UGH! Second Time This Week!

My roommate likes her boyfriend too much. How do I know? Because I keep getting stuck in the hallway while she spends "quality time" with him!

CDN, revenge plots. Now.

Play loud music in the middle of the night.

Unfitting, unromantic music. Specifically, Turian throat-singing.

That'll kill the mood 10 out of 10 times.

You could try finding a way to keep them out of your place. Get a pet that'll stare at them. Or a large, slightly creepy photo of a parent that'll watch disapprovingly. Maybe you can make it one of those holo-photos that sort of change when you look at them from different angles. Make the eyes follow you across the room.

Alternatively, keep a stereo with unsexy songs loaded into it and activate it via omni tool next time you're locked out. Nothing like the Moxie's theme song to kill the mood.

Subsonic emitters that instil a sense of disgust or revulsion. You can find the omni-tool plugin schematics here for a quite reasonable rate.

Remote activated stink bomb under her mattress. Just make sure to get a breathing mask for yourself.

Holographic Thresher maw. I have a program I can send you if you want.

Guys, I'm in Hierarchy barracks, so nothing that will get me in trouble with my superiors please.

Hide female undergarments in his equipment locker.

Negligent discharge of your sidearm.

Through the fucking door.

poking holes in their condoms. That will teach them!

Hey, now. Do not disrespect Turian Throat Singing! That Music is great!

My old science teacher had a great story on this one. Same situation, really, but when it got really out of control he decided to have some fun with them.

So he found the spot on the floor the two ended upon, poured out a ring of lab ethonol around the spot, rigged up a little sparker... and when they were in that spot, he triggered the sparker, which set the ethonol off and created a ring of fire around the two. Needless to say, they found someplace else.

... that said, though, you might get into a lot of trouble for doing that.

One of the slave conditioning theories taught by Slaves4Us is Pavlovian conditioning. When your roommate just crossed the boundaries, use a subtle way to punish her. Play a music she doesn't like, sabotage slightly her meal. Nothing big, nothing noticeable. Oppositely, when she stays discreet, reward her. A sweet, a nice word, a favor.
Done right, you can have an acceptable behavior before two months.

get friend to pretend to be your boyfriend.

make her stay out of room and fake having very loud "quality time" together as much as possible.

or you know, even better. get an actual partner AND OUTDO THEM! Have a good ol' fuckoff.

Get others from your barracks to stand behind the door and listen, with snacks if possible. When a lull in the noises come, knock on the door and ask what's the matter.

Get me their Commanding Officer's name and their names.

--sample security cams for voice files
--CO's voice sample variant 1 <<roommate's name> report <loud>ON THE DOUBLE</loud>>
CO's voice sample variant 2 <<partner's name> <loud>ATTEN-SHUN</loud>>
/execute

Oh, and your omnitool address so I can send you this. 3:}

Get massive speakers. Place them in your bedroom. Be able to access them by omni-tool.


Turn them up to max volume. And when they're in the middle of doing whatever it is that annoys you... play the sound in my sig.

if any of the instructors or officers in your barracks served in the reaper war, then they'll probably kick your ass for a stunt like that.

Biotics are your friend - try levitating something of hers to somewhere she can't reach (or see) and suggest that her boyfriend took it when she asks where it is. Do this after every time you're locked out.

It's worked for me in the past.