Please cheer me up

I need something, anything to cheer me up and fast. I got a huge bomb of depression and sad dropped on me, like a concentrated tear gas spray that was made out of tears of infants.

A vorcha walks in to a bar.
Budum chish.

Go to a local pet shelter. Volunteer there. Play with the moxies.

Two batarians are out on recon, one accidentally shoots the other. He radios back to base and says "Hey, I think my partner is dead. What should I do?" The Operator responds, "Whell, first thing to do is make sure he's dead." The batarian grunts and then several shots are heard before he comes back to the radio," Now what?"

Greetings!

If the other desires to rise cheerfully, this one suggests the practice of recreational toxins. This one has read of the practice, and finds that a general sense of "getting high" is frequently associated with the activity, as is a sense of cheer and contentment. This one knows of several religious traditions that make use of toxins, and wonders if perhaps the other might post its observations as it rises, to hopefully grant this one insight?

two vorcha are eating clown.

one say to other.

"do this taste funny to you?"

You're alive. Our civilizations still exist. We're not at war with an army of near invincible godsquids...

I'd find those reasons to smile, don't you?

Jelly's got the right idea.

My wife who had been out of contact for over a year because she got shipwrecked wants a divorce.

Why that? She's pregnant on third month.

Go out and get tanked with your mates.

Something seems off there, how long does human gestation last?

Sorry to hear that. This can't be easy to deal with.

I'd say the C-Sec officer has the right idea.

@ FaceplateBlues: Bout 9 months.

You could go for a run! Exercise always helps me when I'm feeling down.

Yeah, that sucks for you can't deny. But hey, now you're free of a persoon who cheated on you and have an adopted daughter, who, judging from your avatar, is still alive.

Find what good you can. Everything else, get a good bottle of Metaxa.

Then that

OHHHHHH.

Sorry mate.

Well that does blow mate! Maybe consider getting wasted and post embarrassing things on whatever social networking site she's on in revenge?

Or you're a Hierarchy person right? Maybe just go out to a clawball game. Won't help long term but it might get your mind off it for a bit.

Well then...

Sucks to be you.

Anyway, get your self good and drunk.

That will solve your not being cheerful problem.

Juhani's Wife wants a Divorce? Najhil is very sorry. :(

...did she make an oath to you?

I can help you out.