Urgent message

"Hello? Hell?? /(!!!is there anyone on this channel? Please respo()(?? }}Sergeant S%&¤#Talodias of the Turian Hierarchy military forces. We are strand%"£1&%nd need immediate assistance and extracti&7¤1#$[plies running low, emergency rations only last s¤3£%&1""

"I'm pinging my loc¤5ion now, if you are frien#3y and are in the vicinity, we need immediate aid!"

"&id it ev ´ go throu£${$"

"I don't knoqqqqqqqqmni tool is break%6g apart as it //"

"Looks like it's still transmitting!"

"Yeah, and the signal got bette¤ too, I've no 7&ea what I did there."

"Wait, now it????????????00011010101110001110110101111"

[OVERFLOW ERROR]
[OVERFLOW ERROR]
[OVERFLOW ERROR]
[OVERFLOW ERROR]
[OVERFLOW ERROR]
[OVERFLOW ERROR]¤4 spirits, got it goOOOOOOOOO--"

"--ing again. If there is anyone, anyone at al& listening to this, pleas resp--"
[TERMINATED]

Gives us a planet, soldier.

...of all the places you're transmitting on CDN?

Hang in there Sulla and keep transmitting! Help is coming!

Don't we have tech geniuses here to trace the signal? Mekan perhaps, if the Administrator cooperates?

In the past days we've had stupidity, quarian drama, insanity as a result of Dwick and his pet volus, threats due to the site's name, and now random distress signals.

Seems CDN's back to normal.

"--here is that being tran%5mitted?! Who ar% those peop9?"

"I don't have ¤##ucking clue! &4ke I sai#, this is my civilian omnitool, so could be b!6¤5lly anywh000 Did you k%¤% how hard i23was to jury-rig th&7 to0011nd over the shuttle's--"

"Shut up! Look, €2£eone's asking for a ¤#"net, didn't that ¤ing go through?"

"Doesn't @$5770001ok like it, lemm@£4ry again."

"Ear$€! We'¨¨¨¨¨¨lanet Earth!"

"They fucking can't hear you, F@£ah!"

"Wait! Wait. I think I got i#¤to clear up a little, let's see if I cannnnnnnn backtrace the signal, and try se??ding the ping agai--"

[DISCONNECTED]

[CONNECTED]

"Shit! Okay, I think I... CDN. Of all the sites in this galax&. What the actual f@460000001111"

[LOCATION DATA RECEIVED]
[ATTENTION]
[DATA IS FLAGGED WITH EMERGENCY TRANSMISSION PROTOCOLS]
[SWIFT ACTION IS RECOMMENDED]
[ATTACHED FILE: MARKER66522062.OTD]

"Please some$€! co&/ get us out, or f ¤&{rd this to the ri%&/ authorities. Please."

Oh, sure, name-drop the guy who's got shit going down. He'll totally help.

I'll try and trace it if I can, but no promises.

You're lucky I'm a nice guy, 4Eyes.

Forwarding that to rescue authorities, just hang in there!

weird

maybe it is transmitting to something in his omnitool's history or w/e

gl forwarding to people who can help fast cuz it sounds bad

And not a single fuck was given that day.

That username looks familiar.

You saying you're on Earth? You ain't coming in too clear, buddy. If you're on the homeworld, we'll be able to get to you pretty easily. Don't know how you got into so much shit on Earth, of all places, but hey...

HEY, WHO ARE YOU CALLING A PET, RIMJOBBER??

Face it, footstool. You're a fuckin' pet. Dwick keeps you around despite repeated attempts to get away. And then when you guys go to do shit, you have the time of your fuckin' life. Just like a varren who whines at its owner a whole lot, while the owner needs to keep it close or it runs off. The only difference is, you're a bit higher maintenance.

Shit, dude, no need to be so jealous. You want to fuck Dwick that bad, I'll send him your address.

HEY DWICK, THERE'S A BATARIAN HERE THAT WANTS TO FUCK YOU

TELL 'IM TO TAKE A NUMBER

MEKAN, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE A NUMBER. HE WILL FUCK YOU LATER. I'VE FORWARDED YOUR INFO TO DWICK SO HE'LL GET BACK TO YOU, THOUGH.

Safely in a Kodiak. For now.

This corporal here was nice enough to let me use his omnitool, since mine's a bit cranky. Been that way since the Crucible fired. Hell, may've even been longer than that. Falah and Victan are already fast asleep even though this shuttle rides like varren shot in the rear. They didn't have any food for us, but I'm sure we'll gorge ourselves near death when we get back to civilization. Or what's left of it.

But the looks these marines gave us when they found three turians on the verge on starvation on some fucking island in the middle of Pacific Ocean. I guess they thought we might be marauders in disguise or... Shit, shouldn't joke about stuff like that.

I'll update my status when I get a shower, three hot meals and a sleep around the clock. Twice.

Fucking CDN... I don't know should I feel like shooting someone in the head or that I've returned home when I saw the bantering start.

Seriously, fucking probability vortex

Oh, the joy I would feel if you were to ever pop like a pierced, pissed-off, flatulent little balloon...

And that's coming from a nice guy ::)

To...refocus on the issue of importance

It is good to hear that you are alive, safe, and doing well Talonz. Take care and rest up.


Oh

and welcome back