by SHIELD conspiracies, constantly beset by tech-powered supervillains selling the generic off-brand of injustice, who is to step up and fight for truth, honor, and a briefcase full of Mexican food while shooting up every McDonald's on the block while he's at it? Yes, it's the surprising adventures of DIPPY as SIR DEADPOOL CHICKEN CAESAR.

STEEL as PETER "SPIDER-MAN" PARKER - perpetually in way, way over his head, as his 'well, this should help with the rent and tuition' moments seem to have been repeatedly leading to extranational operations.

MARDUK as UATU THE WATCHER - who is always watching, but must never interfere.

Issue 7 - It Never Rains But It Pours

Things are serious, true believers. As you may recall from issue 6, the Avengers are trapped in a SHIELD hospital, backed up only by Echo, Nick Fury, and a comatose Black Widow. An army of supervillains with superior Latverian tech are closing in fast, intent on laying siege and wiping them all out - they've got reinforcements and a plan, unlike our heroes. There's a battle royale going down, readers...and in this issue...



...ONE OF THESE PEOPLE WILL DIE.







^^^^^^^^^^ Not this one, mind you. He's involved, though.

Yep.

Glad to see this is still alive.

Oooh, oooh, I bet it's me!

<Zoftan> Nick Fury has a sniper rifle (he pulled it out of his trenchcoat and expanded it with SHIELD tech, or something, I don't know), and he glances out the window at what's going on outside.
<Moon_Knight> "There's a lot of them. This might be fun!"
<Zoftan> "...Looks like six or seven, at least."
<Zoftan> Echo looks duly amused at MK, and readies a pair of sais.
<Deadpool> You don't see it but there's a big smile on Deadpool's face.
<CaptainAmerica> Cool, Cap's gonna vault out the window and get ready to throw down like it's Fight Club
<&Iron_Man> HIS NAME IS STEVE ROGERS
<Spider_Man> Spidey's already on the first floor, so he'll just rush out and join Captain America in some superheroing.
* Moon_Knight follows Captain America down into the thick of it
<CaptainAmerica> Awesome, the whole team's coming with. "Avengers... KICK ASS!"

The session gets off to an aggressive start as Captain America leads his teammates onto the battlefield. Echo tags along with Moon Knight, while Fury stays indoors with Coulson and Deadpool, who set to work fortifying the hospital with tripmines and other fun SHIELD toys. Never underestimate Coulson's bottomless bag of gadgets.

<Zoftan> Excellent. Alright, you land in the street, right out in front of the outpost, and holy shit there's so many of them.
<Zoftan> You can make out Scorcher, Diamondback, and Omega Red advancing from the street. Overhead, the Crimson Dynamo is hovering in place with his missile launchers trained on the front of the outpost.
<Zoftan> That's all you can see for the moment, though - there's a lot of smoke and carnage.
<Zoftan> Let me make sure I've got this: MK, Cap, and Spidey are fighting in the street, Coulson and Deadpool are holding the facility. Right?
<Spider_Man> Sounds about right.
<&PhilCoulson> Yes. Setting up explosives to trip up anyone trying to get up to the floor, then getting to Ground Level.
* Deadpool is looking outside the (ex)window to the street below.
<Zoftan> Cool! Okay, Omega Red waves a tentacle, and the supervillains charge toward you...

Meanwhile, at Stark Tower, the Invincible Iron Man is rallying all of the resources available to him in order to take on the...

* &Iron_Man is watching mythbusters and drinking fine cognac.

...Oh. Let's briefly explain away his player's absence last week, then...

<Zoftan> So I mentioned this last week, but after getting the call, Iron Man realized that everyone had been attacked by supervillains. Logically, they might come back for more, and it would be a good idea to be prepared.
<Zoftan> So you headed back to Stark Tower to find Bruce, but got distracted by an episode of Mythbusters.
<&Iron_Man> "Oh man. I love this episode."
<Zoftan> Anyway, you're watching Adam and Jamie discuss whether the urban legend about pym particles and ice cream is true, when Bruce comes rushing in with Daredevil at his side.
* &Iron_Man looks over the top of the couch.
<Zoftan> "Tony, we've got a situation--is this the one with the Pym particles?"
<&Iron_Man> "Yeah. Not bad. Pym's guest shot is hilarious. So what's up, guys?"
<&Iron_Man> "You look like you could use a drink?"
<Zoftan> "Daredevil came over a few minutes ago; I let him in since, well, he's Daredevil. Anyway, tell him what you told me."
* &Iron_Man looks at Daredevil, waves, realizes it's Daredevil.
<&Iron_Man> "GO AHEAD, DAREDEVIL."

I'm not saying the blind jokes at Ana'Therion's expense might have been inspired by Daredevil, I'm saying they were absolutely inspired by Daredevil.

<Zoftan> Daredevil is slightly out of breath, as if he'd just fought a woman dressed as Doctor Octopus and then dashed frantically across NYC. "Nick Fury sent me," he manages between heavy breaths. "The SHIELD medical outpost, the one where Natasha is, it's being attacked by supervillains. We need reinforcements there, this could be serious."
<Zoftan> You realize that you knew most of this, but the lure of pym particles was too strong.
<&Iron_Man> Nah, I just wanted to see Jamie make fun of Pym.
<CaptainAmerica> Tony, you're such a shit Avenger.
<&Iron_Man> "That's okay. Repeat anyways. Okay, so, we're looking at, what, three guy? Four?"
<Zoftan> "Oops!" says a voice on the TV. "I almost forgot to take my Don't Beat My Wife pill!"
<&Iron_Man> XD

Thanks, MightyGodKing.

<Zoftan> "...Lots. Maybe two or three times that."
* &Iron_Man does a double-take.
<&Iron_Man> "Oh. Well. Okay, then."
<&Iron_Man> "Jarvis, you there?"
<Zoftan> "I haven't magically left the mainframe, sir."
<&Iron_Man> "Hey, I don't know, you went shopping in that roomba a few weeks ag - nevermind. Load up the crowdbuster armor. I want tear gas, sonic disrupters, replusors, taser clouds, and missiles."
<&Iron_Man> "Also, how are we on the martini shaker? We get that in?"
* &Iron_Man looks hopeful.
<Zoftan> "I make no promises about watery martinis, sir. Nevertheless, the armor will be waiting for you on deck A."
<Zoftan> I assume you're going to grab Bruce and fly over, then?
<&Iron_Man> "Awesome. Daredevil, you look beat. Go ahead and sit down and watch some te- oooooooooh"
<CaptainAmerica> Dude!
<&PhilCoulson> snrk
<CaptainAmerica> Not cool!
<&Iron_Man> XD
<Spider_Man> You're awful, Iron Man.
<Deadpool> :D
<&Iron_Man> Someone has to be the dick of the party.
<Zoftan> Strangely you get the impression that less-than-amused stare is directed right at you.
<&Iron_Man> XD
<Moon_Knight> :D

Daredevil: the Man Without Friends.

<Zoftan> "I'll come along and provide backup, thanks. Can't exactly carry Dr. Banner with me, though."
<&Iron_Man> "Oh. I can handle that."
<Zoftan> Alright!
<&Iron_Man> "LAST ONE TO THE FLIGHT DECK'S A NEW WARRIOR."
<&Iron_Man> And I run to the Flight Deck.
<Zoftan> Oh, that joke is gonna be really harsh in a few in-game weeks.
<&Iron_Man> That's why I made it. :D
<Zoftan> TRANSITION
<Moon_Knight> hahahah
<&PhilCoulson> XD

Christ, Tony's apparently wearing the Unfortunate Humor armor this week. Back at the hospital, there is A Serious Brawl about to go down. Diamondback (who looks injured because Iron Man spiked her like twenty feet onto the pavement), Scorcher, Crimson Dynamo, and Omega Red are charging down the street towards the hospital, where Spidey, Cap, MK, and Echo are poised to come at them. Dusty Rhodes would say that we're about to go to the pay window, daddy, and then he'd ramble about clubberin the mothership.

Inside, Coulson and Deadpool begin to hear something scrabbling inside the elevator shaft. Fortunately, they've mined the area, and Coulson's tripmines run on narrative fluidity: for a basic attack action, he can declare that a villain's triggered one of his pre-set mines.

<Spider_Man> "Is the supervillain reject convention /today/? Can I get my mask signed by Hobgoblin, or is he not in today?"
<&PhilCoulson> "He was around earlier."
<CaptainAmerica> "You won't be seeing him today, no."
<&PhilCoulson> "Had a tragic accident involving a grappling hook and his glider."

Not as tragic as the Eel's accident involving a grappling hook and the glider. Anyway, Spider-Man uses an area attack with his webbing; he lassos Diamondback in midair and throws her at Omega Red. Steel rolls high enough to hit the former, but not the latter...

<Zoftan> Alright, Diamondback hurtles towards Omega Red...but a tentacle lashes out and CATCHES HER IN MIDAIR
<&Iron_Man> Oh shit!
<Zoftan> "Ha! You only feed the Death Factor!"
<Zoftan> He glows with mutant, and saps the life out of Diamondback before throwing her aside!
<Spider_Man> Wait, is she dead?
<Zoftan> The deathly white muscles BULGE under his suit, it's like he increases muscle mass from the vampirizing.
<&Iron_Man> She's definitely not happy. Let's put it that way.
<Zoftan> Nah, she's just unconscious and out of commission.
<CaptainAmerica> That's a little terrifying. D:
<Zoftan> Even if she WERE dead she'd come back cause this is Marvel.
<Spider_Man> Hehe.

Being a Soviet cyborg zombie vampire, Omega Red becomes stronger as he drains the life force from his enemies...or allies, in this case. His Superhuman (d10) physical assets have stepped up to Godlike (d12), making him an incredible force to be reckoned with.

<Zoftan> Alright, normally I'd say Spider-Man chooses the next person, but I am spending another d6 doom to interrupt the initiative order...
<Spider_Man> "Oh. Oh boy."
<Zoftan> because the elevator doors tear open and...there's that woman dressed as Doctor Octopus again.
<&Iron_Man> Hottttttt
<Zoftan> Lady Ock clambers into the facility's main floor, tentacles lashing, and charges straight for the spot where Deadpool and Coulson are holed up!

A tentacle lashes out for each of them, and Lady Ock rolls...surprisingly well!

<Zoftan> Solo, Legacy Supervillain, Prehensile Movement, Tech Master, and extra d6s for Area Attack and Grapple.
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 3>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 8>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 6>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 10>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d6]: 2>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d6]: 1>
<&PhilCoulson> :x
<Spider_Man> ...bwuh.
<Zoftan> ...Okay, good news and bad news
<&Iron_Man> ...?
<Zoftan> The good news is that you get a free counterattack on your reaction
<Zoftan> The bad news is that she has an 18 with a d8 effect die for each of you.
<&PhilCoulson> jesus
<Zoftan> Both of you have to dodge or counter in some way, now!
<&PhilCoulson> Unshakeable, Body Armor, Superhuman Durability, Buddy, Combat Master, using a plot point for an extra die
<&PhilCoulson> And Coulson tries to do the classic combat roll to get the hell out of there.
<Zoftan> Good plan.
<&PhilCoulson> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for PhilCoulson [1d8]: 6>
<&PhilCoulson> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for PhilCoulson [1d8]: 7>
<&PhilCoulson> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for PhilCoulson [1d10]: 7>
<&PhilCoulson> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for PhilCoulson [1d6]: 1>
<&PhilCoulson> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for PhilCoulson [1d10]: 1>
<&PhilCoulson> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for PhilCoulson [1d8]: 5>
<&PhilCoulson> ...Well, it was nice not being stressed until now
<Zoftan> Take a plot point, for I will add that d6 to the Doom Pool.
<Zoftan> Actually, take two! :D
<&PhilCoulson> :x
<Zoftan> Deadpool, your reaction roll?
<Deadpool> Deadpool used his teleporter to disappear out of her range.
<Deadpool> "Not on our first date lady!"
<&PhilCoulson> snrk
<Zoftan> :D
<&Iron_Man> Deadpool is all about leaving them wanting more.
<Deadpool> So, Buddy, Merc With a Mouth, Teleporter, Enhanced Reflexes, Acrobatic Expert
<Deadpool> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d6]: 6>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d8]: 2>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d6]: 5>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d10]: 8>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d8]: 2>
<Deadpool> Well okay I'm doing nothing.

...Yeah. Neither of them beat her attack roll, so they're caught in a bad romance.

<Zoftan> Coulson rolls and Deadpool teleports, but Lady Ock's got some crazy good reflexes.
<Zoftan> It probably helps that the mechanical tentacles give her a 360-degree field of attack.
<&PhilCoulson> Frickin' attacks of opportunity.
<Zoftan> Either way, she grabs Coulson off the ground and Deadpool out of the air, wrapping you each in a tentacle!
<CaptainAmerica> WORST HUG
<&Iron_Man> Oh my
<Zoftan> Both of you gain a complication: d10 I Hate Japanese Cartoons
<&Iron_Man> XD
<Spider_Man> XD
<&PhilCoulson> snrk
<Moon_Knight> :D

This will not be the last time that anime is our heroes' nemesis, true believers. Fortunately, Coulson has his detonator ready, and Lady Octopus is standing right next to a remote mine.

* &PhilCoulson 's eyes bulge slightly from the pain, but he croaks out "Excuse me, ma'am, but if you'll just hold still..."
<Zoftan> ^^
<Deadpool> "You know -nnnnnn- this reminds me of this one cartoon I once saw..."
<Zoftan> Even Lady Ock looks slightly repulsed, Deadpool.
<Zoftan> PERHAPS THIS IS WHAT DISTRACTS HER JUST ENOUGH FOR THE CHARGE TO GO OFF.

Astoundingly, it isn't - she edges him out by one.

<&PhilCoulson> It was a goddamn d12 effect, too ;_;
<Zoftan> There's a huge explosion from the charge, and a tentacle shoots out, bursting through one of the remaining intact windows! It pulls her to safety just in time, and the top two tentacles begin running Lady Ock up the side of the hospital, with the two of you still caught in her bottom tentacles!
<&Iron_Man> Lady Ock's got some moves.
<Zoftan> You're about fifty feet in the air, so TREAD CAREFULLY
* &PhilCoulson sighs, then immediately regrets it as it allows her to constrict further on him.
* CaptainAmerica looks up just in time to see Deadpool and the Agent being carted off as if Lady Ock was King Kong! "COULSON!"
<&PhilCoulson> Deadpool, GET US OUTTA HERE
<Deadpool> Zoftan, is deadpools arms free or are the constricted by the arms?
<Zoftan> You have both arms free!
<Zoftan> She's a scientist, not a combat master.
<Zoftan> so her knowledge of fighting strategy is limited
<Deadpool> HEEHEE... poor Lady Ock.
<Deadpool> Also poor Coulson.

Coulson and Lady Ock have no idea how poor they are. An excerpt from Deadpool's character sheet:

'SFX: One Man Arsenal. Spend 1 PP and pull out a weapon of your choosing. This weapon is a d10 power trait and lasts for one action. If you spend 2 PP, it lasts the entire scene.'

The operative phrase here is 'a weapon of your choosing, which is open to some potentially amazing interpretations.

<&Iron_Man> I'd say her knowledge is pretty goddamn spot on.
<Spider_Man> :D
* Deadpool waves at Lady Ock, then he pulls out (from where nobody knows,) a M202 FLASH rocket launcher (this is an incendiary device btw) and launches one of its missiles point blank at her.
<&Iron_Man> O_O
<&Iron_Man> Uh oh
<Zoftan> LMAO
<Spider_Man> HOT DAMN DEADPOOL
<&Iron_Man> YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING TO USE THAT
<&Iron_Man> HAVEN'T YOU
<Deadpool> :D
<&PhilCoulson> XD
<&Iron_Man> Goddamned hyperspace arsenal.
<Spider_Man> KPOW KPOW

It's a point blank shot with an incendiary rocket launcher. Literally impossible to miss.

<Deadpool> so Buddy, Totally Insane, One Man Arsenal, Combat Master, Godlike Stamina (because he's being crushed by those arms after all...)
<Deadpool> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d6]: 1>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d4
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d4]: 2>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d10]: 1>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d12]: 1>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d10]: 3>
<&Iron_Man> ...
<Spider_Man> uhhhhhhhhhhh

Never fear! Deadpool's SFX lets him spend a plot point to reroll an entire dice pool. He can't miss twice in a row, can he?

<Zoftan> Deadpool has a secret weapon for this kind of dice pool incident.
<&Iron_Man> NOW I'M EVEN MORE WORRIED
<Deadpool> I spend 1 pp to reroll my entire dice pool, unpredictable
<Zoftan> Yup!
<Zoftan> Reroll!
<Spider_Man> O_O
<Deadpool> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d6]: 1>
<&ESpiza> well then
<Deadpool> #roll 1d4
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d4]: 2>
<Moon_Knight> ...whoa.
<Spider_Man> deja vu
<Deadpool> :|
<&ESpiza> O_o
<CaptainAmerica> DEADPOOOOL
<Zoftan> Keep rolling!
<Deadpool> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d10]: 4>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d12]: 9>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d10]: 1>
<&Iron_Man> OH MY GOD
<Spider_Man> :|
<Deadpool> wait a second here...
<Spider_Man> :|||||||
<Deadpool> who's messing with the dice
<Zoftan> I cannot stop laughign
<Zoftan> this is the greatest session of anything ever

This is not a bad thing for Deadpool. He actually has a limit attached to a failed One Man Arsenal roll, and triggering it gives him experience and plot points, so he's made some serious bank over the course of those two rolls.

...Coulson, on the other hand, is not going to be as happy, because Deadpool also adds a d8 to the Doom Pool every time he fails one of those rolls, signifying the damage to the battlefield, and he just missed two in a row.

<Zoftan> OKAY
<Zoftan> THE FOLLOWING EVENTS HAPPEN IN SLOW MOTION OVER THE COURSE OF TEN SECONDS
<Spider_Man> I can't help but think this is somehow karma.
<Zoftan> Coulson, you're in the midst of squirming to get loose as Lady Ock carries you up the side of the building, and suddenly you see Deadpool reach behind his back and somehow produce a fucking rocket launcher
<CaptainAmerica> Well, our multi-game lucky streak had to come to an end sometime.
<PhilCoulson> Coulson's eyes widen.
< PhilCoulson > "Uh."
<Zoftan> He fires a shot, almost point blank, at Lady Octopus just as she vaults a gargoyle and jumps high. It streaks by her, passing just close enough to singe your eyebrows, and crashes into the side of the building!
<Deadpool> To quote the wiki entry "the weapon was still bulky to use and the ammunition suffered from reliability problems"
<Zoftan> Debris is raining onto the streets - it's FLAMING DEBRIS, because that's what happens with incendiary ammo - and Deadpool, not at all deterred, fires another shot while humming the Golden Girls theme
< PhilCoulson > His eye twitches.
<Deadpool> "I've spent two PP for this, stay still so I can shoot you!"
<Zoftan> This time the rocket destroys the entire facade on the part of the complex you guys are on, and Lady Ock drops like a stone, still clutching both of you in her tentacles. She just barely manages to grab onto one of the gargoyles with a tentacle, and is hanging desperately in place with both of you weighing her down.
<Zoftan> "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU IDIOT"
<CaptainAmerica> THANK YOU FOR BEIN A FRIIEEENND
<Deadpool> "Sharing the love!"
<Zoftan> At this point the three of you are just dangling precariously over the streets, swinging back and forth to dodge all the flaming rubble that's raining down onto Cap's team and their enemies.
< PhilCoulson > Coulson's holding onto the tentacle for dear life.
<CaptainAmerica> "DEADPOOL"
<CaptainAmerica> "YOU'RE MAKING THIS UNNECESSARILY DIFFICULT"
<Deadpool> "Oh let me have my fun... I thought of just detonating some grenades but this is way more entertaining!"

Things have escalated from Bad to Hilariously Bad in the space of like half a round, and one interrupt later they get even wilder.

<Zoftan> A manhole next to Cap's team practically explodes out of the street and the Silver Samurai leaps up, katana in hand!
<&ESpiza> O_o
<&ESpiza> wh-whaaaaaaat
<&Iron_Man> OH MAN
<CaptainAmerica> Bwuah?
<Spider_Man> "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE"

One wonders why the Silver Samurai was lurking in the sewers in ambush. You would think it'd be against his honor. Then again, that doesn't seem to be a problem for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

* Moon_Knight squints at the Silver Samurai, then glances at Omega Red.
* Moon_Knight turns to Echo, "I want his sword."
<Zoftan> "Well, okay."
<Zoftan> He strikes in midair, with a tachyon field glowing around his sword, but Echo intercepts the attack again, leaving him open - d8 So Very Exposed - for one turn.
<Zoftan> "Get it, then!"
<Zoftan> MK, you're up!
* Moon_Knight charges Silver Samurai, nunchuks swinging

Remember how I said one of those people was going to die?

<Moon_Knight> 14 with a d12 effect, spending a PP to include the other d8 in my roll, so 20 with a d12 effect
<Zoftan> Alright!
<Zoftan> Solo, Bushido, Superhuman Durability, Combat Master
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 3>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 3>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 6>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 5>
<Zoftan> Oh god I could spend all the doom dice and that total still wouldn't match the attack.
<Spider-Man> Go Moon Knight!
<&Iron_Man> FUCK YEAH
<Moon_Knight> waifu begone

Yeah, emphasis on 'one'.

<Zoftan> That is an extraordinary success--you slide in and nunchuk him right in the exposed ribs, and it CRACKS HIS SILVER ARMOR because you hit him so hard!
<&PhilCoulson> :D
<Zoftan> He hits a knee in short order and the katana flips up into the air; Echo catches it by the hilt, decapitates him with a sweep of the blade, and offers it to you hilt-first as the Samurai's head rolls with a clunk into the gutter.
<Zoftan> "You wanted this?"
* Moon_Knight grins and nods his thanks, tucking away the nunchuks in favor of the sword.
<&Iron_Man> DAMN
<Spider-Man> Snaaaaaaaaaap.

What follows is a rare behind-the-scenes excerpt one week later:

<Zoftan> So Plot Points put out a new event
<Zoftan> and I was like "Hey, just as we finish SW! Maybe I can use this between here and Civil War"
<Zoftan> and I opened it up and saw that it revolves around the Silver Samurai.
<Abad> bahahahahaha

<CaptainAmerica> SO what's the situation?
<Zoftan> Alright, you're facing down three villains on the street - two (Omega Red, the major threat, and Scorcher) on the ground, and one (Crimson Dynamo) in the air.
<Zoftan> You can also make out Lady Ock dangling by a tentacle from one of the gargoyles on the top of the hospital, with Deadpool and Coulson grasped tightly in her tentacles. The latter looks exasperated, while the former is trying to line up another rocket.
<Spider-Man> DEADPOOOOOOOOOL
<Zoftan> Crimson Dynamo is basically an evil Iron Man - he's in the air, but he's definitely within shield range if you want to hit him.
<CaptainAmerica> Can I comm Iron Man?
<Zoftan> Yes you can!
<CaptainAmerica> Okay here goes

Let's see what our master strategist and his buddy the tech-powered futurist come up with to deal with this situation.

<CaptainAmerica> "TOOOOONYYYYYYY"
<&Iron_Man> "WHAAAAAAT"
<CaptainAmerica> "WHERE ARE YOU"
<&Iron_Man> "LOOK, I'M ON MY WAY. I HAD TO SAVE A BURNING ORPHANAGE IN MIDTOWN."
<&Iron_Man> "LOOK, JUST... I DON'T KNOW, STALL THEM. I'LL BE RIGHT THERE."
<CaptainAmerica> "YOU'RE THE WORST, TONY"
<&Iron_Man> "THAT'S NOT WHAT YOUR MOM SAID."
<CaptainAmerica> "MY MOM IS DEAD"
<&Iron_Man> "CAN'T HEAR YOU, GOING THROUGH THE TUNNEL"

can I briefly say that I have the best PNP group in the world

<CaptainAmerica> Time to stall. Leaving Lady Ock to Iron Man whenever he deigns to arrive, I'm going to meet Omega Red's charge with my own!
<CaptainAmerica> Here we go. Team, Enhanced Stamina which I will double with Last Ditch Effort, Godlike Durability, Combat Master, and It's Raining Fire
<CaptainAmerica> So the Cap is going to just charge Omega through the flaming wreckage RAINING FROM THE SKY

With the Battle Hymn of the Republic going full blast in the background and fire raining all around him as he charges towards the Soviet cyberzombie, Captain America rolls a motherfucking twenty with a d12 effect die.

<Spider-Man> LET'S SEE OMEGA RED HANDLE THIS
<&Iron_Man> Niiiiiice
<Zoftan> "Yes, yes! None of this playing around! We fight like men!"
<Zoftan> He chooses to defend with OFFENSE, charging shoulder-first towards you! You're about to collide head-on...
<CaptainAmerica> "RAAAAAAGH"
<Zoftan> Team, Life Force Vampire, Superhuman Strength, Combat Master
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 5>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 4>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 7>
<Moon_Knight> YOU CAN TAKE HIM CAP
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 2>
<Zoftan> BUT THE POWER OF THE SOVIET UNION DOES NOT STAND UP TO AMERICA
<Spider-Man> YOU GET HIM CAP
<Spider-Man> GUESS WHO WON THE COLD WAR
<&Iron_Man> BY THE ROCKET'S RED FLAAAAAARE
<CaptainAmerica> AMURICA
<CaptainAmerica> That's an extraordinary success, isn't it? :D
<Zoftan> Yes it is!
<Spider-Man> AMURIKA
<Zoftan> He leaps at the last second and charges down in a huge shoulder tackle, you meet it with your shield, and KABOOM
<&PhilCoulson> :D

With an extraordinary success, he oneshots the Soviet super soldier. It's impressive. I mean, Omega Red is pretty much the USSR's version of Cap (albeit also a cyborg vampire zombie who subsides off the life force of his victims), so it's hard to see this as something other than fate's refutation of the Soviet Union.

Well, fate's refutation of the Soviet Union besides the whole 'the Soviet Union dissolves' thing.

<Zoftan> But as the burning wreckage rains from the sky, it's Captain America who stands his ground! Omega Red flies back from the collision and crashes into a neon sign advertising a bar!
<Zoftan> He jerks and spasms wildly as it electrifies him, then flops down to the pavement smoking and twitching.
<Spider-Man> KO?
<&Iron_Man> MURKA
<Zoftan> Yup, that was over d12 stress, he is KO'd for the moment.
<CaptainAmerica> KAAAY OOOOH
<CaptainAmerica> PERFECT
<Zoftan> The sign collapses atop him in a pile of electric rubble.
<CaptainAmerica> (seriously that was an absurdly high roll)
* Moon_Knight high-fives Cap
<Spider-Man> It really was.
<CaptainAmerica> If I was Saach that would be a triple crit.
<Spider-Man> I think we're getting our groove back.
<Spider-Man> WOOOO
<&Iron_Man> WHO WANTS SOME

Suddenly, a flying figure appears over the skyline...

<Zoftan> Remember, you've still got Bruce under an arm.
<Spider-Man> you should play something on the suit's speakers
<&Iron_Man> Oh
<&Iron_Man> I have the perfect sont
<&Iron_Man> "Tuck and roll, Bruce."
<&Iron_Man> And then I play this.
<Zoftan> Good choice.
<&Iron_Man> And throw Bruce at Lady Ock.
<Deadpool> XD
<&PhilCoulson> XD
<Spider-Man> :D :D :D
<Zoftan> "Wait, what do you m--TOOOOOOONYYYYYYYYYYY"

In retrospect, it may have been better to tell Dr. Banner about the plan before throwing him at a supervillain on the side of a building.

<Zoftan> Okay, good news and bad news.
<Zoftan> The good news is, you connect. Good job!
<&Iron_Man> ...
<&Iron_Man> uh oh
<Zoftan> The bad news is, you slightly underestimated Bruce's ability to get mad very quickly, because he's still Bruce when he hits her.
<&PhilCoulson> oh dear
<&Iron_Man> XD
<CaptainAmerica> :|
<&Iron_Man> LAUGHIN
<&Iron_Man> SO HARD
<Deadpool> "Hey Bruce... just ready to see me shoot this rocket!"
<Zoftan> The impact DOES jar both Coulson and Deadpool loose, though, and they begin to plummet to the ground alongside him.
<Zoftan> "TONY, FOR GOD'S SAKE"
<Spider-Man> XD
<&PhilCoulson> XD
<Zoftan> "I WAS JUST TELLING YOU ABOUT ALL THE YOGA I'D BEEN DOING"
<Spider-Man> this is the best
<&Iron_Man> "WHAT, I THOUGHT YOU COULD FLIP IT LIKE A SWITCH"
<Zoftan> "NO! IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY! AUGH, I'M SO MAD RIGHT--wait"
<&Iron_Man> "IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE DOING, I THOUGHT YOU WERE TRAINING FOR KUNG FU"
<&Iron_Man> We are the best Avengers ever
<&PhilCoulson> XD
<Zoftan> He descends MUCH more rapidly than Coulson and Deadpool, and there is a tremendous crash on the street!
<Zoftan> A moment later, as they both drop towards the ground, a huge green hand catches each of them!
<&Iron_Man> Badass
<Moon_Knight> :D
<Zoftan> Thankfully, the Hulk is content to set both of you down, glare up at Iron Man, and announce "STUPID PLAN."
<&Iron_Man> "Worked, though."
<CaptainAmerica> Heehee.
<&PhilCoulson> As he crashes into Hulk's hand, a single thought crashes through his mind.
<&PhilCoulson> "It's a good thing I chose to wear Kree-Tech Armor today, or else that would have /really/ hurt."

This segue is brought to you by Kree-Tech Armor. Kree-Tech Armor: Wear it, or Ronan the Accuser will pronounce you guilty.

With his cargo...sort of dropped off...I guess...Iron Man surveys the battlefield for a new target.

<&Iron_Man> Who's still up in terms of enemies?
<Zoftan> Okay, you have the following:
<Zoftan> Crimson Dynamo, in the air
<&Iron_Man> NEVER MIND
<Zoftan> Scorcher, on the street
<&Iron_Man> I FOUND MY TARGET
<Zoftan> Lady Octopus, hanging on the side of the hospital.
<Zoftan> Oh >>

It's like the opposite of professional courtesy.

<&Iron_Man> "Hey, look, it's the cheap russian knock-off."
<&Iron_Man> "Come on, Venko. Let's dance."
<&Iron_Man> And I launch a shitton of missiles at him.
<Zoftan> Roll it!
<&Iron_Man> SOLO, TECH MASTER, CYBERSENSES, MISSILES
<&Iron_Man> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Iron_Man [1d10]: 9>
<&Iron_Man> Oh, and hardheaded futurist.
<&Iron_Man> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Iron_Man [1d10]: 3>
<&Iron_Man> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Iron_Man [1d8]: 7>
<&Iron_Man> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Iron_Man [1d6]: 6>
<&Iron_Man> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Iron_Man [1d6]: 2>
<&Iron_Man> 16 with a d10 effect dice
<&Iron_Man> SHAMOOOON
<Zoftan> Nice!
<Spider-Man> Woo!
<&Iron_Man> I BRING THE PAIN
<Zoftan> A Zone of the Enders-esque barrage of mini missiles streaks from the launchers on your suit towards the red menace.
<&PhilCoulson> :D
<Zoftan> "You came to this dance with inferior technology!" bellows the Crimson Dynamo, and he raises his palms, firing a series of electrical blasts at the missiles in an attempt to knock each one out of the air!
<&Iron_Man> PYOO PYOO PYOO
<&Iron_Man> LET'S SEE IT, RED

Daring and stylish. The Dynamo's armor is comparable to Iron Man's finest suit, with all the ingenious arc reactor tech that makes Stark Industries a force to be reckoned with. His electrical blasts are on par with Iron Man's repulsors, in fact, and stand a good chance of knocking the missile swarm out altogether.

<Zoftan> Solo, Russian Iron Man, Cybernetic Senses, Electrical Blasts, Combat Expert
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 1>
<Zoftan> #roll1 d8
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 2>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d6]: 1>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 2>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 2>
<Spider-Man> ...
<Moon_Knight> Wow.
<Spider-Man> pfffhahaahaha

...Russia is really not wowing the international metahuman community on this session, true believers. Between Omega Red pumping up and immediately getting oneshotted, and then this, all that remains is for Colossus to appear and sacrifice his life only to deal d6 stress to the Scorcher.

Incidentally, if you play Colossus you actually get milestone XP for sacrificing yourself. The devs really know their characters.

<Zoftan> Full of confidence and Russian pride, the Dynamo fires his electrical blasts into the cloud of missiles! "Ha! I could shoot these in my sleep, they--"
<Zoftan> About here, he notices that Stark Industries miniature armament darts are specially armored to prevent electrical sabotage.
<Zoftan> "--Oh no."
<&Iron_Man> Ladies, gentlemen.
<CaptainAmerica> :D
<&Iron_Man> IRON MAN
<Deadpool> :D
<Spider-Man> :D
<Zoftan> KABOOM
<&Iron_Man> I give Cappy a thumbs-up from the air.
<&Iron_Man> "Hi, Steve. Sorry I'm late. You needed help with what again?"
* CaptainAmerica comms: "At least you know how to make up for lost time!"
<&Iron_Man> "Hell yes I do. I'll keep Putin busy. You guys mop up."
<Zoftan> The explosion takes out a chunk of the nearby shopping center because it blasts Crimson Dynamo through the wall of the third floor,all the way through the building, and then out the other side, where he skips across the street and wraps himself around a lamppost.
<&Iron_Man> YESSSSSSSS
<&PhilCoulson> Quick note.
<&PhilCoulson> Another explosion rocks him on the way there - just as he passes Lady Ock.
<Zoftan> Yes.
<&Iron_Man> Fuck. Yes.
<Zoftan> This is why he pinballs at an odd angle off the side of the hospital.

is second only to Cyclops at superhero geometry.

<&Iron_Man> Also, tagging that image and putting it as part of our defense contracts promotional materials.
<&Iron_Man> Just saying.
<Zoftan> Villain time!
<Zoftan> Alright, Scorcher's up first.
<Zoftan> He steps forward and unleashes a huge wave of flame at Spider-Man, Captain America, and Moon Knight!
<Zoftan> You get some advance warning from the spider-sense and Echo's shout of "Incoming!", so you thankfully have some time to dodge!

Using his Area Attack SFX, the Scorcher floods the street with a gout of fire. He only rolls a twelve, but he's targeting three PCs at once, so the odds of him hitting at least one are statistically pretty decent. Spider-Man webs to safety, while Moon Knight hits the floor and slides, Matrix-style, under the wave of flame to inflict a vicious counterattack:

<Moon_Knight> 13 with a d12 effect
<Moon_Knight> and...
<Moon_Knight> eh, nothing, that's it
<Zoftan> Are you going to inflict it as physical stress or a complication?
<Moon_Knight> complication, I think. The complication of having no legs.
<Zoftan> :D Okay
<Spider-Man> Moon Knight is brutal, god damn.
<Zoftan> You can't generate tachyon fields around the sword like the Samurai could, but the sword is plenty sharp enough and Khonshu empowers you!
<Zoftan> As you slide under the flames you sweep the blade across his knees and there's a burst of sparks! "No! My suit!"
<Zoftan> With his supports seriously damaged, Scorcher falls forward and his attack goes wild.
<Zoftan> He gains a complication: d12 Structural Instability! One more step-up will put him out of the fight.

The attack knocks Scorcher off-balance, meaning Captain America gets a bonus to his dodge roll. He decides to follow up and press the counterattack, taking advantage of the headway that Moon Knight's made.

<&Iron_Man> DODGE FOR AMERICA
<CaptainAmerica> Any way I can try to step up that complication? I have a PP handy!
<Zoftan> Yes, you can use that PP to inflict your effect die. Any damage to the complication at all will put him out.
<Zoftan> You have to RP the attack into your counter, though, so maybe charge through the flames with your shield up or something.
<CaptainAmerica> All right! Charging like a battering ram worked the first time, so the Cap is doing it again, raising his shield to bounce back the flames as he tackles Scorcher straight on!
<CaptainAmerica> Team, Lead by Example, Enhanced Strength, Godlike Durability, Combat Master, and DEAR GOD FIRE EVERYWHERE
<CaptainAmerica> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for CaptainAmerica [1d10]: 7>
<CaptainAmerica> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for CaptainAmerica [1d8]: 8>
<Zoftan> Don't forget Abad's extra d12.
<CaptainAmerica> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for CaptainAmerica [1d8]: 6>
<CaptainAmerica> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for CaptainAmerica [1d12]: 6>
<Zoftan> ...NOT THAT YOU NEED IT
<CaptainAmerica> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for CaptainAmerica [1d10]: 9>
<Zoftan> Mother of god
<CaptainAmerica> This is just a victory lap by this point.
<CaptainAmerica> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for CaptainAmerica [1d8]: 8>
<&PhilCoulson> KA-BEWM
<CaptainAmerica> And....
<CaptainAmerica> Once the Cap has Scorcher flat on his back, he's going to an elbow drop right on his face.
<Spider-Man> CRUNCH
<Zoftan> Okay! Captain America leaps up through the flames, swatting the blast aside easily with his shield, then cracks the Scorcher right in the chest with a ram!
<&Iron_Man> OOOOOO YEAAAAAH
<Zoftan> He follows it up with the big elbow and Scorcher's faceplate just SHATTERS
<&Iron_Man> YESSSS
<Zoftan> Helena Harper and Randy Savage smile down on him with approval!
<&Iron_Man> Nice one!
<CaptainAmerica> NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW
<Zoftan> The suit is totally wrecked.

Well, apart from Lady Ock (who's still trying to regain her balance and climb back onto the roof), there aren't exactly any targets left. Unless, like the Samurai, more villains were lying in wait...

<Zoftan> But just then:
<Zoftan> "You may have defeated the Scorcher, Avengers!"
<Zoftan> "BUT NOW YOU FACE..."
<Spider-Man> ...!!!
<Zoftan> Ominous silhouettes appear in the ruins of the mall Crimson Dynamo fell through.
<Zoftan> "THE FRIGHTFUL FOUR"
<&Iron_Man> ...

The Frightful Four are company mainstays and regular nemeses of the Fantastic Four (and anybody else when the FF are off in the negative zone. Which is often.) There isn't really a coherent theme except that 1) there are four of them and 2) the Wizard leads every incarnation. I guess you could also have 3) they're not very good at supervillainy but that would be unfair; when you're up against the Avengers and your power is shooting discs there's only so much you can do.

<Zoftan> "Role call!" shouts the leader, hovering down to the awning. "The Wingless Wizard!"
* Moon_Knight readies his shiny new sword.
<Zoftan> Porcupine's spines cause him to crash through the awning, forcing Wizard to jump down to the street. "Porcupine!"
<Zoftan> "The Shocker!" yells Wizard, pointing up to one of the figures remaining at the hole.
<Zoftan> "And Paste Pot Pete!"
<Zoftan> A pause.
<Spider-Man> :D
<Zoftan> "It's the Trapster now." "What?" "The name. I'm...call me the Trapster." "What's wrong with Paste Pot Pete?"
<Moon_Knight> "I missed that last one. Can you repeat it?"
<&Iron_Man> "Oh great, the comic convention is here."
<&PhilCoulson> XD
<Zoftan> "Look, just go with it, okay? I'm kinda trying to reinvent myself here, so...Trapster."
* &PhilCoulson exchanges a look with the Hulk.
<Zoftan> Another pause.
<Zoftan> "Fine. THE TRAPSTER"
<Moon_Knight> "Paste Pot Pete? Got it this time, thanks!"
<Zoftan> "NO. IT'S THE TRAPSTER" comes the indignant bellow.

The Trapster is very sensitive about his unfortunate taste in pseudonyms and does not take well to constant ridicule.

<Zoftan> Alright, they all get a turn before we switch, so here we go!
<Spider-Man> "What's that, Pete?"
<&Iron_Man> "GET BACK ON THE SHORTBUS KIDS"
<CaptainAmerica> "The Trapster, huh?"
<Zoftan> The Shocker, from his perch atop the mall, cracks off a vibro-shock blast at Deadpool!
<&Iron_Man> CAREFUL, DEADPOOL
<&Iron_Man> HE MAY COMMIT A SEX ACT AGAINST YOU
<Zoftan> Team, Collateral Damage is Guaranteed, Vibro-Shock Blast, Tech Expert
<Zoftan> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d6]: 4>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 1>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 10>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 6>
<&PhilCoulson> O_O
<&Iron_Man> ... holy shit.
<Zoftan> 14 with a d8 effect die!
<&Iron_Man> I think that's the best the Shocker's ever done.

You have no idea how tempting it was to rename that SFX 'Two in the Pink'. Anyway, Deadpool is totally unfazed by this reasonably good roll, and counters by...firing his rocket launcher, the way he's solved every other problem so far. Around this point I, Uatu the Watcher, became very relieved that I didn't put in an escort mission and a hacking puzzle.

<Deadpool> can deadpool counter attack?
<Zoftan> He can, yes.
<Deadpool> Then the shocker gets a missile shot at him.
<Zoftan> It's like the Captain America / Omega Red standoff, but more hilarious.
<Zoftan> Speaking of Omega Red, his body appears to be missing.
<Spider-Man> :|
<Spider-Man> someone should keep better track of that dude

Ominous. Anyway, Deadpool passes his defense roll with flying colors.

<Zoftan> Your missile intercepts the shock blast, and for a second there's sort of a power-struggle as the Shocker tries to overpower the rocket's jets with the force of his blasts!
* Deadpool shouts "I want taccos!"
<Zoftan> It does not avail him, as the missile ends up just blasting a path through his beam and lands right in the crater in the side of the mall!
<Zoftan> With an explosion of flame, debris, and scattered clothing (you hit an American Eagle), Shocker and Trapster leap from their perch to avoid being burned up. Trapster uses his glue gun to briefly attach himself to the wall and stop his momentum on the way down. Shocker is...less fortunate; he lands stomach-first on a billboard, slides off, and drops onto the sidewalk by the Wizard.
<Deadpool> [That's with one 'c' !] "I want tacos with extra Cheese! Why can't you read my mind!" [I can read your mind I don't want to!]
<&Iron_Man> WHOOOOO'S NEEEEEXT
<Zoftan> Porcupine is already moving as Shocker hits the ground; he charges forward and throws himself at Moon Knight, spines at the ready!
* Moon_Knight invested in extra PP, just for situations like this!
<Zoftan> Team, Villain For Hire, Enhanced Strength, Weapon (spending d6 doom to include it), Tech Expert. Using the Quill Burst SFX to increase physical stress.
<Zoftan> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d6]: 2>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 7>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 6>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 2>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 7>
<Zoftan> 14, with a d10 effect die.
<Moon_Knight> Bracing myself against the ground and stabbing the katana at him. Spending a PP to make it a counter.
<Moon_Knight> Team d6, Dangerous Past d8, Weapon d12, Stepping up enhanced strength and combat master into a second d12
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d6]: 3>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d8]: 1>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d12]: 2>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d12]: 11>
<CaptainAmerica> Oh, dear.
<Moon_Knight> spending a second PP to add a push die
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d6]: 6>
<Moon_Knight> That's a bit more like it. 17 with a d12 effect.
<Moon_Knight> ...hrm
<Zoftan> Okay! Good news and bad news. The good news is, you just rammed the Silver Samurai's katana into his gut to inflict d12 stress. Also there's more good news but it'll come in a second.
<Moon_Knight> spending my final PP to add the d6 to the roll
<Moon_Knight> which makes it a d12
<Zoftan> Alright, that's some trauma for Khonshu, then!

Right here, well past the point of no return, Moon Knight realizes that perhaps closing to melee with a guy who has metal spines all over his battle-suit might backfire a little.

<Moon_Knight> ...Porcupine :| crap
<Zoftan> The BAD news is that Porcupine has an SFX where any kind of close combat with him...yeeeaaaahhhh
<CaptainAmerica> Ohhhh no.
<Zoftan> but the other good news is that your effect die was bigger so his steps down to just a d8.

Still, he comes out on top - he took d8 physical stress, while Porcupine went all the way up to d6 physical trauma.

<Zoftan> So the two of you collide and deal simultaneous stabs to each other like a samurai movie - he nails you through the shoulder with a quill, and it stings like a bitch, but there are worse places to be stabbed. For example, the torso, which is where you nailed him.
<Zoftan> Porcupine spits blood all over the visor of his mask and pulls back to stab you again with the quill, but with a wound like that he can't quite muster up the energy, and he drops in an unconscious heap.
<&Iron_Man> ... that's fucking metal.
<Zoftan> Echo mouths something that's almost definitely 'holy fuck'. "You okay?"
* Moon_Knight grimaces but nods
<Zoftan> MEANWHILE, the Trapster takes his turn!
<Zoftan> He shows off his strategic skills by going for the biggest threats - with a burst of glue from his gun, he glues the Hulk to the street! It'll take him a whole turn to break free, so he can't help you.
<&Iron_Man> D:
<&Iron_Man> WHAT
<Zoftan> Hulk is furious, and bellows all kinds of incoherent rage as he tries to pull himself loose.
<&Iron_Man> TRAPSTER, YOU FOOL, YOU'VE JUST COMMITTED SUICIDE
<Zoftan> Lastly, the Wizard levels his disc launcher at Captain America.
<&Iron_Man> "YOU JUST GLUED THE *HULK*"
<Zoftan> "Let's see how well you perform as a servant of the Wizard!"
<CaptainAmerica> This is just like Tron!
<Zoftan> He fires a glowing blue mind control disc...
<Zoftan> Team, Arrogant Scientist, Mind Control (using Wonder Helmet to split the d8 into two d6s), Tech Master
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 3>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 8>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d6]: 2>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d6]: 1>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 2>
<Zoftan> 11, with a d10 effect die.
<CaptainAmerica> Which the Captain is going to cartwheel away from!
<CaptainAmerica> Team, Lead by Example, Enhanced Reflexes, and Acrobatic Expert
<CaptainAmerica> And since it's still raining fire, that too
<Zoftan> Word.
<CaptainAmerica> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for CaptainAmerica [1d10]: 7>
<CaptainAmerica> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for CaptainAmerica [1d8]: 7>
<CaptainAmerica> Welp!
<CaptainAmerica> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for CaptainAmerica [1d10]: 2>
<CaptainAmerica> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for CaptainAmerica [1d8]: 3>
<CaptainAmerica> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for CaptainAmerica [1d8]: 3>
<Zoftan> Alright, you dodge successfully out of the disc's way!

At some point you have to come to terms with the fact that unless you do some substantial tinkering with the villains, they are generally going to come up very short against the heroes and the game becomes more about how awesome the process of beating them is. I'm totally fine with that, because the group tends to come up with creative stuff for that. Still, every once in a while, it's nice to give them a brief curveball...

<Zoftan> It shoots by you and nails the glued Hulk right in the back of the head.
<CaptainAmerica> ... Wait, what
<Moon_Knight> ...this could be bad
<Zoftan> "Haha!" shouts the Wizard triumphantly. "You fell into my cunning trap! Now the Hulk is under the control of the peerless Wizard, who has no equal in the scientific--"
<Zoftan> Hulk growls, and the disc shatters.
<&PhilCoulson> XD
<Zoftan> "Pete, I'm thinking it's time we made a tactical retreat."

...even if it's just for a brief, cheap scare.

<&PhilCoulson> "Are we going back to Paste Pot Pete again?"
<Zoftan> "DON'T CALL ME PASTE POT PEEEEEEEEEEEEEETE"
<&Iron_Man> "Oh great. You pissed off Paste Pot Pat. Good job."
<Zoftan> And...that's everybody, I think! Excellent.
<&PhilCoulson> Not everyone actually
<&PhilCoulson> I think there's one last foe clinging to the side of a building.

A 2d12 from the Doom Pool ends the scene without us having to roll dice for the inevitable mop-up, and Coulson RPs it in style.

* &PhilCoulson reaches into his pocket, grabs his phone, and presses a button.
<&Iron_Man> Whooo!
<&PhilCoulson> At the same time, a pair of SHIELD Mobile Anti-Personnel Munitions Devices sitting just inside the hospital’s blown-out window grow legs, pop up to the outer wall with a single jump, then (with another pair of jumps) propel themselves at the nearest enemy.
<Spider-Man> Woo!
<&PhilCoulson> That being Lady Ock.
<CaptainAmerica> Man, I gotta download that app
<&Iron_Man> SO DO I
<Zoftan> Lady Ock has just managed to get up to the gargoyle safely (not having to hold Coulson and Deadpool helped there), when the MAP-MDs bounce up to the gargoyle.
<&PhilCoulson> :D
<Zoftan> You barely manage to hear "OH COME ON" before they go off and send her through the window in a burst of flame.
<&PhilCoulson> :D
* &PhilCoulson chalks up an extra 4 XP.
<Moon_Knight> :D



<Zoftan> There's a pause, a few noises of impact, something about "dealing with all these MOTHERFUCKING TECH CRIMINALS in my outpost", and then she comes crashing back out through a different window and lands in a dumpster.
<&Iron_Man> :D
<CaptainAmerica> "Talk about taking out the trash."
<&PhilCoulson> :D
...

<Zoftan> Seconds later, Fury appears at the window. "Hostiles are clear, looks like. Get ready to evacuate the wounded, we're--" He raises the rifle's scope to his eye. "Heads up, you've got another one coming!"
<&Iron_Man> "MORE?"
<Zoftan> Indeed, a lone figure is approaching you from the street. Not in any particular hurry, but it strides with purpose.
* &PhilCoulson looks at Stark. "You're surprised?"
* Moon_Knight nurses his shoulder a bit as he looks up.
<CaptainAmerica> "Who is it?"
* Spider-Man leaps back down.
* &Iron_Man aims every bit last of tech at this dude and is preparing to fire, as his blood's up.
<Moon_Knight> "Fury, how about you put that rifle to use?"
<Zoftan> As the figure steps into the light of a miraculously intact streetlight, you see it's a cyborg of some sort.



<&Iron_Man> D:
<&Iron_Man> Oh fuck
<Spider-Man> D:
<CaptainAmerica> Ohhhhh man.
<Zoftan> You can hear Fury gasp on the comms. "Oh, hell."
<CaptainAmerica> "Is that..."
<&Iron_Man> "FURY, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING"
* CaptainAmerica dips his head. "An old friend."
<&PhilCoulson> ..."That's not good."

No. No it's not.

<Zoftan> The cyborg looks over your whole group. "Excellent. That's all of you, more or less."

Having finally run up against something that intimidates them, the Avengers stand back in horror at the arrival of this new adversary. At last, the mood has changed to an atmosphere of dread, one which--

<Deadpool> "Hey sexy lady~"
<Zoftan> ...I automatically read that to the tune of Gangnam Style.
<&Iron_Man> XD
<Spider-Man> So did I. :|
<CaptainAmerica> Me too. :\

...m...my atmosphere of dread... :(

To be fair, it's justified.

<Zoftan> "So. Do you remember me, Avengers?"
<CaptainAmerica> If you start doin the dance Deadpool so help me god
<Zoftan> (engage villainous monologue!)
<&Iron_Man> "Uh, no?"
<Spider-Man> "Should I?"
<CaptainAmerica> "No. But seeing you like this, I can only assume..."
<Zoftan> This meets with a squint of disdain from the eye that hasn't been replaced by external cybernetics. "Such typical American arrogance. I'm not surprised. How many lives have you ruined and forgotten?"
<Moon_Knight> "Irrelevant. You apparently remember us."
<CaptainAmerica> "What the hell did Fury make us do?"
* &PhilCoulson coughs quietly.
<&Iron_Man> "Fury made you do?"
* Deadpool aims his rocket launcher to the 'sexy lady' :3
<Spider-Man> "Mind introducing yourself?"
<&Iron_Man> "Captain, what the hell is going on here?"
<Zoftan> "Yes, allow me to re-introduce us. I was the Prime Minister of Latveria - Lucia von Bardas. You Americans burned Castle Doom and left me for dead."
<Zoftan> "I had the criminals gather you here so I could return the favor."

Well, that might help fill in some of the gaps in their memory of what happened a year ago.

<CaptainAmerica> "It's not a pleasant story, Tony."
<Spider-Man> The eyes on Spider Man's mask widen.
<&Iron_Man> "Well, let's skip to the end then."
* Deadpool turns to Fury... "No Refunds!"
<Zoftan> You were a financial backer for that mission, Iron man, but you bankroll a lot of military stuff, so it's easy to forget.
<&Iron_Man> Aaaaaah. Also, I have the attention span of a 5-year-old.

Very true.

<Zoftan> "No!" shouts Fury, leaping down to the street. "They're not supposed to be involved in this! It's me you want!"
<Spider-Man> "Fury, mind explaining why I can't remember any of this?"
<Moon_Knight> "Sounds like something I would do."
<&PhilCoulson> "Sir, now /really/ isn't the time to--"
<Zoftan> Apparently the Prime Minister is not convinced, and the point of reasoning with her went out the window a long time ago. "They're all culpable! All of you, with your imperialism and your precious American hegemon, and...well, it all comes to an end today! Everything you've worked for is about to end, when I destroy your city and you with it!"
<&Iron_Man> ...
<&Iron_Man> "Alright. I've heard enough."

At this point, Iron Man decides to do that thing that every party tries eventually - shooting the villain in the middle of their monologue. This can be a source of frustration for GMs, to the point where some just stop trying to develop their villains because they think doing so is just an invitation for a free shot.

<&Iron_Man> BAZOOOOM
<Zoftan> Are you rolling it?
<&Iron_Man> Cutting edge tech, team, tech master, cybersenses
<&Iron_Man> repulsors
<&Iron_Man> Oh yes.
<&Iron_Man> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Iron_Man [1d8]: 8>
<Zoftan> Cool, go for it.
<&Iron_Man> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Iron_Man [1d10]: 2>
<&Iron_Man> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Iron_Man [1d8]: 5>
<&Iron_Man> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Iron_Man [1d6]: 1>
<&Iron_Man> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Iron_Man [1d8]: 8>
<&Iron_Man> Oh dear.
<&Iron_Man> Er, 16 with a d10

That's a terrible approach, though. The trick isn't to stop developing your villains, it's to give the party a fair chance at nailing them mid-speech...

<Zoftan> Solo, Deformed Cyborg, Force Field, Power of the Dragon, Science Master
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 5>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 1>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 5>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d12]: 9>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 9>
<Tom> O_O
<&Iron_Man> ... Oh fuckberries
<Spider-Man> bwuhhhhhhhhhh
<Zoftan> FWOOOOOOM
<&Iron_Man> "Okay, that wasn't supposed to happen."

...and to be prepared for it to happen.

<Zoftan> There's about a half-second in between the repulsor blast firing and actually connecting, and in that time, Lucia reaches into her cloak and produces...well, something, you can't really see what because a second later she just takes the shot full in the palms and shrugs it off like it was nothing.
<&Iron_Man> "That DEFINITELY wasn't supposed to happen. Fury. Explanation? Please?"
<Zoftan> Spending d6 doom - Iron Man's gambit was noble and had potential, but he takes d10 mental stress from seeing a counter that he doesn't quite understand!
<Zoftan> (Counterattack, in other words)
<&Iron_Man> !!!
<Moon_Knight> ...ouch
<&Iron_Man> "FURY, HELP"
* &PhilCoulson quietly edges toward the hospital building.
<Zoftan> "Ha ha ha ha! The renowned Tony Stark, so convinced of his brilliance, running up against a power beyond his comprehension!"

Lucia's jacked up on Latverian tech and...something, but Deadpool sees that (even though it didn't work out) Iron Man had a pretty decent shot at her, and tries his luck.

* Deadpool shoots his rocket!

Note: not a euphemism this time.

<Deadpool> team, totally insane (just love the fact he's using incendiary rockets in the middle of New York,) One Man Arsenal, Enhanced Reflexes, Combat Master!
<Deadpool> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d8]: 1>
<&PhilCoulson> XD
<Deadpool> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d8]: 8>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d10]: 7>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d10]: 6>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d10]: 10>
<Tom> Nice.
<Spider-Man> GO DEADPOOL GO DEADPOOL GO
<Deadpool> 18 and a d10 as effect

That's considerably stiffer than Iron Man's attack. If anything's going to knock Lucia off mid-monologue, it's going to be this.

<Zoftan> Same reaction pool.
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 8>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 3>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d12]: 12>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 1>
<Tom> Holy shit.
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 3>
<Spider-Man> :|
<Spider-Man> :||||||||||
<&Iron_Man> uh
<Moon_Knight> this is going well
<Zoftan> Alright, this time? She catches the rocket in midair.
<Deadpool> ...
<Zoftan> The thrusters are still flaming and everything, but she just kinda crushes it in the cyborg hand.
<&Iron_Man> O_O
<Deadpool> "What a woman!"
<Spider-Man> Lucia von Bardas is sort of a badass.

Well,

* CaptainAmerica simply stands before von Bardas, hanging his head as his teammates unload on her.
< CaptainAmerica > "Fury is right."
< CaptainAmerica > "He IS the man you want."
* &Iron_Man just looks at Cap.
* CaptainAmerica turns his head to shout toward Fury: "I told you this wouldn't end well! I never backed your plan from the start!"

You may be familiar with the canon Secret War event, where the tech with which von Bardas had loaded up the supervillains doubled as the components for a massive bomb, which she intended to destroy New York City with. This translates to the actual event as a timed sequence in which the team has three rounds to disarm (via physical stress or complications) something like eight bombs.

There were two unappealing elements to that. One, that's a dumb scenario because they're fighting stationary objects with force fields, and furthermore, what if they fail and the bombs go off? How are they supposed to survive a multiple-megaton blast? Two, and more importantly, this isn't canon. The Avengers are playing through a scenario that happened in canon, sure, but the fluidity of roleplaying games means that the plot can go in all kinds of different ways from what 'really' happened. That's why we're playing a game instead of just reading the trade. For example, the Hulk was more fun to have in the Raft than the Sentry, way back in Issue 1.

As such, prepare for canon to go take a back seat in the interest of memorable narrative.

<Zoftan> "Enough of your limited understanding! Did you think science and technology were the only assets of the nation you chose to invade?"
<&Iron_Man> "Invade?"
<&Iron_Man> "What the hell are you talkingabout?"
<Zoftan> She holds the item aloft: it's a strange statue made of jade, depicting some kind of serpentine winged creature. A dragon, apparently.
<&Iron_Man> Oh fuck
<&Iron_Man> MAGIC

Yes. MAGIC.

<Zoftan> "The legacy of Doctor Doom reaches beyond scientific comprehension! Behold, the weapon of your destruction! The beast whose limbs shatter mountains, and whose back scrapes the sun!"
<Zoftan> The statue glows a sharp, blinding green, and a portal opens below her, dropping von Bardas 'into the street', so to speak...
<Zoftan> ...and a second later, the ground shakes, rubble falls from the buildings around you, and the streetlights are blocked out as she rises hundreds of feet into the sky.
<Zoftan> And under her...



<&Iron_Man> Oh goddamn
<&Iron_Man> "There is a dragon. WHY IS THERE A DRAGON."
<Deadpool> "Is he called 'fluffy'? Let it be called 'fluffy' I'm calling it 'Fluffy!' Hi Fluffy!"

At this point, Moon Knight asks an important question. Advice for prospective GMs: if one of your players asks this, always say yes. It will make the game better every time, unless you're playing with shitheads, in which case you should probably address that first.

<Moon_Knight> ...can I do something crazy?
<Zoftan> yes, you can do something crazy
<Moon_Knight> Okay. When she's rising back out of the ground, on her way up
<Moon_Knight> Running leap with the katana.

Let's take a minute to work out the dice logistics...

* CaptainAmerica just glares up at Lucia. "And now we have to clean up your mess, Fury."
<Zoftan> Fury shakes his head, staring up at the Prime Minister of Latveria riding a hundred-foot-tall dragon in Hell's Kitchen.
<Spider-Man> That is a great sentence.
<Zoftan> "You're r--" is all he gets out, and then Moon Knight leaps past him, katana in hand!
<&Iron_Man> "But that isn't physically possibl - SPECTOR, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING"
<Moon_Knight> okay, the porcupine quill shredded my glide cape, so I'm disabling it to gain a PP
<Zoftan> Alright, you get one shot at this. :P Make the most of it, it will affect how the subsequent fight goes.
<Moon_Knight> is there still a d12 in the doom pool?
<Zoftan> There's two d10s which can be stepped up into one, yes.
<&PhilCoulson> :D
<CaptainAmerica> Ooh.
<Moon_Knight> Alright, I'm calling for vengeance to add that to my attack roll
<Spider-Man> GO MOON KNIGHT
<Moon_Knight> Solo d10, Dangerous Past d8, Weapon d12, Enh. Strength d10, Combat Master d10, Call for Vengeance d12, and presumably a stunt die with my PP for being batshit insane here?
* Spider-Man zips up a skyscraper, maintaining a holding pattern as he waits for an openi-- wait is that Moon Knight with a katana
<Moon_Knight> (stepping the 2d10 into 1d12 as well)
<Zoftan> Yeah, you can stunt it.

This is the biggest death-or-glory attack we've seen in the entire campaign so far. Moon Knight is banking everything on this shot - not only is he in deep shit if messes up the whole 'leap into melee with something thousands of times your size' thing, but calling for Khonshu's vengeance means that the d12 he borrowed from the Doom Pool has to be added as mental stress once the attack is resolved, regardless of what happens. It's a huge risk, but if he can get his total and effect die high enough, he might be able to take out Lucia in one fell swoop. Can he make it?

<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d10]: 3>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d8]: 2>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d12]: 6>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d12]: 11>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d10]: 1>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d10]: 6>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d8]: 2>
<Zoftan> take a PP, adding that d10 to the doom pool
<Moon_Knight> spending that PP to add the three to my result
<Moon_Knight> so 11 6 3 = 20 with a d12

That's a even higher total than Deadpool got. If von Bardas can't get at least a 15, that's an extraordinary success - and with that effect die she'll be instantly taken out of the fight.

The Avengers collectively hold their breath...

<Zoftan> Same reaction roll!
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 4>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 4>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 5>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d12]: 3>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 5>
<&PhilCoulson> ...

...and Moon Knight succeeds! The team's done a lot of cool things over the course of the campaign so far, but that was definitely one of the most memorable.

<Zoftan> It happens so fast that everybody can barely register what just happened. Moon Knight is totally undaunted by the portal, as soon as he sees von Bardas rising from it, he knows what's coming! He runs forward and makes a heroic leap, raising the sword!
<&Iron_Man> "SPECTOR, NO"
<Zoftan> Passing over the dragon's shoulder, he swings at von Bardas in midair, and cuts the jade statue in two!

The source of her power is destroyed. Could this be a victory for the heroes before the fight's even begun?

<&Iron_Man> !!!!
<Spider-Man> maybe not?
<Zoftan> He makes it over the shoulder safely and lands in a front roll as she stares in horror. "What? No! What have you done? That isn't--"
<&PhilCoulson> ...
<Zoftan> "I AM UNLEASHED"
<&PhilCoulson> Methinks that was --yyyyyyyyyyyyyyep
<Moon_Knight> ...eep
<Zoftan> With a swipe of its claws, the dragon snatches von Bardas off his shoulder!
<CaptainAmerica> Good job. You broke it. O_O
<Spider-Man> we're done
<&Iron_Man> THE ANCIENT BINDINGS ARE UNDONE
<&PhilCoulson> "...And /that/ is why you make sure what the thamaturgic idol /does/ before breaking it.
<Deadpool> "Woot! Ooop nope that's no good!"
<Moon_Knight> "...I just fed you. Be nice."
<&Iron_Man> ".... Alright. I've seen everything."
<Zoftan> "No! We're so close!" she screams at it. "Obey me! Destroy the Avengers and take vengeance for L--"
<Zoftan> CRUNCH
<Zoftan> It's just a quick squeeze, with a jerk of the wrist, and she goes limp. The dragon tosses her body aside, where it lands next to Cap and Fury, then roars at the rest of you so hard you nearly fall over.
<Zoftan> "AT LAST, THE ANCIENT BINDINGS ARE UNDONE"
<Zoftan> "NOW, MORTALS"
<Zoftan> "FACE THE UNRIVALLED POWER OF FIN FANG FOOM"
<Deadpool> "Woot! Ooops nope that's no good ether!"

<&PhilCoulson> "..Well. We're doomed."

Next Issue: JESUS CHRIST THERE'S A DRAGON IN HELL'S KITCHEN SEND HELP

Quoted for oh so much truth. What makes boss fights like these so memorable is that the bosses are competent enough to enforce that cliche'd speech, and that they're competent enough to laugh in the face of your supposed genre savvy-ness.



I learned it from the master.

I'm fairly sure something like this is going to happen.

Time to FIGHT A DRAGON, KIDS

Dramatis Personae

CLOD as STEVE "CAPTAIN AMERICA" ROGERS - who is going to do the coolest thing ever this session. Mark my words. It'll happen.

KIROK as DOCTOR STEPHEN STRANGE - our guest star for this session. By the hoary hosts of Hoggoth!

TECHOPTRYX as MARC "MOON KNIGHT" SPECTOR - with a supervillain body count of three and rising - he'd be the black hat of the team if it matched his color scheme.

DWICK as AGENT PHIL COULSON - still the agent of SHIELD, and still the herder of cats, guaranteed to have at least one righteous moment per issue.

DIPPY as WADE "DEADPOOL" WILSON - possessor of many exotic weapons, whose destructive abilities are inversely proportional to his ability to aim them.

STEEL as PETER "SPIDER-MAN" PARKER - your friendly neighborhood webslinger, who will doubtlessly be blamed for the dragon rampage when tomorrow's issue of the Daily Bugle comes out.

MARDUK as UATU THE WATCHER - who is always watching, but must never interfere.

Issue 8 - Space Dragon Slayer With Magic Sword

<Zoftan> I'm not totally sure we really need to recap this time because the events of what happened last issue are forever burned into your characters' heads.
<Zoftan> Years from now you will wake up in the middle of the night from a flashback about how you were just taunting Paste Pot Pete and then suddenly a dragon burst from a portal and began rampaging through New York City.
<&Iron_Man> Uh, yeah.
<&Iron_Man> Here, let ME recap.
<&Iron_Man> "We beat a bunch of losers, a cybergirl showed up, Abad ruined her day, and then dragons happened."
<&Iron_Man> I can deal with this. :D

Both of these are adequate summaries. Continuing from right where the last issue left off,
Fin Fang Foom has begun stomping through Hell's Kitchen and is generally raising hell. Moon Knight is dazed as hell from the d12 mental stress he took while dealing with Lucia von Bardas, and Echo is trying to get him up and running again.

<&Iron_Man> "I just can't believe it. I knew Doom was powerful, but... a dragon. A DRAGON."
<&Iron_Man> "This is insane."
<Zoftan> The twenty-ton elephant in the room, or the dragon in the city block rather, is currently in the midst of pushing over an apartment building. Dust flies up from the streets, and already you can hear the sirens from emergency services and panicked shouts from New Yorkers.
<Captain_America> "I -knew- this would end badly."
<Captain_America> "But, uh. Not THIS badly."
<&Iron_Man> "Orders, Cap?"
<Deadpool> "Can I keep him as pet?"
* Captain_America look at Iron Man. "Do you -really- need to ask, Tony?"
<&PhilCoulson> "What would you feed it?"
* &Iron_Man turns and glares at Deadpool.
<Zoftan> Nick Fury looks grim, but has a PDA out and is apparently typing a message to somebody. "We need to kill that thing."
<&Iron_Man> "Yeah, that's great and all, but HOW."
<Zoftan> "We can't just bring in a helicarrier and bombard the neighborhood. I'll see if a requisitions unit can drop special munitions."
<&PhilCoulson> "May want to hit up the juju department while you're at it, sir."
<Deadpool> "Well Phil Coulson the answer is easy, Tacos of course!"
<&Iron_Man> "... We have a Juju Department?"
<Zoftan> Fury nods at Coulson. "Good thinking. Fortunately, I know a guy..."
* &PhilCoulson just looks at Stark.
* &PhilCoulson puts his hands behind his head and whistles, not thinking about the D&D Monster Manual hidden in one of the SHIELD armored cars. No, sir.

No sirree. Suffice to say that since Thor showed up there's been some diversifying of specialties in SHIELD's personnel.

As Fury calls in backup, there's a whoosh overhead - Jim Rhodes, aka War Machine, has arrived on the scene. It'll be good to have another Stark tech hero on the scene, particularly since he'll certainly be sympathetic to their--

<Zoftan> "Tony, WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST SEE ON THE NEWS"
<Zoftan> "WHAT DID YOU DO THIS TIME"
<&Iron_Man> "Hey, HEY, don't point any fingers at me, Rhodes. You want to talk to the guy in the bedsheet over there."
<&Iron_Man> "You think I know ANYTHING about dragons?"
<&Iron_Man> "What're you doing here, anyways?!"
<Zoftan> "Recruiting drive for the high schools. Carol and I were here to give speeches for the Air Force at Midtown High."
<Zoftan> He's referring to Carol Danvers, aka Ms. Marvel, also an airman and an acquaintance of yours.
* Abad-BRB is now known as Moon_Knight
<&Iron_Man> "Well, great. Hope you told the kids about being rad and not doing drugs or whatever. We're kind of IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING."
* &PhilCoulson jabs a thumb at triple-f.
* &Iron_Man now imagines War Machine, in armor, telling kids it's rad not to do drugs.
<Spider-Man> "Yeah, in case you haven't noticed, New York is being attacked by Puff the Magic Dragon."
<Zoftan> War Machine glances around at your unorthodox group. "Look, yeah, kill the monster, but there are civilians in the way of that thing. The two of us are evacuating all the kids we can, plus the residents in the next few blocks, but two flyers can't handle it by themselves. Can you spare anybody?"
<&Iron_Man> ...
* &Iron_Man looks at the others.
<&Iron_Man> "Yeah. I need some time to retune my armor anyways."
<Zoftan> Even with the mask on you can tell he's giving you, specifically, the :| look.
<&Iron_Man> "My repulsors don't seem to do anything against... whatever this is."
<Captain_America> "What DOES do anything against that?"
<Zoftan> "Now that's the friend I know. C'mon, Tony, over to the lower east side."
<&Iron_Man> "Yeah, I'm coming. You guys need anything, let me know. I'll keep the comms open so you can talk to each other."
<&Iron_Man> "Fury. We are going to talk about this when this is over."
<&Iron_Man> "In large, big words."
<&Iron_Man> "Maybe some yelling."

Iron Man blasts off to help evacuate the civilians, and the Avengers are temporarily down one party member. Fortunately, reinforcements are incoming courtesy of Nick Fury, and he's bringing in a real heavy hitter...

<Zoftan> Echo helps Moon Knight to his feet (you drop to d8 mental stress, by the way; since you had to do other stuff while we were starting I figured I'd give you a free recovery action), and Fury glances at the PDA again. "Weapons should be here in ten."
<Zoftan> "As for the rest of the plan, uh...he's usually here by now--"
<Zoftan> FWOOOOM
<Captain_America> "Ten MINUTES? That thing will level the entire city by then!"
<Captain_America> "Wha-"
<Moon_Knight> (thanks!)
<Zoftan> A dazzling portal bursts open on the sidewalk before you!
* Moon_Knight looks startled, readies katana
<Zoftan> The blinding light subsides, and from the vortex pops Doctor Strange, the Sorcerer Supreme!
<&PhilCoulson> O_o
<Captain_America> What.
<Spider-Man> o_o
<&Doctor_Strange> "Hello, Gentlemen."
<&PhilCoulson> "...Well then."
<&Doctor_Strange> "Sorry I'm late. Had to help Wong with the groceries."
<&Doctor_Strange> "Pardon my presumption, but I assume you're the cause of the Sundering of the Ancient Binding of Watharnak?"
<Zoftan> "Finally," says Nick Fury. "Gentlemen, I think most of you know Stephen Strange. And yeah, we have a situation down here."
* Moon_Knight looks at Strange and raises a hand "Ah, actually that was me. Sort of."

Never mind the dragon, though, they've got the Sorcerer Supreme's attention for the moment. Deadpool immediately gets to the most important question of them all.

<Deadpool> "Oh... will you do magic tricks? can you do the rabbit out of your hat trick?"
* &Doctor_Strange looks at Deadpool.
* &Doctor_Strange sighs.
<&PhilCoulson> "He does that."
* Deadpool looks at Stephen, "Well can you?"
<&Doctor_Strange> "Later, Wade."
< Deadpool> "Worst magician ever!"

Somewhere in dimensions that were not meant to be known to mankind, Dormammu cackles madly.

* &Doctor_Strange looks at Moon_Knight.
<&Doctor_Strange> "I see. Please - what happened?"
* Moon_Knight points at Deadpool "He helped."
<&PhilCoulson> "An unfortunate severing of diplomatic ties with a certain country."
<&Doctor_Strange> "Do not leave out a single detail, as it may spell the difference between annihilation and rescuing this world from ulimate destruction."
<Spider-Man> "Moon Knight did it."
<Moon_Knight> "Cyborg von Bardas turned up, I went for her and hit the statue with Silver Samurai's katana. His head should still be around here somewhere, if that's important, but yeah.
<Zoftan> "It's actually rolled down the street," observes Echo. "Over next to Diamondback. Man, when she wakes up it's gonna be hilarious."
<&Doctor_Strange> "What... statue?"
<Moon_Knight> "She was holding a jade statue of the dragon, which she was using to absorb other powers. Katana went through it like butter."
<&PhilCoulson> "Jade statue, serpent, so on so forth."
<Captain_America> "And then, well. That."
* Captain_America points dragon-ward.
<&Doctor_Strange> "Ah yes. That."
<Zoftan> In the background, Fin Fang Foom bellows "SCATTER BEFORE THE MIGHT OF FIN FANG FOOM" and throws a bus into a retirement home.
<Captain_America> Grandma, no!
* &Doctor_Strange remains unruffled.
<Deadpool> "Cool!"
<&PhilCoulson> (no actual deaths are shown on screen)

Coulson is right. Also most of the city has Act of Metahuman/Alien/Extradimensional Entity insurance at this point. No, really, Damage Control Incorporated covers NYC and numerous other areas nationwide specifically for incidents like this. They have to pay out pretty regularly, but their premiums are incredibly high, and get higher with every incident, so at this point they're pretty much a Shadowrun-esque megacorp.

Hang on, someone just threw a brick with the word "gniwodahserof" written on it through the window.

<&Doctor_Strange> "Well. In the common parlance, it seems you've really stepped in it this time, my friends."
<Deadpool> "See Strange, he knows how to do a show!"
* &Doctor_Strange produces a cup of tea from nowhere.
<Captain_America> "You're awfully calm about this!"
<Zoftan> Somewhere in the distance, you can see the Hulk emerging from a pile of trashed cars and leaping off to help Iron Man.
<&Doctor_Strange> "I am sorcerer supreme, Steven."
<Moon_Knight> "So... ensorcel something, then."
* &Doctor_Strange sighs.
* &PhilCoulson makes that :| face Coulson always makes when someone starts boasting.
<Captain_America> "We're running out of time. And running out of city. We have to do something."
<&Doctor_Strange> "Very well. Come to me, Avengers! For I have both spells and knowledge! But this foe will require stronger tools than the ones you currently have!"
<Captain_America> "I'm listening!"
<Zoftan> A wave of fire crashes over a post office on Avenue B. Oh hey, he can breathe fire!
<&Doctor_Strange> "Excellent. I could go into the metaphysics of narrative jungian causality here, but we seem pressed for time."
<Deadpool> "Cool! Am I getting new toys?"
<&Doctor_Strange> "Not you. Just... the hero."
* &Doctor_Strange points at Captain America.
<&Doctor_Strange> "After all, it is the knight who should slay the dragon in these stories."
<Moon_Knight> "Uh, I'm a Knight. Literally."
<&Doctor_Strange> And with that, I summon up the greatest sword of patriotism ever created.
* &PhilCoulson glances at, uh, Moon Knight.

I left it up to Strange as to what, specifically, he would summon to aid Captain America in his dragonslaying endeavors. As you're about to see, I was not disappointed in the slightest.

<&Doctor_Strange> GEORGE WASHINGTON'S CALVARY SABER
<Zoftan> Yes!
<&PhilCoulson> XD
* Captain_America can't help but bug his eyes out. "Wow."
<Moon_Knight> Hah
<Zoftan> Captain America possesses a new asset for this action scene: d10 George Washington's Enchanted Cavalry Saber
<Captain_America> :D
<Spider-Man> :D
<&Doctor_Strange> "BY THE WINDS OF THE POTOMAC, I BRING THIS WEAPON THROUGH TIME TO AID IT'S COUNTRY AGAIN."
<&Doctor_Strange> "MAY IT BE OF USE TO YOU, AS IT AIDED THE FOUNDING FATHERS."
* &Doctor_Strange throws some glowing sparkles on it, just for effect.
<Spider-Man> i love this so much
* Captain_America does a few practice chops with it. Even throws in a few spinning slashes. He's a natural!
* &PhilCoulson pulls out his phone and snaps a picture of Steve holding the sword.
* Deadpool ohhhs when he sees the sparkles.
<Captain_America> "This thing is SO NEAT."
<Zoftan> Fury motions to the sky, where a SHIELD chopper is dropping off a parachuting crate. "Here comes the munitions dropoff."
<&Doctor_Strange> "Careful with that. Washington will need that back. Now, gentlemen. A word of warning."
* Moon_Knight mutters something about a god blessing his stuff.
<&Doctor_Strange> "Fing Fang Foom is unlike anything you've ever fought. You must be vigilant. He is a great terror, but a liar as well."
<&Doctor_Strange> "Do not give him any quarter. He is the Serpent, and the Dragon. He exists only to destroy, both in mind and body."
<&Doctor_Strange> "Stuff your ears to his claims."
* &Doctor_Strange sips his tea.
<&Doctor_Strange> "Shall we?"
<Deadpool> "But.... but if I stuff my ears I can't hear what he's saying."
<Captain_America> "Like I'd listen to a word he has to say! Avengers!"
* Captain_America raises the saber skyward! "ASSEMBLE!"
* Moon_Knight looks resentful.
* Moon_Knight assembles anyways.
* &PhilCoulson snaps a head to Captain America, having been distracted by the munitions drop. "Uh, right! Assemble."
<Spider-Man> For a brief moment, Spider-Man is convinced lightning will hit the Cap.

Thankfully, it does not, and with Earth's arcane defender and an enchanted weapon on their side, the Avengers charge forward to defend their city! Spider-Man goes first, due to his superior reflexes, and moves quickly to secure the fleeing civilians - after all, with great power comes great responsibility.

<Zoftan> "COWER BEFORE THE BEAST WHOSE BACK SCRAPES THE SUN"
<Zoftan>A water tower is backhanded into the nearby streets, sending a crowd of bystanders fleeing in terror.
<Spider-Man> !!!
<&Doctor_Strange> "Oh dear."
<&Doctor_Strange> DOOOOO SOMETHIIIIING
* Spider-Man leaps forward, slings into the air and shoots a web under the water tower's path; hopefully stopping it, and if not, slowing it down.
<&Doctor_Strange> AWESOME
<Zoftan> Nice!
<Zoftan> Alright, you roll against the Doom Pool for that one.
<Zoftan> (At present, the Doom Pool is d6 d10 d12)
<Spider-Man> Alrighty!
<Captain_America> You can do it!
<Zoftan> If you succeed, your effect die will become an asset that others can use.

Although Spider-Man has to spend a plot point, he successfully makes his roll and saves the citizens from being crushed.

<Zoftan> You have to concentrate harder than ever to get all the debris--there's so much of it!
<Zoftan> (hence, spending a plot point)
<&Doctor_Strange> GO SPIDER-MAN
<Zoftan> But with your superhuman reflexes you create a huge net of webbing between two buildings, catching the water tower. It sags slightly, but holds!
<Zoftan> The streets are pretty soaked but water towers don't hold enough to cause floods or anything, so the citizens are safe. PLUS there is now a d10 scene asset - "web spring with broken water tower"
<&PhilCoulson> :D
<Zoftan> If you can find a way to use it against F3, you can include it in your roll.
<&Doctor_Strange> Excellent.

Even better, his heroism has earned the team a useful asset. That web bridge could be used as a means of escape, or stretched like a slingshot, or just perched on like a vantage point - any way they can figure out how to use it gives them an extra d10 in their dice pool. Speaking of assets, Moon Knight takes his turn, and has Echo bolster his dice pool a little before going in for the attack.

<Moon_Knight> Alright. I'm going to climb that web spring, then use it to glide towards FFF and try to entangle him with my swingline.
<Moon_Knight> "Echo! Distract him!"
<Zoftan> "On it!"
<Zoftan> Maya's up the side of a pizzeria almost instantly (she just watched Spider-Man in action for a whole session, after all) and throws a flurry of shurikens at the dragon's eyes. He turns to swat at her, leaving him d8 Distracted for your action.
<Moon_Knight> so that'd be buddy d8, Fist of Khonshu d8, weapon d12, enhanced strength d10, combat master d10, d8 distraction, and web d10?
<Zoftan> Yup!
<Captain_America> So many diiiice!
<Moon_Knight> Okay. Step two d10's into a d12, and rolling
<Moon_Knight> #roll d18
<Spider-Man> MK is a master of the dice pool.
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d8
<&Doctor_Strange> He really is.
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d8]: 5>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d8]: 1>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d12]: 6>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d12]: 8>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d8]: 1>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d10]: 5>
<&Doctor_Strange> Ooooh dear.
<Zoftan> Take one PP as I add a d8 to the doom pool
<Spider-Man> Oh jeez.
<Moon_Knight> Okay. Drop a PP to include an extra die
<Moon_Knight> so that's 18 with a d12 effect
<Zoftan> Alrighty
<Captain_America> Not bad!

For comparison's sake, remember that Moon Knight's six-dice pool for this action is reasonably large by the game's standards. This will be important in a few minutes.

<Zoftan> You bounce from Spider-Man's web, swingline in hand, and glide towards Fin Fang Foom like he's a scaly AT-AT
<Zoftan> "INSECTS. I LAUGH AT YOUR PATHETIC EFFORTS"
<Zoftan> The green gem on his chest glows brightly, and three spheres of energy form around him, circling his body...
* &Doctor_Strange looks on in horror.
<Moon_Knight> "Oh this might not work as well as I'd hoped."

Fortunately, it works out even better - he glides between the orbs and doesn't get fried. What's more, Fin Fang Foom rolled an opportunity, so Moon Knight takes advantage by inflicting a complication - having Khonshu turn one of his own orbs against him.

<Zoftan> You manage to tie up his ankles by gliding in a circle as he swats at Echo, causing him to stumble against a building. Rubble falls everywhere as he barely manages to hold himself up!
<Zoftan> Just then, out of the corner of your eye, you're almost positive you can see the floating form of Raoul Bushman, his face torn off, hovering around one of the orbs. He's dressed as Dr. Strange, oddly enough.
<Zoftan> "Here's one on the house, kid. Wreak some havoc for me!"
<&Doctor_Strange> "I don't find that amusing."
<Zoftan> The orb begins to glow WHITE instead of green, leaving his defenses open.
<Zoftan> "YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT INSULT"
<Moon_Knight> "That's how a real Knight does it, Rogers!"
<&Doctor_Strange> XD
<Deadpool> :D :D :D
<Spider-Man> :D
* Captain_America rolls his eyes. "Okay, I'll let YOU have the magic sword next time! Happy now?"
<&Doctor_Strange> "Man has the ear of an Egyptian god and thinks he's in charge of the world."
<Moon_Knight> "You expect this to happen again?!"
<Captain_America> "Well."
<Captain_America> "Yeah."

It will absolutely happen again.

<&Doctor_Strange> "Less talk! Every minute we delay he grows stronger!"
<Zoftan> "NEVER AGAIN WILL A CONQUERER WITH THE MIGHT OF FIN FANG FOOM GRACE YOUR WORTHLESS REALM"
<&Doctor_Strange> "FLY, YOU FOOLS!"
* &PhilCoulson 's head turns at the Gandalf reference.
* Captain_America asides to Dr. Strange: "Right." And then he charges! Whirling his shield toward a nearby power line, hoping to shower the dragon with sparks! Every little bit counts!
<Moon_Knight> "You're not even using the sword!"
<Captain_America> "I'M GETTING TO IT"
<Captain_America> "What do you want me to do, trim his toenails?!"
<&Doctor_Strange> We are the most bickeringest of avengers.

They're really only functional during the most absolutely crucial moments, and even then they can't stop arguing. Which is perfectly okay by me. Anyway, Cap successfully kicks up a flurry of sparks into Fin Fang Foom's eyes with his shield.

<Zoftan> "TOYS. YOU THREATEN ME WITH TOYS"
<Captain_America> Still 17, d12 effect die. :D
<Zoftan> "YOU ARE NOT WORTHY TO BE PUT INTO FIN FANG FOOM'S PANTS"
<Moon_Knight> :D
<Captain_America> Aaaaa
<Moon_Knight> ... XD
<Deadpool> hahaha :D

Fin Fang Foom is not wearing pants.

<Zoftan> "GRAAAAHHHHHH"
<Zoftan> A hand the size of a bus covers his eyes for a moment, and he gains d12 Blinded by the Light
<&Doctor_Strange> Niiiiiiice.
<Spider-Man> Hahaha, oh man.
<Captain_America> Here comes another one of our patented BIG BOSS BEATDOWNS

This statement is kind of hilarious in light of what's about to happen.

Let's take a minute to talk boss mechanics.

Fin Fang Foom is a large scale threat, which in MHRP terms means they aren't just stressed out normally. Instead, he has multiple affiliation dice (in this case, five) that he uses with each roll. Every time one of his stress levels or complications exceeds d12, he loses an affiliation die, and once all five are gone, only then is he out of the fight. At this point, the team has inflicted three very high complications on him, but has yet to totally seal the deal because once those complications are used to remove an affiliation die, they disappear and have to be reapplied. It's a choice between tactical utility for the team and doing damage to the boss. This makes him much harder to defeat than a normal enemy.

Additionally, his individual powers can be targeted and shut down by attacks. For example, you could tear his wing membranes to remove his subsonic flight, and so on.

Anyway, remember what I was saying earlier about MK's dice pool being considered large? F3 gets to roll all those affiliation dice with his actions, plus he has access to an Area Attack SFX, meaning he can add a d6 for every additional person he targets...

<Zoftan> d6 from the doom pool interrupts the initiative order...
<&Doctor_Strange> ...
<&PhilCoulson> D:
<&Doctor_Strange> uh oh
<Zoftan> "DO YOU THINK I NEED SIGHT IN ORDER TO FIND YOU"
<Moon_Knight> eep
<Deadpool> D:
<Captain_America> or
<Captain_America> uh
<Zoftan> Fin Fang Foom takes a very deep breath...
<&Doctor_Strange> GOJIRA
<&Doctor_Strange> OOOOOOOOOH
<Deadpool> "Don't fart!"
<Zoftan> Solo, Ancient Chinese Secret, Combustible Breath, Combat Master, Area Attack for all six of you
<&PhilCoulson> D:
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 3>
<&Doctor_Strange> O_O
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 9>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 5>
<Moon_Knight> ..eep
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 5>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 5>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 5>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 8>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 2>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d6]: 2>
<&PhilCoulson> "Is it getting hot out here?"
<Zoftan> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d6]: 6>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d6]: 5>
<Captain_America> This is mildly terrifying.
<Zoftan> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d6]: 6>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d6]: 3>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d6]: 3>
<&Doctor_Strange> ...
<&PhilCoulson> Jesus.
<&Doctor_Strange> THAT is a dice pool.
<Deadpool> mannnn...
<Zoftan> His total is 17. Moon Knight, Captain America, and Spider-Man are closest - their effect dice are d10s.
<Zoftan> Deadpool, Coulson, and Doctor Strange are far away - their effect dice are d6s.
<Captain_America> Oh dear.
<Captain_America> And I have no PP. D:

I'm fairly sure none of the team has any PP after seeing that headed their way, if you get what I mean.

Everybody has to dodge now, or be scorched by the huge wave of dragon breath. Moon Knight is up first, and with judicious use of his plot points, he not only swings around to avoid the attack, but steps up the tangled complication and trips Fin Fang Foom, removing an affiliation die!

<Zoftan> Okay! As you swing around, it has the natural effect of wrapping the swingline even further around his legs, and at last the dragon loses his balance!
<&Doctor_Strange> YESSSSSS
<Captain_America> BITCHIN'
<&Doctor_Strange> Moon Knight is cleaning the fuck up.
<Zoftan> With a bellow of fury, he topples over, taking out a housing project in his wake! You can't really see because you're busy worrying about the HUGE GUST OF FLAME sweeping over the streets, but the cloud of dust and rubble that his landing throws up is very noticeable indeed.
<Zoftan> 4d10 affiliation dice remain

Spider-Man webslings up to a nearby building, wisely getting off street level before he's cooked, and gets a view of the action that might help supplement his income a bit.

<Zoftan> Your superior reflexes and webbing get you up to the roof of a nearby storefront as the flames sweep by underneath!
<Zoftan> While you're in the air, you get a very good view of FFF tripping over Moon Knight's swingline and taking out a building as he crashes!
* Spider-Man snaps a quick photo.
<&Doctor_Strange> Also, somewhere, Jonah is writing up a headline:
<&PhilCoulson> XD
<Zoftan> haha, yes.
<&Doctor_Strange> "Spider-Man summons up Dragon! Dungeons possibly involved!"
<&PhilCoulson> MASKED MENACE SUMMONS DRAGON
<Spider-Man> XD
<Captain_America> YES
<Deadpool> :D
<Zoftan> "Dragon Destroys Hell's Kitchen: Spider-Man Making Deals With Mephisto?"
<Spider-Man> :D :D :D
<Zoftan> byline editorial: "Spider-Man Would Never Make A Deal With Mephisto", by Ben Urich
<&PhilCoulson> I was just going to write that

Great minds. Well, great minds and JMS, I guess. Back on the street, Cap shows once again that he adheres to the Omega Red School of Defense.

<Captain_America> Okay! You know what the Cap'n is gonna do?
<Zoftan> Do tell!
<Captain_America> He is going to raise the star and stripes, and CHARGE RIGHT THROUGH THE INFERNO
<&Doctor_Strange> FUCK YES
<Captain_America> "RAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGH"
<&Doctor_Strange> AND THE ROCKET'S RED GLAAAAAAARE
<Zoftan> Hahaha, you have the spirit of this game down
<Captain_America> Team, Lead By Example, Enhanced Durability, Godlike Durability, Combat Master, and Blinded By The Light
<Captain_America> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Captain_America [1d10]: 4>
<Captain_America> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Captain_America [1d8]: 6>
<Captain_America> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Captain_America [1d8]: 3>
<Captain_America> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Captain_America [1d12]: 2>
<Captain_America> ...
<Captain_America> #roll 1d10 please?
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Captain_America [1d10]: 2>
<Captain_America> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Captain_America [1d12]: 10>
<Spider-Man> :|
<Spider-Man> !!!
<Captain_America> UGH THANK GOD
<&Doctor_Strange> PHEW

He just barely beats 17 with the use of his last plot point.

<Zoftan> If your shield wasn't up you would be burned to cinders, but vibranium (and AMERICA) comes through for you, funneling the flames to each side!
<&Doctor_Strange> The Ghost of George Washington looks from afar, nodding in approval.
<&PhilCoulson> :D
<Zoftan> As you emerge from the other side of the fire, you're barely singed and in position to continue the attack.
<Captain_America> Damn right.
<Zoftan> SECOND GROUP
<Zoftan> The far-away people with the d6 effect die
<&PhilCoulson> should I go?
<Zoftan> Coulson, dodge
<&Doctor_Strange> DO EET, COULSON
* &PhilCoulson just holds up a finger to the attack, not even looking at Fin Fang Foom as he searches for the perfect weapon.
<&PhilCoulson> “One moment, please.”
<&PhilCoulson> Team, Deadpan, Unshakeable, Body Armor, Superhuman Durability from Kree-Tech Armor, Combat Master, Blinded By the Light
<Captain_America> I really hope this works.
<&PhilCoulson> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for PhilCoulson [1d8]: 5>
<&PhilCoulson> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for PhilCoulson [1d8]: 7>
<&PhilCoulson> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for PhilCoulson [1d8]: 5>
<&PhilCoulson> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for PhilCoulson [1d8]: 7>
<&PhilCoulson> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for PhilCoulson [1d10]: 1>
<&PhilCoulson> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for PhilCoulson [1d10]: 5>
<&PhilCoulson> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for PhilCoulson [1d12]: 6>
<&PhilCoulson> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for PhilCoulson [1d12]: 1>
<&Doctor_Strange> ... jesus
<&PhilCoulson> ...Well then.
<Spider-Man> Oh boy.

...Uh oh. It's no good being blase if you get roasted seconds later. Fortunately, the ever-unflappable Coulson has an SFX similar to Deadpool's "Unpredictable": Nerves of Steel, which lets him reroll his full dice pool.

The contrast between the initial results and his Nerves of Steel results is...considerable.

<&PhilCoulson> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for PhilCoulson [1d8]: 7>
<&PhilCoulson> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for PhilCoulson [1d8]: 8>
<&PhilCoulson> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for PhilCoulson [1d8]: 6>
<&PhilCoulson> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for PhilCoulson [1d8]: 8>
<&PhilCoulson> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for PhilCoulson [1d10]: 9>
<&PhilCoulson> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for PhilCoulson [1d10]: 10>
<&PhilCoulson> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for PhilCoulson [1d12]: 6>
<&PhilCoulson> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for PhilCoulson [1d12]: 4>
<Spider-Man> THERE WE GO
<Captain_America> THAT'S MORE LIKE IT
<&PhilCoulson> YES
<&Doctor_Strange> HOLY SHIIIIIT
* &PhilCoulson 's suit glows, pulsing with eldritch energy. He looks down at it, goes "huh," and continues searching.
<Captain_America> The hot front only mildly ruffles Coulson's hairdo.

You cannot rattle that man. You can, however, rattle the GM, especially by asking the kind of question Deadpool's about to ask.

<Deadpool> Quick question, does something that causes or is known to exert a large amount of physical and mental strain count as weapon for the purpose of the one man arsenal even if it's not traditionally used as such?
<Zoftan> Yes, particularly because it's Deadpool and he can use anything as a weapon, often to comical ends.
<Zoftan> (Also remember that you still have your OMA rocket launcher)
<Captain_America> Grab your life bar and smack him with it
<&Doctor_Strange> XD
<Spider-Man> :D
<Deadpool> Okay so this will turn out to be a counter attack. :3
* &Doctor_Strange waits for Deadpool to attack with his own character sheet.
<Captain_America> Or with an avalanche of dice.
<Zoftan> Haha, dice avalanche. Making it rain d20 caltrops
<&Doctor_Strange> Yessss
<Spider-Man> XD
<&Doctor_Strange> THESE D4S HURT FIN FANG FOOM'S FEET
<Zoftan> d4s seriously are some kind of medieval security measure ;(
<&Doctor_Strange> Yeah.
<&PhilCoulson> THEY'RE LIKE FUCKING LEGOS
<&Doctor_Strange> Fun to throw, though.

Remember what I said last issue about the 'yes, and...' style of GMing? It pays off like mad once again, as Deadpool does something that I did not even remotely expect and turns the boss fight into something altogether (hilariously) different.

* Deadpool sees the dragon bellow flame, mouth agape, he stands his ground certain he can take the flames, but puts on a pair of sunglasses because fuck yeah, then he takes out a small box out of nowhere and takes a little pill from that box and flings it to the dragon, as it flies through the air you can just read "Property of Dr. Henry Pym"
<Zoftan> Oh my god.
<&PhilCoulson> XD
<&Doctor_Strange> ....
<&Doctor_Strange> Oh
<&Doctor_Strange> Fucking
<Zoftan> Oh my god
<&Doctor_Strange> God
<Moon_Knight> I.... oh boy.
<Spider-Man> :D
<Zoftan> R-roll it :o
<&Doctor_Strange> Dippy has broken Zoftan.
<&PhilCoulson> DEADPOOL HAS BROKEN UATU
<Captain_America> This is going to rule.
<&Doctor_Strange> Uatu's all "man, are you kidding me"
<Zoftan> It was then that I, Uatu the Watcher, was totally fucking gobsmacked

As best I can remember, I was alternating between bursts of semi-hysterical laughter and what's colloquially called the 'Tails Gets Trolled Face' at this point.

<Deadpool> Team, Totally Insane, One Man Arsenal, Godlike Stamina because he's standing in the flames, Combat Master, and F3 is still blinded right?
<Zoftan> Still blinded!
<Deadpool> Let's roll this (also I have still 3 PP after those two things so I can still add dice to my roll if need be)
<Deadpool> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d8]: 4>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d8]: 5>
<Zoftan> You have to beat a seventeen, he said, watching his boss fight become something altogether unexpected
<Deadpool> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d10]: 9>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d12]: 2>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d10]: 10>
<Deadpool> whats the blinded again?
<Zoftan> d12
<Deadpool> #roll 1d12
<Zoftan> (it's also listed on the condition tracker)
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d12]: 1>
<Captain_America> Uh oh.
<Zoftan> That is, uh...
<Zoftan> Okay, one more and it would've been an extraordinary success.
<&Doctor_Strange> O_O
<Deadpool> Well that's still 19 and an effect die of 1d12
<Zoftan> Okay, Fin Fang Foom is just now starting to get up from being tripped by Moon Knight, and he turns right as Deadpool throws the Pym particles.
<Zoftan> "HOW DARE YOU LAY HANDS UPON THE--gulp"
<Spider-Man> :D :D :D
<Moon_Knight> :D
* &Doctor_Strange just blinks.
<&Doctor_Strange> "I... hadn't considered /that/"
<Spider-Man> "Did he just...?"
<Zoftan> A few seconds later he just kind of disappears from the skyline, and then another few seconds later, a human-sized and very confused Fin Fang Foom comes stumbling out of the crater.
<&Doctor_Strange> XD
<Moon_Knight> XD
<Zoftan> "WHAT IS THIS SORCERY"
<&PhilCoulson> XD
<Captain_America> Ahahahahahaha
<Deadpool> Hahahaha :D
<Deadpool> "Not Sorcery, Science!"
<Zoftan> Bill Nye the Science Guy approves of Deadpool.
<&Doctor_Strange> (Somewhere, Iron Man gives a thumbs up for Science)
<Zoftan> "...Is that the stuff from Mythbusters?" asks Echo, hanging off the side of the pizzeria.
<&Doctor_Strange> XD
<&Doctor_Strange> I'm laughing so hard right now
<Moon_Knight> :D :D :D
<Zoftan> New complication: d12 Honey I Shrunk the Dragon
<Captain_America> I love it. :D

This is the best game ever.

I want everyone to know that there was a good five minutes of everyone just dying when Deadpool pulled that trick.

The last person to defend against the wave of fire is Doctor Strange, who shows off his astral-projection skills. As the Master of the Mystic Arts, he is perhaps the best equipped of the team to battle Fin Fang Foom.

<&Doctor_Strange> Well, first thing I'm going to do is to go INTANGIBLE
<&Doctor_Strange> Solo, Sorcerer Supreme, Mystic Master, Intangibility
<&Doctor_Strange> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Doctor_Strange [1d10]: 1>
<&Doctor_Strange> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Doctor_Strange [1d8]: 8>
<&Doctor_Strange> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Doctor_Strange [1d10]: 2>
<&Doctor_Strange> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Doctor_Strange [1d12]: 5>
<&Doctor_Strange> Er
<&Doctor_Strange> Oh dear
<Zoftan> You did start with a PP if you wanted to spend it to add a d8 push die to your total
<&Doctor_Strange> I think I'll do that, yes.
<Deadpool> "That's not how you do it!"
<&Doctor_Strange> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Doctor_Strange [1d8]: 4>
<&Doctor_Strange> :|
<Spider-Man> :|
<Zoftan> WELL,
<Captain_America> Charbroiled sorcerer. :/
<&Doctor_Strange> "By the hoary hosts of-" WHAOOOOMMMMOOOOF

So, of course, he's the one who gets scorched.

<Zoftan> You go intangible, but remember, Fin Fang Foom's flames are magical!
<&Doctor_Strange> I REMEMBER THAT NOW, THANK YOU
<Zoftan> Your physical form is not harmed by the fire, but as you return to tangibility, the etheric effects of the dragon's flame have seared you!
<Zoftan> Take d6 mental stress.
<&Doctor_Strange> "Curses!"

It's his turn immediately afterwards, though, so now he has a chance to exact some revenge.

<&Doctor_Strange> Alright.
<&Doctor_Strange> GLOVES ARE COMING OFF NOW
<&PhilCoulson> :O
<&Doctor_Strange> I'm creating a complication - THE CRIMSON BANDS OF CYTTORAK
<Zoftan> Nice :D
<&Doctor_Strange> "BY CYTTORAK, MAY THESE CHAINS BIND THEE, FOUL CREATURE OF THE PIT!"
<&Doctor_Strange> "MAY THESE CHAINS OF MIGHT CONTAIN YOUR FORM, OH FOUL CREATURE"

This is a good call. Remember, though - he's been shrunk down and is very confused, but Fin Fang Foom's still got some serious mystic chops. Not quite enough that I didn't have to spend an entire d12 from the doom pool, but nonetheless, the gem on his chest glows, and...

<Zoftan> The jewel glows once again, and the orbs disappear...only to reappear with all three green again!
<&PhilCoulson> literally make it, though, from the ethers of the universe
<Moon_Knight> noooooooo
<Zoftan> They shatter the crimson bands of Cyttorak!
<&Doctor_Strange> "His heart of power!"
<&Doctor_Strange> "It powers him!"
<&Doctor_Strange> "DESTROY HIS JEWELED HEART, AVENGERS, LEST MY MAGICS BE USELESS AGAINST HIM!"
<&PhilCoulson> ...so we lose compromised orb?
<Zoftan> You do. I spent extra doom to remove the complication.
<&PhilCoulson> :(
<Zoftan> "THE HEART OF POWER IS SUPERIOR TO ALL OF CYTORRAK'S WHIMS, SORCERER"
<Zoftan> Somewhere across the planet, the Juggernaut's ears perk up.
<&Doctor_Strange> "BUT YOUR ARROGANCE SHALL LEAD TO YOUR DOWNFALL dear me am I still on fire?"

He is, but it's nothing magic can't cure. Anyway, although the Bands of Cyttorak didn't quite stop F3, they certainly made him exert a lot of effort to break them. Everyone gets an XP because d12 doom was spent, and Deadpool leaps down to attack the man-sized Fin Fang Foom.

* Deadpool is going to walk up to that dragon and slice and dice him with his swords. "Welcome to New Amsterdam, Mother F***" |Don't use that language in the comics| "But this isn't a comic!"
<&Doctor_Strange> :D
<Deadpool> So Solo, Totally Insane, Swords, Enhanced Strength, Combat Master, Blinded by the Light and Honey I shrunk the Dragon.
<Zoftan> ^^
<Deadpool> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d10]: 2>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d8]: 4>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d10]: 3>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d8]: 4>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d10]: 9>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d12]: 11>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d12]: 5>
<Spider-Man> Ooh.
<Captain_America> There we go.
<&Doctor_Strange> *phew*
<Deadpool> Okay I spend one PP and get 24 and use the d12 as effect die
<Deadpool> "Dodge this"
<Moon_Knight> yessss
<Zoftan> Dear god. Okay, you leap down, swords whirling like a human garbage disposal...
<Deadpool> "Psssst... I totally stole that line from a movie."
<Zoftan> Solo, Faster Than He Looks, Godlike Durability, Combat Master
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 10>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 9>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 5>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 1>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 7>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d12]: 7>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 5>
<Zoftan> BY ONE T_T
<&Doctor_Strange> HUZZAH
<&Doctor_Strange> FUCK YOU, FIN FANG FOOM
<Zoftan> shhhhhhhhhhing
<Captain_America> YEAAAUUUH
<Zoftan> With a THWACK of metal on scales, you stab right through his side!
<&Doctor_Strange> YES
<Zoftan> There's a bellow of rage (it sounds like the original Fin Fang Foom on helium) and dark blood spurts forth, contaminating the very ground it spills onto!
<Zoftan> He thrashes his wings, throwing you to the side, but you've clearly done some serious damage.
<Zoftan> 3d10 affiliation remaining
<&Doctor_Strange> WE CAN DO THIS
<&Doctor_Strange> HE'S WOUNDED

He really is, they've got him shrunken down and almost halfway through his affiliation dice. With a little more firepower, the Avengers just might pull this out.

Conveniently, Coulson is rummaging around for just that...

* &PhilCoulson searches through Fury’s new supplies.
<&PhilCoulson> “Well, this is interesting.”
* &PhilCoulson pulls out a ridiculously overelaborate staff. The “camera” focuses on a small engraving.
<&PhilCoulson> The words “MADE IN LATVERIA” has been hastily smoothed out and is covered by a thumb – the SHIELD insignia has been marked in its place.
<&PhilCoulson> “Sir, this hasn’t been properly tagged,” he says, waving the staff in Fin Fang Foom’s general direction. “Is there anything in the invoice that states—”
<&PhilCoulson> And at that moment, Coulson’s suit pulses with MYSTIC ENERGY – it channels a blast of energy through the staff, and a JET OF GREEN LIGHT ARCS TOWARD THE DRAGON!

Latverian magitech: for when you absolutely must kill Reed Richards deal with a rampaging extradimensional dragon in your hometown.

<&PhilCoulson> “Oh, oops.”
<Zoftan> Fury very deliberately averts his eye.
<Zoftan> "Whoops. I missed this flagrant breaking of regulations, Agent. Age must be creeping up on me."
<Zoftan> "Well, I guess it'd be your word against mine, and let's not drag that out with a hearing."

Coulson rolls absurdly high and an SFX lets him step up his effect die to d12 : an instant affiliation die loss if the attack connects.

<&PhilCoulson> As the consequences occur, Coulson turns the staff around and shows Fury something on the side.
<&PhilCoulson> “Oh, look, it has a little dial on it to change its effect. You know, you really have to give Latveria credit for its user-friendliness.”
<&PhilCoulson> “…Oh hey, it goes up to ‘destroy that fool Richards.’ That explains a lot, really.”
<Zoftan> "I suppose they do know their tech, as Ms. von Bardas shows."
<Zoftan> The dragon's already on the ropes, and he finally manages to pull Deadpool's katana out of his side only to turn around and see a wave of green light blasting towards him with "YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF RICHARDS" spelled out in it via slightly lighter green light.
<Zoftan> He has just enough time to wonder what that means...

If he were not imprisoned in Hell at this moment (it was very silly), Doom would be justly proud of the tremendous damage his weapon wreaks on Fin Fang Foom, who not only loses an affiliation die but has his orb shield temporarily taken out - he'll have to use the Heart of Power to regenerate it again.

They're more than halfway through now - two dice to go.

<&Doctor_Strange> "Excellent work, agent!"
<Spider-Man> Is that another affiliation die down?
<Zoftan> "MORTAL SORCERERS! SO MANY OF THEM!"
<Zoftan> It is, yes. 2 dice remaining
<&Doctor_Strange> "THE RACE OF MAN HAS LEARNED MUCH WHILE YOU SLUMBERED, FIN FANG FOOM!"
<Zoftan> Round two begins, and another d12 interrupts!
<Zoftan> (everyone gets an XP)
<Spider-Man> Woo!
<Spider-Man> Also, D:
<Captain_America> HOORAY
<&Doctor_Strange> Yessssss
<Zoftan> The Heart of Power gleams, and slowly, he BEGINS TO GROW AGAIN
* &PhilCoulson considers correcting everyone that he's actually just an agent, then decides against it.
<&Doctor_Strange> "STRIKE THE HEART! THE HEART! THE HEEEEEEAAAART!"
* &Doctor_Strange is apparently Mr. Exposition this game. :D
<Zoftan> "I CALL UPON THE ANCIENT SPIRITS OF MAKLU TO REVERSE THIS ENCHANTMENT"
<Zoftan> And as he becomes huge, he leaps forward to snatch up Captain America in his massive claws!
<&Doctor_Strange> !!!!
<Captain_America> "WAAAGH!"
<Deadpool> D:
<Moon_Knight> "Sword! Sword! Sword!"

This is potentially very bad. The dragon gets a 20 with a d10 effect die, meaning if Cap's total is below 15, then he'll end up one hit away from being stressed out of the fight altogether.

Also there's the whole "he's becoming huge again" thing, but that's kind of a secondary problem at the moment, being as it's enabling the attempted grab.

<&Doctor_Strange> You can do it!
<Spider-Man> COME ON CAP
<&PhilCoulson> XD
<&PhilCoulson> D:
<Captain_America> The Cap'n is going to try to leap right out of his grasp and run up his arm!
<Zoftan> Go for it!
<Spider-Man> YOU CAN DO IT CAP
<Captain_America> Team, Lead By Example, Enhanced Reflexes, Acrobatic Expert, Blinded By The Light, and I'm spending a PP to include Combat Master as well.
<Captain_America> HERE GOES
<Captain_America> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Captain_America [1d10]: 10>
<Captain_America> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Captain_America [1d8]: 8>
<Spider-Man> Ooh.
<Captain_America> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Captain_America [1d10]: 8>
<Captain_America> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Captain_America [1d8]: 8>
<Captain_America> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Captain_America [1d10]: 8>
<Captain_America> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Captain_America [1d12]: 2>

The odds of rolling that sequence of eights are one in 6,400, if you were wondering. Regardless, the Captain spends two PP to dodge in style, run up the arm, and inflict a counterattack that could change the course of the fight altogether:

<Captain_America> He leaps off of Fing Fang Foom's arm with a bellowing shout, and plunges the saber right into the dragon's chest!
<&Doctor_Strange> YES
<Captain_America> That's a 26 with a d12, which steps up.
<Moon_Knight> "...Okay. Giving you the sword *might* not have been that bad an idea!"
<Zoftan> There's a split second, as Cap's cavalry saber pierces the Heart of Power, where nothing happens. Just a crack in the gem and a moment of silence.
* Deadpool is infuriated by the way, Puff the dragon has refused his Pym gift by growing again. :|
<Zoftan> And then.... KABOOM
<Zoftan> It's practically blinding - light just explodes everywhere, and the Heart of Power shatters into a million tiny fragments!
<&Doctor_Strange> O-O
<Zoftan> Pieces of jade rain into the street as Fin Fang Foom bellows in pain, clutching his chest!
<Zoftan> And the orbs, which were starting to shimmer back into existence, DISSIPATE COMPLETELY
<&Doctor_Strange> "And thus, evil sorcery is undone!"
<Zoftan> "NO! IMPOSSIBLE! THE HEART CANNOT BE DESTROYED"
<Captain_America> "Good will always triumph over evil, you vile creature!"
<Zoftan> Okay, his Heart of Power and Orb Shield assets are completely deactivated
<Spider-Man> Cool!
<Taxes> nerds
* Captain_America takes this moment to vault off of FFF, hitting the ground in a totally awesome pose.

This is actually not the best thing that will happen all session, that's yet to come - you may find this assertion difficult to believe, between the Pym particles and what just happened, but trust me.

<Zoftan> With that said, he STILL has two affiliation dice left, and Cap's right in front of him in prime stomping distance...
<&Doctor_Strange> ... oh dear
<Zoftan> Just then, though, Coulson notices Fury's pulling out some kind of grapple gun.
<Zoftan> "Keep me covered, Agent."
<&PhilCoulson> "Yes, sir."
<Zoftan> There's a SHKKKKT noise and Nick Fury grapples up the side of a building, launches into the air, and lands right on the side of the dragon's face!
* &PhilCoulson quietly adds an XP
* Captain_America yells out to Moon Knight: "You taught me well, you know!"
<Zoftan> Holding onto Fin Fang Foom's mustache, he throws some kind of vise-like device between its teeth, and the dragon arches forward as the device expands - it's a high-powered jack, like you'd use to hold up a tank! His mouth is wide open!
<Captain_America> "No better way to fight a dragon than to GET IN ITS FACE"
<&Doctor_Strange> HELL YES
<&Doctor_Strange> JACK HIM UP, FURY
<&Doctor_Strange> LITERALLY, HO HO HO
<Zoftan> "Shoot right down its throat!" Fury shouts.

Doctor Strange takes the shot, as only a master of the mystic arts can.

<&Doctor_Strange> Now I can't straight-up attack, but I CAN do something even better.
<&Doctor_Strange> I SHALL MATCH SORCERY WITH SORCERY
<&Doctor_Strange> AND SUMMON A BEAST OF FREEZING POWER TO MATCH HIS BREATH
<&Doctor_Strange> I SUMMON
<&Doctor_Strange> THE WENDIGO
<&PhilCoulson> :O
<&Doctor_Strange> Team, Mystic Master, Sorcerer Surpeme, Supreme Sorcery
<Zoftan> You have to beat the doom pool, so go ahead and roll it.
<&Doctor_Strange> Okay, gotcha.
<&Doctor_Strange> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Doctor_Strange [1d6]: 4>
<&Doctor_Strange> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Doctor_Strange [1d10]: 7>
<&Doctor_Strange> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Doctor_Strange [1d8]: 4>
<&Doctor_Strange> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Doctor_Strange [1d12]: 12>
<&Doctor_Strange> NINETEEN WITH A D10
<Moon_Knight> NICE
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 7>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d6]: 3>
<&Doctor_Strange> "I CALL YOU UP, ITHAQUA THE ANCIENT. RISE AND DO MY BIDDING, OH GREAT NORTHERN SPIRIT, HE WHO IS KNOWN AS WENDIGO"
* Spider-Man swings around on the sidelines, taking a few snapshots where he can. Jesus, Jameson is going to have a field day with some of this stuff.
< Zoftan> Billows of snow swirl all around the streets as an unearthly howl rises!
<Zoftan> "WEEEEENDIGOOOOOOOOO"



<&Doctor_Strange> And this big, hairy, frozen yeti with tusks the size of buicks shows up. :D
<&Doctor_Strange> YESSSSSSSSSS
<Zoftan> From the gales of frost, the tusked Wendigo bursts forth!
<Zoftan> It leaps onto Fin Fang Foom's knee, scaling the dragon's leg with its claws, and climbs all the way up to his head before leaping into his open mouth...and DOWN THE MONSTER'S THROAT
* &Doctor_Strange quietly puts some XP on his sheet. :D
<&Doctor_Strange> FUCK YEAH
<&Doctor_Strange> "FREEZE HIM FROM THE INSIDE, MY MONSTER"
<&Doctor_Strange> "COOL HIS FIERY BREATH"
<Moon_Knight> :D
<&Doctor_Strange> I suddenly feel like a pokemon master.
<Zoftan> Extraordinary success on that summon, so d12 physical stress AND his Combustible Breath is shut down

I personally feel this is a better summoning moment than my previous favorite (the time I summoned a celestial ankylosaurus to fight that tiefling's demonic ankylosaurus. It's just more dynamic, and works on more levels than 'ha ha I can do that too'. So good job, Doc.

<&Doctor_Strange> MOON KNIGHT
<Zoftan> (also yes this is fun as hell)
<&Doctor_Strange> DO SOME DAMAGE
<Deadpool> :D
<Moon_Knight> is the web net still there?
<Spider-Man> So is that one or two more affiliation die left?
<Zoftan> Two left still!
<Zoftan> And the net is still there.
* Deadpool takes the time to pose for Spiderman's photo.
<Spider-Man> WORK IT DEADPOOL
<Zoftan> One more hit of physical stress and he's down to one die, though.
* &PhilCoulson just acts nonchalantly. No need for SHIELD coverage; he's just a guy holding a suit and a sweet staff.
<Moon_Knight> Okay. Clambering up to the top of the net and gliding towards FFF's head for a katana attack
<Deadpool> "You caused this mess so help clean it up altar-boy!"
<Moon_Knight> solo d10, Fist of Khonshu d8, weapon d12, enh. strength d10, web d10, blinded d12, combat master d10
<Zoftan> You get the asset bonus, of course - the net is springy and has slingshot properties, so you get a good burst towards him.
* Deadpool suddenly has an idea, and scribbles down: "Deadpool and altarboy!"
<Zoftan> You do have to be sort of careful not to accidentally dislodge the water tower and launch it with you (being caught between the two of them would be a bad time)
<Moon_Knight> step 2d10 into 1d12
<Moon_Knight> ...that is a good point. I had forgotten the water tower.
<&Doctor_Strange> Hrrrrrrm.
<Zoftan> Well, he'll still have at least one more affiliation die after this >>
<&Doctor_Strange> If you knock it down, I could freeze it. :D
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d10
<Zoftan> Anyway, roll your attack pool
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d10]: 3>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d8]: 6>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d12]: 7>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d12]: 2>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d12]: 6>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d10]: 6>
<Moon_Knight> Okay. Spend a PP to add an extra die, giving me 19 with a d12 effect.
<Zoftan> Fin Fang Foom sees you coming, and raises a claw to swat at you...

Look how small Fin Fang Foom's dice pool has become, in just a second. The way the party slowly whittles down his affiliation dice is mirrored in-game by a decrease in his power, which gives them a sense of momentum and building excitement (plus it encourages them to pull off high-risk stuff later in a fight when it'd be more dramatically appropriate). I love that kind of mechanic, and am really glad it's getting ported over to 13th Age with the escalation die.

<Zoftan> Solo, Faster Than He Looks, Godlike Strength, Combat Master
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 8>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 4>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d12]: 1>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 1>
<Zoftan> Oh man.
<Spider-Man> :|
<&Doctor_Strange> Uh
<&PhilCoulson> oh wow
<Moon_Knight> I uh...
<Captain_America> That's all you have left? :D
<Deadpool> ... huh
<Zoftan> A sai lodges itself in his left eye!
<Zoftan> He is WIDE OPEN and you land on his face, driving the katana deeper into the injured eye from your momentum!
<&Doctor_Strange> YESSSSS
<Zoftan>b] "GRAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH"[/b]
<Zoftan> Fin Fang Foom thrashes his head, throwing Moon Knight off, but MK glides safely to a nearby roof with his cape!
<Zoftan> ONE AFFILIATION DIE REMAINING
* Spider-Man has an idea.
<&Doctor_Strange> WE CAN DO IT
<Zoftan> Who's up next?
* Deadpool has an idea too. :3
<Moon_Knight> Finish him off, SpiderUnifier!"
<Spider-Man> Okay!
<Zoftan> Spidey! Your turn!
<&Doctor_Strange> "Wait, who?"
<Moon_Knight> "...I mean Spiderman"
<Moon_Knight> "Sorry, Khonshu distracted me."
<Zoftan> "It's a livin'!" squawks Faceless Illusory Bushman.
<&Doctor_Strange> XD
<Deadpool> "You've seen it too! You've seen the realty beyond the veil! We are trully kinsmen Altarboy!"
<Spider-Man> From the roof of a nearby building, Spider-Man takes a running jump to leap onto Fin Fang Foom's neck, and shoots two webs to form a makeshift bit and reins.
* Captain_America just looks up and watches. This is going to be GOOD.
<&PhilCoulson> :D
<Moon_Knight> Clearly she didn't see the "You must be *this* tall to ride." sign!
<Moon_Knight> :D
<Captain_America> I don't think any height regulations would make this ride safe!

That's a seriously ballsy move, even with Fin Fang Foom as damaged as he is, but the dice work in Spidey's favor and he edges it out by just one. Although a doom die saves the dragon from being totally stressed out of the fight, he's on the very brink - one more hit will do him in.

<Zoftan> The dragon thrashes beneath your webs, but hey--proportional strength of a spider!
<Moon_Knight> He needed to *beat* 19. Spidey just tamed a dragon.
<&PhilCoulson> :D
<&Doctor_Strange> We are BADASS
* Spider-Man yanks on the reins. "Just like riding a bicycle. Except it's trying to kill you."
<Spider-Man> "So, uh, nothing like riding a bicycle."
<&PhilCoulson> :D
<Moon_Knight> :D :D :D
<Zoftan> Okay, you have him arched back, at d12 physical stress and 1 affiliation die!
<Zoftan> (Also you get an XP for wisecracking at him)
<Deadpool> "You haven't seen the bikes I ride!"
<Spider-Man> :D
<Spider-Man> "HI HO HELLDRAGON"

So who's up to strike the final blow?

<Spider-Man> I PICK CAPTAIN AMERICA
<Zoftan> Oh man.
<Deadpool> Captain America, fulfill your destiny!
<&Doctor_Strange> "STRIKE DOWN THE DRAGON"

He has something very special in mind, though...

* Captain_America waves the team over! "Everyone! With me!" He's gonna lead the whole team over to the web spring. And we are all going to launch right off of it.
<&Doctor_Strange> ...
<&PhilCoulson> ...
<&Doctor_Strange> YES
<Deadpool> ...
<Zoftan> With the water tower?
<Captain_America> Yes. With the water tower.

God of War style.

Man, mages make the best Pokemon masters.

<Zoftan> Okay. Spider-Man is holding the dragon in place, and the rest of you are jumping onto the web to weigh it down.
* &Doctor_Strange flies the fuck over, this is the most fun he's had in days.
<Captain_America> The city's evacuated!
* Spider-Man just keeps his hands on the reins, trying to keep Fin Fang steady for the big hit.
<&Doctor_Strange> :D
<Captain_America> "Right there, Spidey! Good!"
<Deadpool> :D
<Moon_Knight> :D
<Spider-Man> "YEEHAW"

Everyone knows the best way to finish off a giant boss is with massive, massive overkill, so a special house rule comes into play for the water-tower launch - the entire team is weighing down the tower, and their combined momentum will launch it into Fin Fang Foom, so...why not have the dice reflect everybody's contribution?

<Zoftan> Okay, Cap, roll this thing and add an extra d10 for EVERY PERSON HELPING OUT
<Captain_America> YES SIR
<Zoftan> That's you, Spidey, Coulson, Strange, Echo, MK, and Deadpool, plus your normal pool
<&Doctor_Strange> ... god. goddamn
<Captain_America> Team, Lead By Example, Enhanced Strength, Acrobatic Expert, and 6 extra d10s, AND Blinded
<Captain_America> Go make a sandwich, everyone. I'll be done by the time you're back.
<Captain_America> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Captain_America [1d10]: 9>
<Captain_America> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Captain_America [1d8]: 4>
<Captain_America> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Captain_America [1d8]: 1>
<Captain_America> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Captain_America [1d8]: 7>
<Captain_America> 6roll 1d10
<Captain_America> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Captain_America [1d10]: 1>
<Captain_America> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Captain_America [1d10]: 8>
<Captain_America> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Captain_America [1d10]: 3>
<Captain_America> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Captain_America [1d10]: 1>
<Captain_America> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Captain_America [1d10]: 4>
<Captain_America> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Captain_America [1d10]: 7>
<Captain_America> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Captain_America [1d12]: 4>
<Captain_America> I think that's all of them.
<Zoftan> It's a co-op attack so keep seven dice for your total
<&Doctor_Strange> ... goddamn.
<Captain_America> O_O
<Spider-Man> !!!
<Moon_Knight> :O
<Deadpool> :D
<Captain_America> You're seriously letting me have a 43.
<Zoftan> YES I AM
<Moon_Knight> hahahahahaha
<&Doctor_Strange> DON'T ARGUE
<&PhilCoulson> XD
<Spider-Man> :D :D :D
<Zoftan> Everyone charges forward, leaping onto the jagged remains of the water tower! It sags towards the ground more and more and more with every person who hops on, until finally, the tension in the web springs back....
<Captain_America> Okay then! :D
<Zoftan> Okay - Solo, ACS, Godlike Durability, Combat Master, AND spending all remaining doom to keep three dice for the total
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 2>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 2>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d12]: 6>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 7>

To quickly explicate the math: they needed a single d6 of physical stress to do in Fin Fang Foom. His reaction roll was a 13, which is 30 lower than the attack, that means the team got six extraordinary successes, stepping up their effect die six times. It was already a d10, so now it's a d22, meaning they did nine times the amount of damage required to kill him.

Again, there's nothing quite as satisfying as boss overkill.

<Zoftan> The impact is biblical in its proportions.
<&Doctor_Strange> Old testament or new testament? :D
<Zoftan> Definitely the old testament.
<Captain_America> Definitely.
<&Doctor_Strange> Badass.
<Moon_Knight> none of that forgiveness stuff here
<Zoftan> Because this is like THE ACT OF AN ANGRY GOD
<Moon_Knight> (Khonshu to be specific)
<Zoftan> There's a deafening SHRRRRRRRRRKKKKKK as the metal tower rams itself through the dragon's chest, right where the Heart of Power used to be!
<&Doctor_Strange> YESSSS
<Zoftan> The force from all of you putting your momentum behind the tower sends it almost all the way through!
<Spider-Man> (all the while, Peter's camera has been webbed to the very building that he leaped off of to ride FFF, it's been on a five second timer taking photos the entire time)
<Zoftan> A final bellow goes up, so loud it shakes the streets and causes debris to fall from the nearby wreckage, and then Fin Fang Foom stumbles, pitches forward onto his knees, and (with more than enough time for you guys to leap free), collapses on the streets.
<Captain_America> (3 XP for me :3)
<Moon_Knight> "...I'm thinking we should all make some dragonscale armor."
<Deadpool> "I call dibs on the head, I'll turn it into a couch or even better an couch that turns into a bed!"
<Captain_America> (No. 6!)
* &Doctor_Strange sighs.
<&Doctor_Strange> "The body of Fin Fang Foom is not to be desecrated."
<Deadpool> "Why not?"
* Captain_America is too busy panting to have any wisecracks on tap!
<Captain_America> Except for this:
<&Doctor_Strange> "He has a role in the universe, strange though it is."
<Captain_America> "Wade?"
<Captain_America> "No."

Everybody takes a moment to gather themselves and assess the situation. As Moon Knight talks to Echo and Deadpool congratulates himself, the rest of the team notice that someone has vanished...

<Zoftan> In the immediate aftermath, it's very quiet. The crowds have been evacuated, most of the car alarms have stopped wailing, and...
<Zoftan> ...Huh. Nick Fury appears to be missing.
<&Doctor_Strange> ...
<Spider-Man> "That was fun."
<&Doctor_Strange> ?
<Zoftan> Echo's still here, sitting in a daze next to an overturned phone booth. "...Uh. Do you Avengers do this kind of thing every day, or...?"
<Captain_America> "Hey. Where's Fury?"
<Deadpool> "He's missing? I call myself as new leader of SHIELD!"
<Moon_Knight> "We fought a dinosaur a couple of weeks ago, so... not quite?"
<Moon_Knight> "Definitely more often than not, though."
<&Doctor_Strange> "Fury? I did not notice his departure..."
<Zoftan> "...Great. Glad I'm in the B-leagues."
* Moon_Knight plops down next to Echo, still nursing his sore shoulder.
<Zoftan> "And I didn't see Fury vanish either - plus I still don't remember why the hell this happened."
* &PhilCoulson shrugs. "I would suppose he's trying to explain exactly what happened to Hill."
<Deadpool> "First things first I want a pool on the deck. And I'll need the controls of the helicarrier to 'test' stuff."
<&Doctor_Strange> ...
* &Doctor_Strange summons an iron plate over Deadpool's mouth.

<Deadpool> "I want a lot of pin *slap* mhwhw mwhwh whwa"

The world breathes one huge collective sigh of relief.

<Spider-Man> "Yeah, I've got more than a few questions for that guy."
<&Doctor_Strange> "Perhaps I could help."
* Moon_Knight nudges Echo. "Hey. You did great. That thing with the sai? Very clever."
<&PhilCoulson> "Dragons attempting to take over New York and all."
<&Doctor_Strange> "Gentlemen. I could restore your memories - including yours, Mr. Wilson, should you choose to behave."
<Zoftan> Echo spares a weary grin for MK as everyone else listens to Dr. Strange's proposition!
<Captain_America> "I have a question."
<&Doctor_Strange> "Would that help in your endeavours?"
<Spider-Man> "Man, I can see the headlines now."
<Captain_America> "Why did we lose our memories in the FIRST place?"
<Spider-Man> "--on that note..."
<Deadpool> "mhwhw mwhwh whwa mhwhw mwhwh whwaw mhwhw mwhwh whaw Mwha" he gestures widly as he continues to give directives.
<&Doctor_Strange> "Again, perhaps my magicks would enlighten you. Shall I? Do I have your permission?"
<Captain_America> "Do it."
<&PhilCoulson> "...How did you know they were missing in the first place?"
* Spider-Man disappears for a few moments, yanking his camera and stashing it in... a pocket, or something. There's clearly not much room in the spandex for a camera, but he makes room.
* &Doctor_Strange looks at PhilCoulson.
<&Doctor_Strange> "Sorcerer Supreme."
* &Doctor_Strange spreads his hands.
* &PhilCoulson raises an eyebrow.

There isn't a sufficiently self-satisfied Strange.jpg to post here. :(

<Spider-Man> "Go for it, Doc."
<&Doctor_Strange> "BY THE MENTAL MIGHT OF THE MANITOU, I DO HEREBY END THE BLOCK ON YOUR MINDS!"
<Zoftan> (harp strings)
<&Doctor_Strange> "HEAR, ME SPIRITS, AND ABJURE AS I SEE FIT!"
<Deadpool> "mwha mwha mwhammm mmhmmmm mm hhhmmmhmmmm hmmhmmm"

At this point, we enter a flashback much like the one from earlier, and the truth is revealed. Doctor Strange exists within the flashback as a sort of astral guide, and can control its flow and help clear up any anomalies in the memory process.

The team relives the infiltration of Castle Doom, which went as smoothly as could be expected - between the assault team, Coulson's symbionic armor, and the backup squad, they managed to get in pretty easily. Cap's team dealt with a souped up Scorcher out front, and in the back, Ronin and Moon Knight fought with the Silver Samurai while Fury, Widow, and Spider-Woman went off to work on the mission objective. Eventually, Spider-Man got the front doors open and they all met up in front of the throne room.

<Deadpool> Deadpools explains between lulls of fighting"...and then I'll get a pool on the helideck... but you know that already even if it I told you it the future first... which is the past. It's all a matter of perspective really, anyway that can wait..."

Blowing the door, they breach the throne room and find Prime Minister von Bardas conversing with a very familiar holographic visitor.

<&Doctor_Strange> O_O
<Zoftan> "They're at the gates! It's the Americans! Listen, the project isn't finished yet, I need time to--"
<Zoftan> "They're past the gates," says the hologram, glancing past her to you guys. "And the project...your end of it, at least...is completed to my satisfaction. It's been a pleasure doing business with you, Madame Prime Minister."
<Zoftan> It cuts off with a zzzzip, and von Bardas turns to glare at all of you with rage.
<Zoftan> "You dare violate our sovereignty?"
<Moon_Knight> "Khonshu recognizes no borders."
<Spider-Man> "We're not too happy about it either, lady."
* Captain_America doesn't say a word. He is a silent sentinel. A very unhappy one at that.
* &PhilCoulson simply holds his weapon, a quiet sentinel of SHIELD.

The cracks are starting to show. There's a serious personality clash going on in this operation - in the present, of course, the Avengers are able to work past it because greater threats exist, but back then, the nature of the threat had them divided. What did it lead to? Why can't they remember?

<Zoftan> Nick Fury has a pistol and a detonator. "Ms. von Bardas. You've been sponsoring terrorists against the United States and equipping them with advanced weaponry. We're here to make sure that doesn't happen again."
<Zoftan> "You see, while the assault was going on, the agents and I planted charges on your castle's foundation. It's going under, and you're going with it."
* Spider-Man decides not to mention that they're /committing/ a terrorist action against Latveria.
<Deadpool> "You know... I would have put different drapes, they clash with the carpet."
* Captain_America doesn't miss the irony either. He does exchange a sympathetic look with Spider-Man, however.
<Zoftan> The agents in question seem to be securing parts of the throne room; Black Widow is examining a very large statue of Dr. Doom, while Spider-Woman appears to be hacking the database for some reason.
<&Doctor_Strange> "This is... vexing."
<Zoftan> Yeah, something is wrong. There was something going on that they can't quite see in the flashback.
<Zoftan> Perhaps Doctor Strange can unmuddle it a bit...
<&Doctor_Strange> Let me try. :D
<&Doctor_Strange> "Blessed Vishanti! Uncloud the eyes of memory, so that these warriors may see the truth behind the lies!"
<Deadpool> "The thing that's wrong are the drapes! I keep repeating it!"
<Zoftan> Oh. Huh, that's...not what you expected.
* &Doctor_Strange loves wizards.
<Zoftan> Spider-Woman wasn't actually there.
<Spider-Man> bwuh
<Zoftan> ...If she wasn't there, why do you remember her being at the briefing and the infiltration?
<Zoftan> Odd.

Very odd.

<Zoftan> Anyway, there's no time for reverie as the memory continues, because Fury shoots von Bardas with a single round from his pistol. "Agent Coulson, activate the teleporter. I'm setting off the charges."
<&PhilCoulson> "Yes, sir."
* Spider-Man balks.
<Captain_America> "FURY!"
* &PhilCoulson thumbs a command on one of his PDAs.
* Captain_America immediately gets up in Fury's face. "What are you DOING?!"
<&Doctor_Strange> "I do not approve of what I am seeing."
<Zoftan> There's no time to talk--the charges go off immediately, and the castle begins to collapse around you! Coulson activates the teleporter protocol, and you all blink out of Doomstadt to a pre-determined beacon...and just as the world fades into your destination, you can barely see the dying Lucia von Bardas mouth a sentence: You will pay for this.
* Deadpool mouths back "Your drapes clashed!"

They did, to be fair. Green and silver really don't go that well together, no matter how much Doom wills it to be so. Anyway, the team teleports out from the exploding castle, and as soon as they land, Cap and Spidey have some serious moral grievances to bring up.

<Zoftan> Out in the field, though, Fury's a little more subdued than usual. "Thank you, gentlemen, ladies. Mission accomplished."
<Captain_America> "Nick, you SON OF A-"
<Zoftan> "Calm down, Captain Rogers. I realize we don't agree on methods. But there was a threat to the United States here and I took what measures I could to act against it."
<Spider-Man> "What, a gun?"
* Captain_America looks like he's just about ready to kill a man.
* Moon_Knight doesn't seem particularly bothered, has resumed hitting on Echo
<Spider-Man> <3 Moon Knight
* &Doctor_Strange just sort of floats astrally.
<Zoftan> "We don't deal with black and white absolutes in SHIELD. Sometimes we have to do distasteful things so that good men can live free."
<Zoftan> (Echo winks at Moon Knight under the Ronin mask.)
<Zoftan> "And I don't make any bones about it - those distasteful things are my responsibility, Captain. You and the others aren't accountable for what happened here tonight, and I don't want it coming back to haunt you."
* Deadpool is just sad it wasn't a hoedown, "Can we get some tacos first?"
<Captain_America> "It's too late for that, Fury."
<Spider-Man> "Too late, Fury."
* Captain_America reaches up, and rips his mask right off of his head. And then, he tosses it right to the ground.
<Captain_America> "I'm done."
<Zoftan> Fury blinks.
<&PhilCoulson> "...Um. Captain?"
* Moon_Knight seriously considers calling dibs on Cap's discarded mask. "Captain Moon" has a nice ring to it. "Captain Khonshu" maybe.
<Spider-Man> hahaha

I would go with 'Khaptain Khonshu', myself, but I'm not the superhero here. Seeing the direction that this is going, Strange gives the heroes a chance to walk away and let it go...

* &Doctor_Strange pauses the memories.
<&Doctor_Strange> "... do you wish me to continue? What you may learn you may not unremember."
<Spider-Man> "Keep going."
<Spider-Man> Spider-Man's voice has a certain edge to it.
* Captain_America , still in memoryspace or whatever, hangs his head. "... Keep going."
<&Doctor_Strange> "As you wish."
* &Doctor_Strange presses PLAY

And at last...

<Zoftan> "...You know, I had a feeling you'd say that."
<Zoftan> He smiles a little. "It's admirable. But it's a realm I can't really touch anymore."
<Zoftan> "So I got a contingency ready. In order to make sure you wouldn't have to live with what we've done tonight."
<Captain_America> "What...?"
<Zoftan> He raises a remote.
<Spider-Man> "What are you talking about."
<Moon_Knight> "Oh damnit. See what you've done now, Captain?"
* &Doctor_Strange looks sad.
<Captain_America> "What are you doing-"
<Zoftan> "Maybe someday we'll revisit this, Cap, and...if we do, well, take comfort in knowing you were right."
<Zoftan> FLASH
<Zoftan> And...now your memories are up to date. Huh.
* &Doctor_Strange ends the spell.
* &PhilCoulson 's face is stony.
* Spider-Man is speechless.
<Captain_America> You guys have never seen the Captain -shake- before.
<&Doctor_Strange> "My apologies, gentlemen."
<Captain_America> "No."
<Captain_America> "We had to know."
* Deadpool looks sad, "and I only got my tacos the next day but on the plus side they were tasty."
* Moon_Knight looks at Cap. "Must you always be such a boyscout?"
* Captain_America musters a smile. "Once a Scout, always a Scout."
<Spider-Man> "He used us. He /used/ us."

It's a somber moment. Here they are, finally learning of the part they played in last year's Latverian incident, amidst the silent, ruined streets of Hell's Kitchen with a giant dragon corpse bleeding out next to them.

And I do mean ruined. They took the threats down as quick as they could, but between the supervillain army and Fin Fang Foom, this battle's managed to destroy entire city blocks. It'll take months of rebuilding and hundreds of millions of dollars to put everything back the way it was. Not to mention the possible death toll.

Even in victory, the Avengers aren't sure how elated they should feel.

<Moon_Knight> "So. I guess now we need to find Fury and erase part of his brain to even the score. We can feed it to Strange's Wendigo, maybe."
* &PhilCoulson quietly moves off to the side and quietly starts trying to hail Ms. Hill.
<Deadpool> "See if it had been me running the op I would have taken what's her name body with me to make sure she was dead... but nobody asks me."
<&Doctor_Strange> "It would appear Mr. Fury's gambit was not as clean as it orginally seemed. It has wrought great and terrible destruction. I shall remain here, and aid the reconstruction efforts. You, however, must continue your pursuit of the truth."
<Captain_America> "Yeah...." A beat passes. "Where do we start? Fury is gone."
* &Doctor_Strange shrugs.

Coulson reaches Maria Hill, and one last bombshell drops.

<Zoftan> Hill answers almost immediately. "Agent Coulson? Thank god communications are back up. We're bringing a medical carrier to your area to help with the civilians. What happened down there with Fury?"
<Zoftan> "He just...he showed up at the helicarrier, he said 'I made a mistake', and then he handed over his resignation."
<&PhilCoulson> "Mr. Fury is...unavailable at the mo--/what?"/
<Zoftan> "...Coulson...I'm Director of SHIELD now."
<&Doctor_Strange> O_O
<Spider-Man> WHAT
<Captain_America> "Did I just hear that right?"
<&PhilCoulson> "Requesting confirmation. What was that?"
<Deadpool> "Oh... new boss, I need to make a good impression, I need a tie!"
<Zoftan> "Again, Colonel Fury just resigned his post. I...I just got field-promoted to Director."
<&PhilCoulson> "...I see. Well, we need damage control down here. Medevacs, law enforcement, protocol for a Level IV Intelligence Failure."
<Zoftan> "I'll...get right on it, Agent."

End

Next Issue: The Long Road to a Civil War

Yeah....

There was a moment after all that when we were all just sort of... somber in the room.

This was, of course, immediately followed by glorious high-fives and cries of AWESOME, because WE HAD KILLED FIN FANG FOOM.

Zoftan's one of the best GMs I've ever seen, and that's high praise coming from me.

This was a great and fun session... also I think I'm really lucky to have had Aphin and Zoftan as gamemaster, because I don't think I could get away with some the stuff I do if the the GM were 'traditionalists' who want their players to think and stay within the box.

Just for the sake of ensuring proper immersion into this awesome RP, here is a picture of the actual sword used by Washington whilst he led the Continental army.



Carry on.

This is all I have to say.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=_z4NKRTo4MQ#t=688s

Please continue with your badassery as normal.

<Moon_Knight> ...it's just the crazies :D
<Zoftan> YUP :D

Today, on a special issue of Marvel Heroic Roleplaying, it's...



DEADPOOL AND MOON KNIGHT'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE



STARRING

DIPPY as WADE 'DEADPOOL' WILSON - a loose cannon on the edge, who doesn't play by your rules and is of questionable mental health!

TECHOPTERYX as MARC 'MOON KNIGHT' SPECTOR - uh...well, ALSO a loose cannon on the edge, who doesn't play by your rules and is of questionable mental health!

It's been a little less than a week since Fin Fang Foom rampaged through New York City and Nick Fury stepped down as Director of SHIELD. Things have been very busy since.

They're particularly busy for Agent Coulson, who got a promotion - with Maria Hill as the new director, Jessica Drew got kicked up the ladder to fill the new deputy director slot and Coulson's taken over the SHIELD Department of Human-Metahuman Affairs. This entails doing a lot of administrative work and on-site micromanagement, so as the issue opens, he is out of town on official business with Captain America. Spider-Man's doing some research for the Daily Bugle (specifically their newest hard-hitting piece: "Spider-Man Responsible For Dragon Rampage?"), and Iron Man's out and about as well.

That leaves Deadpool and Moon Knight alone at Stark Tower, alone and bored. They went out earlier and patrolled the streets with Daredevil and Echo, but given the events of the previous week the local supervillains have been laying very, very low. As we join our erstwhile dynamic duo, they're occupied with important Avenger tasks.

* Moon_Knight is having a conversation with Khonshu in the corner.
<Deadpool> Eating tacos and watching daytime TV, 'Is this man your babies father, we'll find out after the break.'
<Zoftan> Khonshu is dressed as Maury Povich, for some reason.
<Zoftan> "I gotta say, Marc, a dragon." ("It could be any one of these seven men!" announces the TV.) "We're moving up in the world. Just you wait, kiddo, we'll set this town on fire yet."
<Moon_Knight> "We nearly did, there. It was breathing fire, after all."
<Zoftan> "Well, if at first you don't succeed. Haw."
* Deadpool waves towards Moon Knight or Khonshu, you can never known with him, "Want something to eat?"
<Zoftan> "You know the great thing about ol' Wade," says Khonshu, floating in circles around Deadpool, "is you can cut him up all you want and he just comes back again. People could learn a thing or two from him."

As a great detective, Moon Knight has learned to pick up details from observation and use them in his day-to-day survival. Watch carefully:

* Moon_Knight looks at Deadpool "Where did you even get those? If you pulled them out of that pouch I'll pass."
<Zoftan> On the TV: "Hercules, in the case of Hercules Junior...you are the father!"
* Deadpool shrugs, "I ordered them."
* Moon_Knight eyes Deadpool carefully "How long ago?"
<Zoftan> "OH WOE," bellows the television. "CRY HAVOC, AND LET SLIP THE DOGS OF WAR - MY TREASURY IS LEECHED ONCE AGAIN BY CHILD SUPPORT"
<Moon_Knight> XD

Man, between here and ESU, Hercules is getting around. Perhaps he was guest lecturing because of all the child support lately - it probably wreaks havoc on the bills.

<Deadpool> "Oh hey can I have some of those things you're always throwing, it could be handy whenever."
<Moon_Knight> "Sure. Just make sure you don't throw them at me. Or Echo."
<Zoftan> "Oh man, it's like handing knives to an infant," says the floating god. "You're the best, Marc."
* Deadpool woots, "sure sure, you can trust me, I'm Canadian."
<Zoftan> One of the 'call waiting' nodes on the desk lights up, and Jarvis cuts in over the TV's sound system. "Sirs, SHIELD is on line one."
<Deadpool> "The building... it's talking!"
<Zoftan> "AHHHHH" Khonshu hides under the couch.
* Moon_Knight looks at Khonshu, then at Deadpool. "You get used to it."
<Deadpool> "Tony is real posh, most people even rich just have a buzzer or something."
* Moon_Knight nods in agreement with Deadpool.

On the other line is SHIELD Deputy Director Jessica Drew, aka Spider-Woman.

<Zoftan> "Tony, we've got a situ--" A pause. "Oh, hi. Uh, can I talk to..." You suspect for a second she's trying not to say "someone sane". It eventually comes out as "Is Mr. Stark around?"
<Deadpool> "Oh hi sweet cakes, I mean Deputy Director sweet cakes. Tony is out, you have to do with us."
<Moon_Knight> "Kill a dragon and you still don't get to talk to the girl at the top. No, Tony's not here. What's going on, *Deputy* Director?"
<Zoftan> "Oh." There's a remarkable amount of dread in that one word. "I see. We kind of have a situation we need to delegate - an Avengers kind of thing."
<Moon_Knight> "I'm practically the god of vengeance these days, I think we can handle a little avenging."
<Zoftan> "Well, beggars can't be choosers. All right, there's a federal cargo jet passing through - it's carrying seven tons of gold bullion from the Federal Reserve."
<Zoftan> "The problem is, it's, uh, it's also been hijacked. We're not totally sure what happened; the pilot got out like half a distress signal."
<Deadpool> "And you want us to hi-jack it to show the capitalist pigs!"
<Zoftan> "No, under no circumst--" A thoughtful pause. "Yes. Deadpool, I need you to re-hijack that plane."
<Zoftan> "And to...kidnap it to somewhere safe."
* Deadpool seems to perk up "A-O-Kay, I can do that!" he gives the thumbs up.

See, you don't need pheromones to get what you want. Sometimes it's as simple as choice of words.

<Zoftan> "Great. Look, we don't really know what you're up against here, and the plane's crew could have been taken hostage, so proceed with caution. We'll provide anything you need, within reason, to get to the jet."
* Moon_Knight looks suspicious "Does it matter what happens to the hijackers?"
<Zoftan> She shakes her head. "Nah. We're SHIELD, not the police - if they're endangering federal agents, Hill won't be too broken up what happens to them."
<Deadpool> "Do you have a magic broom?"
* Moon_Knight looks suddenly cheerful "Well, let's get going! We can take the moon-copter."

And knowing your audience.

<Deadpool> "You have a moon-copter? Neat!"
* Moon_Knight goes back to suspicion. "No, Wade, you can't fly it. I will take it through a loopity-loop for you though."
<Zoftan> "Oh thank god, I thought I was going to have to get the Scarlet Witch on short notice."
* Deadpool is real happy to hear MK say that.
<Zoftan> "Sounds good. Update us when you've got the plane secured. Drew out." Bzzzzt.
<Zoftan> "---NEVER HAS HERCULES SUFFERED SUCH A DEFEAT. NOT ONE, BUT TWO YOUNGLINGS SIRED"
<Moon_Knight> "Stark tech is overrated anyways. To the Moon-copter!"
<Zoftan> Yes, to the Moon-copter!
<Deadpool> "WOOT!"
<Deadpool> ^^ actually says that.

On the way to the war room, our heroes discuss their strategy for approaching the plane, subduing the hijackers, rescuing the hostages, and practicing proper snack etiquette.

<Deadpool> "So can I eat snacks while in the Moon-copter?"
<Moon_Knight> "No tacos. But yes."
<Deadpool> "Okay, I ask because on the way back I might get peckish, regen makes you hungry."
<Zoftan> SHIELD was nice enough to send over a diagram - it's a basic federal cargo airliner, the kind that has a large cargo bay underneath and passenger seating above. Pretty large, all things considered.
<Zoftan> There are four crew - the pilot and co-pilot plus two air marshals.
<Zoftan> It'll take a little while to intercept the jet, since it's flying over Jersey at the moment, so the question becomes: what's your plan? How do you intend to get on board?
<Moon_Knight> That is a good question.
<Deadpool> "Jump on the plane, smash in the cockpit window and take control"
<Zoftan> I mean you could just open the door but that'd depressurize the cabin.
<Moon_Knight> "Decompression. You could teleport in and open the cargo bay?"
<Deadpool> "Yes but then you don't get the cool decompression scene!"
<Zoftan> That's definitely a possibility; the bay is big enough to fit the moon copter in (albeit just barely, since there's a lot of gold in it already).
<Deadpool> "Do you think we can load the Moon Copter with some of that gold?"
<Moon_Knight> "We should probably avoid the decompression. Tends to be deadly to most people. And yes. Yes we can."
<Deadpool> "Good, because they didn't say that gold had to be safe, only that the plane had to be safe."
<Moon_Knight> "Exactly."
<Zoftan> The Avengers
<Moon_Knight> we're robbing from the rich to uh... give to the less rich

Our heroes, everybody!

Fortunately, the Moon-copter moves at the speed of plot, so they manage to track down the hijacked airliner quickly and without too much difficulty. Moon Knight pulls up alongside it, taking care not to be seen, and the copter's stealth prevents the hijackers from detecting them on radar. Thousands and thousands of feet in the air, Deadpool leaps out the side of the helicopter...

<Moon_Knight> "I think they'll be surprised regardless. Oh, make sure to check for people in the cargo bay before you open the door - if we're going to give them back less than all of the gold, we should make sure the pilot etc survive."
<Deadpool> "Okay... I'll do that..."
* Deadpool sighs can't people be do an effort and not die of something as stupid as lack of air, they don't put any effort in it.
<Zoftan> You pull up underneath the plane, and Deadpool has a reasonably good line of sight for where the hold should be - according to the schematics, at least.
<Zoftan> Dippy, give me a roll against the doom pool to teleport in without alerting anybody or causing an incident.
<Deadpool> Okay so buddy, totally insane, teleporter
<Deadpool> 'We're buddies Moon Knight! BUDDIES!'
<Deadpool> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d6]: 6>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d8]: 1>
* Moon_Knight nods solemnly.
<Deadpool> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d6]: 1>
<Moon_Knight> ...oh boy

We're off to a fantastic start. All the doom pool has to do is beat 6 using a d6 and a d8. It is very, very difficult for it not to crush all of Deadpool's hopes and dreams here and send him falling out of the sky.]

<Zoftan> Feel free to take a PP, because I'm going to go ahead and add that d6 to the doom pool
<Zoftan> Speaking of which, the pool rolls against you...
<Zoftan> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d6]: 5>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 1>
<Zoftan> ...
<Zoftan> LMAO.
<Deadpool> haha
<Moon_Knight> :D

This is actually not the last time the doom pool or a villainous NPC completely blows what should otherwise be a gimme. Regardless, despite his staggering inability to teleport, Deadpool makes it in.

<Zoftan> The trip through does not go quite as smoothly as you expected.
<Zoftan> I mean, you can't see where you're teleporting, so you don't know if something occupies the same space as you. That's why Nightcrawler only teleports places he can see. I mean granted, he can't regenerate.
<Zoftan> The point is, you safely make it into the hold, only to crash into a stack of gold bars and send them spilling across the hold, where they promptly slam into a control panel.
<Moon_Knight> ...uhoh
<Deadpool> "oops..."
<Zoftan> (this is off to the best start ever)
<Zoftan> That does at least save you the trouble of opening the cargo bay, because the doors pop open almost instantly as everything begins sliding around.
* Deadpool gasps, "crap, buddy stuff's going to fall out!"
* Moon_Knight sees the doors opening. "Good job, Wa-wait what?"
<Zoftan> "Uh, this is your captain speaking," says a pleasant female voice over the intercom. "Would the idiot who opened the cargo bay please report to the cockpit so that they can be safely ejected from the plane? Unless it's you, Deathstrike, in which case, uh...disregard."
<Deadpool> If that gold falls out it will be someone's worst or best day.
<Zoftan> There is some grumbling from inside the plane proper, and a moment later, the maintenance hatch opens and someone drops in from the cabin.
<Zoftan> Hey, you know this person, Deadpool - it's another of your Weapon X alumni, Lady Deathstrike.
<Deadpool> "Oh Deadstrike is here! Hi Deadstrike!"
<Zoftan> "What happened to the--" There's a pause as she takes in the scene: Deadpool in a pile of gold bars and a moon-shaped helicopter flying outside the bay. "...Of course."

Lady Deathstrike is kind of like a female Wolverine. Okay, a female Asian Wolverine. We have to get increasingly specific about this kind of thing as more opposite-gender Wolverines pop up. Thanks, X-23. In canon, of course, neither she nor her associates were here; the plane was hijacked by Crusader.

Who's Crusader, you ask? That's exactly why the scenario is different.

Anyway, Deadpool charges, sword in hand, and gets some XP for referencing his past connections.

<Deadpool> "Hey there, remember me?"
<Zoftan> Deathstrike pops her claws as you charge. "WILSOOOOOON"
<Zoftan> "Don't think I've forgotten what happened in Okinawa!"
<Deadpool> "One little incident and you're all WILSOOOOOON!"

He scores an extraordinary success, but one thing about moving up from guys like Scorcher, Eel, and the Frightful Four to legit A-listers is that the serious villains tend to have a lot more tactical options available. Observe:

<Deadpool> "We didn't even have a night of passion! We should have gotten that at least."
<Zoftan> There's a flash of blades as you collide, and Deadpool's sword sweeps through Deathstrike's guard and cuts across her collarbone!
<Zoftan> She snarls, and there's a surge of power from her as the adamantium bonding takes over (d6 doom, adamantium SFX), followed by a counterattack! (another d6 doom)
<Zoftan> The slash from your katana left you a bit open, and she kicks you in the gut, which would normally just knock you down.
<Zoftan> ...Unfortunately, you're in the cargo bay of a flying plane, with the doors hanging open...
<Zoftan> ...and so Deadpool flies backwards out the bay doors from the impact!
<Moon_Knight> hah
<Zoftan> With a THUD, he lands on the nose of the Moon-copter!
<Zoftan> You gain a complication - d8 Very Shaky Ground
<Deadpool> "Don't worry I'm alright!"

For the moment, at least. The follow-up a second later might change that.

<Zoftan> Another d6 doom and the huge gash from Deadpool's katana heals back together!
<Zoftan> "Well, sometimes you have to take a loss to make a net gain."
<Zoftan> THWACK
<Zoftan> Her claws cut a huge stack of gold loose from its tether, and it flies out the back of the plane straight for the Moon-copter.
<Moon_Knight> "Oh this might not be good."
<Zoftan> MK's gotta dodge that with his piloting skills.
<Zoftan> Here comes the roll, one sec...
<Zoftan> Solo, Cyborg Samurai Assassin, d12 Adamantium Claws (stepped up because of last turn's adamantium stunt), Combat Master
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 6>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 3>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d12]: 11>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 4>
<Zoftan> 18, d10 effect die
<Moon_Knight> eep
<Moon_Knight> Okay. Trying to uh, dodge that.
<Zoftan> "What the hell is going on down there?" demands the voice on the plane's intercom. "The weight indicators keep fluctuating. We'd better not be losing gold."
<Deadpool> MK should have complication called Deadpool's ass in his windshield.
<Moon_Knight> solo d10, dangerous past d8, enhanced reflexes d8, vehicles expert d8
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d10]: 6>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d8]: 7>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d8]: 4>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d8]: 7>
<Deadpool> You can get a 20 if you spent a pp
<Moon_Knight> I'll drop a PP to include another die, so 20
<Zoftan> Nice
<Zoftan> There's a lot of gold coming at you, but fortunately the copter's pretty small, and you're a damn good pilot.
<Zoftan> You maneuver through the flurry of bullion, narrowly avoiding getting clipped a couple times, and pull up much closer to the bay than you were before.
<Moon_Knight> "I wonder what it would take to get a copy of Jarvis installed in this thing."
<Deadpool> "I don't know, Tony doesn't like to share his toys."
<Zoftan> perhaps you can install a Frenchie AI
<Zoftan> "RUNNING LE AUTOPILOT, HON HON HON"
<Moon_Knight> XD
<Deadpool> <3

Having scored well at his piloting roll, MK brings the copter in close and docks it in the cargo hold. He's got just enough time for a proper action this round, and he takes advantage in style.

<Moon_Knight> Hopping out of the copter, Moon Knight dashes towards the control panel, hurling crescent darts at Deathstrike with one hand.
<Zoftan> Thankfully, the copter has some basic autopilot functions, so it's able to land on its own after you guide it in, leaving you free to hurl a flurry of darts!
<Moon_Knight> so d8 buddy, d8 dangerous past, d12 weapon, d10 enhanced strength, d10 combat master
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d8]: 8>
<Zoftan> Excellent
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d8]: 2>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d12]: 11>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d10
<Zoftan> Oh Jesus.
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d10]: 1>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d10]: 1>
<Moon_Knight> ...wow.
<Deadpool> that's no good.

Deadpool says 'that's no good' but that's a NINETEEN. The fact that 19 is considered reasonably low on the Moon Knight rolling scale says a lot, I think.

<Zoftan> All right, you get two PP for that roll because I need to refill the doom pool
<Moon_Knight> Okay, so 19 with a d8 effect
<Zoftan> Okay! Deathstrike's got the claws out and she's going to try to swat your darts out of the air using her Weapon X reflexes.
<Zoftan> Solo, Cyborg Samurai Assassin, Adamantium Claws, Enhanced Reflexes (stepped down, Multipower), Combat Master
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 9>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 2>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 1>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d6]: 1>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 9>
<Zoftan> BY ONE
<Moon_Knight> :D
<Moon_Knight> I'll trigger that d6 to step up my enhanced strength until the end of the scene
<Zoftan> Four darts get through the flurry of claws, and stick right into the mutant samurai cyborg assassin.
<Zoftan> There's a feral snarl - you seem to have made her upset.

Deadpool decides to cover Moon Knight, who's running for the control console. He teleports down and double-taps the mutant cyborg samurai assassin in the back - he gets another extraordinary success, inflicting major physical stress.

<Zoftan> "We're losing gold!" says the intercom. "Get the doors closed and get back up here - the hostages aren't going to watch themselves."
<Zoftan> You caught her off guard because she was focused on Moon Knight - a quick double-tap to the back knocks her on her knees.
<Zoftan> Still up and running, though!
<Deadpool> "Get her!"
* Moon_Knight continues hurling darts as he moves towards the console.
<Moon_Knight> buddy d8, dangerous past d8, weapon d12, enh. strength d12, combat master d10
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d8]: 6>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d8]: 2>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d12]: 12>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d12]: 4>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d10
<Zoftan> Oh wow.
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d10]: 6>
<Moon_Knight> 18 with a d12
<Zoftan> That will do it, if it connects!
<Moon_Knight> :D
<Zoftan> Solo, Cyborg Samurai Assassin, Superhuman Stamina, Combat Master, and using the SFX Death Rage to borrow a d10 from the doom pool, then step it up after the roll and put it back in.
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 9>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 6>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 1>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 6>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 2>

Death Rage, you are the worst SFX. It does put another die in the Doom Pool, at least, which will come into play a little later.

<Zoftan> Deathstrike is right in the midst of getting up to strike at Deadpool when another flurry of crescent darts stops her in her tracks. At this point there's like nine of them embedded in her.
<Zoftan> The combined impact knocks her sprawling, and it looks like she's stressed out for the moment, leaving MK free to close the doors to the cargo bay.
* Deadpool grabs her body and throws her out of the plane making sure he sees the body fall far below the plane. "She'll probably survive it."
<Moon_Knight> "I think I'd have dismembered her first.'
<Deadpool> "Well that would only piss her off... best just put her in a place where she can't interfere."
<Zoftan> It turns out you were wise to do that because after about the first thirty feet you can clearly see Lady Deathstrike revive in midair and begin shouting in rage as she falls.
* Deadpool waves goodbye.

Had they just left her lying down there, she might have reanimated in the cargo hold, and shown up to be a serious problem at the worst possible moment. (When I say 'might' I mean 'would', with an additional meaning of 'my players have grown too wise for their own good'.)

<Zoftan> "FINALLY," says the intercom. "Get back up here and help keep an eye on the hostages, we're already most of the way there."
<Zoftan> There is actually a way from the hold up to the cabin - it's a maintenance hatch used for emergencies. Deathstrike dropped through it to get down to where you are now.
<Zoftan> You don't know what's waiting for you in the rest of the ship, although it doesn't look like they're too suspicious at the moment. Probably just assumed there was a mechanical error.
<Moon_Knight> "Okay. We need to rescue the hostages, but it'd also be nice to find out where we're headed."
<Moon_Knight> "Plus there's still gold to be loaded."
<Deadpool> "True... let's do one thing at a time, first we're going to have a party."
<Moon_Knight> "So... hostages first?"
<Deadpool> "No first the baddies."
<Zoftan> Uh oh, dissension.
<Deadpool> "I said party, not boring hero stuff."
<Moon_Knight> "Well, yeah. But where?"
<Moon_Knight> "I guess we could just head upstairs and see what's waiting for us. Probably a good first step."
* Deadpool points at the hatch, "Wonders await us there... or death, you never can tell with hatches... it's a conspiracy."
<Zoftan> You know there's at least one more hostile, specifically in the cockpit, and that the cabin is divided into three sections: cockpit, passenger seating, and the tail space where the air marshal supplies are kept.
<Zoftan> Oooh. Gonna poke your head up?
<Deadpool> YES!
* Deadpool looks at Moon_Knight, "I'll poke you watch, if I come back without a head you know something bad is going on..."
<Moon_Knight> "Right. I need my head, you can go either way, so that sounds like a good plan."

Deadpool pokes his head up and, astonishingly, is not decapitated. In fact, there's no one in sight - the hatch opens up into the passenger area of the plane, which is completely empty at the moment.

<Deadpool> "I think.... I think we're in an empty plane! Wanna split up?"
<Moon_Knight> "That.... Sounds like an excellent idea."
<Zoftan> "...Okay," says the woman on the intercom.
<Zoftan> "The events of five minutes ago, plus the fact that Yuriko's pretty quiet, even for her, suggest that we've got a problem."
<Zoftan> "Check the hostages again. We might have to do something villainous."

Uh oh.

* Moon_Knight dashes towards the tail section of the plane.
<Zoftan> Alright, MK's headed for the back!
* Deadpool runs to the cockpit!
<Zoftan> SPLIT-SCREEN TIME
<Zoftan> You're both acting as solo for the moment, FYI.
<Moon_Knight> Got it.
<Deadpool> Yep
<Zoftan> Okay, first, Moon Knight: you push through the curtain to the back, and lo and behold you've found the hostages!
<Zoftan> All four appear to be alive at the moment, which is pretty impressive - if you'd taken much longer or aroused more suspicion, some of them might have been executed.
<Moon_Knight> Huzzah.
<Zoftan> At present, though, three of them - the pilot, co-pilot, and one of the marshals - are tied up on the floor, and the fourth is on his feet with a shank being held to his throat...by the master assassin, BULLSEYE
<Moon_Knight> Ahhhhh crap.
<Zoftan> This dramatic reveal is slightly hampered by the bewildered look he gives you as you burst in.
<Zoftan> "...How did you even get in here?"
<Moon_Knight> "Moonbeams. Let them go."
<Zoftan> "Heh. Come get them."

Meanwhile, at the other end of the plane, Deadpool breaks into the cockpit, possibly in (vain) hopes of being able to fly it.

<Zoftan> The door to the cockpit is closed, but it's not locked, so Deadpool is able to heave it open pretty easily.
<Zoftan> Inside, manning the controls, is the lifestone-bearer, MOONSTONE
<Deadpool> "Hey sexy lady!"
<Zoftan> She's a little less amazed than Bullseye, and seems mostly annoyed. "Great. A whole roster of Avengers, and I get you."
<Deadpool> "Man you look a lot hotter than in the comics... Remember that night in Paris?"
<Zoftan> This gets you the Sociopath Glare.
<Zoftan> "Okay. Tell you what."
<Zoftan> "Assuming you didn't throw all my gold out the plane, we split it fifty-fifty and go our separate ways. Eh?"
* Deadpool considers the deal, "No I'll take the 10xp instead! Also I've got a grenade."
<Zoftan> Moonstone sighs. "At least it wasn't another Ms. Marvel joke. All right, let's do this."
<Deadpool> "Okay hold on for a second, do you really want to fight with me Moonbean, I have grenades that might could destroy the controls and crash the plane... now I can survive a crash, can you?"
<Zoftan> She hovers off the floor a little. "Yeah. By not being in it."

Combat gets started - both sets of opponents are evenly matched in terms of reflexes, but the villains win the high/low coin toss, so Moonstone starts off with a blinding flash of light.

<Zoftan> She might actually be able to match you strike-for-strike but that's not really her style; instead she decides to put some space between you and use a flash of lifestone energy to disorient you.
<Zoftan> (this is mental stress)
<Zoftan> Solo, Always Scheming, Energy Blast, Combat Expert, extra d6 effect die step up from Dazzling Burst
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 6>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 3>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 7>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 5>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d6]: 3>
<Zoftan> 13, d10 effect die
* Deadpool turns away real quickly and goes "can't see you, can't see you, neener neener, can't see you!"
<Zoftan> :D
<~Kittens> fahahaha
<Moon_Knight> :D
<Deadpool> Solo, Merc with a mouth, enhanced reflexes, acrobatic expert
<Deadpool> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d10]: 6>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d8]: 7>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d10]: 5>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d10]: 7>
<Deadpool> 14
<Deadpool> "See I told you I can't see you!"
<Zoftan> Nice. You cover your eyes and she doesn't exist anymore!
<Deadpool> "...wait where are you?"
<Zoftan> Oh, wait, she does, but you can SEE that, which kinda defeats the purpose of her attack.
<Zoftan> In the time it took for that to happen, Moonstone's darted by you and gotten into the passenger area so she's got more space to move. Still, you're not dizzy from it, so you're ahead of the curve.
<Zoftan> "Ugh. Nothing's ever easy, is it?"

An impenetrable defense. Moon Knight, meanwhile, tries to relieve Bullseye of his knife and his hostage, and does a damn fine job at it.

<Moon_Knight> Okay. Going to grab for the arm holding the knife at the hostage's neck, try to yank it away (and possibly break it and Bullseye)
<Moon_Knight> with the truncheon
<Zoftan> Okay!
<Moon_Knight> solo d10, dangerous past d8, weapon d12, enhanced strength d12, combat master d10, and I'll spend a PP to include enhanced reflexes d8 into the pool
<Zoftan> Word.
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d10]: 7>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d8]: 4>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d12]: 12>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d12]: 6>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d10]: 3>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d8]: 3>
<Moon_Knight> so 19 with a d12, I'll spend another PP to add the 4 to it to make 23 with a d12
<Deadpool> nice
<Moon_Knight> hostages are important, need to prove we're capable of functioning on our own etc :P
<Zoftan> Bullseye's no slouch and sees you leaping for the hostage - he draws back the knife, and...
<Zoftan> Solo, Cold-Blooded Assassin, Weapon, Combat Master, using Focus to step up two d10s into a d12
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 7>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 4>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d12]: 10>
<Zoftan> SO CLOSE
<Moon_Knight> :D
<Zoftan> That is actually an extraordinary!
<Zoftan> As he brings the knife down, you intercept it with your truncheon! A quick redirection of Bullseye's momentum and you twist his arm, flipping him over as the hostage falls free.
<Zoftan> Because of the magnitude of your success he has a minor complication, too - d6 Slight Sprain
<Zoftan> There's a hiss of...frustration, really, as he pulls away. It MIGHT be pain but you wouldn't bet on it.

It's a good start and the hostages are momentarily out of danger, but Bullseye now has a hand free (even if his other wrist has been twisted a bit), and he's free to focus on Moon Knight.

Remember Deadpool's 'Unpredictable' SFX? The one that lets him reroll his entire dice pool if he doesn't like the results?

<Zoftan> Solo, Deadly Accuracy, Weapon, Combat Master (focus again to make two d10s a d12)
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 2>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 8>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d12]: 7>
<Zoftan> Ehhhhhh...
<Zoftan> d6 doom
<Zoftan> It passes by your head...
<Zoftan> ...ricochets off a wall...
<Zoftan> ...hits the compartment directly over you...
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 4>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 8>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d12]: 10>
<Moon_Knight> Eep.
<Zoftan> ...and drops a heap of luggage!
<Zoftan> 18, d10 effect die.

Surprise!

Moon Knight gets all the cases dropped on him, but fortunately he has an SFX of his own that counters physical stress. He steps down the effect die, and can use it next round as part of his attack (because MK basically fights like Rocky Balboa and lets you get tired punching him in the face).

<Zoftan> "Heh." Bullseye's grin is infuriating. "I never miss."
<Zoftan> Deadpool is last up this round!
<Deadpool> Okay...
* Deadpool takes out his swords and goes for a close an personal attack on Moonstone... "I attack you with a d10 sword!"
<Zoftan> "What does that even mean?!"
<Deadpool> solo, totally insane, swords, enhanced reflexes, combat master. "I don't know!"

This might be a bad idea. Consider what happened when Deadpool canonically tried to throw down with Moonstone. Sure enough..

<Zoftan> All right, looks like Moonstone's gonna try to match you head-on - she brings a forearm up to block the sword. There's a flash of sparks as the katana collides with her radial bone, and the two of you struggle in place!
<Zoftan> Who goes next?
<Deadpool> MK!
* Moon_Knight rises from the pile of luggage like an angry kraken!
<Zoftan> :D
<Moon_Knight> swinging at him with nunchuks (because they are more tentacle-y than a truncheon)
<Deadpool> :D
<Zoftan> UNLEASH THE BLOOPER
<Moon_Knight> solo d10, dangerous past d8, weapon d12, enhanced strength d12, combat master d10, take a punch d8, minor sprain d6
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d10]: 2>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d8]: 5>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d12]: 5>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d12]: 5>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d10]: 8>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d8]: 6>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d6
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d6]: 1>
<Zoftan> WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF ZOFTAN
<Moon_Knight> hahahah
<Moon_Knight> wow
<Moon_Knight> okay, drop a PP to include an extra die
<Zoftan> Where you can create a twelve-dice pool and still come up with a total of 15
<Deadpool> Poor Zoft.
<Moon_Knight> 19 w/ d12
<Zoftan> Oh, nice.
<Zoftan> Man that is a stiff roll.
<Moon_Knight> it's basically a roll that had two PP dumped into it, 19 is low-end, but hopefully does the job!

NINETEEN IS NOT LOW-END GOD DAMN IT

<Zoftan> Well, the good news is you're on the offense and charging Bullseye, amidst all the dropped luggage.
<Zoftan> The bad news is there's luggage strewn everywhere, which means it's basically an arsenal!
<Zoftan> He grabs a fallen gun case and throws it right for you!
<Zoftan> Solo, Deadly Accuracy, Weapon, Combat Master, focus again
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 8>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 8>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d12]: 5>
<Zoftan> But with a swat of your nunchuks, you knock it aside and give him one right in the solar plexus!
<Zoftan> It knocks the wind out of him and sends him falling into the aisles, meaning you're getting progressively closer to Moonstone and Deadpool.

Hey, remember how Moonstone was flying the plane, and then got into a fight with Deadpool?

About this time, it may occur to you guys, depending on your lucidity at this particular moment (which, admittedly, is variable), that nobody is flying the plane.
<Moon_Knight> ...hm.
<Deadpool> Deadpool does not care about the lack of pilot!

You can't see this, but on the condition tracker, the plane's status has changed from 'Relatively Intact (If Slightly Poorer) to 'God Is Not Your Copilot'.

<Zoftan> So as you may recall, Deadpool, you're locked in a Star Warsian sword clash between your katana and her bare arm. Man, Lifestones are serious business.
<Moon_Knight> yes, Moonstone!
<Zoftan> You're up real close, face to face, and she glares with supreme contempt.
<Zoftan> "Not finding me the pushover you expected? Hah. What, did you blackmail your way into the Avengers?"
<Zoftan> "Or do they just prefer to keep you close so they can put you down easier once you go on a rampage? I'm guessing that's as much of the time of day as they prefer to give you."

Moonstone rolls to inflict emotional stress, and gets a 21 because she's pro as fuck at manipulating people. For some people this would result in nearly instant trauma - an extraordinary success would immediately stress most characters out here.

* Deadpool seems happy, as if he's having an hallucination. He's dancing with the Ambassadors daughter at the Embassy's ball!

Deadpool is not 'most people', and he counters in kind.

* Deadpool dances, he hears her say something but before he can think about what she says he already is talking "Shhht now your papa isn't looking." I spend an extra PP to make it an actual attack because he moves to kiss her!
<Zoftan> if this connects it will be the greatest counterattack in history (plus you can step up your effect die)
<Deadpool> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d10]: 10>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d8]: 6>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d10]: 9>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d18
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d18]: 8>
<Deadpool> ignore that one
<Deadpool> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d8]: 2>
<Deadpool> so I spend a PP to add a die to my pool
<Zoftan> That was actually pretty good. Give me your final total and effect die and we shall see what happened.
<Deadpool> 24 and a 1d10 effect
<Zoftan> Hah!
<Moon_Knight> XD
<Zoftan> Moonstone's lips are moving but all you really hear is Charlie Brown noises.
<Zoftan> Eventually you kinda come out into clarity, as it were, and it changes into "wooonk wooonk woooooonk wooonk and if they knew half the things you've done, they'd MMMMMMMPPPPHHHHHHH"
<Deadpool> Hahahaha
<Zoftan> The clinch breaks very abruptly, and she actually falls over and scrambles away from you, spitting frantically onto the floor.
<Deadpool> <3
<Zoftan> It's just a torrent of sputtering interspersed with some serious profanity.
<Zoftan> d12 emotional stress to Moonstone, who is traumatized for the rest of her life. "UGH! You asshole, what kind of contagious...gyah! (bleh) Fucking..."
<Zoftan> "I HATE YOU"
<Moon_Knight> XD
<Deadpool> ROFL

Well, that's one way to do it. Bullseye, meanwhile, is primed to seek revenge, and he's not doing it by kissing Moon Knight.

<Zoftan> Remember that gun case you knocked aside? Yeah, it burst open, and he's got an actual gun from it.
<Moon_Knight> Balls.
<Zoftan> "...Nice. Well, that works out, doesn't it?"
<Zoftan> He pulls the trigger...
<Zoftan> Solo, Deadly Accuracy, Weapon, Combat Master, focus again
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 4>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 4>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d12]: 11>
<Zoftan> ....ehhhhh
<Zoftan> d6 doom
<Zoftan> CLICK
<Zoftan> CLICK CLICK CLICK
<Zoftan> "...Of course they don't transport these things loaded."
<Zoftan> A quick flick of his unsprained wrist and Bullseye catches the pistol by its barrel...
<Zoftan> "Well, nothing like improv. CATCH!"

All right, this is where the reroll SFX can go totally awry. That was kind of okay roll, and I was hoping for a great roll by using the SFX. What I got instead was this:

<Zoftan> Same dice pool!
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 10>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 2>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d12
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d12]: 1>
<Zoftan> ...Well, I gambled, and guess what
<Zoftan> 10, with a d8 effect die :P
<Moon_Knight> I'm gonna activate that to inflict a d12 complication, guns are sharp
<Zoftan> haha
<Zoftan> "OW, SHIT"
<Zoftan> "WHO FILED DOWN THE FUCKING SLIDE"
<Moon_Knight> :D
<Zoftan> His throw goes pretty damn wild. There is now a bloody pistol flying sort-of at you.
* Deadpool sees Bulleye, "Oh hey Bullseye, Remember me, I'm Deadpool, I'm a bit busy... like I'm in a hallucination, just kissed the Ambassador's daughter... I think she likes me."
<Zoftan> There's kind of a half-turn and the world's greatest assassin beholds the fucking tableaux behind him.
<Zoftan> "...What?"
<Zoftan> "KILL HIM!" screams Moonstone, clawing across the floor of the cabin. "He...just stab him or something, goddammit!"
<Zoftan> "Karla, I've got problems of my own here!"

Moon Knight rolls terribly, but he only had to beat a 10, so...

<Zoftan> Anyway, you just kinda lean your head to one side and the gun flies by.
<Zoftan> Wow, combat's lasted for like three rounds! This is unprecedented.
<Moon_Knight> It is!
<Zoftan> ROUND FOUR STARTS, and the two of you have Moonstone and Bullseye cornered in the middle of the cabin. She's spluttering and horrified, and he's been knocked around pretty bad.
<Zoftan> Dropping into a back-to-back position, they stare you both down.

It's sort of an impasse - Deadpool and Moon Knight could probably win the fight, but you know what they say about cornered snakes, and they really can't risk doing too much damage to the airliner. Moon Knight decides to try diplomacy, and Deadpool lends him a psych asset to help out.

<Moon_Knight> "Alright you two, do the math here. We're winning this fight, and we have an escape route. You're losing, and you don't. Give up now and maybe we can actually fly the plane instead of you dying horribly."
<Zoftan> Moon Knight makes an excellent point - the plane is starting to kinda tilt to one side and you're clearly not flying on any kind of course anymore.
<Zoftan> Give Deadpool a PP and he can lend you his psych expertise!!
<Moon_Knight> consider it done!
<Deadpool> woo, you get a d8
<Zoftan> Alright, Deadpool, give him either a Menace or Psych asset and describe how you chip in on the whole 'talk the supervillains down' thing.
<Moon_Knight> better than the nothing I had!
* Deadpool makes a boom sound and handmotions when MK talks about the plane crashing. "Kaboom"
<Moon_Knight> XD
<Zoftan> :D
<Moon_Knight> nothing like a little visual aid
* Deadpool continues with wiggling fingers "i'm on fire... and dieing"
<Zoftan> Deadpool's boardroom presentations are a thing of legend.
<Deadpool> and he ends with blowing a raspberry and making the 'drop dead hand gesture' then he does the funeral march.
<Zoftan> All right, you get a d8 psych asset: You're About To Make A Mistake
<Moon_Knight> okay, rolling it!
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d8]: 6>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d8]: 2>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d8]: 5>
<Moon_Knight> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Moon_Knight [1d8]: 2>
<Moon_Knight> ...ohboy.
<Moon_Knight> 11 with a d8

...this is not a great roll. Most characters are not specced for social combat, at least, so he stands a chance of talking them down, but it's not a huge one.

<Zoftan> Bullseye reacts first. Buddy, Cold-Blooded Assassin, Psych Expert
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 5>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 7>

Like here, for example. Bullseye has Moon Knight's roll beat with two of his three dice, all he needs now is an effect die. This means that all he needs to do is NOT ROLL A ONE, and he'll be fine.

<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 1>
<Zoftan> ....if he had rolled ANYTHING BUT A ONE

I swear, you can't even make this shit up.

Moonstone, on the other hand, passes with flying colors and makes a Villainous Exit. At this point, something surprising happens and sends the session in a direction I didn't expect it to go.

<Zoftan> There's kind of a moment of silence after MK's offer.
<Zoftan> Moonstone glances over her shoulder and sees that Bullseye's trailing blood, the plane's off course, they've probably lost some of the gold...
<Zoftan> "...Okay. Ben, you know what you have to do. Don't make it hard on yourself."
<Zoftan> He barely gets out a "Wait, wha--" before she kicks open the emergency exit (superhuman strength!) and is promptly sucked out of the plane.
* Deadpool jumps after her!
<Zoftan> The atmospheric pressure, thankfully, slams the--OH GOD
<Moon_Knight> ... :o
<Zoftan> Oh my god, hahaha.
* Moon_Knight ....doesn't
<Zoftan> Deadpool LEAPS OUT OF THE PLANE, the fraction of a second before the door slams shut again.
<Zoftan> Bullseye, with an expression like a terrified anime, watches this entire exchange and then just shrugs.
<Zoftan> "...Yeah, okay, I'll come quietly."
<Zoftan> "Not gonna top that."
<Zoftan> We'll let MK finish up on the plane before switching to the Impromptu Skydive
* Moon_Knight cuffs Bullseye to a seat and then pummels him into unconsciousness.
<Zoftan> A quick truncheon to the back of the neck, just like in the movies, sends Bullseye into dreamland, leaving you free to assume the controls.
* Moon_Knight actually frees the hostages and lets them assume the controls
<Zoftan> Oh, good call, that. Fortunately, the airplane is intact - if it were damaged in the fight, there might have been problems.
* Moon_Knight then settles in for a well-deserved nap.
<Zoftan> "Thanks!" says one of the air marshals - the one you saved from being jugulated. "You saved our lives!"
<Moon_Knight> "And also most of the gold."
<Moon_Knight> "Now go fly the plane. I'm tired."
<Zoftan> "I'll take living over the gold anyday. We'll let you know when we're landing."

As Moon Knight wraps up the hostage situation, Deadpool is busy plummeting from the atmosphere because he jumped out of a plane thousands of feet in the air to chase an escaping villain who can fly, which he cannot.

<Deadpool> "ISABELLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" (That's the name of the ambassador's daughter,) "WAIT FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, WE'LL ELOPE TOGETHER!"
<Zoftan> She's about thirty feet below you, and there's a bit of horizontal distance as well.
<Deadpool> Well, that's what guns are for, a nice shotgun for example.
<Zoftan> At the sound of your shouting, she kinda 'rolls' in midair to see where it's coming from, and..."Oh GOD DAMMIT"
<Deadpool> So... Solo, Death Wish, Guns Reflexes, Combat Master!
<Deadpool> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d10]: 5>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d8]: 5>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d10]: 6>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d10]: 7>
<Deadpool> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Deadpool [1d10]: 6>
<Deadpool> 13 and a 1d10 effect die
<Zoftan> Let's see if that Lifestone-bestowed superstrength can protect against a shotgun blast.
Zoftan> Solo, Bound to Power, Superhuman Durability, Combat Expert
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 1>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d8
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d8]: 2>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 1>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 5>
<Zoftan> ...
<ESpiza> lmao
<Deadpool> hahaha
<Zoftan> Moonstone is SO ASTONISHED that anyone on the planet is crazed enough to jump out of a flying plane in order to chase her, without being able to fly, that she forgets to dodge.
<Zoftan> So that's d12 physical stress and she is dazed as hell - you nailed her full in the torso with double-aught buckshot.

Deadpool narrowly avoids being megaton-punched in the balls and grabs Moonstone in midair. What is he planning for his fight-ending maneuver?

* Deadpool holds a grenade next to her face, "I survive this, you don't, land slowly or we blow up."

Well, it's completely insane, potentially suicidal, and yet sort of ingenious. Quintessential Deadpool, really. Moonstone, no stranger to head games herself (as we've seen already), stares the Merc With A Mouth down and tries to figure out whether she should call him on his bluff. Considering he got a 21, it's apparently a very convincing one.

<Zoftan> There is a very long staredown as the ground approaches the two of you. You can see the wheels turning...
<Zoftan> Solo, Master Manipulator (d4 and add doom because Deadpool is telling the truth), Psych Master
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 3>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d4
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d4]: 4>
<Zoftan> #roll 1d10
-RPGServ:#TheHiddenRoom- <Roll for Zoftan [1d10]: 3>
<Zoftan> ...and with a slow, annoyed sigh, Moonstone slows down.
<Zoftan> After a moment, you alight gently on the shores of Lake Michigan.
<Zoftan> There's already a bunch of SHIELD transports approaching, thankfully - they must have locked onto your transponders.
* Deadpool is mighty pleased of himself.
<Zoftan> She grumbles, and says some incredibly unkind things about you, but the SHIELD troops take Moonstone into custody without incident.
<Deadpool> :D
<Zoftan> A few seconds after it's confirmed, Spider-Woman comms both of you. "So that's all four hostages, and the plane's intact."
<Zoftan> "...Well, I suppose I owe you this much. You did great. Thanks."
<Moon_Knight> :D
<Deadpool> "Yep, but there's a testy deathstroke out there... she didn't have a moonbeam to land her safely."
<Zoftan> "Between those two, the Purple Man last week, and Graviton yesterday, we're starting to make headway on the serious supervillain problems out there."
<Zoftan> As if to celebrate your victory, a shooting star falls from the sky and streaks over the horizon.
<Zoftan> Strangely, it's blue.

Find out what that was next issue, true believers! -Smilin' Stan

<Zoftan> "Good job out there, Avengers. Uh...Deadpool, you can get a ride with the transports if you need one."
<Deadpool> "Thanks... can you tell them, they don't seem to want to ride with me."
<Zoftan> "Yeeeaaaahhh, there's a reas...okay, yeah, will do."
<Zoftan> "I'll let you two know if there's--" A pause.
<Zoftan> "Oh, hell. Hang on, Coulson needs mission support. Job well done - we'll see you round, gentlemen."
<Deadpool> "'kay bye!"
<Moon_Knight> "Bye Deputy!"
<Zoftan> "...(mutter mutter mutter)"

There's something to be said for dressing up the mentally ill in costumes and sending them to fight terrorists, I guess. Although their methods are often questionable at best, Deadpool and Moon Knight have pulled off the job today, and without anybody dying or any buildings blowing up - you can't argue with those results. They can stand beside the more straight-laced Captain America types with pride (well, beside and slightly behind them, so as to intercept anyone coming in to cheapshot Captain America from behind. They're expecting it because that's the exact tactic they'd take.)

What's the rest of the group up to? Will there be ramifications for the widespread destruction caused by Lucia von Bardas? Should Deadpool and Moon Knight get an ongoing in Marvel Team-Up? (Stuff, yes, and probably. They were rhetorical questions.)

Next issue: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Asskicking

This is so goddamned amazing.