A delicate situation...

Last night, one of my concubines thought it would be a good idea to give me a handjob with the new shampoo that she bought. Well, not so much.

Don't get me wrong, it did the job, but a little before she finished I was getting a slight burn down there. The burn soon evolved into what I can only compare to the feeling of putting sandpaper to it, and I am pretty miserable at the moment.

Can anyone give me suggestions as to how I can . . . heal . . myself? I have a lot of different lotions though I am afraid to try, thinking that it might just increase the burn I am experiencing.

For the time being I have just been dipping it in ice water, though that is uncomfortable in itself.

At this point it is bright red and is actually shedding the skin. This has me worried quite a bit, and I could really use some advice as to my situation.

Thanks.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh

Literally no evidence I can find would insinuate that this is a viable method of obtaining sexual climax.

Perhaps you should register your concubines for a sexual education course. If you like, I am confident that I can locate several in your area.

I have no advice in regards to your genitalia.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Go to a doctor, and ask him for some painkiller, and maybe for some permanent solution before it drops off and you bleed to death.

Next time you should just use conditioner instead of shampoo; doesn't burn and works far better.

...

Uh. Not that I would, I mean I-

VOTE VALLARIO.

It sounds like an allergic and/or toxic reaction. Consult a physician as soon as possible.

And stop talking about it here.

You should probably contact a dermatologist. The sooner the better.

Dude, I was doing some Reflex a few years ago, and I totally thought that my plates were pealing off, you sure you're not on that, or the levo equivalent?

this is not okay

thirty migs sodium bicarbonate mixed wit' hot water, an' a real 'rough sponge

I suppose I can sell you some painkillers I keep for the pharmies.

Amputation.

omg why would you think




even wine would be better

your concubines are dumb as shit.

Why?!

MAN UP AN' SOLDIER THROUGH IT, Y'PUSSY

Never has the phrase "you're fucking telling me" been more appropriate.

Urakh, it's like someone filed it with a vorcha's jaw dripped in acid.


YOU DON'T GET TO TELL ME THAT I WILL HIRE PEOPLE TO DO IT TO YOU THEN YOUR OWN COCK WILL BE BLEEDING AND I'LL BE LAUGHING.

well I don't have a dick and even if i did, wouldn't be stupid enough to slather it with something that made my eyes burn

oh dis is important

after da sponge bit, ya might have a bit'a sloughin' action BUT DON'T WORRY IT'S JUS' DA SKIN COMIN' OFF

IT GROWS BACK

Shut up, you loathsome troglodyte HALF-WIT.