criteria for forgiveness

I should be back to the citadel soon, but I need to put this question out there.

What does a person have to do in order to be forgiven?

Does forgiving them mean you have to ever talk to them again?
...if only I could be so lucky.

Forgiveness depends on the context. Whether it is either a friend to whom you have had a falling out over some slight, or someone you know committed a terrible crime and is attempting to atone for it.

Lets confine this to the range of egregious failure of judgment causing major harm to violence inflicted on innocents. Serious stuff.

...No, you aren't getting out of talking to them.

There are some old cultures that do offer ways to gain forgiveness and not have to face the victim, but I would never recommend them, since I'm pretty sure you want to see your next birthday.

Usually, with crimes like that? If they're in actuality as ominous and terrible as they sound, the best course is to go to the local authorities and hand yourself in - and let your actions and intentions be weighed in a proper legal system. But I'm sure your smart and brave enough to have done that already were that the case, so I'm going to assume it's not that serious and you are (hopefully) overexagerrating.

Talk to the person, or group, and apologize. They may forgive you, they may not, and for some, that's enough for their conscious. For others, even being forgiven by the victim isn't enough, so if that's you, seek forgiveness in your own way - prayer, counseling (formal or otherwise), self-discovery, etc.

For someone to be forgiven...I think that they need to actually be sorry for what they did, or for what happened. Not just wanting to re-establish ties with you or put it behind them because it makes them uncomfortable but, you know, genuinely remorseful. If they show that they actually understand the pain of the other people involved, then you can forgive them. I'm not saying you want them to wallow in guilt or anything - I don't even think guilt is relevant, it's just understanding. Empathy. Because if they can show that you can trust that it won't happen again.

That's why I find it hard to forgive, really: the lack of acknowledgement. Not that the people in question are horrible or particularly annoying, just that they never, ever show any comprehension for how I feel.

Kay isn't the one that wants/needs to be forgiven as she and her family -may their souls find solace and be guided by Kalahira- were part of the group of innocent that got hurt.

Haha, way to come to my defence. I may have to do some begging and pleading at some point, but right now I'm just tired of being so pissed off...

Save yourself time, Kayana. Forgiveness isn't possible.

What you're looking for is criteria for retribution.

Forgiveness is always possible, if remorse is shown. However, if the mistake did break a law, then something has to happen to atone for that.

Miss Capice, if you're the one doing the forgiving, then the only one who can decide the criteria for the forgiveness is you. If you're the one asking for forgiveness, then the criteria will be set by the one whom you wronged.

The universe isn't perfect. People aren't perfect. They make mistakes, and if they wish to make up for them, then perhaps they do deserve forgiveness. Atonement is a big part of the punishment of lawbreakers.

Get it though your sick head, Sica, I am not playing your part in this. More importantly, you are a moral moron.

Don't you ever get sick of lashing out and wrecking 1. your own life 2. the lives of your children?

I don't want to feel like this forever.

Consider this: if I said forgiveness is possible, I'd be expecting someone to forgive me. You think that's possible? Or right?

By constantly bringing up your own grievances and evading responsibility in the most disgusting manner I've ever heard of, you've kept that totally hypothetical.

Maybe they're tired of hating some unrepentant asshole, or there's someone who wants to be able to love you or look you in the eye without wanting to puke.

What if Securitariat is right and we could forgive just cause we wanted to?

Have you considered the possibility that this is a bad idea because you're never going to be satisfied with life unless you constantly have something to be pissed off at? Because from our admittedly limited extranet acquaintance, perpetual indignation appears to be your raison d'etre, so to speak.

EDIT: That's not necessarily a bad thing, it's good to have motivation and drive and etc.

EDIT TO THE EDIT: Okay yeah it's a bad thing, but I'm not really qualified to pass moral judgment, so don't feel condemned.

False dichotomy. Why should you automatically expect people to forgive you?

Attempt to change and ask for forgiveness, to the first. Probably, to the second.

I always assumed that miss Pesh was just both blessed and cursed with the urge to chance things fast that promising youth often have.

...Flattery attempt from a slaver??? I can be indignant about that instead.