Oh so I'm just a fucking whelp aren't I?

And here I thought he was just trying to get laid.

normally those people are musicians or people with genuine talent

Oh, thank goddess.

You had me worried there for a moment. Now that this Kruban nonsense is out of your system perhaps you should consider a less suicidal rite of passage?

He's Krogan. Define 'less suicidal'. They all seem about as bad as each other, as far as options go.

Smugly
Riiiiiiiiiight back at ya.

OK. So it's official. You're still going to Kruban in spite of all the (reasonable) people on this board saying 'don't do it' and everyone else (myself included) saying 'have fun dying.' You even signed a contract with Jorgal fucking Dwick saying you’ll record yourself doing it and give him the footage to do with as he pleases. And you’re strongly, strongly insisting you’re not committing an elaborate form of suicide.

I hope my recap is accurate and concise.

Now, how do I phrase this?

Nobody thinks you're coming back from this. I mean, we established you're a fucking idiot, right? We've covered that? OK. Good. Then we established that this is fucking stupid even by your standards, right? Good.

So, y'know what? I know you still want me dead. But, I have to admire this level of boneheaded stupidity. Some might mistake it for undervarren determination. So, both in the spirit of speeding your imminent demise along because I want you to get this shit over with already, and in the spirit of giving you the attention you clearly demand, let's you and me make a bet, whelp. I'll give you a shot at making your dreams of maiming me a potential reality. We'll even make it pay-per-view if you want.

I, Mekan of Omega, do hereby challenge you to a one-on-one street-fight, where anything goes, here on Omega, LIVE, ON THE AIR.

Translation: You make it back alive from Kruban and then recover? You get a shot at killing me. On the air.

You’ll have fuckin’ earned it.

Have fun, ya Blood Pack shithead. I sincerely look forward to seeing you choke on sulfuric gas on DDS.

Hey fatass. Make that asshole sign something so he has to stick to his word.

You want some training Mekan?

I knew it would come to this. I mean, there was no way this place wouldn't devolve into you lot fighting to the death at some point.

Okay, he's not coming back, we all know it, but still.

Well, at least a krogan spontaneously exploding isn't something you watch everyday.

Oh, and I couldn't help but notice your signature. I presume it's pronounced 'Frag', not 'Frog', yes?

heh heh hah hah haw haw haw haw HAW HAW H--

...

Er-HEM-

I don't need ter.

Y'see, signin' dat dere contract gives me ultimate publishin' rights ter yer adventure on da Meat Run. If you read da fine print, dat includes retakes, post-processin', additional 'confessor-cam' scenes, narr'tive distractions, pictures'a yer ass, pictures'a your guns, pictures'a yer other guns, clips'a you on da MSV Gritty Hotbox (dat's da name'a da ship you just got), aaaaaaaand, o'course, unnecessarily long detours ter go have illicit relations wit' a certain fuck-legged fatso wit' attachment issues.

in other words

i own you from da moment you step on dat ship










ps

look outside, bitch






HAW

HAW

HAW

HAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

WHAT

WHAT

FUCK YOU NO ONE IS TAKING PICTURES OF MY ASS AND POSTING THEM ANYWHERE, BITCH


what the fuck

[connection lost]

So, are we going to see what happened before the datalink cut out?

Dibs on the pictures

I assume there will be a terrible show coming out soon featuring the life and death of a shitposter known as BOSS known as Mandatory known as Dr. Mandatory and then known as Mandatory again


Weirdo :|


I actually like Mekan so please don't jynx it and have him beaten to death by a krogan manchild on galactic holovision, dude!

I haven't seen what the surface of Kruban looks like, so yes, I'd like to see pictures of it. I don't care if Mandatory is in them or not.

besides immediate death or mutilation of Mandatory in pictures negates the value from being naked

nah

I can take 'em


Oh, please. This is pretty typical of us.

Or it was a while ago, at least.


...Seriously, guys, I can take 'em. I mean, fuck, I spent three months in a fuckin' warzone where I killed my fair share of dudes, which wasn't exactly my first [TRANSLATOR ERROR: Did you mean 'Death Ride?'].

Just because my legs are glorified scrap-metal doesn't mean I can't fight. Besides, nastier shits than our resident krogan manchild have tried to kill me and failed.

Off-topic question. When did you start liking me? Because that's news.

I mean, it's cool and all, nice to know I'm not universally despised by anyone besides CDN's sociopath population in the wake of my recent career shift and whatnot, but still. News is news.

Pyjak, I fail to see what you're worried about. I mean, looking at Kruban...

[query - search]=Krogan DMZ/Kruban
[match found]=Krogan DMZ/Aralakh/Kruban
[proceed] Y
[filter data] nodesc
[result]

Orbital Distance: 3.31 AU
Orbital Period: 4.6 Earth Years
Radius: 5,443 km
Orbital Period: 4.6 earth years
Atmospheric Pressure: 47.3 Earth Atmospheres
Surface Temperature: 728 Celsius
Surface Gravity: 0.7 G

[end query]

...chances are that Mandatory is just a small pile of bones, (roast) meat, and the odd tube.

Hey Dwik, could I borrow him once you have broken him? (and if he somehow survives.)

I got some "furniture" to move.

"Frarg". It's a perfectly respectable clan. It's not my fault it sounds phonetically similar to the other word. They - we, I guess - don't have many offworld holdings. Humans don't have many dealings with them. With us.