Oh so I'm just a fucking whelp aren't I?

Y’know what? Let’s make dis interestin’.

HEY, BOSSYPANTS

You wanna sit dere an’ watch da “Help Bossypants Commit Suicide Fund” collect dust, dat’s fine wit’ me. But if you want to fast-track plummetin’ towards Meatlover’s Paradise at terminal velocity, I, JORGAL FUCKIN’ DWICK, will PERSONALLY - ON MY OWN CREDSTICK, pay yer way all da way dere.

TO ELABORATE:

I, JORGAL FUCKIN’ DWICK, will DONATE the Tulwar-class hothouse lander what I’ve just purchased to YOU. I’ve taken da liberties’a forwardin’ da ship specs to da shit fund you got ] – you can review dem ter yer heart’s content, but it’s got ever’thin’ you need ter land. Even got engines what might take you back up if ya somehow make it.

Not only dat - but I will STOCK dat ship wit’ enough supplies ter keep a man’a my stature goin’ fer a week. Given what a malnourished tit you are, dat should keep you goin’ fer a month.

Finally, ter prove ter da galaxy dat you got da spirit’a Shath Norda in ya, I will fill dat houthouser wit’ enough cameras ter record da whole Reaper War twice over. You won’t nap, you won’t breathe, you won’t take a goddamn shit wit’out sommat knowin’ ‘bout it – an’ wit’ dat much shit recordin’ yer pansy-ass twink vitals, dere won’t be nobody what won’t believe you streaked about on Meatlover’s Paradise.

All you gotta do is sign over da rights ter dat broadcast. All I want is ter be able to use dat footage whenever da fuck I want.

So how ‘bout it, bossypants?

Wanna earn dat right to fuck whatever you want?

You've legally changed your name, haven't you? Spirits...

How I sign my paychecks ain't none'yo business, Toots.

I must say, Dwik, you are one of the most linguisticly savvy krogan I have seen. It makes for a refreshing change.

Never was I ever so excited about a DDS project. True creativity.

Part'a da trade, Stripper Pole. Folks don't listen ter ya 'less yer interestin' as shit.

An' bossypants? I'M WAAAAAAAITING

Now now, children shouldn't be doing things so dangerous, and you're all awful people for encouraging the poor brat.

Don'choo talk 'bout Stripper Pole like dat. He ain't done nuthin'.

Gimme the fucking ship, asshole!

EXCELLENT.

Naw jus' sign here on da dotted line.

heh heh heh heh heh

Weeeeeell, I'm sure we can come to some kinda arrang-

Pass.

Guess the fat suave dinosaur's going to have to be your sugar daddy, instead.

Uhh, there are a lot of fucking words here. Should I have some other asshole read it?

Ah Fuck it, who cares


Would you assholes stop hitting on me? Its fucking weird. Get off the extranet and go get laid or something. Do drugs. I don't care just stop flirting with me you fucks.

Shit.

So, er, how come he gets invited into the inner circle?

What inner circle?

Is this some salarian thing where you start seeing conspiracies where there aren't any?

Maybe he means the inner rings of Dwick, you know, spiral orbit into doom?

Shame you're too much of a whelp to play ball. You sound like a squealer.

Ah the meat run, thats good entertainment...

Man, you fuckers are weird as shit. Its like there is something wrong with your brains or something. Like, you got one of those brain worms from those or something make you all weird. Because they are eating that part of your brain that makes you act right.

Go get dewormed fuck. Get out of my thread stop posting on the extranet

Cuz I'm gonna be famous now

So, you think killing yourself is gonna make you famous? Good luck with that!

Dude, lots of people that have killed themselves got famous.

But I'm not killing myself anyway so it doesn't fucking matter.