Critique Thread

This was on the old forum so I thought I'd post it here as well.

This is a thread for people to request a critique on their thread,character,etc.

If anyone would like to offer a critique of my character, I'd greatly appreciate it.

also gonna ask for some constructive criticism.

What can I do to make Barbados more firmly grounded without a complete 180?

^ Please ignore me if I'm not actually any help here; I haven't seen all the posts made by the character so I'm not sure if I'm missing anything that offers clues into who this person "really" is. But maybe he's a bit like my hanar character, only (I'm assuming) more unhealthy? By which I mean, maybe he embraces his outlook a little too enthusiastically because it's better than confronting the more negative realities that he doesn't feel up to confronting? (Although Barbados apparently heaps it on so thick that I'm not sure if any "hints" that he's not entirely the force for in-your-face love and bubbliness he shows himself to be would work within the context of his posting). Still, perhaps you could find a way to make him confront a vulnerability in some manner, enough to have him leave posts that distance him from his usual manner just enough that anyone paying attention to the board's cast of characters (and I'm sure many are :)), would note it as a sign of something going on beneath the surface? I mean, obviously all the characters are going to be more than they appear, and maybe you need to have Barbados' mask slip a bit. Give other posters a bit of insight into who or what he is. Maybe even write a small biography on the profile page, so those who are interested can pick up a few facts he isn't revealing on the forum?

I hope that made some sort of sense; again, ignore me if I'm talking nonsense.

Constructive criticism is more than welcome.

As always, let me know if there's anything I could improve. Suggestions are always welcome.

@Waves

Thank you :) Hopefully I can do a bit more to flesh him out as a 3D individual rather than spewing nonsense.

How do we do to exchange criticism, without MPs? Purely on IRC?
And of course I'm always happy to get some feedback on the most lovable slaver monster around :)

Feel free to PM me any constructive criticism on the old forums or on IRC

What do you guys think about Burke/VigilantVanguard?

Have at me.

Feel free to send any critiques for Epher/Aimless Drifter my way via PM, they will really help.

I'm more than happy to take constructive criticism as I iterated above.

Jumping on the bandwagon, feel free to take aim at all my characters.

Oh look, a bandwagon. Let's jump on.

I play K_O, TechTurian, That Guy and Alex the Supercop. Those last two probably only mean something to old forumers, but figured I'd throw them out there anyway. BRING IT ON.

I'm not really sure how criticism is being provided (although I recently created an account with the same name on the old site if you want to PM me), but if anyone's interested in providing it, I'd like feedback on whether I'm either coming on a bit too strong or failing to make enough of an impression. I've never really done something like this myself before and keep getting the feeling that something's off about my posts.

Wouldn't mind criticism for my threads. Send em to Asharia on the old boards if you've got em.

As always, I like me some constructive criticism. PM 'em to me on the old boards if you have 'em.

I know I posted in this thread already, but there are a couple of specific issues I'm developing with my characters that I think I'm badly in need of advice on:

nq29 (the character) is supposed to be something of a stereotypical interextranet know-it-all type, but not to a completely irredeemable or one-dimensional degree. I've been struggling to find a balance and would appreciate some feedback.

I'd also appreciate any help I can get on how to have Teilhard start showing more of its personality and less "generic hanar" traits, given that it's not likely to just open up to random people online.

Huuu, you know that almost each single CDN character is like already that right?