[Entertainment] Malix Coreus Announces 'Oh John Ringo No' Sequel

Malix Coreus Announces 'Oh John Ringo No' Sequel

In a move that surprised the entertainment industry Malix Coreus, legendary for the famously inaccurate human-exploitation movie 'Oh John Ringo No', has announced that he is not only back in the movie business but has successfully managed to pitch 'Oh John Ringo No 2: Elysium Fields' to Vadali Broadcasting. Insiders claim that the subtitle 'electric boogaloo' was narrowly turned down in favor of 'Elysium Fields' as Coreus, according to them, "did not want to be seen as 'tacky'".

'Oh John Ringo No' was an enormous box office flop, as well as being one of the first movies in the (short lived) human-exploitation genre. The holo shortly became famous for containing a legendarily enormous amount of errors, many of which could have been avoided via a simple extranet search. It, among other errors, posited that the American Civil Wars were one prolonged conflict, the country was a totalitarian dictatorship, is located in present day Siam, and ran an oppressive, homogenizing world government for nearly three hundred years before being overthrown by a young Grover Norquist in 2019.

The failure of the movie drove Coreus out of the industry and, soon afterwards, out of the spotlight. He published a pair of childrens' books, a fantasy novel and a thriller, each of which was essentially unnoticed, and then rejoined the Hierarchy military. He reportedly served with distinction, reaching citizenship tier 9 by the end of the war.

'Oh John Ringo No's' dismal failure wasn't a bad sign for all involved in the project. Lead actor Rama Khan, who played Grover Norquist in the original movie, was catapulted into the spotlight as a result of the film and successfully used the attention to become one of the most recognizable horror-dramedy actors in the genre. He has been confirmed as part of the new cast, though details on his role have not come to light. The only statement he has been willing to give about his role so far has been "Trust me, this is going to be good".

No other details about the movie have been forthcoming.

Looks like someone is trying to ride the controversy to a good box office. Here's to it failing as spectacularly as it did last time.

And I just figured out what I'm going to watch next.

It should be good for a laugh, if nothing else. I look forward to its release.

....Why is my nose bleeding after reading this?

Well. This was unexpected.

This needs a drinking game yesterday. I know what I'm doin' tonight.

I second that motion, Raelon!

Thirded.

If you two are on the Citadel, we need to meet up and have a drinking game watching this.

I only just noticed this, but:


Reportedly served with distinction? Even if his record was classified for whatever reason, tiers are public. There shouldn't be any ambiguity about this.

Reports sealed by request of the guy in question?

He reached CT 9, but 'serving with distinction' is distinct from that. Confirming medals and confirming CT are separate, I think.

Could also just be journalistic ass covering.

Screening of the last movie to the slaves provoked a fight between the humans and turians. No thank you.

...so you're telling me this didn't happen? Fuck. I really ought to take a furhead history course sometime.

Okay, that made me laugh. That's like saying the Siege of the Venetarix Diemma -bastion lasted for six hours and took only a platoon of soldiers. And that the fortress's cannon fired marshmallows.

Juhani and Sarah, you are both on. Might I suggest over here. I'll commandeer the range lounge's big screen TV, we're licensed to serve booze and I....

...well, the lady should know, I'm not that mobile these days, and I also ain't that pretty to look at. Y'know, until you've had eight or nine ales at least.

Any chance I, your hardworking leg mechanic, could talk my way into this? We have an agricultural base now, that means there's quarian booze that's not made from leftover Ancestors-know-what.

Hey, long as you can get drunk as shit, I figure you qualify. C'mon over.

get drunk

where