Critique Thread

Quite literally all I know about nq29 is that it (he?) is a person on the extranet, possibly turian. I’m not even sure of that, because there is no description of him (her?) anywhere – not on the OOC or IC biographies, not on his (their?) “main page,” not even an avatar.

If you want nq29 to be more than a sarcastic know-it-all (which, by itself, is slightly less cliché than “badass merc”), then you need to give him situations in which he isn’t exactly that – and no, simply having no answer for a Dwickcast doesn’t count. Give him a subject he’s passionate about, or at least a subject in which he’s not sarcastic. Write up a few hobbies and some dumb stories he can tell the next time someone brings up, I dunno, Thunderball. Think up stupid experiences for him, and turn them into threads with dubious morals. Most importantly, take Dippy’s and Ana’s comments in the Character Creation 101 thread to heart, and give the character a concept (not a conceit) to build around.

And if all else fails, at least give him an avatar and a side blurb. You know what they say about pictures and word count.

Thanks, that's extremely helpful. My concern when posting this was more "how do I make him mildly annoying to other characters, without making him unbearably annoying to players", but now that you mention it, he pretty much fits exactly with that thread's definition of a "conceit". I only originally designed him as a way of getting a feel for CDN while I came up with more fleshed-out characters, but if I'm going to do anything else with him I'll have to go beyond that.

(Also, where can I get an avatar, for him or anyone else? I'm honestly not sure).

Google image man. A LOT of people drew nice Turian pictures over the years. Plus you don't have to put his face on it, it can be something he likes.

My two cents on "annoying" - if you're going to have a character being annoying, make sure it's for a reason, specifically a reason that has to do with the character's personality.

We've had a character who was a hotshot pilot who could be annoying when he bragged about how great he was. We've had a character who was blatantly racist against krogans and batarians and could be annoying whenever he denigrated people just because of their species. We've had a character who can always see the downside of every situation, no matter what it is. I know this character can be annoying when she uses threads as political platforms, and hell, we've got Dwick.

The thing is that there's more to any of these characters than just "being annoying." A character that exists solely to be obnoxious, without any further layers to their personality, is a character many people on the board won't want to interact with. It's much better to create a character with a developed personality who, on occasion, can be annoying when a certain aspect of their personality comes into play. A character should not be just a license to be obnoxious.

^This. Would it kill for some people to play utter morons?
Any way, feel free to critique me.

I've been led to understand that if you empty all fields from your post it will disappear.

Or causing all life as you know it to stop instantaneously and every molecule in your body to explode at the speed of light.

Well, one of the two.

Hot damn it's true, 4Eyes. Thanks!

It is? Cool, I was afraid to try it myself and get permabanned for breaking the forum...

I, I mean, happy to help!

Figured I ought to put myself up here. Critique away.

Anybody has any feedback for my chars (LT, Blue Bucket, Close Protection, Spearhead, Yellowbelly), please shoot me a PM on the old site to my Gunny account.

Go ahead, do it. Talk about Vik.

Talk about Vik and how you see him, what you think of him, the works.

PM, do it here, whatever. Just do it. Be honest.

He's WAY too human-sounding. Seriously I was tempted to have Michelle openly doubt his quarian origin IC. I understand that he's been spending time on Earth, but even so he spouts knowledge that should be considered at best obscure for aliens in 2188. My advise is to SERIOUSLY work on exploring an alien mindset for your character. Also beside this flaw I don't know much about him, what's special about Vik? Maybe if I had followed you on the old boards I would know better, but as a newcomer all I know is "that quarian dude that sure sounds like a human".
Sorry if I sound harsh though, but I think those flaws are rather easy to fix.

Come at me people. Critique for Juhani!

Any feedback on any of my characters would be greatly appreciated. (Aside from 'post more, goddammit'. I'm working on that!)

Arrow, Hammerhead, Goblin (not been around much since the reboot), Wenrum.

Have at it.

Critique for Lear'Kaus. Do it. I'm sure I can handle it.

By the dark arts of thread necromancy, have at me!

...or, well, my character really =P

Please PM any constructive criticism or suggestions to Corona on the old site.

No, me! And don't bother with PMs or IRC, just gimme the critique here and now. I'm a big boy/girl/other, I can take it.

=/

Fiiiiiiiiine =P

I enjoy reading Celeste. She's a different take on being a matriarch with a knack for combat that I like as a reader as much as it infuriates me as a sort-of-but-not-really GM =P

If I had to offer some criticism, I'd say that I'm not sure where she's coming from or what she wants, if that makes sense? She's a newish character so it's OK (and I might have missed a couple of threads), but I have no idea what her background is or why she's disrupting a slave auction (aside from the fact that it's a slave auction, I mean =P).

It's not a big deal, and I'm sure her backstory will be filled in as you write more with her, so I guess it wasn't really criticism after all and just boils down to post more, damnit =P

Hope it helps!

Oh don't worry, that's all going to get an answer. I'm just leaving it for a reveal so you can all smack your heads and call me brilliant.

I fully expect to ^^