Aphin reviews the last Pathfinder session with the group.

<&Aphin> So, let me review this time.
<&Aphin> You've killed a trio of scorpion monsters with VERY LITTLE EFFORT, despite their challenge rating;
* Azzab flaps down. "Something has spooked our riders in the night."
<Cyd> And with that Aphin throws away yet another encounter... Go Team Us!
<&Aphin> You've plundered the tomb of Punshackun and dominated his rat thing...
<&Qadir> AND THEN WE HID FROM GROUP #3
<&Aphin> AND you've chased away eight tobovin raiders - all of them suspicious of magic - with a single spell.
<&Qadir> GO TEAM PREDICTABLE
<Jaffar> The first time was good fortune with rolling, the second two were caster resourcefulness.
<&Aphin> SUDDENLY AN ELDER DRAGON APPEARS
<&Aphin> "YOU'RE FUCKED NOW, YOU BASTARDS"


Our team hasn't lost its touch :3

Busty arachnids aw yeah giiiiirl

Every time the group manages to foil Aphin's carefully crafted set ups, an angel gets its wings.

"On the next Pathfinder, Moonstone convinces the Sultan to eat himself"

I fucking hate you bastards.

You say that but we know you love us. :D

And now, time for some more

ADVENTURES IN PATHFINDER starring:

Harrad_01 as AZZAB AL-AZIZ, shadrae storyteller and shocking greaseball extraordinaire

SteelUnifier as SAFIYA, infamous “desert tour guide” and resident elven ball of thieving hatred

Diplomatic Immunity as CYD, quasi-famous archaeologist who totally wears a bitchin’ hat while questing for WEALTH and NOTORIETY

Zoftan as JAFFAR AS-SAADIQ ULLAH, cheerful and virile man of SCIENCE

Clod as ISHA, lovable monkey sidekick and eternal sidekick

The_Sarcastic_Salarian as QADIR AL-FAROOQ, insect-mawed dwarf of ANCIENT HERO LINEAGE (which has since been diluted with lots of stupid dwarven nobility)

And Aphin as THY DUNGEONMASTER, who has had to equip all enemies with chalk pouches to stop us from greasing their weapons.

Our story begins one midmorining after leaving the rich city-state of Kharinthia, which has recently been attacked by minions of an ancient and unspeakable power. Having been a tremendous asset in driving Kharinthia’s foes from its palace gates, our heroes then discovered an ancient tomb buried under the palace belonging to the Ancient Despot Aphunatep (no relation to Aphin Protretho, our resident GM), which foretells of his return this year through the machinations of his many Demon Wives.

Kharinthia’s ruler, the Wise, Modest and Most Svelte Djinn Bhajra, has ordered our heroes to look into this matter and prevent a fate most foul from falling upon his beloved city (and perhaps to stock his majestic palace with another roomful of gold), most immediately by traveling to the nearby city of Jhuleed and discovering more information on Aphunatep and his wives.

We join our heroes on the third day of their travel through the hot, murderous dunes of the Al-Deahd Desert Wastes, just after having destroyed a trio of scorpion monsters, plundering the Tomb of Punshackun, dominating his rat guardian with judicious use of magical intimidation and bureaucracy, and chasing away a troupe of raiders (by accidentally convincing them we were ghosts). It’s a murderous day outside, however, and the constant fortitude rolls are finally catching up with our resident grease-spewing shadrae.


[13:02] <Aphin> In any case, Azzab, if you fail two more rolls, you start taking con damage.
[13:02] <Azzab> Oh lord.
[13:02] <Aphin> And with the heat today, you guys may be making more rolls.
[13:02] <Jaffar> "Good Azzab, you should mention if you're not feeling well out here! I shall give you an amazing alchemical protection next time."
[13:02] <Aphin> With that said, Safiya, still sniffing the wind, points out into the desert.
[13:02] <Azzab> Aphin is a cruel god.
[13:02] * Azzab nods weakly. "Thank you, my potion-wielding friend."

At this rate, the hellish wastes may kill us faster before the monsters can. But what’s this?

[13:03] <Safiya> "Six days more travel to Jhuleed. One day until an oasis."
[13:03] <Safiya> "And.... there is... something out there. Gnoll-stink. We must be cautious."

An Oasis. With gnolls.

[13:05] * Qadir hikes up his scarf at the mention of gnolls, making a face of disgust.
[13:05] <Jaffar> "Gnolls are dangerous, and we should steer clear of them. Sometimes they trade with desert settlements, but they are more likely to swoop in and pillage, like the hyenas they resemble."
[13:05] <Azzab> "That is true, my… ugh… this heat. My friend. Like the tales of Urth…aaah… whatever."
[13:06] <Safiya> "I can speak with them, but if we encounter them, we may have to barter for our lives."
[13:06] * Safiya stares at Isha.
[13:06] <Isha> "NO."
[13:06] <Isha> " >:[ "

Isha is basically the Short Round to Cyd’s Indiana Jones, the difference between the two interpretations being that the team knows how grating that can be. As a result, we have discussed bartering his slavery for our lives at least twice already.

[13:07] * Isha has taken to braiding the hair on his camel out of boredom. She's so pretty now.

See?

[13:06] <Qadir> Qadir hisses at that notion. Not bartering. No. Bad.
[13:06] <Jaffar> "Let us get moving, before they home in on our scents."
[13:07] <Safiya> "As you wish. I warn you, if there is gnoll-stink, they may be at the oasis in our path. Should we go around and risk death in the desert, or should we go through and risk death by gnoll?"

So, either take the long route and take the extra fortitude damage from trying to trek our way through the wastes, or go to the oasis, which promises water, a break, and a likely monster encounter for us to perform our Wacky Antics™ on. Which way should we go?



Our heroes are now a mile outside the oasis, where we can just barely see a group of gnolls partying it up.

[13:13] <Jaffar> "Whoof! It's hotter than the pendulous balls of the ifrit king out here."
[13:13] <Jaffar> I...don't know if the ifrit king is an actual thing.
[13:14] <Jaffar> It may just be heat exhaustion.
[13:14] <Azzab> "My tall-tale-speaking friend, truly you know the ifrit king is secretly a woman, dressed as a man!"
[13:15] <Jaffar> "I was not at all aware of that. Perhaps the heat is getting to me."
[13:15] <Azzab> "It is getting to all of us."

Somewhere, the Ifrit King is guiltily looking at a bra.

[13:15] <Aphin> They say a man can go mad in these deserts, even without the blightstorm.
[13:15] <Aphin> You're beginning to see why.
[13:15] <Aphin> But, as you think this, Safiya brings everyone to a stop.
[13:15] <Safiya> "The oasis. It is one mile's journey from here. There. Look."
[13:16] <Aphin> Just a wavering ribbon of water, with green shoots around it... and... is that movement?
[13:16] <Aphin> You can't tell.
[13:17] <Aphin> It looks so. Damn. Inviting.
[13:17] <Isha> "I think someone beat us to the water.
[13:17] <Azzab> "Have they drunk it all?"
[13:18] <Jaffar> "Surely there's some left for us."
[13:18] <Qadir> A bit of a /tak tak tak/ is coming from inside the folds of Qadir's scarf, like a pair of mandibles tapping themselves in anticipation.

A note: When playing in the world of Adurn, character creation includes a test for mutation brought about by the forces of Chaos infecting the setting. Qadir has been affected by it, and as a result sports an insectlike pair of mandibles instead of a mouth.

He doesn’t talk much.

[13:18] <Aphin> All you know is there's water - probably - and people around it - maybe.
[13:18] <Aphin> Damn this desert.
[13:19] <Isha> "Lemme go check it out."
[13:19] <Isha> Isha's gonna go scouting.
[13:19] <Isha> "Yeah. If you hear me scream bloody murder, that's your cue."

…To nod and turn the opposite direction.

[13:19] <Aphin> Isha, give me a stealth check.

To Isha’s credit, he has excellent rogue stats and has a Stealth bonus of 17. Less to his credit…

[13:19] <Isha> #roll 1d20+17
[13:19] <RPGServ> <Roll for Isha [1d20+17]: 19>

At least it’s not a natty one.

[13:20:38] <Aphin> Well, you manage to crawl out halfway to the oasis when you discover the following things:
[13:20:49] <Aphin> One, there's plenty of water there. You know this by the six camels around it.
[13:21:01] <Aphin> Two, you know there are people there. You know this by the six gnolls who are tending to the six camels.
[13:21:06] <Isha> !!!
[13:21:26] <Aphin> Three, you know that it's hard to crawl in the day. Because one of the gnolls turns his head just as you hide behind a rock, and he's starting towards you with curiosity in his eyes.

Now, he’s still half a mile away, but gnoll eyes are very, very, good. Thankfully, there is a pillar of sandstone nearby, and Isha passes both Acrobatics and Stealth checks with flying colors.

[13:24:22] <Aphin> The gnoll sneaks up on the rock you were hiding behind, raises his spearhammer, jumps around it...
[13:24:27] <Aphin> "UUUUR UUR URR - uurr?"
[13:24:37] <Aphin> Dumb, dumb gnoll.
[13:25:23] <Aphin> Then, when he can't find you, kicks the rock with frustration and returns back to the oasis.

A few passed sneaking rolls later…

[13:27:51] <Aphin> Isha, you manage to sneak close enough to hear what they're saying - and smell what they're cooking.
[13:28:00] <Aphin> ... Human flesh shouldn't smell that appetizing.
[13:28:39] <Aphin> From what you can gather, these gnolls aren't going anywhere for a while - they just took out a caravan on the way from Jhuleed, and now they're going to sit around and live it up in this oasis until they need to move on again
[13:28:44] <Aphin> Lazy creatures, the gnolls.

So Isha comes back to report the grim news.

[13:32:12] <Isha> "Those're gnolls. They just sacked Jhuleed. Dunno how bad things are."
[13:32:23] <Aphin> ... I never said they sacked Jhuleed.
[13:32:53] <Cyd> "They did what!"
[13:32:54] <Aphin> Yeaaaah.

Isha is twelve.

[13:33:10] <Azzab> "There must be an army of them!"
[13:33:19] <Isha> "Well, six of them."
[13:33:21] <Isha> YEAH pretty much.
[13:33:22] <Jaffar> "How could we stand against an army of gnolls--oh."
[13:33:44] <Azzab> "Six?"
[13:33:56] <Jaffar> "Six might be a little more doable."
[13:34:01] <Cyd> "Gnolls, they keep on surprising."
[13:34:03] <Azzab> "Quickly, my fuzzy friend, can you count to six for us?"
[13:34:33] <Isha> "Yeah, sure."

Thankfully, he isn’t completely dim.

[13:34:34] <Isha> He steps up to Azzab. And kicks him right in the shins. "ONE."
[13:34:35] <Isha> Kick. "TWO."
[13:34:39] * Azzab flies up after two.
[13:34:41] <Azzab> :|
[13:34:42] <Isha> "HEY"
[13:34:49] <Isha> "I WASN'T DONE COUNTING TO SIX"
[13:35:01] <Aphin> XD
[13:35:12] * Qadir raises his eyebrows, and quickly hands Isha a sheet of paper with six tally marks on it.
[13:35:05] <Azzab> "My ground-based friend, THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT."
[13:35:08] <Aphin> Safiya just rolls her eyes.

At this point, Qadir decides enough is enough.

[13:36:01] * Qadir gets off his camel, hands the reins to Safiya, and starts walking up to the 8camp.
[13:36:04] * Jaffar quickly hops off the camel and downs a mutagen.
[13:36:07] <Qadir> because FUCK SUBTLETY
[13:36:12] <Aphin> :D
[13:36:12] <Qadir> these are GNOLLS

Note that Qadir is a dwarf (if one with considerable birth defects), and as such he has racial hatred against goblinoids and orcs. As such, the last time Qadir met a gnoll, it went sort of like this.



What we’re saying here is that racism is good.

Wait, no, that’s not it at all.

[13:36:35] <Aphin> Alright, so you and Jaffar start heading down to go and massacre these gnolls. :D
[13:36:48] * Azzab huuuhs. Well.
[13:36:56] * Cyd raises his eyebrow...
[13:36:58] * Azzab flies up higher, and follows after.
[13:37:17] * Azzab really just wants that oasis.
[13:37:19] * Cyd follows too.
[13:37:18] * Jaffar gallops down the dune, arms swinging.

Next note: Jaffar is a Pathfinder Alchemist. This means that he can craft his own potions; however, he has the ability to down a draught that transforms him into a giant, hulking berserker.

The troupe was very surprised to see this happen the first several times, but the fact that he has so far retained hils jovial overtones has somewhat mitigated the shock.

[13:37:46] <Aphin> As you guys walk up to the camp, the gnolls look up fromt their, well, "meal" and look at you.
[13:37:58] <Aphin> "URR URR URR," they cry, "STAY AWAY, OR WE WILL FEAST ON YOU AS WELL!"
[13:38:27] <Isha> "By the way, that's not pork!"
[13:38:10] <Aphin> They raise their spearhammers over their heads and look at you with terrifying eyes.

At this point, Qadir figures it’s time to announce his less-than-jovial intentions towards the gnolls.

[13:38:23] * Qadir holds his axe with one hand, pulls down his scarf, and just plain /hisses/ at the gnolls.
[13:38:35] <Aphin> ... roll intimidating, Qadir.
[13:38:41] <Qadir> autofail
[13:38:46] <Aphin> :(
[13:38:53] <Aphin> Oh, right. Mutant.

Qadir is a dwarf. He has a mutation that kills diplomacy rolls. He has a Charisma stat of 7.

[13:39:24] <Qadir> ...

He also has just enough of a class bonus to have an Intimidate of +2.

[13:39:50] <Qadir> #roll 1d20+2
[13:39:51] <RPGServ> <Roll for Qadir [1d20+2]: 22>
[13:39:51] *RPGServ* <Roll [1d20+2]: 22>
[13:39:59] <Aphin> !!!!!
[13:39:54] <Qadir> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
[13:40:00] <Azzab> :O
[13:40:01] <Aphin> Holy. Shit.
[13:40:03] <Jaffar> Oh my god.
[13:40:04] <Aphin> Uh
[13:40:05] <Isha> SWEET
[13:40:09] <Aphin> ... yeah, you know what?
[13:40:10] <Qadir> XD
[13:40:14] <Aphin> These gnolls is hell of intimidated.
[13:40:17] <Aphin> -2 on all their rolls.
[13:40:26] <Aphin> Because that's fucking awesome.

Time for another lesson in Wacky Antics From Aphin’s Pathfinder Group. When we roll for Initiative…

[13:41:02] <RPGServ> <Roll for Aphin [1d20-3]: 1>
[13:41:07] <Aphin> Oh for fuck's. Sake. [/b]
[13:41:52] <Aphin> The gnolls look at Qadir with FEAR IN THEIR DOGGY EYES and suddenly release the fearstink.

Cyd goes first, casting Rage on Jaffar – about the equivalent of poking a bull with Compensation issues and saying “he did it.” Then, it’s Jaffar’s turn.

[13:43:53] <Aphin> Jaffar, you are now RAGED
[13:44:07] <Jaffar> GRRRR
[13:44:20] <Aphin> Basically, I think that's +2 to con and str and - 2 to ac.
[13:44:23] <Jaffar> Yes.
[13:44:52] <Jaffar> Okay if I charge into the middle of that group it'll make it impossible for Azzab to lightning them

Remember this.

[13:45:08] <Jaffar> So instead I'm going to bull rush one of them in the front and try to throw him in the lake!
[13:45:33] <Aphin> ROLL FOR IT
[13:45:35] <Jaffar> #roll 1d20+16
[13:45:36] <RPGServ> <Roll for Jaffar [1d20+16]: 29>
[13:45:42] <Aphin> Uh, yeah, that hits.
[13:45:46] <Jaffar> Rage plus bull rush results in a crazy good modifier
[13:45:51] <Jaffar> Thanks Dippy :D

Dippy is best.

[13:47:18] <Jaffar> #roll 1d8+7
[13:47:18] <RPGServ> <Roll for Jaffar [1d8+7]: 9>
[13:47:25] <Jaffar> Nine damage.
[13:47:32] <Aphin> Now, roll against his CMD.
[13:47:38] <Aphin> So roll 1d20+CMB.
[13:47:53] <Aphin> (To see how far he flies)
[13:48:13] <Qadir> :D
[13:48:34] * Isha wanna see the gnoll fly off over the horizon and twinkle like in an anime
[13:48:47] <Aphin> Adurn pretty much IS a cartoon now.

Can you believe this is a grimdark post-apocalyptic world? Yeah, this is what crazy dicerolls will net you.

[13:49:39] <Jaffar> #roll 1d20+12
[13:49:40] <RPGServ> <Roll for Jaffar [1d20+12]: 20>
[13:49:44] <Aphin> BOOOM
[13:49:50] <Aphin> Yeah, that gets through.
[13:50:01] <Aphin> The gnoll takes it on the fucking chin and goes FLYING INTO THE OASIS.
[13:50:28] <Aphin> He'll be out of the fight for a few rounds until he can swim back to sh-
[13:50:31] <Aphin> ... he doesn't have swim.
[13:50:44] <Aphin> And he's wearing armor.
[13:50:45] <Aphin> ...
[13:50:47] <Aphin> WELP.

Why do you need Swim in the freaking desert? Because JAFFAR, that’s why.

[13:51:21] <Aphin> Alright, next up is Isha!
[13:52:20] <Isha> Okay! Isha's going to wind up with one of his fancy new bolas and fling it at the closest gnoll! "HEY, STINKY"

...Who proceeds to wrap a gnoll with a bola.

[13:54:42] <Aphin> Roll damage!
[13:54:55] <Aphin> While I roll acrobathahahaa no, he ain't gonna pass that.
[13:55:00] <Isha> #roll 1d4+5
[13:55:00] <RPGServ> <Roll for Isha [1d4+5]: 9>
[13:55:05] <Isha> 9 nonlethal.
[13:55:08] <Aphin> #roll 1d20+3
[13:55:08] <RPGServ> <Roll for Aphin [1d20+3]: 8>
[13:55:09] <Aphin> HAH, NOPE
[13:55:12] <Isha> "HAVE A NICE TRIP"
[13:55:32] <Aphin> Azzab! Your turn!

Remember how everyone was going “don’t go running into the crowd?”

[13:55:43] * Azzab flies to best line up as many gnolls as possible.
[13:55:52] <Aphin> You can get...
[13:55:58] <Aphin> #roll 1d4+1
[13:55:59] <RPGServ> <Roll for Aphin [1d4+1]: 5>
[13:56:01] <Azzab> :D
[13:56:06] <Aphin> ... Holy jeebus.
[13:56:11] <Azzab> ALL OF THEM except for the one drowning right now.
[13:56:16] <Aphin> Well, they ARE in kind of a line.
[13:56:19] <Azzab> #roll 7d6
[13:56:19] <RPGServ> <Roll for Azzab [7d6]: 23>
[13:56:36] <Qadir> ...
[13:56:22] <Isha> Assuming he's not HOLY SHIT

THAT’S why.

[13:57:53] <Jaffar> just a bunch of gnolls shaking and jerking with sparks going everywhere

Always geek the mage first. Always.

[13:58:28] <Aphin> URURURURURURUURURUUURURUR
[13:58:38] <Aphin> QADIR, YOUR TURN
[13:59:10] * Qadir does a double-take at the roasting gnolls, then just races up to the one Isha tripped and WAILS on it.
[13:59:29] <Aphin> +6 BECAUSE IT'S PRONE, QADIR
[13:59:35] <Qadir> #roll 1d20+20
[13:59:36] <RPGServ> <Roll for Qadir [1d20+20]: 23>
[13:59:36] *RPGServ* <Roll [1d20+20]: 23>
[13:59:39] <Qadir> HAHAHAHAHAH
[13:59:40] <Aphin> o_o

He rolled a 3 and still passed, thus making sort work of that gnoll.

[14:01:03] <Aphin> NOW IT'S THEIR TURN.
[14:01:06] <Qadir> YAY
[14:01:07] <Aphin> The first one is...
[14:01:16] <Aphin> Going to try and swim out of the oasis.
[14:01:19] <Jaffar> :D
[14:01:22] <Aphin> #roll 1d20-6
[14:01:22] <RPGServ> <Roll for Aphin [1d20-6]: 8>
[14:01:24] <Cyd> hahaha
[14:01:25] <Aphin> Nooooope.
[14:01:30] <Aphin> He takes...
[14:01:36] <Aphin> #roll 1d8+5
[14:01:37] <RPGServ> <Roll for Aphin [1d8+5]: 11>
[14:01:43] <Aphin> 11 drowning damage.

Fucking Jaffar.

The third one attacks, sticking Qadir like a pig and dealing 14 damage!

[14:02:38] * Qadir lets out a high-pitched shriek.
[14:02:41] <Aphin> URRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
[14:02:42] <Azzab> I'd be too.
[14:03:31] <Aphin> The fourth one, however, sees there's a fucking MAGE ON THE FIELD,
[14:03:34] <Qadir> :D

Geek the mage.

[14:03:36] <Aphin> and REARS BACK AND THROWS HIS SPEARHAMMER
[14:03:43] <Aphin> #roll 1d20+12
[14:03:43] <RPGServ> <Roll for Aphin [1d20+12]: 28>
[14:03:46] <Azzab> D:
[14:03:47] <Aphin> Oh, shit.
[14:03:49] <Azzab> Yeah that hits.
[14:03:56] <Aphin> #roll 1d8+7
[14:03:56] <RPGServ> <Roll for Aphin [1d8+7]: 9>
[14:04:09] <Aphin> This spearhammer just FLIES THROUGH THE AIR and hits you in the gut, Azzab.
[14:05:25] <Aphin> And the fifth one is also going to rear back and THROW A SPEARHAMMER AT THE MAGE

Geek the mage.

[14:05:45] <Aphin> #roll 1d20+12
[14:05:45] <RPGServ> <Roll for Aphin [1d20+12]: 28>
[14:05:50] <Aphin> Oh fuck, that hits.
[14:05:56] <Aphin> #roll 1d8+7
[14:05:56] <RPGServ> <Roll for Aphin [1d8+7]: 9>
[14:06:02] <Aphin> Another spearhammer hits you, Azzab!

Azzab, being a squishy shadrae, is hurting badly at this point. Unfortunately for the gnolls, our resident archaeologist is a Jack of all Trades and thus plays healer for a turn, effectively nullifying that second attack.

Back to Jaffar.

[14:10:11] <Jaffar> It's power attack time!
[14:10:19] <Jaffar> Full power attack, at that.
[14:10:46] <Jaffar> Let's say the one that just threw a spear at Azzab.
[14:10:47] <Aphin> GO FOR IT

Wham bang pow, he slams into that one with two out of three attacks. Just as he gets his falchion out to do massive damage, he gets shredded to bits.

[14:13:55] <Aphin> ISHA, YOUR TURN
[14:14:39] <Isha> Going for another trip for the next closest gnoll!
[14:15:12] <Isha> #roll 1d20+11
[14:15:12] <RPGServ> <Roll for Isha [1d20+11]: 31>
[14:15:15] <Isha> HOLY
[14:15:16] <Aphin> O_O

He crits. He confirms.

[14:16:13] <Isha> #roll 1d4+5
[14:16:14] <RPGServ> <Roll for Isha [1d4+5]: 7>
[14:16:15] <Aphin> Nope.
[14:16:18] <Isha> 14 nonlethal!
[14:16:20] <Aphin> I'm not even gonna roll acrobatics.
[14:16:26] <Aphin> Jesus.
[14:16:37] <Aphin> He just knocked back a healing potion, and you negated it.
[14:16:52] <Isha> "BEEN STANDING LONG, MISTER"

And now he’s prone. Azzab fries the two next to Qadir within an inch of their lives. Qadir dispatches one of them. Safiya summons a giant scorpion and lacerates one of his remaining gnolls.

There are two gnolls left.

[14:32:08] <Aphin> THERE'S ONE IN THE WATER
[14:32:10] <Aphin> IT'S DROWNING
[14:32:19] <Aphin> OOP, IT'S DEAD, BECAUSE IT'S GOT A -6 TO SWIMMING
[14:32:21] <Aphin> WEEP FOR IT
[14:32:29] <Aphin> That brings it to the last one.
[14:32:30] <Aphin> ...
[14:32:46] <Aphin> It screams the gnoll version of "fuck this" and runs for one of the camels in the oasis.
[14:32:58] <Azzab> Tee hee, like it's going to get away.
[14:33:00] <Azzab> YO.
[14:33:04] <Aphin> Roll it, man.
[14:33:05] <Azzab> ZZZZZZAP.
[14:33:09] <Azzab> #roll 7d6
[14:33:09] <RPGServ> <Roll for Azzab [7d6]: 28>
[14:33:18] <Aphin> It doesn't even have a chance.
[14:33:26] <Aphin> You hit it with LIGHTNING FROM THE SKY
[14:33:29] <Aphin> and it's fucking. Dead.
[14:33:31] <Aphin> Just... crispy.
[14:33:41] <Aphin> YOU EACH GET...
[14:33:46] <Aphin> 1,600 XP.

And so ends the lives of half a dozen unfortunate gnolls. But what about their gear? What about the oasis? And why does Aphin seem even more enraged by our session than usual? Find out in the next segment of PATHFINDER.

All I can say is: Tarrasque.

TARRASQUE.

It's every bit as magical as I expected.

[14:36:24] <Isha> LOOT
[14:36:25] <Isha> LOOOOOT

Yes indeed. Ignoring the plaintive cries of our pet monkey, what about the loot?

[14:36:31] <Jaffar> "You know, my friends..."
[14:36:36] * Jaffar studies the camels thoughtfully.
[14:36:58] <Jaffar> "If they just came from Jhuleed, then perhaps this is the property of someone in that fair city. We could gain useful allies by returning it to its rightful owners."

Never mind that – what about the loot?

[14:37:33] <Aphin> You find....two chests - locked
[14:37:38] <Aphin> A fuckton of white wine.
[14:37:56] <Aphin> Five spearhammers (1d8, range 30 feet, worth fuckall)
[14:38:02] <Aphin> Six suits of half-plate armor, masterwork
[14:38:11] <Aphin> 5 potions of cure moderate wounds

--Four, since Qadir snags one to heal himself—

[14:38:16] <Aphin> 6 potions of endure elements
[14:38:26] <Aphin> 6 falchions, masterwork
[14:39:01] <Aphin> ... and about...
[14:39:11] <Aphin> #roll 10d10
[14:39:11] <RPGServ> <Roll for Aphin [10d10]: 52>
[14:39:12] <Aphin> 52 gold.
[14:39:29] <Aphin> There's also "cured meat" in their saddlebags. Might want to avoid those.

Overall, a rather pithy selection. The weapons are a next to worthless, we have better armor than what’s there, and we can’t really carry most of the gear around because this is the desert and increasing our load is going to put even more stress on our fortitude saves. Basically the only stuff worth taking is the wine and whatever’s in the chest.

[14:40:19] <Isha> "Um. Those might belong to somebody."

Oh god no. No.

[14:40:30] <Isha> "Maybe we should leave them locked and take them with us."

Please no.

[14:40:33] <Qadir> ":|"
[14:40:49] <Isha> "What if one of them belongs to the guy we need to talk to! He'd get SO MAD."

Isha, no. Shut up.

[14:40:57] * Azzab paddles over. "Perhaps you are right, my generous friend."

Oh god, not you too.

[14:41:03] <Cyd> #roll 1d20+14
[14:41:03] <RPGServ> <Roll for Cyd [1d20+14]: 24>
[14:41:10] <Aphin> ... They're both locked AND trapped.
[14:41:16] <Aphin> Probably why the gnolls left 'em alone.

Oh good. Let’s just go ahead and unlock them now. Ignore the monkey, just stay on course.

[14:41:36] <Cyd> "They are trapped."
[14:41:37] <Jaffar> "We should at least look for proof of ownership inside. Perhaps the rightful owner has left his crest or symbol on the lid."

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL.

[14:41:55] <Cyd> Is there any symbols or other stuff on the chest?
[14:41:56] <Safiya> "Or we could just take it for ourselves. Sell what we don't need."

YES. Listen to the voice of reason.

[14:41:58] * Qadir jabs a thumb at Jaffar, and looks at the back of them for a nameplate or something.
[14:42:02] <Aphin> Not on the outside, no.
[14:42:13] <Aphin> They just look like normal wood and iron chests.
[14:42:30] <Cyd> Okay so let's disarm the traps first.
[14:42:32] <Safiya> "We might be chasing after a dead man."
[14:42:36] <Isha> "Hey Safiya?"
[14:42:42] <Isha> "Do you have to, like, try to be a jerk?"
[14:42:44] <Isha> "Or does it just come naturally?"

Are you shitting me.

[14:42:44] <Jaffar> "True, but if my things had been taken by gnolls, I would want someone to return them. It behooves us to check, at least."
[14:43:04] <Jaffar> "If the original owner is...well, if he's on that spit over the fire, then the point is moot!"
[14:43:12] <Safiya> "If my things were taken by gnolls, I would probably be dead. By the gnolls."
[14:43:25] <Isha> "Jaffar's right, let's check to make sure first."

None of this matters, however, unless Cyd or Isha decides to open the damn chest and see what’s in there in the first place. As a result, everyone else goes to chill out in their respective fashions – Qadir with a book in his pack labeled “Inheritance Law in Al-Deahd, Azzab taking a much-needed break in the pond, and Isha talking about Ways to Return the Equipment to Its Rightful Owner, as Safiya looks disgusted at them.

[14:44:04] * Azzab quickly dries under the OH GOD ALTHROS [the sun god] YOU ASS and heads over to the chests. "I am impressed you carried such a tome with you, my mandibled friend."
[14:44:49] * Qadir shrugs. It comes in handy, especially when it comes to people who piss off His Ultimate Slenderness.

Offending Bhajra is a good way to have all kinds of Bad Things happen to you, and Qadir has had to do it for a long time in Kharinthia. He is VERY HAPPY to be out in the desert wastes right now.

Let’s see how Cyd does with that trap.

[14:45:54] <Cyd> #roll 1d20+9
[14:45:54] <RPGServ> <Roll for Cyd [1d20+9]: 20>
[14:46:15] <Aphin> Who's standing near the chest?

Azzab is, now that he’s left Qadir to his reading.

[14:47:35] <Aphin> Cyd, I'm going to need a reflex check.

Ohhhhh shit.

[14:48:31] <Cyd> #roll 1d20+7
[14:48:32] <RPGServ> <Roll for Cyd [1d20+7]: 8>
[14:48:39] <Azzab> #roll 1d20+9
[14:48:40] <RPGServ> <Roll for Azzab [1d20+9]: 22>

Neither pass. Cyd rolled a 1.

[14:49:08] <Jaffar> the boulder from Raiders of the Lost Ark appears over the dunes
[14:49:57] <Aphin> The chest opens up, actually.
[14:50:06] <Aphin> For a second, you think you've cracked it.
[14:50:16] <Aphin> And then this GULF OF FIRE just RISES OUT OF THE CHEST.
[14:50:24] <Aphin> And Azzab and Cyd take...
[14:50:28] <Aphin> #roll 5d6
[14:50:28] <RPGServ> <Roll for Aphin [5d6]: 21>

For the record, between this and Azzab’s other injuries, this leaves him with precisely one HP.

[14:51:14] <Cyd> "FIRE FIRE!"
[14:51:16] * Qadir looks up from his book. Did another heat wave just roll through?
[14:51:18] * Cyd RUNS IN THE WATER\
[14:51:30] <Aphin> Cyd, you manage to get into the water before you're too badly burned.
[14:51:50] <Aphin> Meanwhile, Azzab, you breifly wonder how you're flying when your wings aren't flapping, and then BOOSH
[14:51:54] <Aphin> You're a-swimmin'.
[14:51:48] * Azzab is flailing and VERY DISPLEASED.
[14:52:11] * Cyd cast cure serious wounds on Azzad
[14:52:12] <Jaffar> "By the seven veils! You were nearly roasted!"
[14:52:40] <Azzab> "Ugh, I feel like a turkey at the sultan's palace.”
[14:52:33] * Qadir claps his book back together and stands up, looking back at the chest. He is reminded of the time a shaedrae got slammed with a Maximized Fireball in the middle of a castle library.

For those not in the know, this is a reference to the only PC casualty in our previous Pathfinder game, when Mligwel the Dashing Shadrae Rogue was blasted by a Maximized Fireball that bypassed Uncanny Dodge and fricasseed him on the spot, as he only had 46 maximum HP at the time.

In any case, holy shit, that was close. But we should know what’s in the chest now, right?

[14:52:16] <Aphin> The chest is miraculously intact. And inside of the top of the lid is a steel marker.

[14:53:28] <Aphin> In any case, the Steel Marker - if anyone looks at it - basically shows this chest as belonging to the House of Sharah, a merchant family in Jhuleed.
[14:53:49] <Aphin> ... this, of course, does not distract you from the pile of coins in the damn chest.
[14:54:01] <Aphin> All of them gold.
[14:54:17] * Qadir 's eyes bug out slightly.
[14:54:19] <Aphin> Dear god. There has to be 1000 gold in there.
[14:54:34] <Aphin> - that is, if it's ALL gold. You think there might be a platinum piece or two in there.

Holy shit.

[14:54:51] <Cyd> so that's one chest or both chests?
[14:54:56] <Aphin> Just the one.
[14:55:09] <Aphin> The other one is unopened.

Holy SHIT.

[14:55:20] * Azzab comes crawling back to the opened chest, and all those drooling faces.
[14:55:28] <Cyd> "Guys do we take the gold or do we return it."

This is the point at which the rest of the party is supposed to look at him like he’s on huff or something. Instead…

[14:55:38] <Jaffar> "Friends, if they are this wealthy, imagine what they will give us for returning their shipment."
[14:55:44] <Safiya> "Nothing."

Listen to this woman. She speaks sense.

[14:55:50] * Qadir scribbles down the contents inside.
[14:55:57] <Safiya> "These are merchant families, why would they give us more than we have returned?"
[14:56:07] <Isha> "Maybe because they're decent people?"
[14:56:22] * Qadir gives Isha a look of mild disbelief.
[14:56:30] <Isha> ISHA IS TWELVE

It is at this point that Azzab tells Isha the tale of Madara, the Generous Merchant.

[14:56:39] * Azzab goes silent.
[14:56:49] * Azzab doesn't say a word.
[14:56:56] * Azzab waits. Then, finally: "The end."

A tale worth retelling. Here, let me retell it to you.

























You see? Very good moral right there.

[14:57:11] <Isha> "That's the worst story I ever heard."

The argument goes on and on and on, neither side really getting anywhere, until such point as Qadir makes a point.

[14:59:58] * Qadir crouches behind it and springs out, imitating a monster, then sprints in front of it, acting like a very inconvienced traveler being attacked by said monster.
[15:00:26] * Qadir then indicates Azzab's charred skin.
[15:01:06] <Qadir> (the general indication being "it would be rather unfortunate if the trap on the chest went off by accident while we were traveling in a closely-packed group)
[15:01:34] <Aphin> Day slowly creeps into afternoon.
[15:01:39] <Aphin> The camels spit on each other.

Cyd takes the point.

[15:01:53] <Cyd> "Okay I'll open the second one, if you insist."
[15:02:09] * Qadir nods, then backs up a safe distance.
[15:02:13] <Safiya> "The last chest set you on fire."
[15:02:25] <Azzab> "And, might I add, the chests might belong to two different parties."
[15:02:28] <Safiya> "But by all means."
[15:02:26] * Cyd begins to shoo them away. "But get out of the way otherwise you might end-up like Azzab."
[15:02:29] <Jaffar> "Fair enough! As long as we don't take what isn't--oh goodness, let us back up."
[15:02:35] * Azzab backs up. Good idea.
[15:02:46] * Qadir stands behind a camel.
[15:04:41] * Safiya leads the camel that Qadir is hiding from away from him. :|
[15:04:51] * Qadir continues walking behind the camel :|

And so he gets to work.

[15:04:29] <Cyd> #roll 1d20+9
[15:04:30] <RPGServ> <Roll for Cyd [1d20+9]: 18>

Whooops.

[15:05:33] <Aphin> ROLL ME REFLEX, THEN
[15:07:18] <Cyd> #roll 1d20+7
[15:07:19] <RPGServ> <Roll for Cyd [1d20+7]: 18>
[15:07:33] <Aphin> That, happily, IS enough to pass the reflex save.
[15:07:37] <Aphin> And you have uncanny dodge?
[15:07:41] <Cyd> Yep
[15:07:58] <Aphin> Then you manage to dance away just as a SECOND PLUME OF FLAME JETS INTO THE SKY



[15:08:29] <Isha> "I take it back, maybe they're not such nice people after all."
[15:08:42] * Safiya just gives Isha a flat expression.
[15:09:23] <Safiya> "...and we wanted to /return/ all this?"
[15:09:37] <Cyd> "There now you know, now we can return it."
[15:09:53] <Azzab> "We still wish to return it, my avaricious friend."
[15:10:26] * Cyd slams the chests close before sticky fingers can get to it.
[15:10:51] <Safiya> "What you see as avarice, I see as pragmatism. The desert is the ultimate arbiter of who claims what, and whoever the previous owners were lost their prize to it."

And around we go again.

[15:10:53] * Qadir records this on a sheet of paper reading "contents of second chest belonging to the House of Sharah" because he's anal like that
[15:11:27] <Aphin> So.
[15:11:31] <Aphin> 2000+ in gold.
[15:11:35] <Aphin> Plus a MYSTERY DAGGER.
[15:11:38] <Aphin> And a fuckton of white wine.
[15:11:50] <Jaffar> One (1) fuckton (metric)
[15:12:08] <Aphin> It is now late afternoon.
[15:12:14] <Aphin> The sun is dipping in the sky.
[15:12:19] * Qadir taps Azzab on the shoulder and makes more motions about opening a trash bag.
[15:12:23] <Azzab> "Perhaps we are best to set camp here tonight?"
[15:12:41] <Cyd> "Yeah let's set camp here and we can discuss it further over dinner."

Jooooooy.

Camp is edgy, with the characters continuing to debate the matter as Qadir etches “Contraband Goods Confiscated by Qadir Al-Farooq et al." on the sides of the chests as they load it back up on one of the camels. Watch is equally tense, as nobody wants anyone else standing alone next to the chests – even going so far as to double up watches. Eventually, however…

[15:25:15] <Aphin> The moons set, and the sun rises.
[15:25:30] <Aphin> ALTHROS GREETS YOU ON THIS DAY
[15:26:05] <Aphin> As the cool of night runs away, the heat of day reasserts itself.
[15:26:18] <Aphin> You now have 5 days to reach Jhuleed.

We’re taking the long route. Unfortunately…

[15:26:44] <Aphin> Safiya! Give me a survival check!
[15:26:55] <Safiya> #roll 1d20+16
[15:26:55] <RPGServ> <Roll for Safiya [1d20+16]: 32>
[15:27:10] <Aphin> Safiya, you know EXACTLY where Jhuleed is in relation to you.
[15:27:13] <Aphin> ... but there's a problem.
[15:27:18] <Aphin> You also know there's a blightstorm on the way.

Blightstorms are a part of the post-apocalyptic world of Adurn, having been wrenched apart by literal incarnations of Law and Chaos. Being caught in one is akin to having your soul being wrenched from your body and shredded to bits as your mortal coil is twisted into a hideous, monstrous thing. It is only slightly better than a weekend in Detroit.

[15:28:27] * Safiya sniffs, feeling the air. "I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I know exactly how to reach the city. The bad news is that we must make haste."
[15:28:40] * Qadir cocks his head at Safiya
[15:28:35] <Azzab> "That is bad news?"
[15:28:36] <Safiya> "A blightstorm is coming. Two days from now, from the... smell of it."
[15:28:43] <Azzab> "Ah, I see."
[15:28:58] * Qadir 's eyes widen, and he immediately starts looking through the camels for his blight tent.
[15:29:17] <Jaffar> "Mercy. Let's hurry, then."

Now, the party can hurry to Jhuleed and theoretically make it in two days, but that means that our camels will be making constant fortitude saves…as will we. Additionally, we won’t be able to sleep, which means that spellcasters will be unable to regenerate their spells. In other words, if we come across a monster encounter we’re screwed.

[15:29:34] <Safiya> Can I roll Geography knowledge for shortcuts?
[15:30:02] <Aphin> Safiya, you TOTALLY can.
[15:30:03] <Aphin> Go for it.

A good move. If we can shorten that gap, we’ll be much safer.

[15:30:08] <Safiya> #roll 1d20+17
[15:30:09] <RPGServ> <Roll for Safiya [1d20+17]: 18>

Then again…

[15:30:54] <Jaffar> I'm kind of relieved that got us 'no shortcuts' instead of 'the quickest shortcut is through the Mountain Where Brown Dragons Live. I don't know why it's called that'.
[15:31:26] <Azzab> You don't want to know why they're called Brown Dragons.
[15:31:04] <Aphin> ...
[15:31:08] * Aphin slowly grins.
[15:31:12] <Jaffar> NOPE.

Oh shit.

[15:30:24] <Cyd> Can I roll a geography roll too?
[15:30:29] <Aphin> Go for it, Cyd!
[15:31:34] <Cyd> Okay I use my Lore Master's once a day take 20 as standard action on knowledge skill geography and get 30

Man, Archaeologists are crazy.

[15:31:59] <Jaffar> 'The quickest shortcut,' said Cyd, 'is through the Mountain Where Brown Dragons Don't Live. I know why it's called that.'
[15:32:10] <Aphin> XD
[15:32:17] <Aphin> I wouldn't do that to yoooooou, would I?

:|

[15:32:53] * Cyd "Silly elf, we go that way and we get there sooner."
[15:33:26] * Safiya just gives Cyd a dark look. Between sitting in on her shift on watch and this, he is not making a good impression on her. :|
[15:33:32] <Jaffar> "Noble Cyd, I am not sure we should second-guess our guide. She knows the desert much better than I do."
[15:33:27] <Aphin> It'll cut two days off your journey.
[15:34:32] <Safiya> "...no, he's right." Safiya sighs. "There's a valley, I think."
[15:34:54] <Jaffar> "Oh! Splendid! I am sorry I doubted you, friend."
[15:34:57] <Azzab> "Truly, the desert is a shifting land."
[15:35:01] <Safiya> "Feel free to doubt him."
[15:35:15] <Safiya> "He merely... jogged my memory. I can take us through it."

[15:36:26] <Safiya> "There is a cross-roads after all, and if you're not careful, there's a Mountain you may find yourself stranded on. It's name is self-explanatory, and it's best I won't have to explain."

This is going to bite us in the ass, isn’t it.

[15:36:48] * Aphin opens up Adurn.txt

Yyyyyyep.

Our heroes spend several hours trekking through the desert, following Cyd’s and Safiya’s directions to get through the sweltering heat and wincing at green lightningstrikes. We eventually make our way into a valley and up to a temple within it, but due to our pressing itinerary, we decide to exercise caution and choose our battles once more.

Unfortunately, there is one that Aphin decides to push on us.

[16:13:17] <Aphin> Safiya, you think you've shaved two days off your journey. :D
[16:13:58] <Safiya> How close are we to the city now?
[16:14:04] <Aphin> Oh, less than a day, now.
[16:14:09] <Aphin> GOOD TIME
[16:14:14] <Safiya> Awesome. :D
[16:14:17] <Aphin> Cyd's little shortcut was AWESOME.
[16:14:22] <Aphin> Sorry, let me rephrase that.
[16:14:25] <Aphin> CYD SAVED YOUR ASSES
[16:14:26] <Aphin> :D
[16:14:33] <Safiya> HE JUST REMINDED ME >:|
[16:14:37] <Aphin> (Doo hoo hoo hooooo)
[16:14:57] <Aphin> In fact, you think you can see the distant form of Jhuleed against the horizon, a towering city-state rising high into the sky.
[16:15:24] <Aphin> One day's hard riding should get you there.
[16:15:37] * Safiya points to that distant form. "Let's hurry. And reconsider what we're about to do with these chests."

When all of a sudden…

[16:15:40] <Aphin> SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
[16:16:14] * Jaffar mops his forehead with a handkerchief.
[16:16:29] <Aphin> It is pretty hot. But you guys are okay for now.
[16:16:32] <Aphin> SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
[16:16:36] * Azzab looks up.
[16:16:43] <Aphin> :D
[16:16:52] <Aphin> Azzab, high above you, you see... a shape circling overhead.
[16:17:19] <Aphin> Roll me perception, guys.

Thanks to a bunch of surprises in our previous Pathfinder session, we all effectively roll high enough to see it.

[16:18:06] <Aphin> ... surprisingly... it is kind of... dragon-shaped.








Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

[16:19:22] <Jaffar> "Does that look vaguely draconic to anyone else?"
[16:19:36] <Aphin> In any case, this large, desert-colored, dragon-shaped being SKREEEEEEES one more time, and then.... uh.
[16:19:40] <Aphin> Is that a divebomb?
[16:19:49] <Aphin> EVERYBODY ROLL INITATIVE!

And so we begin battle against a brown drake.

[16:21:33] <Aphin> Alright. It's divebombing, so it's not within melee range, but it's within spell and ranged... er, range.
[16:21:39] <Aphin> SAFIYA, YOU GO FIRST
[16:21:49] <Safiya> Alright!
[16:21:54] <Safiya> I'm gonna cast Hold Animal. B|
[16:22:03] <Aphin> ... what


Nice opening move, and this would have really pissed Aphin off if she’d managed it.

[16:22:57] <Aphin> ... what's the will dc to save on that.
[16:23:06] <Jaffar> 12+whatever Steel's appropriate modifier is
[16:23:17] <Aphin> That would be wisdom.
[16:23:29] <Safiya> 18
[16:23:41] <Aphin> Uh, okay...
[16:23:44] <Aphin> #roll 1d20+8
[16:23:44] <RPGServ> <Roll for Aphin [1d20+8]: 19>

As it is, it’s just a hypothetical scenario along the lines of “What would happen if you cast Stoneskin on the final boss’ silver dragon?” and thus something we’ll never get to know the answer t—

[16:25:37] * Cyd casts Deep Slumber on the Drake

Oh. Oh my.

[16:26:33] <Aphin> ...
[16:26:34] <Cyd> Or is he too far off, I have still trouble with conceptualizing feet
[16:26:37] <Aphin> What's the dc for that.
[16:26:58] <Cyd> 16
[16:27:00] <Jaffar> Oh, okay.
[16:27:04] <Aphin> #roll 1d20+8
[16:27:05] <RPGServ> <Roll for Aphin [1d20+8]: 20>

HAH

TAKE THAT

NO CHEAP TRICKS FOR YOU, TEAM VERY SPECIAL EPIS—

[16:27:25] <Aphin> Isha, your turn!
[16:27:38] <Cyd> Bollo his wings!
[16:28:37] <Isha> #roll 1d20+11
[16:28:37] <RPGServ> <Roll for Isha [1d20+11]: 23>

oh

[16:28:44] <Aphin> .... that will hit.
[16:28:47] <Isha> 8D
[16:28:50] <Aphin> Now he has to roll acrobatics....

oh fuck

[16:28:59] <Qadir> XD
[16:29:00] <Aphin> -_-
[16:29:10] <Aphin> #roll 1d20+3
[16:29:10] <RPGServ> <Roll for Aphin [1d20+3]: 13>

oh fuck

[16:29:24] <Qadir> NOW IT'S PLUMMETING
[16:29:21] <Aphin> At this point, he's 50 feet in the air, so he takes...
[16:29:21] <Azzab> :O
[16:29:24] <Aphin> ...

oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck

[16:29:28] <Aphin> 50 points of automatic damage.
[16:29:31] <Aphin> Fuck. You.
[16:29:39] <Isha> #roll 1d4+5
[16:29:39] <RPGServ> <Roll for Isha [1d4+5]: 9>
[16:29:40] <Qadir> Oh my god.
[16:29:41] <Isha> :3
[16:30:00] <Aphin> WHAPP
[16:30:03] <Aphin> "Skreeeeeeeeeee"
[16:29:47] <Cyd> "Good work Isha."
[16:29:55] <Jaffar> "Well, that was an impressive shot."
[16:30:05] <Safiya> "Very lucky."
[16:30:08] * Isha watches the dragon go FWOOOSH in the sand. Sand is EVERYWHERE.
[16:30:16] <Aphin> That drake - for that is what it is - CRASHES INTO THE GROUND LIKE A GODDAMNED HAMMER OF TITANS
[16:30:16] <Jaffar> Wide-angle shot of the six of us, from behind, just watching as it spirals into the sand like a meteor.
[16:30:18] * Qadir looks from the lizard to Isha, then to his bow, and sighs, pulling out his axe again.
[16:30:36] * Azzab flies up, because he can, and, of course, bolts it.

The drake hasn’t even had the chance to attack yet.

[16:30:42] <Azzab> #roll 7d6
[16:30:42] <RPGServ> <Roll for Azzab [7d6]: 23>
[16:30:47] <Qadir> oh my god
[16:30:52] <Aphin> Lemme roll reflex...
[16:30:59] <Aphin> #roll 1d20+8
[16:30:59] <RPGServ> <Roll for Aphin [1d20+8]: 25>
[16:31:02] <Azzab> It does!
[16:31:07] <Aphin> HA
[16:31:08] <Azzab> Only 12 damage.
[16:31:11] <Aphin> HALF DAMAGE

”Success” indeed.

[16:31:36] <Aphin> QADIR, YOUR TURN
[16:31:57] * Qadir , well, CHARGES.
[16:32:07] <Qadir> #roll 1d20+13
[16:32:08] <RPGServ> <Roll for Qadir [1d20+13]: 17>
[16:32:08] *RPGServ* <Roll [1d20+13]: 17>

To add insult to injury, the drake is also prone, which adds an extra +6 to Qadir’s attack. Thus, Qadir manages to slice into the dragon with a dice roll of 4.

[16:33:04] <Qadir> #roll 1d8+1d6+10
[16:33:05] <RPGServ> <Roll for Qadir [1d8+1d6+10]: 16>
[16:33:05] *RPGServ* <Roll [1d8+1d6+10]: 16>

And finally, finally, it’s the dragon’s turn.

Unfortunately, it can only choose to recover from being prone.

Which earns an attack of opportunity from Qadir.

[16:34:42] <Qadir> #roll 1d20+13
[16:34:43] <RPGServ> <Roll for Qadir [1d20+13]: 25>
[16:34:43] *RPGServ* <Roll [1d20+13]: 25>
[16:34:46] <Qadir> ...31
[16:34:48] <Aphin> ...
[16:34:48] <Aphin> You hit it.
[16:34:57] <Qadir> #roll 1d8+1d6+10
[16:34:57] <RPGServ> <Roll for Qadir [1d8+1d6+10]: 18>
[16:34:58] *RPGServ* <Roll [1d8+1d6+10]: 18>
[16:35:02] <Aphin> AND IT'S DEAD
[16:35:03] <Aphin> ARE YOU HAPPY
[16:35:05] <Aphin> ARE YOU HAPPY

And now you know what happens when you stun a drake at 50 feet.

Very.

Yeah I'm pretty satisfied all around, myself.

Words cannot describe how hilarious this is!

Yup, why wouldn't we be?

I loved that all of the responses to his question were just variations of "Yes" and "Yep" in chat, haha.

APHIN THEY ARE VERY HAPPY

HEY LOOK

SOMEONE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS

Awwwwwwwww look at that adorable face! He's smiling! :D

nice pixels, brah