One-off Omega piracy gig, short time only

'Sup, CDN? Tides, this is a bit of a story, so bear with me.

A buddy of mine (not an Eclipse buddy, fyi, just someone I know) is trying to put together a little one-off piracy gig out of Omega - only problem is that his usual operators are either off-station or just not up to scratch, and he can't afford a proper team like my girls.

I know there're a shit-ton of mangy freelancer solo types on here, so I thought I'd throw a bone your way. They're looking for maybe three people for a one-time-only pirating job - you board the ship while it's docked, you take out the guards, you land it somewhere else and get paid.

If anyone's interested, post here with a secure resume and once my pal's had a look, they'll get back to you.

Serious offers from people actually on Omega only, BYO equipment, mechanical experience or some engineering qualifications a plus. Have at it!

And tides. Bloody frog owes me a drink, but anything to get that "quarian stripper" thread off the forum's front page.

Too bad I have a legit job, sounds like easy fun.


And if the "quarian stripper" thread is so irritating, i can make sure it stays on the front page, just to irritate the void out of you.

If you aren't:

a) a freelancer; or
b) interested in the job;

Then take your bucket fetish and fuck off out of my thread. Tides, create your own fucking thread if your fantasies mean that much to you.

Edit: Do not make a thread about your sexual fantasies. C'mon freelancers, where are you?

Need firepower? Got it right here.

Openly recruiting for piracy? Check.

Asking for freelancers specifically? Check.

Asking on the extranet? That's a big check.

Oh, and Isadore's in here whining too. So that's a check as well.

Mhm, this thread nicely rounds out my Retard Bingo sheet.

Hey Celeste, how about threatening to hunt all of them down and murder them? That usually works!

In.

I shall have my résumé prepared shortly when time allows for it.

Oh, i think you forgot the part where this is a setup, hence the freelancers. If you were to hire proffessional pirates (myself) the ship might actually be captured, giving you a load of trouble with whoever wanted it staged. In short, BULLSHIT JOB

Uhhhhhuh, you're leaving out all the juicy bits you know. Like tonnage, cargo, that kinda shit. I'm uh, pr obviously not signing up just curious.

Ooooooh lookey here the fucking turncoat's scraping for creds. Hells, whoulda fucking guessed?

Ohmyfuckingspiritshahahahahah you're so fucking funny! You're talking about a thing that happened and saying it's like a different thing that happened! And there's even fucking exclamation points!!!! So fucking funny girl, almost makes up for the fact that you're an enormous bint packed so full of shit s'a miracle you don't squelch wherever you walk. Lololololol!!11!!!1

But no really you're kinda a cunt.

How professional? Doesn't even turn on spellcheck. That's how fucking professional he is.

Resigned, numbnut. I've been lot of outfits over the years, and the Suns didn't impress me much. You'll burn bright alright, but like your namesakes, you'll also burn out quick. What are you going to do when your employer folds out?

Lackadaisically
I'm a half-decent pilot, if you need one.

Sure, i cant spell, but this job is BULLSHIT, and im trying to makesure thats clear so Queen bitch gets pissed that nobod ywants to do it

Percentage shares being the juiciest bit left off the table.

No Eclipse run sign ups D'Veyra? Your not running ops on the side are you? I'm shocked really. Course I suppose if Eclipse don't like it I should be all for it. I'd volunteer but being a rent-a-cop baits a young mans game and I'm just not that dumb any more. Besides signing up with some Eclipse Enid probably wouldn't look so good on my Suns record would it?

But if we all get turfed out over Tshombesha I'll give you a bell.


Granted this board was never a fuckin brain trust but really Maggles what the fucks this place coming to eh?

If I'm actually going to do it, I don't announce it publically first.

Incidentally where are you all planning on meeting?

Better not be, or you'll get stuck in a Corrections unit just like all the other poor fuckers Command decided to yank away.

No, Centurion, it wouldn't. We need at least one or two vets with us still, so try not to piss off higher too goddam much.

Sorry for the wait, gents and ladies, but the Frogsterious Stranger's made up his mind - FierceSun, Stygian and elcor lady-dude, you're up. He'll be pinging you shortly.*


Be ashamed. Be very ashamed. Tides.


Eh. Anything I'm leaving out, it's 'cause I don't know myself. Like I said, just tryin' to help a friend out.


And I thought you knew me, Dunn. Runnin' ops is harder work for less pay, 'least til the tungsten starts flying.

Don't even joke about Tshombesha. Tides.


Remate arcology. Don't worry about the quarantine signs, they're just for show - walk in and follow the scent of perfume over to our meet-up, k?

You see, you joke about that, but I guarantee that at least one person would have taken that seriously and gone there. That is the kind of person this site attracts.

Now if we could just convince FourEyes to head down there we'll be in business.

Yeah, it's a bit sad - I hear some people are still getting themselves killed on the anti-p mines we left scattered around the edges.

Kinda proves Rala's Third Theory of Evolution, don't it? Tides.

Just bumping this up a notch to say that my froggy pal says he's sent out PMs.

So yeah. Good luck and don't die and all that.