Let's discuss Extranet weirdos

Well, you guys have all probably seen that one person at some point on the extranet - someone just so inexplicably and impossibly strange that you can't look away from their antics. We're talking about people who run the gamut of bizarre behaviour, unorthodox obsessions and antisocial mannerisms, but they all share one thing in common - the complete inability to stop what they're doing. They're like watching a car crash in slow motion; you just can't look away.

But enough with the theatrics. Let's talk about weird people doing weird things on the Extranet.

Like our good friend, BattlespaceBatty001, a batarian from Omega who... genuinely believes he's in an relationship with Diana Allers.

I can't make this up:


Oh yeah, and then there's the pictures. Oh lord, the pictures:



Christ on a holobike.

Anyways, feel free to talk about your own favourite weirdos too. I'll finish off with a few miscellaneous things I also found:




Leave your sanity at the door, people.

Such pitiful specimen of the glorious batarian race. Oh, why have our deities chosen to kill off the best and let delusional hoodlums like this man propagate their mental illness on the extranet?

And that turian lifesuit. It disgusts me, because it means there are also batarian lifesuits for people to pretend they're like us. They couldn't be farther from that than they could wish for to be.

Urakh!

Anyone remember a few years ago when that one quarian actress Via'Cani was rumored to be dating turian actor Netar Toromax? It was hilarious. Not only did you have standard quarian hate but you also had insane fangirls losing their marbles over it.



You know, I don't even think they were dating. Or if they were, it lasted all of a month and was forgotten about.

That reminds me off those extranet sites who claim the asari being displaced and genetically manipulated humans, despite all genetic and paleontologic evidence.
Aside from the more generic conpiracy theory sites who atleast try to cough up something pseudo-scientific, there are one or two asari-adoring/worshipping cults out there. Yes, it is as insane as it sounds. That has less basis in reality than those reaper cults or shepard worshippers.

Well, talking about paleontology, there are now websites who claim the dinosaur extinction event were caused by the reapers and that there was an intelligent breed of dinosaurs on earth 65m years ago.
They make an covincing case, but absence of disprooving evidence doesn't mean they are right. I mean we should have found artificial artifacts with those bones who can stand the trial of time if there was a sapient dinosaur in the past, shouldn't we?

The people infatuated with quarian suits that make their own custom suits that they can wear around. Its offensive on so many levels.

"Oh but they are so pretty I love them!"

Because you can take them off you idiot.

Oh lord, the local-base virtual model miscalibrations. You'd think if he adored her that much he wouldn't still be using that awful lo-bandwidth wartime holomodel. (She's quite pretty au naturel.)

I suppose it's not really relevant to that debate (I gather you're right about a spacefaring civilisation along modern lines leaving traces we might be expected to have found, if only in low-impact environments like airless moons and so forth; on the other hand it's valid to suppose an entity as powerful and fixated as the Reapers could have eliminated all trace, since what remains of the Protheans, our 'immediate' predecessors, must represent the most minute fraction of what once stood in their time, so logically a minor star civilisation orders of magnitude further back into history could well have been eradicated with no lasting trace - but that argument leads logically to denying all evidence of itself, it's probably best treated as a hypothetical to be kept in mind)... damn extended tangent, now I've lost my train of thought. Oh right, extinction - if you look at scenarios involving simply the rise of sapient life, rather than expansionist star travellers, it's not an argument to be casually dismissed. Back when I was at the academy (this was well before anyone knew what a Reaper was, of course) we had a guest speaker who gave a fascinating presentation about the potential of natural erosion - environmental, geological, and so on - to utterly erase artificiality given enough time. Her example was a hypothetical Thessian lifeform, fallen into extinction during the Cascade (that's loosely speaking our equivalent of your... what was it that took out your terrific lizards, meteor?) - she proposed a planet-spanning civilisation, tens of thousands of years or more as fully-sapient tool-users and builders, reaching well into what we'd consider the 'information age' at their peak, and then gave a detailed account of how every 'long-lasting' structure and material they produced could be broken down without a trace by natural processes. Even fossil records, given a bit of poor fortune - it's worth bearing in mind we've got, what is it, five, six viable skeletons discovered of Goddesswhale? If just six of the most colossal species ever to dwell on Thessia had died just a little way away from where they did, the other fragments we've found would tell us little more than 'something, probably fairly large'. (There's still a fairish following in palaeontological circles for the interpretation of certain skeletal features being indicative of defensive adaptations against a physically superior predator, suggesting there was something bigger swimming about that Goddesswhale had to worry about, which is an awe-inspiring thought.)

Made me feel quite inspired, actually - like living in just one walled village all your life, and one day opening the gate and walking out into the world for the first time. Although of course that 'world' isn't here anymore, and if it once was nothing remains but the logical possibility, but still, I found it a pleasant thought. Anyway, not relevant to your Reaper theorists, but sapient dinosauruses... not so far-fetched, perhaps.

You should hear some of the cover versions of traditional asari songs humans put on the extranet. I'd be offended at the butchery if they weren't hilarious. Apparently the latex crests and terrible makeup they put on for the vids are supposed to help matters?

some of the porn I've seen definitely counts

lactating matriarch
krogan plate removal
naked volus wrestling (this is actually funny)
quarian sneezing
salarian cloaca fingering
drell ass licking

I find it rather endearing, actually. And can we really act indignant considering the number of Sally movies Illium has churned out over the years?

Wasn't there a newspiece a little while ago about fashion trends, mentioning a suppsed next big thing would be hair implants for asari or some such? Can't find it anymore right now but from what i see, this has not become a larger thing.

Jada, I think I recognize your face! '88 Nos Varda Soundstage festival???
Welcome to CDN by the way!

re: extranet weirdos:

Please don't ever quote me in this thread. Even in jest. Or there shall be consequences of a sort to rain down on you :|

Also I shall be dressing up as an asari tonight in further attempts to get in touch with my inner asari. Or 'sari' as the cool kids on the extranet call it. Life is a hard for turian who is a pyjak who is an asari who is also a pyjak. Dreadful, really.

I really want my old username back btw :(

Oh, so you're Turian. That explains everthing.

I don't really know what you mean by this but it probably has racist undertones.

Seeing a turian try to act like a sari would be rather amusing...

Watch this holovid, Doctor.

It's a news parody from some Palaven channel from before the war. The guy that's playing Tevos also has done a Calyn interpretation, a couple of episodes earlier. I think the show is not around anymore, at least not on on the Citadel.

Well let me get the blue carapace paint then.