Hey, got some good news for you folks!

Well, for you folks who like hover racing in general, and the Gran Twan 1000 Extreme All-Terrain Hovercraft Race in specific. Turns out the race is back on! Thank Shrell, too, considering the last one had to be cancelled because of all that Reaper business. Guess the possible end of the universe trumps the best race experience in the universe, but, eh, whatever. Doesn't matter now - it's back on! And it's going to be on Tuchunka! Guess they're trying to tone down on the "EXTREME" portion of it.

That isn't a dig against you krogan, by the way; I know how thin-skinned you are. But considering the last race was held on a volcanic planet with an atmosphere of pure methane, and the previous one was held on goddamned Venus, Tuchunka - with all its native majesty, big rocks, krogan with guns and animal life that can eat a steel can - seems a bit tame in comparison.

It's gonna be held in a month, somewhere in Urdnot territory. 1000 kilometres of harsh hovercraft racing over three days, with three checkpoints and over - get this - three hundred participants. Hell, if I can get a decent environment-sealed hovercraft, I may enter it myself. Life's too short, you know? Got the time off coming.

So, yeah! Good times! Check it out on the Gran Twan 1000 extranet site! Should be the first response on GalaxySearch, so find the link yerself!

I feel like thresher maws bursting out of the ground to eat the competitors might be sufficiently extreme.

Sweet. Sounds fun. Obviously I'm not gonna be anywhere near there but I'll definitely be watching the vid streams. 300 racers though. Gonna be a pain to tell who's who.

The names of the racers are out, in case you were wondering.

I've got eight hundred credits on Veranex Vadarat carrying the competition.

Veranex? That turian? Hah, you're wasting your credits, pal. He's got no reflexes, drives his ship like it's a tank. I don't think his hovercraft'll last three days.

Sweet, I had heard Maxan Raius was coming out of retirement for this one, but I hadn't confirmed it til now.

Already got 500 on him to win.

It would definetly make things more interesting than just people racing around in a circle for seven hours. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if the krogan added some snipers to the mix. Its Tuchanka, anything less would be falling below expectations. Especially for the krogan.

Have you seen the official race app? I think it was five credits for the race before the war. You pull it up and it gives access to the cameras mounted on each hovercraft on-demand, and more importantly there are a few overlay options that label the racers at a distance, show their places, that kind of thing. A bit extravagant but it beats waiting for them to switch to a view where you can see what's going on during the free feed.

Interesting and ... dangerous. Have all of these ... vehicles been certified as meeting council ... safety regulations? I do not ... fancy watching a massacre due to poorly manufactured ... equipment.

Krogan vehicles tend to be tougher than seven inch boilerplate on a dreadnaught. If the drivers are smart they'll no doubt make sure their cars can handle the stress. It would be a deaths entence otherwise.

Also, you may want to invest in some better speech to text technology. A lot of Volus use it so the don't end up with pauses in between their posts.

Ok now that sounds totally worth it. Going to buy it now.

Hmmm...Oh, they raised the price to 20 credits. Guess they're trying to cash in on the Danger! aspect. Still buying it though, if someone gets eaten by a thresher maw I damn well wanna be able to see it in first person.

Neat, it gives stats on all the racers and little clips of their most famous moments.

Edit: HAH! Saada Colfax's only famous moment is crashing, doing three flips in the air, and then running around until they douse his flaming suit. I think we found our underdog.

Yeah, but no krogan machine's built for speed. I don't think they even have hovercraft.

... Man, this is tempting. After I get paid for this run to Shanshan... hey, anybody got a hovercraft they want to sell? I'm looking for something in the 10,000 credit range, maybe a bit higher, but I plan on retrofitting it myself. Doesn't have to be perfect. Anyone?

It is good to know that the vehicles are properly ... equipped.

I unfortunately can't afford a new ... speech to text device. Payments from my company have been ... not forthcoming since the end of the ... war, and my savings are all but ... depleted. It is all right though, I have grown ... accustomed to the ellipses.

Oh look. Here I am, throwing my credits around on the floor, rolling around in them, taping them to the walls as insulation, burning them to help cook my food, sleeping on a bed of them. Whatever shall I do with all this dosh???

I know, I could sponsor some daring young up-and-comer in yon hovercraft races! Some valiant young whippersnapper, braving the odds to bring the wonderful products of H&M to billions of viewers at home. But where oh where could I ever find such a man? If it even had to be a man. I'm sure another species would work. Like, say Salarians. They live fast and die young! Perfect racer material.

In all seriousness, check your PMs Star runner.

You are the quaintest racist I know.

Have a hug.

They like to break stuff with their hands. Boarding parties in combat are popular. Moron.

Hey, hey, hey, that's a lot of harsh words for someone who's just stating a damn fact. Seriously, krogan machines got a cloacaton of armor on 'em - look at their tunkas, am I right? Big, murderous tanks, wheels the size of aircars, taking hits from mortar fire every damn second? Yeah, please. Krogan vehicles are slow, fucker. And when was the last time you ever heard 'krogan' and 'hovercraft' in the same sentence? This ain't racism, this is plain old fact!

See above.

Eh. That hovercraft doesn't look like it could hit faster than 100 kph. That's, like, skipping a stone across a lake.

Also, wow, when'd Tuchunka get so green?

It's not on Tuchanka at the moment, and if you pan over to the left, you might hazard out it doesn't need to go terribly fast, what with 88 Gigawatts of armor-be-gone and the ability to handle 11G+ while suited and shielded.